"A house worth one thousand yuan should be paid once a month. Move! Move now!"
"Moved?"
"We've moved, but something should happen." Qi Yuncheng changed his words and his expression became serious behind the microphone.
Luan Yunping asked softly, "Why did something happen again?"
"A few days ago, when I woke up in the morning, I was fine. Standing at the door, there was an orange seller, picking oranges with him. I saw the old man coming from a distance."
"Boss Third Master?"
"We have to say hello!" Qi Yuncheng became enthusiastic and shouted with a smile, "Old Master, Third Master!"
Come on, come on!
He came over and looked at me, Yuncheng, what's wrong? Buy some fruit?
Let's go up to the house and have some tea.
If not, come back on the 8th."
"Why are you here on the 8th?" Luan Yunping asked again.
"The eighth is my rent."
"Oh, collect the rent."
"Old man!
Qi Yuncheng turned to one side and said in a funny voice: "What's wrong? I can't live in your house and come here to have a glass of water. This is more than what we can do?
Go up to the house."
"Humanity is good."
"I'm going to help you in and make some tea. You can drink it and wait for me for five minutes."
"Are you leaving?"
"I turned around and went out. There was a local produce store across the road."
"What are you doing there for?"
Qi Yuncheng immediately explained, "The manager, Lao Wei, was from Datong, Shanxi, and ran a small coal mine. Later, something happened and he came to Yanjing to seek refuge."
"Oh, hiding from trouble." Luan Yunping nodded understandingly.
"Now that there is a store like this, I open the door and come in.
Old wilting!
Oh? Mr. Qi, what’s the matter?
Give me two thousand yuan.
It’s two thousand dollars.”
After speaking, Qi Yuncheng stretched out his hand and started counting the money with his fingers. Luan Yunping was confused when he saw it, "Wait a minute, Lao Wei from the grocery store owes you money?"
"I don't owe money."
"Then why did he give you two thousand when you asked for two thousand?"
"We are business partners and have a friendship. We took the money and counted one thousand when we got home." Qi Yuncheng handed it forward with a smile on his face, "Old man, I will give you the rent, one thousand yuan.<
/p>
The old man was stunned, he didn’t have time yet.
What's wrong? What's wrong with the ten-to-eight-day difference? It's getting colder and colder the day after tomorrow. If you don't run away less, we are a family. I can't control others, so I'll give you my share first."
"Thoughtful."
"I'm sorry, old man, is this appropriate?
You take it."
Qi Yuncheng stepped forward and returned to his conversation, "The old man stood up and wanted to leave, but I stopped him.
Don't go in a hurry. It's half past eleven. It's time to eat. Tell my wife to simmer the rice, add more water, and make it soft. The old man has bad teeth.
Get a few more yellow croakers, a few cold dishes, and boil some wine when you're done. Don't mix it with white wine, which will hurt your stomach, and beer will make your stomach full.
Warm some rice wine, cut some ginger slices, put some plum blossoms, and drink two glasses with the old man.
How about this?"
Luan Yunping nodded repeatedly, "That's a good idea."
"This is nothing more than the same for my master."
"That's right, you've insulted him."
Hahaha!
Amid some laughter from the audience, Qi Yuncheng changed his expression, but he didn't have any problems, and the show took a little longer.
They can all count the time.
Including Luan Yunping herself. He talks less and pays a little attention to the rhythm of the cross talk from time to time.
"After eating and drinking, the old man teased Kuai Zi and I have to leave. There are a few companies that go out in the afternoon. When I got there late, the door was locked."
Luan Yunping looked at the audience and said: "I haven't confiscated the entire house payment yet."
"I supported him, my wife also supported me, and my son followed behind. The family of three sent the old man out as if he were the emperor."
"Respectfully."
"If you don't give it away, it'll be fine. If you give it away, disaster will come."
Luan Yunping took a breath at this juncture and wondered, "Why did giving back bring trouble?"
"He stood in the courtyard and looked up, his eyebrows stood up!"
"What's wrong?"
"Grandson!
Find me a house to move to!
" Gritting his teeth, Qi Yuncheng leaned on the table and yelled like a curse. After shouting, he looked aggrieved again, "You are a sensible person. My heart was pounding at that time. We are honest people."
"Yes, don't be angry."
Seeing the surge of emotions, Luan Yunping reached out and tried to persuade her, "What's the reason for this?"
