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Chapter 128 I would rather you die

 She caught a pair of dark cloth boots at the corner of her eyes. A man stretched out his big hand with long white fingers and blue veins on the back of his hand, which looked extremely powerful and helped her pick up the book.

She raised her head and stood up slowly, with a surprised expression on her beautiful face.

Kalki, wearing the robe of Plato's knight, stood in front of her.

Everything was the same as before. He was wearing a clean light indigo blue double-breasted robe, but his blond hair was combed into a bun and tied on top of his head, as if he had traveled from ancient times.

Unlike the bearded head of Plato's diplomatic corps who was wearing a gorgeous ceremonial uniform at the reception, today he was clean-shaven, fair-faced, and looked young and handsome, just like in her dream.

He handed the book to her, and she took it with slightly trembling hands, then held the big book in her hands.

She still looks so cute and energetic, with her long black hair combed into two braids hanging down her shoulders, and wearing a plaid kerchief hat. Xuanji has always been the kind of girl that young men dream of, with her pure and beautiful face shining brightly.

A pair of clear and innocent eyes, an elegant figure, and tall legs. She is like the freshest rain, clean and fresh, with a unique chill.

Everything was silent, as if they had traveled through millions of light years before standing in front of each other.

"Xuanji, this time I came here specially to say goodbye to you." He spoke to break the embarrassing silence.

"In three hours, Plato's fleet will all set off and leave the Star City. This is the last time we see each other, and I will never come back. I don't want your hurried back that night to be the last time we see each other.

Memories..."

Kalki's voice is still so nice, with a little deep voice. His Platonic pronunciation is elegant and his grammar is beautiful, like a spell, bewitching people's hearts.

She looked at his chin, which was so beautiful, full and slightly upturned, showing his resolute and stubborn character, his slender neck, Adam's apple... everything became familiar again. Why did he want to show up again when she had given up on him?

Appears suddenly.

"It's unnecessary for us to say goodbye..." She looked a little cold and seemed indifferent to this.

She has changed.

She was so lovely in front of him in the past, that girl who was immersed in love, deeply in love with the Grand Leader, exuding the breath of love, so sweet, so pure, so fascinating.

Kalki lowered his long brown-gold eyelashes. In Tibai, he left her without saying goodbye, left her alone on the bed and left, and then married another woman... This kind of guilt was like a stone weighing on him.

His heart tortured him over and over again, and he was almost out of breath with depression.

"Tannhäuser also needs redemption..."[1]

"Let's go! Platonists are not welcome here!"

She no longer wants to speak Plato to him. This language is too complicated and it is too difficult for her to speak without the language environment. She only speaks Gaian now. She doesn't want to hear about salvation or religious concepts that are shrouded in clouds and mountains. This is already the case.

Results are more important than anything else.

"Platonians are not welcome in Weishan Bookstore!" She bit her lip, trying to hold back her tears, leaning forward slightly and making a polite gesture of walking forward towards him, "Let's go quickly!"

Perhaps she unconsciously raised her voice in excitement. In this quiet bookstore, the alternating dialogue between Platonic and Gaian Chinese was heard by almost all the guests.

"Ah! Platonic people! Real Platonic people! Oh my God!"

There were only a few guests in total, and when they saw that it was really a tall white man dressed as a Platonic knight with long hair combed into a bun, the bookworms were so horrified that they put down their books and left one after another.

Now, there were only two of them in the bookstore, and there were almost no pedestrians in the deserted indoor commercial street outside.

She quickly walked to the door and pressed a button. The words "Open" displayed outside changed to "We are closed"

"Weishan Bookstore is closed!" Xuanji looked at him brightly with a pair of moist black eyes, "You should leave quickly!"

She pressed the door button and signaled him to leave quickly.

Kalki looked back at the bookstore full of physical ancient books. Everything used to be so beautiful. This bookstore is full of memories——

Several soft meows came over, full of joy.

Cats of all sizes in the bookstore ran towards Kalki, and they recognized him. All kinds of cats kept rubbing his cloth boots, raising their tails to rub their glands, and making various coquettish looks towards him.

.

