When I was interning in Dongguan in the first semester of my senior year, the boss of the foreign trade company asked us a question at the Monday regular meeting: "Dealing with customers is like falling in love. If you meet someone you like, will you take the initiative to confess your love?"
I remember that only one of the four boys in our company answered the question, and that person was not me.
I have always been a timid person and have never dared to express my feelings to girls. Not only because I have no confidence in my appearance, but the most important thing is that I am afraid of rejection, especially by the person I like.
The feeling of rejection is really painful.
However, even though I have been a coward for most of my life, I still have the experience of confessing my love, and it was during the second semester of my junior year (which happened to be the end of 2018) that I still feel ashamed when I think about it.
At that time, my brother asked me: "XX, you have been in college for almost three years. Do you have a girl you like? If so, confess your love as soon as possible. Otherwise, everyone will be working in the future and you will not have the chance to confess your love."
"What if I get rejected? Then I would be embarrassed."
"That's okay. Confession has only two outcomes. Acceptance and rejection each account for half. Think about it, if she accepts, you will have an extra girlfriend. If she rejects, you have nothing to lose, right?"
I thought about it and realized that what my brother said made sense. With the mentality of giving it a try and turning my bicycle into a motorcycle, I decided to give it a try.
The first thing I need to do to express my love is to find the person to whom I want to express my love. I closed my eyes, and the first thing that came to my mind was her image, and so my plan to express my love began.
"Brother, do you think it would be better to express your love by voice or text?"
"It's all fine, just choose whichever method you think is more suitable." As a married man, my brother has much more experience in relationships than I do.
"Brother, can I...can I write a love letter?"
"What age are you still writing love letters? Isn't it too old-fashioned?" My brother looked at me with contempt, and I could only smile bitterly.
The first thing I tried was voice recording. I recorded it several times, but I couldn't speak a word. I felt that such disgusting love words should not come from the mouth of a person like me.
Then I tried to send a message. I edited the message several times. The beginning was just a lot of love words that made my scalp go numb. I didn’t put any emotion into it at all. I just felt it was artificial and innocent.
Forget it, writing love letters is more suitable for me.
I had paper and pen ready, and I started writing like a genius. I wrote a love letter immediately, took a photo of it, and waited until 12 o'clock in the evening to send it to her. Then I immediately turned off the data and checked it again the next morning.
information.
The next morning, the first thing she did when she woke up was to turn on the traffic. She responded with a long message, which can be summarized in four words: She refused.
I'm a little disappointed, but not sad.
I have never mentioned the rejection of my confession to anyone. I am embarrassed to say this kind of thing, after all, it is not a glorious thing. I have always regarded this matter as a secret in my heart. I thought that except for me and her, the world
No one in the world will know this secret, but I was wrong.
She didn't keep this matter as a secret. During a major exam, she and my friend's girlfriend rented a house together, and she accidentally mentioned this matter, just treating it as a casual joke for everyone's amusement.
.The secrets in my eyes, in her eyes, are nothing more than entertainment topics to talk about after dinner.
The funny thing is, if my friend hadn't told me, I would have thought that no one knew my secret. At that moment, I felt disappointed in her.
I just hope that everyone can become attractive people and wait for others to express their feelings to you, so that you don’t have to experience the feeling of rejection. (To be continued)