"Thank you for your applause. It's the day of the performance again. I'm very excited every time I see my friends in the audience." On the stage, the actor said the opening words as usual, "Unknowingly, there have been several episodes of Douxia Club."
"Yes! Time flies very quickly." Luan Yunping chatted casually to the person next to her.
"But today we're going to talk about something different."
"say what?"
"This issue is special because the uncle is not here."
"Yes, it may be quite busy."
"The principle of our cross talk is to talk about whoever is absent, so today we will talk about the day of Uncle Yu's father!!"
Audience: "Okay!!!"
Everyone below was unhappy when they heard about the uncle's father.
Because they all came here after hearing stories from Uncle Yu and his father, this kind of story structure is actually more interesting than traditional cross talk.
There was so much commotion at the scene. Qi Yuncheng didn't expect it when he was standing on the stage. Since he liked it so much, he would start.
At this time, Luan Yunping asked, "Where to start?"
Holding out two fingers, Qi Yuncheng said, "Starting at two o'clock in the morning."
"The old man is a nocturnal animal."
"At two o'clock in the morning, Yu Qian's father, Mr. Yu, carried a shovel and robbed Dongling at night!!"
"Okay, you are so powerful right from the beginning." Luan Yunping was a little surprised.
"I dug in with the shovel and didn't ask for anything. I just asked for a coffin, made of golden nanmu. I asked Mr. Yu to get this coffin as a family heirloom. It has been used as a standing cabinet all these years."
"I'm just telling you why I was so weird when I went home last time."
"The coffin was brought back and packed and set up. The old man was in a happy mood, packed some clothes, and went to the gym at three o'clock in the morning to pimp out the coffin."
As soon as he said this, the audience was all happy. Only Luan Yunping had a strange expression and stopped her, "Is this all nonsense? That's not called pimping, that's called a back-puller."
Qi Yuncheng nodded confusedly, "I don't understand anyway. As long as Mr. Yu enters the gym, he will know these people."
"Are they all familiar?"
"Hey, this fat guy!" Qi Yuncheng raised his hand and hit the person, then turned around and said happily, "Big guy, practice hard.
Ouch, the young man’s chest muscles have been trained well.”
Qi Yuncheng suddenly slapped her twice, but the next second he said, "Uncle, I am a woman."
Ha ha ha ha!
Amid laughter, Luan Yunping complained, "I suspected he did it on purpose."
"What a lovely old man."
"How cute is that? Either she has bad eyesight or she's acting like a hooligan."
"Let's practice." Qi Yuncheng turned to one side and stretched out his hands to practice the back puller. "The old man started working out and kept working out until he had something to do at four o'clock in the morning."
"whats the matter?"
"Taking a bath, that's what old Yanjing people like."
"That's true."
"Old man, people with status and status must wash their hair and water when taking a bath. What do you mean by washing their hair? If someone has been in there before, they won't wash it. It's too dirty."
"Be particular about it."
"So I have to go at four o'clock in the morning. When I get to the entrance of Tsinghua Pool, this..." Qi Yuncheng came up with a character show again, pointing his hand slightly down, "Make some cold water, this doesn't work, then mix in some hot water."
Luan Yunping said: "Look, the cold and hot spots are not allowed, how strict the requirements are."
"When the water temperature is right, the old man told me that the bathhouse operator will open the door and let the guests in."
"Okay, I'm here to test the water, not take a bath."
Qi Yuncheng continued to praise, "Old Yanjing people are very particular."
"What's the point?" Luan Yunping was speechless behind the table.
"At five o'clock, it's time to have breakfast. I'm hungry after all the work."
"Yes, what to eat?"
"Have some of that large intestine sashimi."
"Good guy! Are you eating raw food?"
"The pigs are being slaughtered now. The pigs are all tied up. They are stepping on the pigs and holding a knife!"
Qi Yuncheng stepped forward with his right foot and pushed down hard. He held the folding fan on the table in his hand and was about to push it down at any time. But he turned around and asked, "How are you, old man? Do you want to eat? Do you want to eat?"
