"Last year she would still be irritable, frightened, and talk nonsense. Now she has no memory of anyone except her mother."
I looked quietly at Tong Anqi sitting on the bed through the glassless window frame of the ward door. She had her legs curled up, holding on to the pompoms on a worn sweater with great interest, and humming in her mouth.
It's not out of tune, but seriously it looks like a child finishing his homework.
"Does she like to pull on that cotton ball..."
"
Yes, the nurses in our hospital will specially ask for these unworn sweaters that are rubbed and pilled from relatives at home. Such patients will have some quirks, but as long as they are satisfied, they will be quiet and cooperate with the treatment."
I think she regarded these cotton balls as her troubles. After removing them, she felt comfortable.
"Tong Anqi."
I called her name softly, but she didn't raise her head. She was still humming a tune and doing the work at hand extremely seriously.
"I'm Maggiore."
The movements of her hands paused for a moment, and she finally raised her eyes to look at me. The face that I remembered as arrogant at one time, for the first time, appeared unguarded, simple and ignorant. I looked at her, and again
Repeat: "Do you still remember me?"
Behind the scenes, she looked at me and actually smiled, a smile without any content, just like when you are walking on the street and see a stranger who suddenly laughs at you. Before I could react, she turned her head
He lowered his head, humming a tune, and continued the movements of his hands. After a while, a small pile of pom-pom threads was pulled out from the hospital bed next to him.
"It's useless. She has forgotten everyone except her mother."
I said oh, I forgot, she hates me so much, a sister who became her imaginary enemy when she was ten years old. If I didn't forget, how could she smile at me.
"Will her mother come often?"
The director nodded and said: "Come, her mother will be cleaning the courtyard in the morning, but she only dares to visit her when she is asleep, otherwise she will change her appearance as soon as she thinks about it and scold her.
Mother, and has suicidal tendencies..."
I nodded and said, "Then...who is responsible for Tong Anqi's hospitalization expenses?"
"Doctor Zhuo."
The director responded calmly and sighed: "It's not easy for him either. He came back once before and came to see her. Dr. Zhuo and his wife have always been responsible for the expenses, but the patient's mother didn't appreciate it and kept shouting
It’s not necessary, but in fact, if it weren’t for Dr. Zhuo, how could her mother afford Tong Anqi’s hospitalization expenses if her own life was in trouble.”
I was stunned for a moment: "Is my aunt's life very difficult?"
The director nodded: "The perpetrators of the previous assault on Tong Anqi were caught, and their families compensated part of the expenses, but they couldn't come up with more than that. Originally, there was no problem with using the money to support Tong Anqi's mother in her old age, so I didn't
She persuaded her to save the money. Once Tong Anqi's condition was under control, mother and daughter would need to live after they were discharged from hospital. But she insisted on doing some business. That person really didn't listen to the advice at all. Of course, she lost all her money.
She was diagnosed with diabetes again, and I felt sorry for her, so I asked her to come over every morning as a temporary worker to clean the house..."
"Then does my sister-in-law know about my aunt's current situation?"
There was also a trace of helplessness on the director's face: "It's useless to know. Your aunt is very stubborn. She said that if someone left, she would cut off relations with her. She was heartbroken and couldn't even ask for food.
They, hey, I really don’t know how to evaluate her, I don’t understand people’s good or bad intentions, yet I still insist on having some backbone, and as a result, my life is like this now.”
I think of what my aunt did when she sold mink, and she was able to make a fat person look fat. This was something she could do.
"I understand, let's go, director, please bring me over to see her."
The director's hand moved to the side: "Let's go. Although Tong Anqi can't leave the hospital yet, her condition is already recovering well."
I didn't respond. I looked at Tong Anqi who only lived in her own world. There seemed to be a switch in her body that blocked everything. Even though I stood at the door talking to the director for a long time, she never raised her eyes.
It was unbelievably quiet.
Until I walked out of the corridor, I looked at some patients who were either screaming or throwing paper airplanes in the ward. As expected, everyone's reaction to the disease was different.
I think Tong Anqi has always been a simple person. She is easily indoctrinated into something and believes it firmly. As long as she believes in a person and believes that this person will be good for her, then she will go down the road without hesitation. On the contrary
Yes, she will fight to the end. To a certain extent, she can be regarded as having a clear distinction between love and hate.
