Chapter 373 Butterfly or leopard print? Whose pants are these?
"Turn around and leave!
”
"Ah?" Luan Yunping said in surprise on the stage, "You just heard one sentence and left?"
Qi Yuncheng said confidently, "I didn't understand a word of it, and it would be worse if I heard too much. We have to think about whether all this is for the rope. Oh, this sentence is worth the money."
"Yeah?"
"Go out and ride your bicycle to the airport service road to return the car."
"Go back."
"I asked my classmate if he could give me a watermelon, but he said no."
"Are you still discussing this with others?"
"I laughed." Qi Yuncheng touched his heart and muttered, "We have to think about whether all this is for the rope."
Luan Yunping waved her hand, "Learn and apply."
"You see, this is enough, three subway trips, four bus trips, and going back. From now on, I will become a master. I can't waste time, especially in a good place like Yanjing.
, I study hard.
After walking around, we reached Xizhimen Bridge.
Standing on the Xizhimen Bridge, I felt very emotional."
"What?"
Qi Yuncheng's expression suddenly changed, he looked down and cursed: "How do you get down here?"
"Harm!
You've fainted."
When Luan Yunping spoke, there was a lot of laughter below, which was a bit of a burden.
Qi Yuncheng leaned on the table and frowned, "I'm still very young. I can't die on Xizhimen Bridge. Who designed this thing??"
"I can't go down anymore."
"How did I get up here?"
"That's right."
Qi Yuncheng gestured up and down with his fingers, and took a breath, looking very tired, "After a day and a half, I finally came down."
"Well, I almost died there."
"Later I walked to Xuanwumen, this place is called Caishikou. I was particularly moved that many masters died here."
"Tell me something." Luan Yunping passed the words down.
Qi Yuncheng said: "It was originally a place of execution. All the Six Gentlemen of Wuxu died here, and Yu Qian also died here."
"Who said that??"
Hearing that something was wrong, Luan Yunping stopped in a panic and her voice became louder, "Is it a bit mysterious? Uncle Yu Qianyu told you that he died there? Is the third show still theirs?"
"That's wrong!" Qi Yuncheng put his hands into his sleeves and wondered, "Uncle Yu told me that he died there."
"Uncle Yu told you that he died there? What's the idea?"
"What is this rope for?"
"I think you've fainted from school."
Taking his hands out of his sleeves, Qi Yuncheng looked at the dark audience below and returned to the topic, "Standing at Caishikou, I am still very emotional. The cultural atmosphere is very strong."
"Why is it so rich again?" Luan Yunping never understood her partner's words.
"So many people died here, the essence of heaven and earth, I slowly knelt down."
"You?"
"Kneel down in the middle of the road, and everyone praises me."
"How to say?"
"You are sick!
”
Luan Yunping stretched out her hand and asked, "Is this a compliment to you?"
Qi Yuncheng raised his hand and pointed forward and stepped on the spot, "Stand up and walk forward, walk around and reach the front door again. I like it here, I like these traditional ancient buildings, I like these seven or eight
An alley."
"Jiyuan?"
"I was standing in the alley and suddenly a strong wind blew, and a butterfly fell on my head. What a beautiful butterfly." Qi Yuncheng took a deep breath and slowly took it off his head.
His expression changed, "Butterfly or leopard print? Whose pants are these???"
Hahahaha!
In the theater of Fog City, laughter once again filled the air.
At the same time, Luan Yunping couldn't talk about this matter anymore, "You can see it clearly before you speak."
Qi Yuncheng lowered his head, holding his pants with both hands, his expression continuing to be confused, "You gave me a special gift in such a special place, am I going to have bad luck?"
"Oh, how arrogant, that's called love luck."
"I don't care. I'll put my pants on and I'll ask you and your wife what they think about this matter."
"Ask both of us?"
"Luan Yunping! Axe! Are you at home?"
"Axe? My wife's name is this? It seems like your wife is still a best friend."
"Luan Duo Duo!
As soon as the door opened, I took out the flowers and butterflies."
After Qi Yuncheng finished speaking on the stage, he immediately picked up the handkerchief and shook it off, "I want to ask you two, is there any sign of this butterfly falling from the sky? You know better, analyze it for me."