"You all heard it, what do I do to him?"
"Not bad!" Luan Yunping replied on behalf of the audience.
"Stuffy rice, boiled fish, cooked vegetables, warm rice wine. I don't treat my master like this."
"Yes, I said it twice."
"If he talks like this, I have to ask."
"You have to ask."
Swallowing his saliva, Qi Yuncheng held back the emotion of crying and said: "Man, this is your fault. If you have anything to say, you can't curse.
Furthermore, they said that I was involved in prostitution and that I was involved in gambling? Did I do something shameful?
And if you can’t tell me why I’m here, I won’t be polite.”
"This is interesting."
Qi Yuncheng switched to the role of Mr. Men and said, "What? A den of prostitutes and gambling? I won't even care if I chop you up."
"I'm going to ask you something right now!" Qi Yuncheng raised his head and stared upward menacingly, "Where are those tiles on my house?
”
Key points come out.
The show has reached the most interesting part.
As for this tile, it was naturally sold to that old wilted man, otherwise how would he have gotten the two thousand yuan?
When conflicts arise.
Qi Yuncheng made a move on the stage and slapped him out of thin air, "Can I suffer that loss? I rounded it up and gave him a big mouth."
"Hit someone?"
"Don't say more than 70, there are quite a few in the 90s."
Hahahaha!
Amid laughter, Luan Yunping couldn't help but be surprised, "Okay, that's pretty awesome."
"It's so outrageous. Old man, are you saying that your life has been in vain at such an old age? There is no one like you! Bang!
Another mouth!"
"Look."
"The force of the beating was too great, and all the dentures came out. I squatted on the ground to pick them up." Qi Yuncheng looked at the dentures, then made a gesture of putting them into his pants pocket, "I won't give them to you anymore."
"What?"
"Save it for nail clipping."
"Ha! You really don't mess with things."
"Boom! Another kick, knocking the old man to the ground. My wife came over and pulled off the old man's shoes."
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"What?"
"歘(chua)!歘!"
Watching Qi Yuncheng throw it up twice, Luan Yunping held the table and wondered, "Is this?"
"The house was thrown away."
"Whether it's a loss or not is up to you."
"My son came over. The child was so useful that he brought the old man's walking stick over and Kacha gave it a discount."
"Okay!" Luan Yunping looked at the audience and then pointed at her partner and complained, "A family of bastards, what kind of thing are they doing?"
Qi Yuncheng didn't care what his partner said. He sneered and raised his right foot, "Step on the old man's head and take out the thousand yuan from his pocket.
Another four hundred was taken out of the other pocket."
"This belongs to an old man."
"Ouch!
"Qi Yuncheng said with a begging expression, "If you make a mistake, you will be punished."
"What's wrong with you!
”
"There is no money in my pocket."
"Looked through them all."
Qi Yuncheng plucked his sleeves with his left and right hands and yelled: "I'm telling you! You're boring! I'll give you three days from today to come here and apologize.
If you don’t come, your whole family will be set on fire in three days.”
"Ha!
Luan Yunping suddenly had a lot to say at this time, "Why don't everyone say that Deyun is a gangster? You can tell from this.
They also set fire to their whole family."
Three points for teasing and seven points for praise.
Although it is not a burden, the sentence about measuring work made the audience laugh a bit, especially the word "gangster".
In the past, Qi Yuncheng would have used the things his partner gave him from time to time to smash things, but talking for more than a few seconds felt like a waste of time.
I can only continue to talk about the bad things.
"Grab the old man by the collar, come to the gate, and kick him out."
"Good guy, cruel enough."
"Turn around and go inside to drink."
"Still drinking?"
Qi Yuncheng stroked his chest, rising and falling as if he was really angry, "I feel uncomfortable, but I really hope that the matter will be over here."
"Is it done?"
"I never thought this old man was not ashamed."
"What's wrong?"
"He went home and told people about it? Do you still want shame?"
Listening to her partner's words, Luan Yunping was laughed out of anger at this moment. However, this character was originally a shameless existence, so she quickly raised her voice.
"If you beat someone like that, can they not tell you?"
Qi Yuncheng was very puzzled, "The old man has no humanity! How can you say this? Even if there is someone in your family, you can just say it."
"No one is home?"
"Yes! There are only seven sons, six uncles, twelve godsons, and fifteen nephews..."
"Stop it, that's a lot."
