Crosstalk: There is no big or small thing on stage, but there is a new tomb offstage Chapter 366: It was also the first time that my daughter killed someone, leaving some evidence behind!
Chapter 366: It was also the first time that my daughter killed someone, leaving some evidence behind!
On the stage, Qi Yuncheng worked hard, and Luan Yunping stood beside him and could only hold back his laughter, but he could only make do with his partner, otherwise he would get married today.
But after a while, he returned to the topic, "No one in the underworld likes to do gang work as much as you do."
"If something happens to you, you won't be able to protect me and ask me."
"What can I ask of you?"
"You don't ask for anything? Is your family fine? Let me give you an example."
"You said."
"Hey!" Sighing, Qi Yuncheng kept thinking behind the microphone, "Nothing happened to your family recently. Let's just talk about your wife. Your wife is not feeling well."
"Why do you feel uncomfortable?"
"The prostate is wrong."
"Wait a moment!
”
"Just like Uncle Wang next door."
"Where is Uncle Wang!
”
After trying twice to stop her, Luan Yunping suddenly pulled hard and said, "No, women don't have this disease."
Qi Yuncheng was a little embarrassed, "The leg must be broken. I asked the doctor to connect it to your wife, but the connection was reversed, and the two of them knocked their knees and rushed back."
"Okay, I'll marry a dog."
"Medical accident."
"What an accident? My wife went to the hospital and ran away. The doctor couldn't tell me to send me a dog back."
Hahaha!
The two people talked about the different baggage of the original joke, and the audience was laughing.
Qi Yuncheng spoke again: "Anyway, I'll let you go in peace."
"How to level it?"
"I asked the doctor and his family to replace the glass every day."
Luan Yunping frowned, "Are you going to smash someone's glass?"
"It's okay to throw excrement, but my master said, you have to pay extra for it."
"Why?"
"Think about it, the feeling of scratching your head is different from scratching the excrement."
"Oh, you are really a dirty gangster."
"If you have anything to say, please speak up. I have people who will arrest you and bring them to justice."
"Do you have any brothers?"
"There is a child who is fourteen years old and no longer goes to school. He is following me." After finishing his words, Qi Yuncheng immediately looked to the side and waved, "Good boy, you have development and ambition. People go to lower places and water flows to lower places."
."
"All gone?"
"This is my younger brother, and there is also an off-duty worker on crutches. He said I will hang out with you. Okay, hang out with me and be my bodyguard."
"Disability?"
"There is also a buddy who has polio and follows me in a wheelchair."
After telling a series of words, Luan Yunping reacted for a while and then complained, "What kind of underworld is this? It's a welfare home!"
Stunned by the words, Qi Yuncheng looked at Luan Yunping and became unhappy, and said clearly: "Go to Changping County, Qinghe Shahe River, Kangzhuangzi, Qinglong Bridge, South Exit, Huailai Shacheng Baoan Xiahuayuan Xinzhuangzi!"
"You're not done yet, are you!
”
Hahahahaha!
I don’t know what the burden is, but Qi Yuncheng said it again and again, and the audience’s laughter seemed to have been trampled to death, and they couldn’t stop laughing.
Even Luan Yunping is the same. After all, it was not arranged, but overall she is in very good condition.
"Be careful, I'll kill you."
"It can be seen that all the gangsters graduated from Deyun.
”
"I took my brothers and ran away. I was so happy. We had a good time eating and drinking. Our organization was established. Just bring half a bottle of beer and we'll get drunk."
"Too little alcohol."
"Just one tael per person, drink and eat! You'll be full with wine and food! But your stomach feels like Madian at 5:30 in the afternoon."
"Is it all blocked together?"
"I'm happy after eating, let's go, eh?"
Qi Yuncheng suddenly became puzzled, rummaging around for his things, and even lifted up his coat and rummaged through his pants pockets.
"What's wrong?" Luan Yunping asked.
"Where is my phone? Huh? I'm a gangster and someone steals my phone?"
"What kind of underworld?"
"Excuse me, can you lend me your cell phone to make a call? Hey, the call is still connected." Qi Yuncheng pretended to hold the cell phone in his hand and couldn't believe it. "Logically speaking, people who steal cell phones don't dare to turn them on. They turn them off after stealing them."
”
"Yes."
"Hey, where is my phone?
Well! I’m here.