"Stop shaking it blindly." Luan Yunping quickly snatched back the shaken white handkerchief and put it back properly.
"Luan Yunping said that I can't analyze it. I'll take you to find an expert. There is a master of fortune telling at the entrance of the alley."
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"Oh, is there a master there?"
"Luan Yunping led me out and turned the corner to a century-old store with the four characters "Happiness Supermarket" written on it."
"Is this a century-old store?" Luan Yunping complained as she listened.
Qi Yuncheng nodded firmly and began to make square gestures, "There is a big advertising sign at the door: fortune telling, shoe repair and key."
"Master is omnipotent?"
"I sat face to face with the master. The master said to pay one hundred yuan first. I gave him one hundred yuan, and the master held it up and looked at it."
"I'm afraid it's fake."
"Okay, the master has spoken." Qi Yuncheng turned to one side and changed roles, "Have you heard that human life is divided into metal, wood, water, fire and earth? For example, the life of a scale is iron, the dustpan is earth, the toilet is water, and the chimney is
Fire life is different anyway.
Judging from your face, you are going to lose money today."
"Is this obvious?"
"At least one hundred yuan was lost!
”
After saying this, Qi Yuncheng looked like a fool on the stage and couldn't believe it, "God? How could he know that?"
"How fresh you give it to others!
"Luan Yunping couldn't stand it anymore and pointed it out angrily.
"Master, look at my future.
The master spoke: Where do you plan to go now?
I want to go home.
Go home!
Thank you!
”
"It's over??"
"Stand up and walk back, Luan Yunping follows, and we look at each other."
Qi Yuncheng, who was behind the microphone, paused in his words and pointed down, "There is a step next to me. I sat on the step and lit a cigarette. After smoking for twenty minutes, I asked, have we been fooled?"
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Luan Yunping was speechless: "Then you have been fooled."
"Luan Yunping nodded, yes! Let's beat him. Let's catch the master when we come back and beat him up! It's so wicked. You dare to lie to me, which means that my partner and I are smart."
"Both of us are not much smarter."
"Hit the butt so hard that all the brains were knocked out."
"Okay, the brains are in your butt."
"If I don't give you a green shi today, it means you haven't eaten leeks."
"What word? This is it, you can think of it."
It was so disgusting that Luan Yunping almost lost her guard next to her, not to mention the audience below who kept laughing.
Qi Yuncheng sneered, and started with bared teeth and claws, "Punching from above, kicking from below, the beating made the master tremble. Although the beating was satisfying, Iron Hammer criticized me after coming back, because I was too impulsive."
"You can't hit people."
"She educated me and I was very inspired. I must work hard to become a great person, so I decided to visit the old Sai Jinhua office site again."
"You hang around here?"
"An acquaintance comes from across the street?"
"Who is it?"
Qi Yuncheng said: "The master of fortune-telling, pushing the cart has changed to collecting waste."
"Changed career?"
"Watch him while walking, but why is he pushing so slowly? Hey, why are you pushing so slowly?"
"He said?"
"A new car is broken in!"
"I've never heard of a trolley running in." Luan Yunping quickly added with a wave of her hand.
"I didn't care about him, but then someone called me."
"Who is it?"
"There is a small room next to me. I lit a small pink lamp and a woman called me."
Qi Yuncheng immediately leaned back, beckoning constantly, and at the same time changed his tone, "Sir, come in and sit down for a while! She called me in."
"Really?"
"Let's chat! You sound like a southerner when you speak.
Yes, Xiansen is sitting here, where can you make a fortune?
Me?"
Suddenly Qi Yuncheng glanced at his partner and said, "I definitely can't say I'm young."
Luan Yunping was confused, "Are you going to tell the big boys?"
"Of course, I...I am a university tutor.
Oh, are you a loser?"
"This is all a mess."
Hahahaha!
Amid laughter, Qi Yuncheng quickly waved his hand, "Teacher!
A loser?"
"They've got it right."
"I felt like we couldn't talk to her anymore, so I changed my question and asked, you are a southerner, can you accept the climate in the north?