"Where is there anyone here?"
"Is there no one yet?"
"The old man made a phone call, and all these shameless people showed up. As soon as he came, the old man looked down and told people how I beat him, how my wife took off his shoes, and how the child stuck out his cane. p>
What are you talking about?"
"Can you not say it?"
"You're showing your face, right? You'll have to knock out your teeth and swallow this matter."
"Why do you think so?"
"Everything you eat will make you wiser, and you will be a good person in the future. You still have a chance."
"Who?"
"What's going on? After all..." Qi Yuncheng supported the table and nodded politely with his other hand, "If there is a father like this Hu Tu, then there is a son like this bastard."
"What's wrong?"
"The eldest son stood up: Let's go find him!
Look what a bastard you are, why are you involved in this?"
Luan Yunping nodded: "You don't want to combine ginseng."
"Because the old man has a nephew who is a sensible person."
"What's wrong?"
Qi Yuncheng was in the role instantly. He looked around and said softly: "Sit down, sit down, sit down. I'm not telling you, uncle, if you don't cause trouble on earth, you will cause trouble in heaven? You can't cause trouble, but you can cause Qi Yuncheng
?"
"What's wrong with you?" Luan Yunping asked confused.
"Is Qi Yuncheng okay? He's talking about cross talk!
”
"Yes!"
"Sometimes he stands on the left and sometimes on the right."
"Sometimes I'm alone, so what's the use."
"He can also do that..." Qi Yuncheng raised his hands above his head and swayed, "He can also do that dignified mourning hall!"
"What's the use of Allegro."
"Yes! If Qi Yuncheng doesn't work, how can Luan Yunping, who supports him, still be worthy?"
"Why mention me?"
"Luan Yunping is nothing special, Luan Yunping's brother!"
"Who?"
"Can you afford to offend the bathhouse guy?"
"This is all a mess."
"It is said that Qi Yuncheng is still the leader of an army, and he still has an organization."
Luan Yunping looked at her partner in surprise, "Huo oh, why didn't I know?"
Qi Yuncheng lowered his head and counted with his fingers, "Luan Yunping, Yue Yunpeng, Kong Yunlong, Zhang Yunlei..."
As soon as the name is uttered, the audience instantly understands what kind of army this army is.
"These are the first batch of troops, and there is also the second batch! Zhang Helun, Meng Hetang, Li Hedong, Cao Heyang, Yan Hexiang..."
"Okay! Kong Yunlong was beaten to the ground by a professional boxer just a few days ago!
”
When Luan Yunping mentioned it, the audience laughed a lot. Someone indeed knew about Kong Yunlong's matter. After all, De Yun's matter was not trivial, so it made a lot of news at the time.
Although there were still nine characters, Qi Yuncheng stopped counting and put his hands into his sleeves, "Let's not talk about the army. Don't you know there are two people above his head?"
"Who?"
"Guo Degang, Yu Qian! People running around the theater naked in the middle of the night."
"Oops!" Luan Yunping was really speechless at this moment. She couldn't help but laugh, and she looked at the movement of many people below and said, "I really didn't expect that the original joke was for this."<
/p>
"So don't wait for them to come to you. Go ahead and apologize. If they wander around our house naked, do you think you can bear it?"
Hahahahaha!
Xu~~
At this moment, the audience is crazy happy here. Many people are slapping their thighs and laughing. They really can’t help it.
Mainly because it has a sense of imagery.
Bare buttocks, the old couple, one in black and one in white, panting and running around the house in the middle of the night, not daring to think too much.
The key is to follow the character of Teacher Guo and the uncle.
Maybe it can actually be done, so it’s fun to think about it.
And Luan Yunping pointed out, "You still apologize, you are so mean!
”
"Have you seen it? Thanks to someone who understands, things have been smoothed out."
"This is called a sensible person?"
"I was drinking." Qi Yuncheng leaned up and picked up the wine glass with his right hand, "Suddenly the child came, dad, dad, the old man came with a group of people.
I said it's okay, let's see.
I looked out through the crack in the door and saw that about two hundred people had arrived."
"So many?"
"They all still have gifts in their hands."
"Really come to see you?"
"Chop knives, axes, pipe pliers, electric saws, sticks..."
"Ouch!" Luan Yunping tugged on her partner's arm, "You're not giving a gift, it's obviously a fight."
"I don't care so much, lock the door first!