"Do you still remember me..." His handsome face showed an unusually gentle expression, suddenly resembling a young man.

In an instant, she was moved by him again. In other words, the layer of hard armor she covered her heart suddenly disappeared, and her unusually soft side was revealed again.

She watched him bend down and stroke the cat's soft body. He made a killing, but he loved animals so much.

A yellow and white long-haired kitten jumped lightly into his arms. Kalki stood up, held it in his arms, lowered his head and stroked it gently.

"Xuanji, the universe is vast and endless, life is as short as a blink, you and I are standing here, everything is coming to an end... I beg you, don't drive me away, leave me some memories in our last meeting in life.



She stood there blankly. He always knew how to deal with her. She was no match for him. Kalki was brave and cunning.

She would always be knocked to the ground by him in the end, just like the first time——

He looked at her with blue and deep eyes, walked up to her, and closed the door for her.

In this way, there are only two of them in Weishan Bookstore.

After being entangled for a while, the kittens left as if they were spiritual.

"I'm thinking about it... I'm in the south of the sea. Why ask the emperor to ask for the pair of pearls and tortoise shell hairpin, and use the jade shading to dazzle it..." Xuanji looked at him and read an ancient poem in a soft but sad voice.

"I heard that you have other intentions, pull them out, destroy them and burn them! Destroy them and burn them... When the wind blows up their ashes..."

"From now on, don't miss me again. I miss you forever!"

She knew that Kalki was very knowledgeable and that he fully understood ancient Chinese poetry. His face turned paler, showing a regretful and painful expression.

I want to know you and live forever.

He suddenly remembered that on the night he escaped from Mangxing City, he was so elated. He hugged her in his arms, kissed her passionately, and used an ancient Yuefu poem to promise her lifelong love and give up everything for her.

Now these words of love seemed like a loud slap in the face, hitting him in the face.

He has never been so ashamed. This kind of shame is more intolerable to him than defeat.

"I don't know how to make you forgive me..." For the first time, he felt that he was at a loss for words, "Xuanji, I..."

The one I love is you.

Kalki called silently in his heart, how much he wanted to tell her everything in his heart, telling him how painful it was when he left her, and how hard he would be to recover every day from now on——

He gave up his true love so helplessly. Marriage was like breeding to him, like a male dog to a female dog... This is the greatest insult to a person who knows how to love, sleeping with someone who doesn't love him.

Women have to endure this for decades, feeling guilt and pleasure intertwined during sex. The human body is weak.

He was never the unparalleled hero in Xuanji's mind, he was just a dirty and weak man, full of sins.

She looked at him. He had a very complicated expression on his face, as if he was enduring pain, and the veins on his forehead were exposed. She suddenly realized that the few lines of ancient poetry she had recited had deeply hurt him.

His eyes are full of deep and painful feelings.

He loved her. She suddenly felt that they were always connected.

"Do you love her?" she asked softly.

Her heart was surging and she was extremely nervous. She told herself: If he said that he was forced, he was helpless. Even if he was deceiving her with sweet words, she would be willing to believe it and forgive him.

She loves him so much.

Kalki seemed surprisingly calm.

"Sympathy for another victim, that is another kind of love..." His eyes showed a look of determination again, like a wolf determined to prey.

He couldn't say what he really meant because he couldn't turn back now.

He was afraid that he would lose his mind. His love for Xuanji was like a blazing fire on a funeral pyre, burning his whole body and mind. He was afraid that he would not be able to control himself. If he could not suppress his emotions at this moment, if both of them completely let their emotions go, she would

Begging him with tears...all the efforts and pain before are meaningless.

"You love her..." Xuanji's beautiful face looked so pale and helpless. She felt that her heart was deeply hurt again, even more painful than when she learned that he was married.

"Do you love me?" Her voice was completely trembling.

"Those things we had... are all gone," he seemed calm, but his eyebrows were furrowed, looking extremely serious, "I regard you as my best friend now."

"I'm just your best friend?" She was so choked up that she could hardly speak.

She thought of how he had introduced her to Luo Hu in the rain of rose petals at the reception. There was a huge stone pressing heavily on her heart. Her heart could no longer beat, and all the blood in her body had solidified.

