Being ordered to scold people is the most lucrative job among eunuchs. Those who can get this job from the palace minister must have the approval of Qiu Shi'an, the eunuch who oversees the prime minister's inner court, and he is also the most vicious and vicious person in the palace.
, the most sarcastic eunuch.
Such people are not uncommon in the palace.
But today, the person who came to the Rongguo Mansion to scold people on behalf of the emperor was not an ordinary eunuch, but the most scolding "scold saint" in the palace - scolding Xiao Diao.
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Yes, this "Scale Saint"'s family name is "Scale".
Because his family was convicted, he was ordered to change his surname to "Scale" from the beginning of the founding of the country. He was reduced to untouchables for generations. Both men and women in the family were only allowed to make a living by engaging in lowly occupations.
The mother who scolded Xiao Diao was sold to a low-class brothel since she was a child, and his father was a big teapot in another brothel. The family raised Xiao Diao until he was six years old and could no longer afford to support him, so he let a relative who was a drummer
He was brought to the capital and sent to the palace to be cleansed and have a bowl of food to eat.
With such an origin, even among the eunuchs, Xiao Diao is always looked down upon by others.
Not only that, he was also assigned to the Department of Bells and Drums. Because the Department of Bells and Drums was in charge of the ringing of bells and drumming when the emperor went to court, sacrifices, accompaniment of banquets for weddings and funerals in the palace, as well as song and dance performances, internal music, legends,
There were actors and prostitutes involved in various dramas such as brocade and rice beating, all of whom were from lowly positions, so the palace considered this department to be the most lowly.
What was even more unfortunate happened when an official from Tianjin Guard came to see the emperor.
It's so good that the officer has a strong Tianjinwei accent, and he also has a colloquial saying: "Jie Si Ma (four tones)" (what is this).
The eunuchs and maids in the palace all found it interesting, and they all learned it in private.
So, when I had nothing to do, the eunuch in charge deliberately imitated the Tianjin Wei accent and asked and scolded Xiao Diao:
"Xiao Diao, what's your last name?"
He scolded Xiao Diao for his low status, but he didn't dare not answer, so he had to answer politely:
"The slave's surname is scolding."
The eunuch in charge burst into laughter:
"Why do you still want to ask me your last name? Your mother doesn't know?"
As a result, all the eunuchs around started laughing.
After being insulted, Xiao Diao not only did not dare to get angry, but also had to laugh along with everyone else.
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Originally from a humble background, he became a person with six imperfections and was abused every day. His extreme low self-esteem, humiliation and depression made him mature much earlier than his peers.
In order to get ahead, he never hesitates.
After ten years of suffering, this humble little eunuch finally became the chief steward of the Bell and Drum Division.
The eunuchs in the palace no longer looked down on the Bell and Drum Division, but they dared not look down on the head of the Bell and Drum Division. After all, among the twenty-four yamen of the twelve eunuchs, the fourth division, and the eighth bureau in the inner court, he was also a second-in-command.
One of the fourteen heads.
What's more, he is only nineteen years old and his future is limitless.
What's more, he is feminine and vicious, and he can turn his back faster than turning the pages of a book.
Although he cannot compare with Dai Quan and Qiu Shian, Xiao Diao is also a rising star among eunuchs.
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As a young leader among the eunuchs, Xiao Diao knows how to serve his master with all his heart, and he also knows how to use the smallest power in his hands to create the most trouble for others and get the most generous rewards.
For example, in today's errand, the ideal price point for scolding Xiao Diao is that if Jia Zheng pays one thousand taels of silver, he will "not scold"; if Jia Zheng pays five hundred taels of silver, he will "half scold".
Result?
As a result, Jia Zheng not only gave him a dime, but also called him a "villain"!
Haha.
You have to know that the reputation of "swearing saints" and scolding Xiaodiao is not in vain.
Filthy words are said to be dirty words, and greeting your mother and ancestors for eighteen generations is considered light.
Although before this trip, Qiu Shian told him, "Jia Zheng is a nerd, don't go too far," but he doesn't need to use curse words to scold Xiao Diao, and he can still call you a bloody idiot.