Mr. Yu nodded: Yes!!"
Qi Yuncheng raised the knife and stabbed it down, "Pfft, the butcher kills the pig and pours out the pig's intestines. Instead of pouring out all of it, pour out one end and hand it to Mr. Yu."
Luan Yunping was a little confused here, "Why did you hand him the bill?"
"Old man, hold this end tightly and squeak!!"
"Suck?" After Luan Yunping suddenly realized it, she didn't want to look at her partner's appearance, and turned her face to the other side, "I have never heard of it. Sucking the intestines is not eating breakfast, but eating pig shit."
Hahahahaha!
There was endless laughter below. Guo Qiling, who was sitting in the last row, was naturally laughing too much. I didn’t expect to be able to play together like this. I really like to play together.
As for the second studio, Gao Feng, who was already a little bald, looked at the big screen and said, "It must be Yuncheng's troublesome job."
"No, but Xiao Luan cooperates quite well."
"Okay, I'll add one point here."
The two people were judging the scores. On the stage, the amused person looked at Pengnan and said, "I'm not as disgusting as you."
"Nonsense, isn't that what you said?"
"This is breakfast at five o'clock, and at six o'clock..."
"I've been chewing for an hour!" Luan Yunping said with her words, and laughter suddenly appeared below, and she could imagine the scene of exerting herself.
"Going home at six o'clock, the old man hired four maids to serve him, white chrysanthemums, pink chrysanthemums, green chrysanthemums, and red chrysanthemums."
"Why do you call me such names?"
"This is all the experience of the old man for many years."
"Then what did you go through to get these names?"
Ha ha ha ha!
Luan Yunping's words came out with laughter again, and as soon as he said it, Qi Yuncheng almost broke his guard. He couldn't help being happy and nodded at him with his finger, "If you say it again, it won't be broadcast."
"This part of our program has to be cut."
Qi Yuncheng was very helpless. He always felt that his partner had become more and more playful around him in recent years, but that's right, the style of his partner in this life was completely different.
But they are recording a program, and recording programs cannot be like playing in a small theater and returning to the topic in a funny way.
"The old man asked four maids to pluck out his gray hair."
"You still have to pull out your gray hair?" Luan Yunping finally said her words.
"As I get older, I'm more concerned about it. I'm afraid there will be gray hairs. I can't tolerate any of them. The maid is standing here looking for them."
Qi Yuncheng's expression and posture were performed vividly. He put his hands on the old man's head to look for white hair. When he found it, he suddenly pinched it with the thumb and index finger of his right hand and suddenly pushed forward with his left hand.
Luan Yunping was startled by this action, and her voice became much louder, "Pushing the head? I haven't heard of pulling out the hair and pushing the head. If you want your hair to be longer, you also push it somersault, right?"
"The key is that the four maids stand on four sides."
Qi Yuncheng was very busy next. Behind the microphone, he stood in front, back, left, and right, pulling out hair and pushing his head. This scene made the audience laugh out loud.
"Mr. Yu is here."
Qi Yuncheng suddenly stopped and shook his head left and right. Luan Yunping shook her head when she saw it, "It's a rattle instead."
"After a while, I finished pulling out all the white hair. When I looked in the mirror, I saw that I had been demoted."
"Why have you been demoted?"
"Cheng Guo Degang."
Luan Yunping understood what was going on and admitted, "It's not like I've pulled out all my hair in an hour."
"At seven o'clock, the old man looked beautiful, he had eaten, and his hair was no longer gray. It happened that the morning sun came out, so he immediately went out to stand on the street."
"Just wait for a while, the old man is not in good health."
The laughter from the previous second had not completely subsided, and now it is coming again. Not to mention other people, even Luan Yunping couldn't help it and kept suppressing her laughter. "What on earth are you going to do at such an old age?"