Although I admit that she really brought it upon herself to get to where she is today. Maybe when she was sober, she figured it out, so she only hated her mother, but she couldn't really face this person who had been indoctrinating her about right and wrong.
The woman who is supposed to have the closest concept to her, therefore, she chooses to continue to be ill in a simple world without facing it, and there will be no more pain.
She is my only sister who is somewhat of a blood relative, but our relationship was still as strong as fire and water at the last moment when she was awake. The most satisfactory result should be to let go of the grudge, but unfortunately, that can never be done.
After returning home, I felt physically exhausted and depressed. I regarded the things that Onmyoji needed to deal with as my job. But even if the work went smoothly, it would inevitably be affected by the process. In addition, I was disgusted at all.
I didn't have the appetite to eat, so I went to see Tong Anqi again. My emotions were accumulated together, and it was difficult to escape for a while. I took out a new drink from the refrigerator, opened it, and prepared it for the children who came to play in the evening. After that, I collapsed on the sofa.
I don't like to move anymore.
The room where I was the only one seemed a little quiet. Looking at the second hand on the clock moving forward without stopping, I suddenly felt that that needle represented everyone, going round and round, tirelessly and helplessly.
Go back and walk your life.
‘Ling ring ring~~~ring ring ring~~~’
The ringing cell phone pulled me out of my thoughts. I glanced at the caller and put the phone to my ear to refresh myself: "Third sister, how are you feeling today?"
"It's very good. I cleaned the room when he went to work. Many of my old things are still there. Now I've made dinner for him to eat when he comes back."
I smiled and said, "Dr. Han will definitely be surprised. Why is this taste so familiar? Don't expose too much at once, but penetrate it little by little. You know, let a modern doctor accept that you are the Rong Danfeng he loves."
It requires a process.”
"I know. Don't worry. I'm confident. But I'm worried about you. Are you comfortable living alone? What will you eat at night?"
“Eating outside, the food is very good!!”
I tried to sound relaxed and turned on the TV: "You don't know how cool I am. I'm lying on the sofa watching TV. Do you hear the sound? I haven't felt comfortable in a long time."
"It seems that today's affairs were handled smoothly."
Seeing what I said, San Meier's tone gradually relaxed.
"Of course. Is there anything wrong with my move? So easy!"
"Haha, I'll feel relieved if you do this. I'm afraid you'll feel lonely again, so I was thinking about going back to see you at night!"
"No, what do you have to worry about as an adult like me? It's you instead. I'm worried that you'll be too anxious and overly expressive, which will make Dr. Han think, wow, why does this fourteen-year-old child act in such an adult style?
That would be troublesome, you know, before Dr. Han approves you, don’t make adult jokes!"
San Meier laughed twice more: "Well, I know that I will accompany him and let him slowly accept me and accept me as San Meier. Have you ever heard of a saying, companionship is the best thing?
A long-lasting confession..."
I was shocked, my eyes dropped and I opened my mouth numbly: "Oh, I've heard of it."
"I will accompany him, oh, let's not talk about it for now, he seems to be back... Let's talk back to Jiaolong!!"
It wasn't until San Meier hung up on the phone for a long time that I remembered to take the phone off my ear, raised my eyes and looked at the ceiling, gritted my teeth and dialed the number I hadn't dialed for more than two years, listening and waiting with my heart in my hands.
After a long time, the ring tone was connected, and a voice suddenly came. I opened my mouth in surprise: "Hey, Cheng..."
"Sorry, the number you dialed is currently on a call, please call again later..."
After glancing at the phone, he must have hung up the call on me——
Unwilling to give up, I dialed again and the result was clear. The voice prompt turned off the phone.
I naturally understood his intention, and looked at the phone screen with a sad heart, "Even if you don't want to see me, at least let me know how you are doing..."
‘Bell~~~’
The phone rang on the screen. Before I could see the caller clearly, I pressed my finger to answer it. Before I could hold my breath and speak, there was a female voice over there, "Jiaolong."
"Xiao Shu?"
"It's me. Brother Cheng asked me to tell you that he is fine. You don't have to worry."
My eyes turned red uncontrollably, and I nodded: "He, is he by your side?"
"...Well, Brother Cheng, please have a word with Jiaolong..."
