I don't know if it was because his memory was too long, but Xu Taiping always felt that the words in his mind were not only slightly different from his grandfather's last words before his death, but also the tone was more unwilling.
There was even a hint of resentment.
Resentful of the injustice of heaven.
Hate this whole body.
But soon, Xu Taiping recalled it.
This should be what my grandfather said while he was sitting by the bed the day before he died, half asleep and half awake.
"It turns out... Grandpa... passed away with such deep unwillingness and resentment..."
Xu Taiping, whose consciousness was still deeply immersed in the black vortex and couldn't extricate himself, almost used up all his "power" to gather such a thought in his mind.
But the moment this thought came to his mind, he "saw" a little light suddenly appear in the center of the black vortex.
But just this little bit of light, like a firefly, was like a thread, firmly "grabbing" Xu Taiping's mind, pulling it back up little by little.
But rather than being dragged out of the vortex, what attracted Xu Taiping more at this time was the scenes of the past that kept flashing in his mind.
I don't know why, the childhood scenes that were originally very vague in my memory became extremely clear at this moment.
Even when his grandfather carried him on his back to chop wood on the mountain, the sound of his heavy breathing seemed to be in his ears.
Not to mention, grandpa’s expression and every move.
And it was these clear scenes that allowed Xu Taiping to see and feel once again that his grandfather's words and eyes were completely opposite to his usual open-mindedness.
For example, when the talkative Uncle Zhao at the entrance of the village talked about the immortals from Yunlu Mountain who went to Qingshui Town to kill the snake demon, Grandpa's eyes were full of excitement and longing.
For example, when I heard that villagers from other towns had been selected by the Xian family to practice in the mountains, there was a look of envy in their eyes.
For example, the grandfather and grandson who spent the whole day collecting medicinal herbs at Erniu Mountain were sitting on the top of the mountain for a nap. After smoking a pot of cigarettes, the grandfather looked at the towering Yunlu Mountain on the horizon and let out a long sigh -
—
"There are four levels of spiritual bones in the world, the first-grade heavenly spirit bones, the second-grade golden spirit bones, the third-grade mysterious spirit bones, and the fourth-grade white bone spirits. The rest are all without the chance to practice."
"No chance to practice..."
"I have no chance to practice..."
And that summer night when I learned from Doctor Xu in the village that my condition was getting worse and there would be no cure in the near future.
Grandpa was sitting on the edge of the bed, fanning himself while sleeping on the reed mat, and talking to himself as if he was half asleep on the bed:
"Taiping, grandpa originally wanted to meet the old Taoist again and see if he could exchange this spirit bone pill and accept me as his disciple.
"
"But it seems that grandpa can't wait for that day."
"I'll leave this spirit bone pill that I've guarded for decades to you."
"Don't laugh at Grandpa for being greedy."
"Grandpa is really not willing to give in. Yunlu Mountain is obviously right in front of me. As long as I climb Yunlu Mountain, I can see the scenery in the eyes of the immortal family."
"But God doesn't even want to give me the chance to go up the mountain."
"I finally spent my whole life trying to get a spirit bone pill, but because I am old, taking it is useless!"
"Taiping, grandpa never complains about the difficulty of life, only complains about the unfairness of heaven!"
"Taiping, grandpa knows that in the eyes of God, he may not even be as good as an ant, let alone resist him."
"Grandpa only hopes that you can stand a little higher, a little higher, so that God can take a look, so that He can know that even a stranger can stand in front of Him!"
After seeing this extremely clear scene that appeared in his mind, Xu Taiping murmured in a daze:
"I originally thought that Grandpa was a little regretful that he had no chance to practice. I never expected that when he left, he had so much unwillingness and resentment in his heart."
He never expected that the little old man who would quarrel with a medicine dealer over a penny or two and worry about the daily necessities of his life would actually have such great ambitions in his heart.
at the same time.
Xu Taiping finally understood where the injustice, reluctance, and unwillingness deep in his heart came from.
Obviously, all this comes from what he inadvertently felt from his grandfather when he was young.
"If I wish, I can neither seek immortality nor happiness."
"If I wish, I can be as ants, as dust, as grass."
"But if I don't want to, even if I am as weak as an ant, I will spit on you when I am trampled to death."
Looking at the brighter and brighter spots of light above his head, Xu Taiping's mind was filled with thoughts.
In just the blink of an eye.
What was originally just a small point of light finally enveloped Xu Taiping's entire body.
Immediately, his consciousness and five senses came back.
At the same time, he could clearly feel that his broken golden elixir was being stitched together quickly by a strange force, like a needle and thread.
Obviously, this power comes from the great medicine of Lian Tong.
But immediately, there was a "bang" sound, and his body fell heavily into the cold lake water.
However, Xu Taiping did not jump out of the water immediately. Instead, he used the power of inner vision to quietly watch his broken golden elixir being stitched up bit by bit, and murmured expressionlessly:
"Grandpa, don't worry, this is definitely not the end of Taiping practice."