Oh, you dare to talk to me like this? Where are you?
Forty minutes, you go up the Qinghe River to find me."
Hearing this, Luan Yunping nodded suddenly, "Yeah! Go ahead, you are familiar with this place. You have read it twice."
Qi Yuncheng was a little speechless and continued to yell at the person on the phone, "Okay, am I afraid of you? I'm a member of a team, come on, roll the car over. The one is on crutches, you pedal the bicycle and support me.
Let’s go to Qinghe River to make peace.”
The audience was amused by the miserable look, and Luan Yunping even exclaimed, "Oh, this organization is amazing."
"The child was holding me up, and I was holding my waist behind me, followed by someone with a cane, and then someone with a wheelchair."
"The underworld is so miserable, you know?"
"I'm exhausted after arriving in Qinghe." Qi Yuncheng held his cell phone and leaned on the table, panting: "Where are you? We've arrived in Qinghe.
Why did you come here? See you at the Drum Tower in an hour and a half."
"Huh? Why did you change it to that?" Luan Yunping wondered.
"I'll kill you and me."
Qi Yuncheng was so angry that he continued to imitate the actions of several people, "riding a bicycle, leaning on a crutch, rocking a wheelchair. Halfway through, rocking the wheelchair, he said: Can I quit? My hands are broken, I won't go. ."
Why don’t you go? Are you cool? Steamed lamb, steamed bear paws, steamed deer tail, roasted flower duck, roasted chicks, roasted goose..."
"You are trying to support me to death." Luan Yunping complained and stopped her again, "Stop talking."
"Go to Gulou to make a call. Where are you? We're here.
How did you get here? See you at the door in fifty minutes.
Walk, walk, kick quickly."
"Come to the front door?"
"At this time, the man on crutches ran away secretly, taking the sparks with him along the way."
"That is."
"The two of us were left kicking as hard as we could. We pushed to the front door to make a phone call. Where are you?
Why are you here just now? I’ll see you at Caihuying in twenty minutes."
Luan Yunping pointed with her hand, "Are you in the Caihu camp again?"
"Come down here, kid, you can ride on your own. I really can't bear it anymore."
"The car is all for you."
"As soon as we get to Caihuying, I will turn around and kill you. I will force you to death and exhaust you to death. How dare you steal my mobile phone?"
"Yes, one is the name of the dish and the other is the geographical map."
"I was just watching a bus coming. As soon as the door opened, the driver came down and said: Next time you get on the bus, be sober. Your mobile phone was left on the bus."
"Oh, it's so unfair for three people to quit."
When the last baggage was revealed, Qi Yuncheng stood behind the microphone and felt all kinds of uncomfortable. Then he nodded to himself, "I didn't understand until he left. I will follow 819 for a lap."
"You finally understand this line."
"Later I thought about it again and again, why I am so useless, mainly because I don't have a tattoo."
"That's all?"
Qi Yuncheng patted both of his arms, "I have a green dragon on the left and a white tiger on the right, but will it hurt if I tie it up?"
Luan Yunping responded: "Of course it hurts."
Qi Yuncheng: "I won't be that stupid. I'll use a child to stick to that."
Luan Yunping: "Painting?"
Qi Yuncheng: "I'll take a big one! It's all over my body, it's stained on the front and back. The big red dragon looks good. Once it's stained, I'll wear a small coat, but there's a problem."
Luan Yunping: "What's the problem?"
Qi Yuncheng: "Yanjing people are not easy to fool. Let me get to the station. There are many people from other places at the station. I will scare them. As soon as I untied it, the fellow villagers waiting for the train were frightened."
Luan Yunping: "It's really scary??"
Qi Yuncheng: "Huh, I'm from the underworld!
It started raining just now.
This group of people all retreated and retreated under the eaves to take shelter from the rain. I want to go over and take shelter from the rain. I have no status."
Luan Yunping: "What do you want."
"I stood in the rain. It stopped raining for more than forty minutes, and it stopped, but it was all spent." Qi Yuncheng suddenly lowered his head and lost his momentum, looked ahead, picked up his fan and said shakily: "Quick,
Take out all the money, I'm collecting protection money."
"Do you still need more money?"
"Folks, look at me, you're bleeding, let's go.
I'm from the underworld, and I still have some back, look at the back."