My heart tightened suddenly, and I finally heard a familiar voice: "No, she understands what I'm thinking, just let her know that I'm fine..."
Tears slipped out uncontrollably at that time. I covered my mouth and heard Xiao Shu respond, as if closing the door on the phone, and then continued: "Jiaolong, you don't have to worry about Brother Cheng, his body has recovered now."
Very good, but it’s you. Where have you been? I called you before but couldn’t get through... But Brother Cheng told me that when you called him, it means you are fine, Jiaolong.
, are you feeling well?"
I put the phone on the sofa and took a deep breath, then picked it up and continued, "I'm fine. Are Cheng Baize's eyes okay?"
Xiao Shu's voice paused for a moment before replying: "No...he can't see..."
"What?!"
I collapsed at that time: "How could it be possible? He..."
"Don't worry Jiaolong. At that time, not only was he hospitalized for treatment, Master Qi also used many methods. It could have been saved, but this result was chosen by Brother Cheng himself. He only said four words at that time, no, no
read."
I cried so much that I couldn’t speak. No see, no memory?
"Jiaolong, don't feel bad. In fact, this result is good. Brother Cheng has calmed down a lot in the past two years. Master Qi also said that after he put down some distracting thoughts, he became more peaceful. He also made breakthroughs in Taoism and became clear and clear.
He also studied Gu arts with Master Qi, but I don’t see any impact on his life. Master Qi is now semi-retired, and now Brother Cheng is much more famous than Master Qi here."
I don’t know why, but Cheng Baize’s sad face that night suddenly popped up in my mind, “This is the last time I see you, Jiaolong, if there is a next life, you must hide it well and don’t let me know you again.
…”
The last look, really the last look, Cheng Baize, if you are really calm, why don't you answer my call?
"Jiaolong, are you listening to me? I know you still hope that Brother Cheng can see with his eyes, but you think, this choice was made by Brother Cheng himself, and he must also hope that he can let it go. Don't be too entangled.
Master Qi understands him very well and said that this is the best result for him, and it is also the last thing he does for you as he bids farewell to his past."
"Is it... related to the dark wizard?"
"Well, Brother Cheng's fate was still connected with hers at that time. According to Master Qi, the initiative lies with Brother Cheng. If Brother Cheng doesn't want the light, it belongs to self-salvation. But when Yu Xiangling is blind, he will definitely
Triggering some backlash, because she has done too many evil arts, she will try her best to let herself see it, but Brother Cheng can't see it, all her methods are in vain, the more she wants to see herself, the more she will
The consequences of hurting yourself are nothing more than two. The first is that Yu Xiangling will die in your own hands one day. The second is that you come back to defeat her after recovering, but she will definitely become better than before after your own efforts.
She is much weaker, so it won't take much effort for you to defeat her...
We didn't know at that time whether you would recover, because I also saw that you were seriously injured at that time. Although Brother Cheng didn't say it, I knew that he was letting Yu Xiangling fend for himself in another way. You
She is the most important person in his heart. How could he see Yu Xiangling living well in the world and pose a threat to you? "
Suddenly I didn't know what to say, so I opened my mouth: "Thank you, Xiao Shu, thank you for helping to take care of my brother."
"Don't be so polite. Being able to see him every day is the happiest thing for me. Brother Cheng said that he likes it here very much. He can see every plant and tree clearly with his heart. Sometimes, you don't need to use your eyes to see things, just use your heart...
…”
After saying that, Xiao Shu's tone paused again: "Jiaolong, what we have to do is to give him time to let his heart completely settle down. I think this is what you want to see, right?"
Of course I understood what Xiao Shu meant, and I calmed down slightly: "Xiao Shu, tell Cheng Baize for me that I really thank him for everything he has done for me."
"I will. You have to take care of yourself. Only when you are well will Brother Cheng be relieved."
"Um……"
I put down the phone, raised my hand to wipe away my tears, and closed my eyes. Cheng Baize's face with dimples when he smiled was still very clear. I owe him what I owe him, and I will never be able to repay him in the next life.
After a long time, when I felt that I could control my emotions, I took a shower with my eyes swollen, and gradually made up my mind. After I deal with Yu Xiangling, I will go and see him, even if I just look at him from a distance,
I would be satisfied without letting him know that I was gone.