It’s not good, the climate in the north is too dry, the wind blows often, and my underwear hanging outside was blown away that day.”
"Ouch!
It's hers."
Suddenly the truth was revealed. Luan Yunping was holding the table and was so surprised that Qi Yuncheng quickly pretended to zip up his pockets for fear of being discovered.
"You still have it with you?" Luan Yunping looked at his face and immediately added.
After he finished pulling, Qi Yuncheng returned to his smile happily, "The two of us were chatting, and suddenly we turned around and looked through the window. A policeman came outside, followed by a master pushing a trolley.
Is this a report? How did Master figure out that I am here?"
"Nonsense, I saw you going in."
"Broken!"
The more Qi Yuncheng talked, the more panicked he became. He put his hands on the buttons of his coat and shouted, "Quick, quick, quick, let's pack it up quickly. As soon as I unbuttoned it, she also unbuttoned it! I was so frightened that I couldn't unbutton it!
I understand!
Quick, perm my hair quickly, like Yu Qian’s perm you had last time.”
Luan Yunping: "Huo oh, how long did it take Uncle Yu to go there?"
Qi Yuncheng: "Xiansen, the hair ironing instrument was burned by that uncle!
”
Luan Yunping: "Okay, uncle, how did you get this hot?"
Qi Yuncheng: "How about shaving? Are you good at shaving? Here is a basin. Grab some soap suds and put it on your face. Quick, get the knife.
There’s no razor! Sir, there’s only a kitchen knife!
That's okay, she just took a kitchen knife and scratched my face.
I was sitting and when the door opened, the police uncle and the master came in."
With his hands behind his back, Qi Yuncheng became the policeman again. He lowered his head and asked, "What are you doing?
Uncle policeman, it’s nothing, just wash your hair and shave your face, it’s okay to be a little unlucky.
Then why is there blood on your clothes?"
"Huh?" Luan Yunping's eyes widened when she heard it.
Qi Yuncheng swallowed, wiped his face with his hand and then wiped it on his coat, "This is the year of your life!
”
"Damn it, bleeding in your zodiac year?"
"Honestly, what are you two doing?
Uncle policeman, what do you think I can do? She is regular. Look how shabby she looks, like a sweet potato that fell on the ground and was stepped on with a nail shoe.
Is it true?
That's, eh, by the way, Comrade Police, this man stole my trolley.
How do you know?
If you don’t believe me, ask him why he pushes so slowly, and he will definitely say it’s because of the running-in.
When the police asked, the master said they were getting along, and the two chased each other."
"I have no choice but to chase after you." After a conversation, Luan Yunping finally said something.
"As soon as they left, I finally felt relieved. I said put down the knife. She was holding the knife... You are such a scumbag!"
"What's wrong?"
"When you said something about me just now, I wanted to chop you into pieces.
I said don’t do this, don’t you think about it? Is all this just for the rope?”
"It's so bad. Do you use this everywhere?"
"I just asked her in one sentence. She was stupid with a knife. Where did you see my husband?"
Luan Yunping was also dumbfounded next to her partner, "What's going on?"
Qi Yuncheng: "You are plagiarizing my husband's words."
Luan Yunping: "Good guy!"
Qi Yuncheng covered his face and said, "I'll go out and buy band-aids quickly. The bleeding can't be stopped. I found a drug store nearby. Three boxes of band-aids didn't stick."
"Too big."
"The lady who sells medicine is very happy. Why don't you buy a pack for night use?"
Hahahahaha!
The young and old men as well as the women and girls below all know this thing is for night use, but they can’t imagine it sticking to their face.
As a partner, Luan Yunping still has to talk more, "That won't work."
"Yes, I'm afraid that the blood will be sucked dry."
"Hurry up and say something serious, I'm almost going to report you."
This sentence was definitely added on the spot. Qi Yuncheng turned to look at his partner and did not answer his words. He just made a look of contempt with his eyes, "What I thought was serious. After I got home, I couldn't sleep all night.
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I think I can’t die because I am so young. If I die from excessive blood loss, there will be a lot of work that I haven’t done yet.”
"What else can you do?"