"No." Qi Yuncheng waved his hand and explained clearly, "I'm not standing in the house on the street. I'm standing on the street."
"That's called sunbathing."
"Take a book in the sun." He spread his right hand with his palm facing up. Qi Yuncheng read it with gusto, "The book is bound with thread. The old man stood at the entrance of the alley, shaking his head."
"Yes, the four maids are here to pull out his hair again."
"Looking at it, I suddenly felt bad."
"how?"
"I'm feeling sleepy."
"Yes." Luan Yunping agreed, "You're a tomb robber and a pimp. You got up too early."
"Let's take a nap. I'll go back to the house to sleep at eight o'clock, but as soon as I lay down, I feel sleepy again."
"Sometimes that's the case."
"I heard that eating croton before going to bed can help you sleep."
Luan Yunping looked like she couldn't believe it, "Who told me this?"
"The old man was so obedient. He ate crotons and slept until nine o'clock when he opened his eyes... Huo oh!!!"
Qi Yuncheng suddenly made a big move behind the microphone, looking down as if he saw something extraordinary, and he knew what it was without having to explain it.
Extremely happy.
Luan Yunping immediately stood aside and said, "It's so disgusting."
"On this kang, my family lives on Loess Plateau~~"
"Stop singing." Peng Kui stood beside him and held him down desperately.
"Wash up. After washing, it's time to go to work at this time. It's a nine-to-five job."
"Yes! But where does the old man work?"
Qi Yuncheng exchanged glances with the audience below, because they were all familiar with each other, "We all know this, Mr. Yu is the naval commander of the Menggu Kingdom."
"This is ridiculous." Luan Yunping must have known this, but she still had to look through things, "Is there a sea in Menggu? Just the Navy Commander?"
"The king of Menggu Kingdom has said that he will take office as soon as he finds someone."
"Okay, I have to be idle for the rest of my life."
"I'm hungry after working until 12 noon, so I call outside myself."
"The old man is quite fashionable."
Qi Yuncheng put his hand next to his ear and said: "Hey, bring me a pizza. It will be delivered in a while. The delivery boy asked me, can you cut it for you? Should it be cut into eight or twelve pieces?"
"Ask how to cut it."
"Mr. Yu is happy, cut it into eight pieces."
"Why?"
"You can't eat for twelve yuan."
Ha ha ha ha!
Although these things have been said before, it is still fun to say them again, and Luan Yunping's cooperation has always been good, "Silly boy, this is..."
"Have a rest after eating pizza. Once you've rested, you'll be ready to take a nap at one o'clock. You need to drink some milk before taking a nap."
"Some people have this habit."
"Drink some pig milk."
The more she spoke, the more outrageous she became. Luan Yunping had a weird expression and looked at her partner without speaking. Qi Yuncheng also looked at him, "What's wrong? With this expression."
"It's not good to drink cow's milk and goat's milk, but pig's milk?"
Qi Yuncheng himself had a legitimate reason, "So the old man drank milk, didn't he get hurt afterwards?"
Luan Yunping: "How can you get hurt if you drink milk?"
Qi Yuncheng: "The cow sat down after drinking half of it."
Luan Yunping: "Did you put it under the cow's belly and drink it?"
Qi Yuncheng: "Yes, I drink pig milk while lying on the pig's belly, even when I'm awake and asleep, and then I drink it with the other guys."
Luan Yunping: "How can there be so many little brothers?"
Qi Yuncheng: "I drank pig milk and went to bed. I slept very comfortably. I slowly opened my eyes and woke up and went to find the radio."
"Oh, want to listen to the radio?"
Qi Yuncheng continued from behind the microphone while his hands kept moving, "Turn on the switch, adjust the channel, and the sound of the radio station came out.
After a while, the call came from the enthusiastic audience. Mr. Yu was very excited and took his mobile phone to call."
"This is interaction." Luan Yunping said as she spoke.
"Hello!" Qi Yuncheng bent down and held his cell phone to talk to the other party, "Is it me? Oh, it's me, thank you, but the call came in. I've been calling since I was young. I'm 81 this year.