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He scolded Xiao Diao with a stiff face, took a deep breath, raised his high-pitched voice, spoke the fluent Beijing accent he had learned over the years, pointed at Jia Zheng's nose and started "scolding":
"The emperor said, Jia Zheng, Jia Zheng, you are still a big man, you don't care about anything serious if you are asked to do it, the emperor will be so angry as soon as he hears your name.<
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The Emperor said, I see that you are pretending to be a real person, and you are as talkative as a gourd. In fact, you have always been cheating and playing tricks. You only know how to eat and sleep every day. When you see Tian'er, you go to the ministry to work.
Fei, tell me about your big shit, but you still make some silly things from time to time to disgust me.
The emperor said, good fellow, you are almost fifty, how did you grow? You are a bastard raised in a pot, the more you live, the more you become twitchy, you are a bastard with a glass ball, not a toy.
The emperor said, look at yourself in the mirror and look at your virtues. You pretend to be a person of five or six, but you look like that. In fact, you are just a piece of trash. You do nothing but idle around all day long.
There is no accurate score, the rest is to stir up some weird things, the emperor is not enough to wipe your ass.
The emperor said, tell me about you, are your eyes so hard on your butt? Or are your brains so hard on your butt? There is not a single job in the Ministry of Industry that you can't do without making mistakes? If it rains today, other places
Everything is fine. Good guy, the imperial mausoleum you are responsible for actually got flooded. Tell me, besides eating hard food, can you do anything else? With all the spitting stars that the emperor spent time with you.
It’s all wasted!
The emperor said, your ancestors have been short of virtue for eight lifetimes, so they expect that something like you, with no progress at all, can make a difference. Tell me about your unlucky thing with such virtue, what is your family?
Sooner or later, all your wealth will be wiped out by you, a good-for-nothing.
When the time comes that your family has been ruined for you, I will let you eat stick noodle cakes. At most, I will give you a bowl of cold noodles for free. That will be considered a great kindness from God..."<
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Swearing is not just a physical job, it requires real skills.
Even though he was scolding Xiao Diao, who was small and dry, he pointed at Jia Zheng with his hands on his hips and cursed for more than an hour without any pause in the middle. Not only did his waist not hurt, but his legs didn't hurt either.
, the mouth is not dry, the throat is not hoarse, and this meal includes scoldings and curses, but none of them are serious.
That's all, I'm still scolding Xiao Diao for not giving full play to his business abilities.
If it hadn't been for Qiu Shi'an's instructions, he would have paid close attention to Jia Zheng's wife, Jia Zheng's mother, and all the women of the eighteenth generation of the Jia family.
Poor classmate Jia Zheng, kneeling on the ground, he could only lower his head and listen to him saying "The Emperor has said it". He could neither defend nor retaliate, and he had to lie on the ground to thank him. If he hadn't been afraid of being accused of resisting the imperial decree, which would implicate the whole family,
He just wanted to die here.
He was a nerd, and he couldn't understand why the eunuch who was "given orders" did not imitate the emperor's tone of scolding, but chose to use such unpalatable village vulgarity to curse unreasonably?
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Finally, he finished scolding Xiao Diao with every possible restraint and finished his "orders", stamping his feet and shouting:
"The emperor said that this is the end of today's order. Jia Zheng, you bastard, get out of here and think about it behind closed doors for three months, and then hand it over to the Ministry for discussion!"
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Jia Zheng's clothes were soaked with cold sweat, and he was trembling like a man who had eaten grease from a tobacco pipe. He had to kowtow to express gratitude.
Sitting behind closed doors and thinking about it for three months is nothing more than "suspension to reflect".
But the last sentence, "hand it over to the Ministry for discussion," frightened all the Jia family members present.
Jia Mu, who was kneeling on the ground, immediately turned pale and collapsed to the ground. Neither Yuanyang nor Hubo could help her up.
It’s over. I originally thought it was just a matter of “providing instructions” and just scolding me. Why is there still a “hand to the ministry for discussion”?
If Jia Zheng is punished by the officials, then the Jia family...
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It doesn't matter what virtue the Jia family is frightened into by scolding Xiao Diao. At this time, he was already gloating about his misfortune - when I came in, I gave that old bastard Jia Zheng a chance. Who told him to die without paying for it!<
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Seeing the message, Xiao Diao turned around and left, but Jia Lian stood up quickly, chased after him and said:
"Please, father-in-law, please stay for now."
Xiao Diao glanced at Jia Lian - he didn't recognize him, so he kept walking and ignored him.