It was a gloomy morning. I packed up the sacrificial things and looked at my mother: "Are you really going?"
Mom nodded affirmatively: "Yes, I'll go."
I didn't say anything more, and drove directly to the countryside with my tires on the wet road. In fact, I didn't deliberately persuade my mother to go to grandma's grave. After so many things, I know too well the powerlessness of words. If a person
If your inner thoughts are firm, then it will be useless even if you try to break the rules. Maybe it will have the opposite effect.
But my mother naturally helped me sort out the sacrificial objects that needed to be taken to the grave, and then changed into a pair of brand new and solemn clothes early in the morning. When I went out, she was already waiting for me in the yard with an umbrella. When I asked me to come out, she said softly:
"Qiaoqiao, I want to go with you to see your grandma."
I think I have been looking forward to this sentence since my grandma passed away, and it has also been my grandma's heartache. Although she did not get the forgiveness of her daughter when she was alive, after she died, I think my grandma was also thinking about this.
Yes, but I didn’t expect that my mother’s mentality would change unconsciously, and she would take the initiative to ask to see my grandma.
We didn’t say anything else along the way. Going to the graves to pay homage to our loved ones is a serious and solemn matter. But when the car drove into the village, my mother couldn’t help but shed tears and whispered softly: "I was carrying the car on my back back then."
The luggage came out from here. When your grandma and your grandpa chased it out, I was already on the bus. They were crying, but I was full of resentment and secretly swore that I would never go back to this house..."
I didn't answer. I think it was the successive deaths of relatives that made my mother understand the meaning of the separation between yin and yang. People who are alive are not cherished properly. After death, when they really regret the day, they will be doubly sad and even hate themselves.
I used to have a grudge against my mother because of this, because as I grew up and gradually analyzed this matter, I did not think that my grandma owed my mother. It could even be said that the person who was most hurt by my aunt's departure should not be my mother, but my mother.
It's grandma. Because her daughter is gone, she will be more worried and anxious than anyone else.
It's a pity that my grandma's mother, who should understand her the most, didn't understand her. That kind of unreasonable hatred and distance kept her awake for many days and nights. I think my grandma's kindness to me at the beginning was also grafted on her.
Among the debts I owe to my mother, this reminds me of what Zhuo Jing once said to my family. It is also suitable for my grandma. She lost a girl, who should be the most protected person, but the result was inexplicable.
He became a 'murderer' who had to bear the consequences, and the initiator of all this was my mother.
It's a pity that the mother repented too late, because it was no longer possible for the grandma to look face to face with her eldest daughter and let go of her prejudices to see her.
I admit that all this has a lot to do with her father's departure. I have been staying with her in the past two months, watching her regain her energy little by little, and then she started to go to the store to be busy. In the evening, mother and son had dinner together.
She also began to urge me to go back, because knowing about my grandpa still worried me. I took her to the city to visit my grandpa who was hospitalized twice. She wanted to stay and take care of me, but my grandpa didn't adapt.
My mother's sharp edges have lost a lot. She said she knew that my grandfather was more accustomed to following me, so she asked me to go back and take care of her. Whether it was surgery or rest, she listened to my opinion. But I thought, since I have been at home for more than two months.
, then I’ll wait until I finish visiting my grandma’s grave during the Qingming Festival before going back, because this is my compulsory schedule every year. My mother didn’t say much after hearing what I said, but I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and saw that the lights in her room were always on.
I immediately knew that she was also thinking about her grandma. On the Qingming Festival, she chose to go to the grave with me, which indirectly told me that she wanted to let go of everything in the past and knew that she was wrong.
I don’t want to say whether she is a selfish person, because if her father, Xiaobao, and the people she should rely on are all there, she will definitely not be able to review herself. All of this disappeared in an instant, as if
There was a big blank in her life, so most of her quiet time was spent thinking and thinking, in order to give herself a reason and motivation to live. In fact, she was able to tell me the truth on the night she hanged herself.