"In the past, it was said that civil servants died for the sake of dedication, military generals died for the sake of devotion, and sons died for the sake of filial piety. It was said that cross talkers died because they could not sell tickets."
"Stop talking about this."
"I can't die. I have a lot of abilities. Give me three thousand city administrators and I can conquer the island country."
"Good guy, you are better than Master."
"Okay!
”
Quack, quack, quack, quack!
When I mentioned something happy, the audience was very happy and everyone applauded.
"Give me a hundred cross talkers and give you world peace."
"You have chosen the elite."
"If one day I am the master of the island country..."
"What do you want to do? Don't think too hard and restrain your desires."
"I can watch whatever short movies I want."
Thought she could do anything, Luan Yunping shook her head instantly, "That's all you pursue."
"I feel happy just thinking about it. I stayed in the lake until dawn, and someone banged on the door. Who is it? Me, Luan Da Da Da!"
"Why am I here?"
"Open the door and the couple comes in. Your wife is very angry. Tell her about him. He is having an affair."
"Me?"
"Luan Yunping, your wife is so kind to you, but you are still having an affair?"
"What did I say?"
"Hey, we just met casually, but we have been in love for a long time."
"What word is this?" Luan Yunping quickly corrected, "As time goes by, love grows."
"Yes! Is it an idiom? Do you feel in love after a long time?"
"Can you please stop adding that word?"
"Yo?" Qi Yuncheng suddenly turned around and smiled, "Why don't you talk about cross talk and enjoy it?"
Hahahahaha!
After a series of events, the two actors did not know how many things they had ridiculed. Luan Yunping also laughed and took a breath, "Who wouldn't be happy?"
"Anyway, you're in love. It's outrageous for me to say this. Take me to find that woman. You go ahead and I'll follow. I got here in a roundabout way. I knocked on the door and the woman came out with her skills.
If you say something to me, I will turn around and run away."
"What did she say?"
"You are such a loser!"
"Emotions are waiting for you!"
……
The cross talk ended.
The two people bowed and left the stage.
The theater instantly burst into applause.
It’s almost the same as when I was on stage, there are all kinds of sounds.
Applause, applause, and cheers can all be heard clearly on the stage.
So after the host took a look at the time, he quickly asked the actors to go back and sing again. Most of the encores were mainly about chatting and speaking in this dialect.
In order to get closer to the audience.
Wait until the encore is over.
Teacher Gao’s program was second to none.
And a performance is like this sometimes, it ends quickly as it goes on.
Because two or three hours can easily pass by without paying attention, not to mention that it is a pleasant place to listen to cross talk.
When we go backstage.
Qi Yuncheng and the others are just passing the time for today's performance. As long as Teacher Gao finishes the second set and Master and Uncle save their last, today's performance will be fast.
But at this time.
There was movement on his cell phone, it was a video invitation from his wife.
When I picked it up, I was shocked.
Because the faces of Song Yi and Shi Niang were both in the camera, less than half a second after they appeared, a familiar voice came from the mobile phone, "How are you, Yuncheng? How is the performance? Can you catch up when you go back today?"
"Well, I thought it was almost done, so I asked my daughter to make a video call for you."
The backstage area is not small, but the sound from the mobile phone is still the same, and there is no unfamiliar sound.
Xiao Yue and other senior brothers who came to join the actors gathered around. Even Guo Degang, who was sitting aside and resting, knew about it, but did not go there. He just watched the children interact with their seniors.
"Hello, wife! Hello, sister-in-law!"
"Master's wife! Sister-in-law!"
……
Each of the fellow apprentices shouted, "Master's wife, it's okay," but Song Yi didn't know what to say after hearing so many calls about sister-in-law.
Who said that my husband was the first batch of disciples under the master, and all the fellow disciples had to call her that after that?
Just looking at it, Qi Yuncheng discovered something was wrong. The background was at his own home, but there were an unknown number of shopping bags on the table at home, more than a dozen.
"What are you doing?"
Song Yi was happy when talking about this, "Hubby, my wife took me shopping today and bought some random things."
"I bought some casually. Did you ask your wife to buy it from the supermarket? A dozen bags?"
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Please remember the domain name of this book:. Novels of Strange People of the Republic of China