"Qi Yuncheng clasped his hands together, lowered his head and muttered, "What should I do?"
"Think about it."
"When things come to pass, as a person of status, I will not be afraid in the face of danger. I will see what they plan to do."
"Yeah."
"As soon as I entered the alley, they called me, hehe, that's polite!
”
"What did you say?"
As soon as he finished speaking, Qi Yuncheng put his hands on his hips and shouted, "Qi Yuncheng! Grandson, get out of here!
”
"Hum, is this polite?"
"When they are polite, my heart becomes soft, and when my heart becomes soft, my legs become weak."
"That's scary."
"Hmph! Can I be scared? Can I be scared? In an instant, the image of my uncle and my master running around naked appeared in my mind.
They are not afraid of death, am I still afraid?"
Luan Yunping had to admit, "She is quite spirited."
Qi Yuncheng: "I can't be afraid. There is a big bluestone at home, which weighs more than 120 kilograms. I can't hold it normally.
I can't care about that much today, I think if I kill one of them, I'll earn a profit, if I kill two of them, I'll earn one.
Pick up the stone and walk forward, thump thump thump!
”
Luan Yunping: "How many of them were killed?"
Qi Yuncheng: "Block the door."
"Is that all you have?"
As expected, Luan Yunping shouted, and at the same time moved the fan he had used before slightly to its original position.
"I looked out through the crack in the door. There were a lot of people, including an old man. My eyes were almost bleeding. What should I do?"
Luan Yunping helped with advice, "What else can we do? Just run."
"Bah!
”
"What's wrong?"
Qi Yuncheng said angrily: "You're looking down on me. I'm De Yun who talks about cross talk. I got out of the knife and gun. I haven't killed anyone in three days."
"I even doubt what cross talk is for."
"I let them scare me? Then I ran away? I can't afford to embarrass anyone."
"Then what do you do?"
"I have to... leave quickly!
”
After saying this, Luan Yunping was speechless and waved her hands, "It's better to run."
"From a botanical perspective, there is no way out."
"No matter what botany is about."
"Go behind the wall. My wall is short, so I step forward and lean down to the waist. Ouch, what a coincidence!" Qi Yuncheng suddenly felt a little happy.
"No one?"
"Squat six."
"Okay, let's get stuck."
"I knew I had to leave from here, come on, tie them all up!
"After learning what others said, Qi Yuncheng looked disgusted and said, "That's so cruel. You tied me up with wires and tied me up until I was solid.
I thought to myself, if I were put on any TV parody show, I would definitely win the first prize."
"Who should I learn from?"
"Zongzi."
"No, what have you beaten people to?"
"I was tied up so much that I almost couldn't breathe. One of them shouted, "Let's go in and start a fight," and the surrounding neighbors all came out.
The old man is also following this, he is not ashamed or ashamed.
Tell everyone how I hit him and how I scolded him. Why are you talking about this? How will you mess around after that?"
"Who is messing around?"
"His son is coming with a stick!
"Qi Yuncheng turned to one side and picked up the fan that Luan Yunping had moved just now. He patted the table twice and said, "Give me some sticks!"
"Don't get beaten."
"Everyone, don't worry, I'm tied up, but I don't accept it, so I open my mouth and curse!
”
"How to scold?"
"Mom~" Qi Yuncheng cried sadly.
"Call me mom?"
"Tang, another stick, grandma~"
"Wait a moment, you are not cursing the streets, you should be cursing people's ancestors."
Qi Yuncheng twitched his nose and said, "My ancestors~~"
"Okay, call me ancestor."
"In just a short while, the door opposite opened and Uncle Wang came out.
Don't fight, don't fight, don't fight, Third Master, you said he hit you and kicked you, but I didn't see you. Now you guys are beating him, but I saw him.
You see, no one is at fault. Just give me some face, brother, and forget about it. Your house can be rented for two thousand a month, so just let him go.
Don't beat him, don't scold him. Nawa, if you can get it back, just do it. If you don't come back, forget it. Brother, give your brother a face...
I’m so angry, is this what people say?”
"Every sentence is human speech."
"He's not facing me..."
"They still don't like you?"
"I said in my heart, OK! You are lucky to be honest. I would have beaten him one day earlier. He has wronged me! This old man Wang is not a human being."
"What's going on?"
"The lights on the telephone poles in the alley are all gone. He came to our house to search for them. Do you think this is a human being?"