"I said, I just came to say goodbye to you solemnly. We can't just keep a relationship that has a beginning and an end..." His voice was so clear in the deserted bookstore, and so cold and rational.

Yes, he just came to say goodbye to her... He said that this was the last time they would see each other in this life.

Xuanji turned around and silently walked to the table where recommended books were placed. There was the bookstore's latest recommendation of the Chinese translation of the German poet Stefan Anton Georg's poetry collection in rough edges.

The beauty, the rose-wrapped border, the Big Dipper, and the Holy Grail, with "Secret Germany" written in four beautiful cursive characters.

Next to the neatly arranged books were a bouquet of red roses and paper knives arranged in a circle. The handles of these silver-plated paper knives were decorated with Hildesheim roses. These were arranged carefully by her.

Placed and arranged, this exquisite collection of poems is priced at a high price. Each buyer will receive a red rose and a paper knife. Such considerate service allows readers to cut the pages themselves, full of ancient poetry.

.

She stood blankly, looking at the shining silver paper knife.

That morning, when she looked at herself in the mirror, she felt even more regretful. She had an indescribable feeling that she had lost her most precious virginity, which she originally wanted to dedicate to the person she loved most.

The passionate and sincere love under the Gangdise Mountains can never go back.

Xuanji's back made him feel fond of her. She seemed to be thinner.

Kalki couldn't help but approached her, and saw from behind the collection of poems on the display table that she was looking at. He was suddenly filled with emotion. He recalled that he had seen many German poems in Fei's library many years ago, and he remembered this one.
"ReissmichandeinenRand..." (Drag me towards you) he recited softly in German.

"Abgrund...dochwirremichnicht!" (Abyss, but don't confuse me)

Such a long-lasting poem, his youthful self. Kalki frowned, but now it has become the best portrayal of his mood at this moment. Destiny seems to have been programmed long ago, making it impossible for him to escape.

Xuanji felt that all the muscles in her body were tightening, as if she was making a difficult decision. Kalki was so knowledgeable, so handsome, so good... He was like the brightest star in the sky. She couldn't think of anyone better than him in the world.

A good person.

"Kalki, you are a cruel man who has hurt me deeply...but I really don't want to leave you...I can't live without you..." She murmured to herself, as if immersed in her inner world,

His words were a little garbled, "I lost you once. You don't know how painful I was. I was actually crazy. I pretended to be a normal person...living, eating, sleeping...no one knew the pain I felt every night. I

My heart has been broken...I will never see you again..."

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He was silent. She could confess her pain to him, but he could not tell her inner feelings.

"I sometimes think, I would rather you die... I don't want you to leave me and belong to another woman."

Having said the most vicious words in her heart, the words that struck her deepest, she suddenly felt dizzy, accompanied by a sense of relief.

She said she hoped he would die, but he didn't hate her for it. Kalki still stared at Xuanji's back wordlessly. He loved her personality. She was frank and straightforward, just like him.

"Death is a kind of relief..." Kalki spoke in a lonely voice, revealing his inner pain, "The world is too ridiculous."

"The night I was at the Karuizawa Prince Hotel, I dreamed that in front of Plato's throne, I killed you with a sword...but I died with you...we died together, what I felt

It is a kind of happiness and peace...the ultimate..."

"Liebestod..." He sighed.

Their thoughts almost simultaneously returned to the moment when they listened to Wagner's opera "Tristan and Isolde" in her small apartment. The sunset in Star City was so beautiful, shrouded in poetic and warm light.

He was moved by the beautiful music and unconsciously rested his head on her shoulder. At that moment, she was so drunk that the sunset was dreamy and golden...

If fate is nothing but a program that has already been programmed, then there is nothing wrong with letting the end come earlier.

Living is an unbearable pain.

There is a bright light in her black eyes.

Xuanji picked up the small and sharp paper knife at an extremely fast speed, turned around and stabbed Kalki who was standing behind her with such speed and swiftness that she was like the best of Plato's knights.

[1] The concepts of sin, karma, and redemption are unique to Indo-Europeans and do not exist in East Asian culture. Therefore, the heroine of this story does not care about it.


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