Looking at that sad smile, I am obviously happy, but a little proud.
He shuddered slightly. In the final analysis, this is a war of mixed races. He and Zhai Enxi will only be passers-by for a few months, not real friends. They both seem to be mixed races and trash, but she
He is about to die, but he has no emotions, like two parallel lines that can never be connected.
She seems to be far less noticed, perhaps one of the girls with dyed hair who are common on the streets of Japan. Her beauty is only visible for a few seconds, and then disappears into the complicated life.
He is just a transfer student. When expectations turn into people of the same color, many hopes will turn into disappointment and then turn into ordinary life.
Li Ze's finger touched the screen. This was a notepad. There were nine named documents in it. He opened the first one.
【August 2, 2001
It was my 13th birthday. I ran out secretly to buy a cake, but was caught. I have no freedom, they don’t understand, and they don’t understand why they want to lock me up and monitor me like this, even though they are paid, and
It's still their mission, but I see the freedom they long for in their eyes.
They want to buy wine and get drunk. They want to enjoy life. They have been watching me since I was born. They cannot take a few steps outside. It is as if they are the prisoners in the cage and I am the warden supervising them.
.
It’s just that they don’t know that if they leave me, they will die, but if they stay with me, they will die slower.]
【January 19, 2003
The doctor said I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.
The medical treatment at that time was not that good, so the doctor wanted me to leave the hospital and do some things I wanted to do.
Last time it was brain cancer, this time it was pancreatic cancer, what will it be next time? Is it a curse that helps that guy? A curse from Michael? That guy, isn't he just fighting for her sister peacefully with her? Why would he give it to her?
I cursed you? And you said I shouldn’t have saved that ungrateful bastard.
What can I do? I want to go abroad, but I can’t even go out to Kyoto, where else can I go?
The doctor looked at me with a little pity. Yes, I was only 15 years old at this time. At the age of 15, I contracted a fatal disease. Even if there was some lust in his heart, he still felt it was a pity.
I don't like hospitals, the cold walls, the ubiquitous smell of disinfectant, crying, and dull atmosphere. I went to the orphanage willfully and brought a lot of things, and they were laughing around me.<
/p>
I'm thinking, it would be great if I had a child, a child who looks like her.]
【July 11, 2003
I went to Mount Fuji.
Why should I go there? I don’t know.]
【August 1, 2003
It hurts, it really hurts.】
【March 2, 2004
I went to see my mother. She was very happy and her smile has not changed after so many years.
It is a tombstone after all.
Father is also there. They are like burial objects. My birth means their death. What a bastard I am.]
【August 2, 2005
Pain.
Before going to bed, I tucked Yasha into the quilt and reluctantly put my arm around her waist. I asked Yasha, does what she said still count?
She has the final say.
It would be better if I were a little stupid, but I am not stupid. Yasha also felt the trembling of my body, turned around, hugged me affectionately, and said to me: Maybe I am the only one who knows all the truth in Toba Yuan, but I will accompany you.
I will accompany you until the end, even when I die. After all, you are my only eldest lady.
How silly!】
【September 7, 2005
Yasha bought me a mobile phone.
The development of mobile phones has been a long time, but this is my first mobile phone. I excitedly saved Yasha’s phone number, asked Yasha to stay away from me, and called her.
This is my most precious gift.】
【June 1, 2006
My sleep quality began to get worse, and I still couldn't fall asleep.
At this time, I really began to look like a patient and could only rely on a wheelchair to travel. Yasha brought me a small box of cakes, but after I took a bite, I suddenly lost my appetite.
I spit out a mouthful of blood. It turned out to be that it was disturbing me from tasting these delicacies that I would no longer be able to taste.]
【July 3, 2006
It hurts more and more.】
【July 9, 2006
Cancer is so uncomfortable. So why didn’t it happen in the past few years, and it was all concentrated in this last month? I took painkillers, sedatives, and even took sleeping pills in large gulps.
Although I know it won't work, I want to rely on the ingredients of the medicine to numb myself.
Failed. Samael, you are a bastard.]
【July 26, 2006
I completely lost sleep.
I was awake all night and the pain got worse and worse. It hurt when I stood, when I sat, and when I lay down. It hurt a lot. In the mirror, I was so thin that I could count the number of my breastbones. If I would
When you take off your clothes, you can even see your heart beating humbly under your sternum.
I hugged Yasha’s rotting body, which was a gift from Samael.
Bastard, why did I obsessively agree to him doing this kind of thing in the first place, and now I am like a grasshopper on the skipping rope, but if he can jump out, I will die.
Siaya, where are you? I really want to see you, even just once.]
【August 1, 2006
This was the only time I fell asleep, and he started to dream, I was really... going to die again]
【August 2, 2006 23:59
Good night! Youqi Kui.】
Li Ze closes the screen.
Those details that he could ignore, those pains hidden in the dark, were all swallowed up by Youqi Kui alone, and the threads were woven into a piece of King in the Wind at this moment, cutting his heart into pieces.
After looking at his expression, Zhie Xi pondered for a moment: "This is Yuqi Kui's diary. I believe she is very happy that the next me will have such a life, at least not like her, with physical pain and loved ones.
All died, at least, I achieved one thing I wanted. My dear, you will take good care of me in this last time, right?"
Li Ze seemed to turn a deaf ear.
The weather has begun to get worse, with dark clouds covering the sky, making me breathless after watching it for a long time. It was obviously sunny before, but now it is about to rain heavily.
Li Ze suddenly remembered what his mother once told him when he was a child. As long as the sun does not show its face, it means that a child has done something bad or lied, and misfortune will befall this child.
He shook his head vigorously, feeling that he was thinking wildly.
"My dear, there are still things hanging out on the balcony, can you go back and put them away?" Zhaexi leaned on the pillow and closed her eyes.
Her voice is so beautiful and alluring, yet so weak and sad.
Li Ze didn't know if he was obsessed with it, so he leaned over and kissed her on the forehead, saying softly: "Okay!"