Knowing the humanity of Qi Yuncheng's character, Luan Yunping said directly: "It's you who caused the failure."
"I said search, search, search, in the front and back yards, look for that box, that cabinet, dig it out and say whatever you want. Search them all, don't move except for that box..."
"It's in the box." Luan Yunping understood, and continued to ask, "Did you really remove the light bulb?"
"Nonsense, keep it safe! The child is naughty and I'm afraid it will be broken and it will affect everyone's travels, so I will unscrew it and put it in my room."
"What do you use it for?"
"I change the light bulbs in my house."
"That's still a stolen light bulb!"
"And now they can even ask me, what do you want to do?"
Suddenly Qi Yuncheng was surprised and smiled, "I said in my heart that you let me speak, that's fine! If you don't let me speak, just do it. Let me speak. This is called one bird overwhelming the forest and hundreds of birds greening the forest. You guys have finished speaking in a dignified manner.
I don’t even dare to take a breath.
"What did you say?"
"As long as the fathers don't hit me, I can do whatever I want!"
"That's it!"
……
……
Hahahaha!
"Okay!
”
"One more!
”
Quack, quack, quack, quack!
When the cross talk ended, more than 6,000 people below applauded and laughed continuously. Although it is an old joke, it still has a taste.
The key point is that everyone remembers the joke about Teacher Guo and Uncle Yu’s bare buttocks.
The more I think about it, the less I can forget it.
But the commotion in the audience was extremely exciting, but the two people in the audience were confused. The performance was over, which meant that there was really not much time.
At the same time, Qi Yuncheng glanced at Luan Yunping, and Luan Yuping also glanced back to confirm each other's thoughts, because there was no time to return, only the curtain call.
Fortunately, the actual performance was a little faster than the scheduled performance, so they still had fifteen minutes during the curtain call.
So Qi Yuncheng quickly turned around to take a look at the crowded side curtain, and then turned back.
"Thank you everyone for praising us so much and applauding us so enthusiastically! But to be honest, we don't have much time today.
Those in the industry may understand that the requirements for such a large venue are much stricter than those for a small theater, so there is not much time left.
In the last minute, let’s call all the actors up and have a nice chat together and let’s do whatever we like.”
"Okay!
”
After the audience agreed in unison, all the actors in the side curtain today came on stage.
But after everyone stood up.
Qi Yuncheng was a little hesitant. Looking around, he saw that the audience, like stars, were densely packed in front of them and on the sides of the stage.
Having said this, the audience is not satisfied, and the actors are even more so.
There is no other way, the time is arranged like this.
"It's nine forty now. Finally, whatever you want to hear, I will sing it for you as long as you want to hear it!"
Perhaps they felt Qi Yuncheng's helplessness on the stage, but the audience didn't think anything of it. After all, they had a great night here today.
But I definitely can’t let it go in the end.
"Skeleton sighs!
”
"The truth!
”
"Eighteen touches!
”
"Yes! Let's do a 18 touch!
”
"Come on one!
Come on!
”
"Yes, yes! Eighteen touches!"
……
There were thousands of people in the audience, and they all shouted normally at first. Even if they shouted the truth, they knew the actors could play tricks, so they shouted to play.
But suddenly a Shibamo appeared, and everyone below was infected.
It has become a state of following others' opinions.
One or two is okay, but a group of people are shouting, and they are having fun while shouting.
The entire gym has no idea what it is doing. If the relevant departments see it, they will definitely think it is not a serious place.
How can there be so many people calling Shiba Mo.
It's just a small theater, with only three hundred people at most. Now let alone six thousand people shouting, there are still thousands of people shouting, shouting layer upon layer.
Qi Yun Chengdu was confused. The quality of the audience is so good now? He turned around and looked at Luan Yunping. Luan Yunping couldn't help but feel happy. Needless to say, Shaobing, Xiaosi, Gao Feng and others.
Everyone is watching the show.
Fortunately, Qi Yuncheng is not a mainstream leader or a person with too high quality. He rolled up his sleeves twice and felt like risking his life, "Eighteen touches, eighteen touches!"
If you don’t know how to do this stuff, you can’t say you’re a cross talk artist!
I will sing for you!
”
"Hahahaha!"
"Okay!
Come on!
”
"Qi Yuncheng! I love you! Come one!
”
"Hahaha! How could I not pursue such a character for the rest of my life?"