Qi Yuncheng turned his body sideways and pointed at his back, but then he pretended to be a fellow countryman and complained: "Have you ever seen any gangster with Crayon Shin-chan tattooed on them?"
"Damn, what happened if it was posted wrong?"
"I'm embarrassed, but I'm not afraid. I can sing by myself."
"What to sing?"
"Elephant~elephant~why is your trunk so long?"
"I got you."
Hahahaha!
While laughing, the jokes kept going on. Even though both of them already knew what the baggage was, the actors' performance styles and lines couldn't be the same. After talking for a while, the two of them were about to fall in love.
"You can make money by going to a nightclub, even if you give the girls a blowjob. I like that place very much, it's a civilized place. Although I haven't spent any money, I've always been eager to work there."
"Yes, you don't have money to spend either."
"Who said that? Didn't I receive protection money?"
"Have you collected it?"
"There was a family just outside the door. I went there at night, and when I walked in, the two young ladies and Na were crying.
I said it was okay. If you have anything to say to me, please stop crying. How long have you lived?"
"Ah?" Luan Yunping's facial expression was surprised, "Old lady?"
"Looks like you are quite old, thirty.
I stepped forward and asked, what's wrong? Are you crying like this?"
After Qi Yuncheng asked, he changed his role, rubbed his eyes and cried, "The guests who came here today didn't give me any money, and they bullied them.
This is outrageous. Which room is it in? I'll remove the wound for you.
I pointed, bang bang bang, and I walked towards that house, and I said, is it you? You come out to spend money and you don’t give me money? What kind of place is this? This is a place for jokes, can you come out without money? You are of a very serious nature.
Gave the money."
"What did he say."
"No!
What can you do to me?"
"It's really awesome."
"Oh, let me tell you, I am from the underworld, are you really not going to give it to me?
I really don’t give it.
Well, if you don’t give it, you won’t give it. It’s good for us to make friends.”
"Have you made friends?"
"If you have anything to do in the future, just mention me!
The man was happy, eh, this sounds like a human saying.
What do you call eldest brother?
My name is Luan Yunping! They all call me Luan Yunping!"
"Fuck you!
”
……
In the end, there was still a push to follow. The two people bowed on the stage and took three steps back to prepare to leave the stage. At the same time, the applause at the Beizhan Theater continued.
However, the two people did not return.
For a big scene like unboxing, the main thing is for the master and the others to return, and then ask the disciples to come up and show themselves when they return.
We waited until the final curtain call before we came together to chat.
As for the next program, Elder Deyun and Teacher Gao Feng will perform. After the performance, it will be a gathering of the master and the uncle.
But when Qi Yuncheng went down, he was preparing things with his brothers. After all, the audience usually gave a lot of gifts, so it was normal for them to prepare some.
Not to mention that it was the day when he and Song Yi received their certificates, so he was in a state of excitement, and everything he did in this state was easy.
Even Luan Yunping felt that her partner seemed to be a different person, because he usually didn't play around with Xiaoyue and the others.
"How many preparations have you made?"
"Anyway, people of all ages bought it, so they just throw it away after the curtain call?"
"Throw it away, it will scare everyone anyway."
"Okay!"
After a few discussions, a lot of things were piled up on the table backstage, and everyone began to wait slowly for the rest of the day. Of course, some people were not excluded from stealing food.
Time passes like this minute by minute.
When the master came on stage to tell jokes, a group of fellow apprentices came up in the background to wait for the time, when the dolls and the encore jokes were all finished.
Guo Degang also couldn't wait to speak on the stage, "I looked at some of the children in the side curtain and were stunned. Let them come out first."
The words were like a force that loosened a tight string, and the people on the side curtain missed their arrows. In an instant, hundreds of people rushed over from the side curtain.
The moment I rushed out, there were footsteps and figures running around everywhere, and I no longer took my usual bow.
Because of this, the audience below was instantly ignited.
Because the audience could clearly see them holding large bags of candy in their hands. After placing them on the table, many actors ran to the front of the stage and sprinkled and threw them as hard as they could.
Xiaoyue, Kong Yunlong, Dalin, Zhang Helun, Meng Hetang, these people are all frontline personnel, and even Luan Yunping is happy to help. Yuncheng is happy to get his marriage certificate.
Brothers for many years.
