I looked at him in shock with tears still flowing in my eyes. What did he say? Is there something wrong with my ears? He actually wants to reconcile with me?!
"Promise me, um, promise me."
"I……"
My throat suddenly became tight, as if there were a lot of words stuck there and I couldn't pour them out at once——
Why do you break up when you say break up, and make up when you say reconciliation? Do you think this is children's play house?
Did you think this through carefully or did it happen on a whim?
And the most important thing is, can you really accept that I am intersex?
He let go of his hand, walked directly to the desk, took out the document he had been looking at and handed it to me: "This is a gift from me to you. I know that you may need to adapt. At this point, I don't want to
If I force you, I am confident that you will nod, because I believe that your feelings for me are the same as mine for you."
I lowered my eyes, I really couldn't say a lot of words, and I was so torn in my heart. When he first said he liked me two years ago, all I wanted to think about was whether I had the courage to stand with him, but now,
It’s not just a matter of courage, but also giving up. There are some things that I need to pursue throughout my life. I really don’t know if I can give up being an Onmyoji like Zongbao said. What does that mean?
I really don’t dare to think about it.
Stretching out my hand, I numbly took the document handed over by Zhuo Jing, reached out and turned a page, and my eyes lit up slightly: "Eye of the Unicorn?"
The first page is a color picture of a golden Ferris wheel, and the name explained next to it is 'Kilin Eye.'
"I know you like the Ferris wheel, and I don't want to keep competing with myself. Within two years, it will stand dazzlingly with the 'Happy World' as a new landmark building. Although it is still a Ferris wheel, it will definitely
It is the highest in the country. So far, you are the first person you have seen this. And the reason why it is called the 'Kilin Eye' is that I don't need to explain it to you."
My fingers were about to dig into the paper of the document. My mind was shaking uncontrollably, and I didn’t dare to think: “I don’t understand.”
Zhuo Jing stretched out his hand and hugged me directly: "Silly, I just hope that I can keep looking at you. It also has another name, called Tiantian Wheel. You are a lifelong VIP and can sit wherever you want. Of course, you are also the only one who has this privilege."
All this happened so suddenly, I really don’t know what to do. On the one hand, I am greedy for the warmth of this embrace. On the other hand, I seem to see many hurdles in front of me that I have not overcome. I will remind you of these hurdles.
Hold me, this embrace does not belong to you...
"Why don't you speak?"
Zhuo Jing hugged me tightly: "Don't reject me. I don't know if I will be so courageous next time. With you, I can really ignore anything and ask for nothing, as long as you are with me."
Together, you are the person who walked into my heart when I was sixteen years old. For eleven years, I really can’t keep looking at you as you don’t belong to me. I’m not that big-minded, and I can’t let you go.
You are living in a world that does not belong to me."
I wanted to wipe my tears, but I couldn't lift my hands when he was holding me. I could only raise my face and look at him with tears in my eyes. My words came out with a heavy nasal voice: "Then... I am intersex."
, Zhuo Jing, I am intersex."
Zhuo Jing lowered his eyes and looked at me seriously: "Leave it all to me. You are not hermaphrodite. There are some things you can't choose. So I can't blame you. Believe me, I will help you solve it. From now on
From now on, no one will dare to say that you are intersex."
I tremble slightly, does he still care?
I couldn't see his face clearly. I seemed to have guessed the result, but I still opened my mouth unwillingly: "How do you want to help me?"
He didn't notice anything strange about me at all, and the thin lips I bitten were red and glaring. He raised his hand to wipe the tears from my eyes again, and his dark eyes immediately pierced into the bottom of my heart:
"The doctors I'm looking for abroad will arrive tomorrow. Originally, I wanted to send you to a foreign country for surgery, but I'm afraid I'm too busy and can't take care of you all the time. So, I'll find them here so that I can do it every day.
When I see you..." As he spoke, his chin touched my forehead and his voice was very low. "Don't be afraid. The doctors I have found are the most qualified doctors from abroad. I have also consulted in detail about your situation.
It’s not complicated at all. Just treat it as a small cold, sleep peacefully, and when you wake up, those things that bring you unhappiness will be gone.”
I suddenly felt cold. It should be very warm when he held me, but I felt colder and colder. He asked me to do surgery. Sure enough, he asked me to do surgery——
"Why don't you talk? Are you scared? It's okay. If you are scared, I can stay with you during the operation. I will watch you sleep. Well, don't worry, I will take care of everything."
I let out a 'haha' sound, and a burst of laughter burst out from the depths of my body. This laughter caused my whole body to tremble, and along with it, a dozen tiny 'hahaha' sounds came out together. I
I know that I must be like a mentally ill person who has been stimulated at this moment, shedding tears, but the expression on my face is smiling. I don’t know why I am laughing. Am I laughing at my own patheticness or at Zhuo Jing’s wishful thinking?
?
Surgery? Does he know what surgery means to both of us?
Zhuo Jing was puzzled by my reaction. He held my shoulders and suddenly a trace of nervousness flashed in his eyes: "What's wrong? You don't want surgery?"
I laughed enough, raised my hand and wiped my face vigorously, looked at him and took a deep breath: "Yes, I don't want surgery, and I don't know how to do it."
Zhuo Jing's eyes suddenly turned cold: "Why."
The corner of my mouth curled up in a strange way, and I looked at him with my head half raised: "Why, you keep saying that you love me, but you really love Ma Jiaolong, who you thought was a girl, not me.
Hermaphrodite, since you can only accept me as a woman, then for you now, the only thing you miss about me is this face."
Zhuo Jing stared at me hard, and a red halo slowly formed in his eyes. I knew that this was a precursor to his upcoming anger: "You yourself once said that you want to have surgery, so if you do it now, it will be better at that time."
What difference does it make?”
The corner of my mouth was still grinning awkwardly, and I looked at him: "I have changed. At that time, I thought everything was simple, but now I know that I was wrong. Zhuo Jing, you are too willful, even though I once hated me
body, but now I don’t think there is anything wrong with this body. I am intersex, which may be a shameful thing for you. Maybe you and your family cannot accept it, but for me now
, I don’t want to change my body for anyone, I’m intersex, it’s no big deal.” (To be continued)