Years old."
"Have you been fighting for the rest of your life?"
"I am an old Yanjing man. My surname is Yu. My son is Yu Qian, who speaks cross talk. They all call me Uncle Yu.
Oh, hello, Uncle Yu, what can I do for you?
I want to ask, does that passion always start in the latter part of the night?"
Ha ha ha ha!
With a bang, the whole small theater was filled with joy. How could anyone who knew De Yun not know this part?
Even when the thing came out, Luan Yunping almost couldn't help it. Even though the words were due to each other, at the same time, the atmosphere in the theater was completely lifted today.
It’s impossible to stop everyone’s smiling faces.
No matter if you are young or old.
Because they knew jokes and studied radio, but they never expected to be included in this. It was a very unexpected and pleasant surprise.
But their performance wasn't over yet, they were listening to the radio at two o'clock in the afternoon.
So Qi Yuncheng continued to tell the story of Mr. Yu's day.
Finally, the clock came at eight o'clock in the evening.
"At eight o'clock, the old man had a sudden impulse and went to the river for a swim."
"You still swim at night?"
"Look." Qi Yuncheng was particularly impressed, "The old man is so awesome and has a colorful life. He even called over old ladies who danced in the square.
Come and watch me swim."
"What's there to see?"
Qi Yuncheng stretched out his hand and kept soliciting, "The old ladies are here. They all sat down to see Mr. Yu swimming, and Mr. Yu started to take off his clothes.
Naked!"
"They're naked." Luan Yunping pointed at people everywhere behind the cross talk table, "In public."
Qi Yuncheng put his hand on his back, "It's not because I'm naked, it's because I want them to see the tattoo on my back.
Mr. Yu has a hairtail tattooed on his back from his neck to his heel.
So he had to get naked."
Luan Yunping frowned here and asked her doubts, "Why did you take off all your clothes? At least leave a pair of underwear."
"A hairtail fish doesn't look good in underpants."
"Hey, then take off your clothes."
As soon as Luan Yunping gave in, Qi Yuncheng continued to speak, "Old man Yu jumped into the water with a splash, and swam in the water. He was so good and so alive."
"That means your skills are good." Luan Yunping added slowly.
"But every time I swim, I have to have someone bring me a net."
"The tattoo on the back looks so real."
"After picking it up, Mr. Yu was very tired. When he turned back and walked to the shore, he found that the old ladies had also left, not looking at him or playing with him.
Feeling discouraged, go home and take a rest. When you get home at nine o'clock, you will lie on the bed. Mr. Yu will close his eyes first and go through the memories in his mind."
Combining the jokes told along the way, Luan Yunping took a deep breath and said, "These memories are enough to see."
"Today I robbed a tomb, pimped, took a shower, ate large intestine sashimi for breakfast, slept on crotons, etc. It was quite beautiful."
"What's so beautiful about this? Think of something else."
"Anyway, memories like this are very exciting to think about."
Luan Yunping looked at Qi Yuncheng seriously and said, "Can this be exciting?"
"I couldn't sleep, so I took a sleeping pill to sleep, and finally fell asleep. I slept soundly."
"It's just over this day."
"Suddenly!" Qi Yuncheng changed his words and spoke faster, "At two o'clock in the middle of the night, Mr. Yu jumped out of bed like a carp."
"What's this for?"
"Passion always starts in the middle of the night!!!"
"Go to hell!"
Hahahahaha!
Accompanied by the sound of laughter and words, the crosstalk between the two actors ended, and many people clapped their thighs and laughed.
Reasonable, unexpected baggage.
"I asked why you got up in the middle of the night and kept thinking about it, old man."
"The old man had a more wonderful day than others all year."
“A busy and fulfilling day! I’m so happy.”
"Only Qi Yuncheng can think about these things, but this is really fun. Will there be another version next time? Mr. Yu has not only done these things."