Not to mention Qi Yuncheng, he was also standing at the front of the stage, but he was really too flustered, and a lot of sweetness between the brothers might have leaked on the stage.
He picked it up nearby, but it would be somewhat inappropriate to pick it up and give it directly to the audience, so Qi Yuncheng stood aside and ate one himself before quickly passing it to the audience who rushed to the stage.
For a time, Beizhan Theater could be said to be completely crazy.
As for the moment the old couple came out from the children, they were like mice seeing a cat. They all hid aside. It was so crazy and they were running around. How could they get involved?
However, the old couple looked at each other, but they were both happy. They opened the box and Yuncheng received the certificate. No matter how lively it was, it was not lively.
And just when everyone was lively and agitated, Song Yi in the front row also wanted to stand up and go over.
But she was stopped by her parents in an instant. There were so many people, and she was afraid that she would be crowded. "What are you going to do? Are you trying to grab your own wedding candy?"
"I want to eat."
"Don't you have one?"
"I've finished eating."
Just as he was talking, Qi Yuncheng suddenly came down from the stage. The moment he came down, it actually didn't matter, because all the brothers came to the stage, and he was just one of them.
After coming down, he gave a handful to Song Yi and his parents, and told his wife, "Eat less! Your tooth hurts if you eat too much."
"Oh." Song Yi couldn't stop laughing as he took the thing from him, but it didn't matter even if the audience saw it, because they all thought it was an actor giving it to the audience casually.
Who would have thought that the real person getting married is below.
When the last big bag of Shengsheng was finished, Guo De had to return to the microphone just now, "Okay! Pay attention to safety and don't be caught by the audience. These women below are very crazy."
The lively and crazy atmosphere gradually settled down, and a group of people obediently returned behind Guo Degang and Yu Qian.
"Thank you all for coming today. As for why the children were making trouble just now, I also said that Yuncheng received the certificate today. I don't know why I am so happy to receive the certificate."
Yu Qian smiled and added, "The child is still young, so he doesn't know that hard times are still to come."
"That's right! It has to be experienced, but it's quite emotional." Guo Degang gestured at the height, "Yuncheng was still a young boy when he came, and now he is married in the blink of an eye.
It’s not easy. After more than 20 years, I can be considered an adult and establish a career.
Backstage just now, I remembered who had the happiest time eating sweets.
Xiaoyue!
”
When his name was called, Yue Yunpeng walked up while eating, but when he walked up to the microphone, he didn't have time to speak because he had been chewing. Seeing him like that, Guo Degang, Yu Qian and the audience below all burst into laughter.
Finally, after finally swallowing it, Yue Yunpeng said happily: "Brother is really popular. The candy he bought is better than the one I bought when I got married. It's just a little uncomfortable. I almost died of boredom after eating ten in one bite."
"Oh, you idiot! You haven't seen anything good." Guo Degang waved his hand for Yue Yunpeng to get down, and then asked the owner to come between the two of them.
"Let's talk about it, how do you feel, and what do you plan to do in the future?"
Qi Yuncheng couldn't say anything for a while, "What else can I do, just live a good life."
"It was difficult even for you at that time."
Suddenly Guo Degang remembered something and immediately started to complain to the audience: "You may not know that Yuncheng's wife once cooked at our house.
It was his wife who liked it and said to cook it. What else could I think of? I want to try my daughter’s craftsmanship. She came from Hubei.
Finally, my daughter brought out the dishes, which were so salty for me. Then I went back to the kitchen and saw that half of the salt I just bought was empty. The key was that she fried a dish."
Yu Qian could understand this feeling, so he said sadly, "This is also the first time my daughter has killed someone, so she left some evidence."
Hahahaha!
As soon as this sentence came out, the whole theater went crazy laughing for no reason.
The uncle is truly worthy of being an uncle. Everyone was so happy with his words of praise, and even several of the brothers next to him laughed so hard that they could hardly breathe, and the smiles were not missed even by a millimeter.
And after the old couple teased their daughter, they really stopped being outsiders.
In the midst of laughter, Guo Degang let out a breath and was happy for the child, "You are having an easy life anyway. Whenever you have a child in the future, you will have to give him a sweet name, otherwise it will be too much for you alone.
Forget it, come on, see if you want to sing more today."
Qi Yuncheng stood between the master and the uncle, not knowing what to sing. He was happy and could only ask the audience, "What do you want to hear?"