It’s not that she really doesn’t like me, but she just wants to escape, I know. In fact, everyone clearly knows the devil in their heart, which is the dark side, but they just don’t want to admit it, because escaping will make people relaxed, and facing it will make people feel relaxed.
Sometimes you need to admit your mistakes, and adults are the least willing to admit their mistakes.
The car drove to the foot of the mountain. Because of the light rain, the road was not as muddy as usual. I held the sacrificial object in one hand and supported my mother with the other. She struggled to hold the umbrella for me and whispered: "Be careful, don't let it go."
The paper money got damp, so I came to see your grandma, don't make it difficult for her to collect it..."
As soon as I finished speaking, a strong wind suddenly blew up. The umbrella in my mother's hand was blown away and the lid was lifted. She was startled and hurriedly tried to take back the lid of the umbrella. She was busy in the gloomy sky room.
It suddenly cleared up——
"Qiaoqiao, this..."
I gently raised the corner of my mouth and looked at my mother who was still surprised: "Grandma knows that you came to see her. She is happy and feels sorry for you, so she wants you to go to see her more easily."
Mom sniffed, put away her umbrella and kept nodding: "Well, let's hurry up, hurry up, don't make your grandma wait anxiously!"
I smiled and nodded, holding my mother's hand and striding towards the mountain. Everything went smoothly. Except for the sudden clearing of the sky and the sun shining above my head, there was no abnormality at all. My mother was crying while giving grandma the
Fragrant, he kept saying: "Mom, I'm late, I'm late."
The incense head was burning well. When I knelt down and looked at the green grass tips protruding from the side of my grandma's grave, I was silently thinking to myself, Grandma, although this year is my birth year, many bad things have happened.
, but my mother can take the initiative to see you, which is a happy thing. No matter what hardships I will encounter, I will grit my teeth and persevere——
When I was preparing to go down the mountain, the weather was even calmer. I no longer asked my grandma for anything, nor did I ask any more questions about my fortune in the year of my birth. I think my grandma was very enlightened down there. Even if the calamities of ordinary people like me were
Grandma has seen it and knows it, but there is nothing I can do to point it out. Since I can't avoid it, I can really choose to let nature take its course here. When the calamity comes, I will survive. When the disaster comes, I will transform. If I ask questions, it will only make grandma
Worried about my state of mind.
But when I turned around to leave, my back suddenly seemed to be torn violently. It felt like someone peeled off the skin from your back, took it out, and then fiercely squeezed your heart. I couldn't stand upright at that time.
I stumbled and fell to my knees. My mother held me tightly with her hand. My sudden reaction made her face suddenly change: "Qiaoqiao, are you okay? Ah, what's wrong?"
I knelt there to relieve myself for a long time. The pain was momentary, but I could barely bear it. I turned back and glanced at my grandma's grave. The paper ashes were swaying gently in the breeze, and a dry branch made a loud creaking sound.
Broken, I frowned slightly, my grandma still didn’t trust me after all, she was trying her best to enlighten me...
Branches are like me, and breaking them is a big disaster. I stood up slowly, picked up the branch and looked at it carefully. My mother followed me with a puzzled look on her face: "Qiaoqiao, what happened to you? Where did it hurt just now?"
Ah, ah?"
"Upper body..."
I responded softly in my mouth, and suddenly thought in my mind, the top is bottom, the bottom is top, which means the legs are the first half, and the upper body is the second half. The pain in my back plus the broken branch, if grandma wants to tell me that the second half will be
Encountering an unexpected incident...
Taking a deep breath, I knelt on my grandma's grave and kowtowed three times: "Grandma, Jiaolong understands, Jiaolong will be careful..."
The sunny sky actually hit a dull thunder. I looked up and said, "Grandma, if the sky wants to cross me, I will be afraid of where to come from. I will always remember your words. I am a dragon. I can only welcome you."
Go up difficult times and cross rivers without fear of danger. (To be continued)