It's been a month since the last Onmyoji was finished. For a month, I've barely made any sound. I've been silent and I've been watching every review carefully.
Always faced with what I deserve and what I deserve for myself.
I thought that when the story was over, it would be an end, but no, the characters that I devoted all my efforts to create are still lingering in my mind. It shouldn't have ended so hastily.
quick.
But since I made that choice in the first place, I have already done it, and there is no way out. Many people tried to persuade me to rewrite it and write some extras. I told them no, maybe because I really didn’t have the strength.
According to my original thoughts, it will be very long and will continue to be very long.
In fact, when I look back now, I wonder why I ended up at that time. There was no reason, just because I was tired.
No one will know the sadness of a person who writes words late at night, smokes one cigarette after another, wanders around the room when he can't come up with a plot, bangs his head against the wall and has insomnia all night long.
There are many people who will scold the update for being so slow and say what nonsense is written here.
Because they didn't try to write 10,000 words after get off work every day.
I can't not update, I can't update slowly, I can't write when I can't think of something, there are too many things I can't.
So I became cowardly and retreated. I thought, I might as well finish it, at least it would make myself less tired.
No one loves my work more than me. He is like my child, but in the end, I gave up on him. No one can understand the feeling of an old man who cried all night on the day of completion, let alone
can tell
I have been working hard to write a suspense book. It is different. It is definitely not a spiritual practice or a fairy tale. I just want to write down my thoughts and write about things that are intertwined with technological civilization and mythological civilization. This itself is extremely difficult.
, I use my junior high school education level to write a book about something that is beyond my ability. Maybe this is my instability. I am too arrogant. I think I can grasp everything, but I find it difficult.
Go and do it.
I want time to rest and recuperate, but no one can give it to me.
These contradictions cannot be reconciled.
The ending of Onmyoji is given to me and no one can understand it, because it is just something written for myself.
I want to be different from others, I want to be a hero.
So does Lin Xiaofan, and so does the Lin family.
But there is no need for heroes in this world. Just like when Hei San tells people the story of Lin Xiaofan, others will call him a fool.
The superpowers you have worked so hard to gain are not good enough to stand out in this society and give your family a happy life.
Lin Xiaofan is finally no longer ordinary.
Lin Erdan can definitely make his family less miserable.
Lin Baqian, the youngest Lin, can definitely not be so tired.
But they chose an extraordinary path and wanted to become a hero
Hei San finally understood why Lin Xiaofan would not come back, because what they did was not understood by others, and this was a lonely road.
The same goes for me. I am not a hero. I want to take an extraordinary path, but no one understands or supports me.
Almost all of my readers think that the first fifth of Onmyoji is the most exciting essence of the book, but I feel that my entire later design is what I am most proud of. I tried my best to try those things that actually everyone
There will be some guesses.
No one can understand all this
Some things are really ironic. Before it was finished, everyone was scolding me, why are you still writing and still cheating money?
After it was finished, more people asked why you finished it so quickly.
Countless people threatened me to give up the book. In the end, I gave up. That’s it. I am a human being, not an indestructible body.
After finishing the book, one day a friend found my phone number online and called me. We chatted for a few minutes about this book.
Suddenly I felt a lot of emotion.
He said that I could completely ignore those negative voices. I said how could that be possible? He smiled bitterly and said, yes.
There were many people who were extremely sarcastic, ridiculed and sarcastic in front of me. It was as if the author could not show off his high-end skills without sarcastic sentences. Then when I finally collapsed, they came again. They said, look, this idiot finally wrote
Can't go down anymore.
That's right, this idiot finally can't write anymore. This is the result you want.
I had never heard of this book before.
This book makes you and I meet on the Internet, and there is such a big hatred between us
They will not only scold you, but also scold your parents. I am a person who rarely deletes negative comments, unless some people will make a disgusting attack on life, but some people always can't understand it.
Where many problems arise.
They ignored the sentences in their words that insulted the other person's parents. Then they deleted them and said that you can't accept criticism based on your standards.
They forget that if they were scolded like this, they would have paid it back, but I didn't.
Maybe they think that I should be patient and I owe them.
Yes, if I scold you back, someone will accuse you of scolding fans. Why are you so incompetent?
I have said so much today because I am really stuck with a lot of words.
What made me feel uncomfortable was actually not that there were too many negative voices at that time, but that I felt uncomfortable because of my cowardice, my lack of mental stability, and the fact that I felt sorry for too many people who had been comforting me and supporting me.
Ninety-nine people say good things to you, and one person scolds you, but you can't accept it. Sanliang is also a common person.
After finishing this book, I thought about changing my pen name. At least too many people would have a shadow of doubts about the money, but I finally decided not to.
I have already escaped once, but this time I will not escape again.
Take the scolding I deserve.
Challenge yourself again.
This time, I write for myself. I will be criticized for being slow to update, but I will never update for the sake of updating.
I said this is my peak suspense, this is the oath, and the most unreasonable thing about me is the oath.
Others swear, in order to complete.
And I'm just self-flagellation
Too many people are still here, and too many people are no longer here.
At the same time, I would like to thank everyone for their support, whether they were abusive or supportive. They at least accompanied me through those three months.
It’s cold, so be sure to wear extra clothes.
A belated conclusion
It's been a month since the last Onmyoji was finished. For a month, I've barely made any sound. I've been silent and I've been watching every review carefully.
Always faced with what I deserve and what I deserve for myself.
I thought that when the story was over, it would be an end, but no, the characters that I devoted all my efforts to create are still lingering in my mind. It shouldn't have ended so hastily.
quick.
But since I made that choice in the first place, I have already done it, and there is no way out. Many people tried to persuade me to rewrite it and write some extras. I told them no, maybe because I really didn’t have the strength.
According to my original thoughts, it will be very long and will continue to be very long.
In fact, when I look back now, I wonder why I ended up at that time. There was no reason, just because I was tired.
No one will know the sadness of a person who writes words late at night, smokes one cigarette after another, wanders around the room when he can't come up with a plot, bangs his head against the wall and has insomnia all night long.
There are many people who will scold the update for being so slow and say what nonsense is written here.
Because they didn't try to write 10,000 words after get off work every day.
I can't not update, I can't update slowly, I can't write when I can't think of something, there are too many things I can't.
So I became cowardly and retreated. I thought, I might as well finish it, at least it would make myself less tired.
No one loves my work more than me. He is like my child, but in the end, I gave up on him. No one can understand the feeling of an old man who cried all night on the day of completion, let alone
can tell
I have been working hard to write a suspense book. It is different. It is definitely not a spiritual practice or a fairy tale. I just want to write down my thoughts and write about things that are intertwined with technological civilization and mythological civilization. This itself is extremely difficult.
, I use my junior high school education level to write a book about something that is beyond my ability. Maybe this is my instability. I am too arrogant. I think I can grasp everything, but I find it difficult.
Go and do it.
I want time to rest and recuperate, but no one can give it to me.
These contradictions cannot be reconciled.
The ending of Onmyoji is given to me and no one can understand it, because it is just something written for myself.
I want to be different from others, I want to be a hero.
So does Lin Xiaofan, and so does the Lin family.
But there is no need for heroes in this world. Just like when Hei San tells people the story of Lin Xiaofan, others will call him a fool.
The superpowers you have worked so hard to gain are not good enough to stand out in this society and give your family a happy life.
Lin Xiaofan is finally no longer ordinary.
Lin Erdan can definitely make his family less miserable.
Lin Baqian, the youngest Lin, can definitely not be so tired.
But they chose an extraordinary path and wanted to become a hero.