Gu Tingye hesitated for a moment, then nodded. Gu Tingyu stood up with difficulty. Mrs. Shao on the side hurriedly put away the handkerchief she was holding in tears. She hurriedly took a few steps forward to support her husband and then walked to the door first. (·~) Gu Tingye just took a step forward.
, as if he remembered something, he turned back to Minglan and wrote lightly: "You come too."
Minglan breathed a sigh of relief, immediately stood up, smiled and said goodbye to the women with a very standard "Pardon me" expression, and slowly followed the large army.
We walked all the way inside, heading straight to the westernmost side of the Hou Mansion. Fortunately, Xuanning Hall was originally on the west side, so we passed through two hanging flower doors and walked straight along a flower path, and we arrived.
Minglan looked up, lowered her head and pursed her lips slightly. She had no idea. She had already thought of it.
Gu's ancestral hall, with its towering roof ridges, flying eaves and large wrought iron fence painted with dark tung oil, surrounds the courtyard. Inside, there are two rows of five tall main halls facing each other. The north hall is the main hall and there are three more.
Baoxia and platform, the south hall is the auxiliary hall, with only small wing rooms on both sides. The four huge tung cypresses in the courtyard that cover the sky and the sun are located in the southeast, northwest and four directions. It is said that they were planted on the day when Ningyuan Marquis Mansion was established.
It means luxuriant branches and deep roots.
As soon as she walked in here, Minglan couldn't help but lower her head solemnly, feeling solemn. No one dared to laugh loudly.
The Gu family in Qingcheng was just an ordinary family in the local area, making a living as a fisherman, woodcutter and farmer. However, when the dynasty changed, wars broke out, the fields were deserted, and the people left their homes. And Qingcheng is located in a strategic area, a battleground for military strategists.
When he was young, his local brother enlisted in the army.
During the turmoil, the ancestor of the Gu family, Gu Shande, died trying to protect him. He left two brothers behind, so he was promoted to a young soldier. They fought for more than twenty years and fought bloody battles. The two brothers were brave and resourceful, made contributions to the dragon, and were awarded titles respectively.
Only then did the Gu family become famous.
After that, the Gu family focused on repairing the ancestral tombs and ancestral halls in their hometown, and sent several generations of brothers to Qingcheng to establish businesses. As a result, the Gu family is now an out-and-out wealthy family in Qingcheng; later, the Ningyuan Marquis Mansion and the Xiangyang Marquis Mansion were quarreling.
After a turmoil over the establishment of an heir, the Gu family simply built the ancestral temple in their hometown in Qingcheng, and then each of the two princes built an ancestral temple, both of which had the power to expel the clan or separate the family.
As a group of people walked into the courtyard, Gu Tingyu suddenly said to his wife beside him: "Just stay here with your brothers and sisters, and my second brother and I will go in." As he said this, he pushed away Mrs. Shao's hand and followed his close friend.
The maid handed over a cane. Gu Tingyu smiled mockingly, took the cane, picked up the cane with slightly shaking arms, and staggered into the north hall.
Gu Tingye looked back at Minglan and followed him.
There were two sisters-in-law and a little girl left in the courtyard. Mrs. Shao looked at the direction where Gu Tingyu was walking with a worried face, turned to Minglan and smiled reluctantly: "How about my sister and I go to the wing to have a cup of tea."
Minglan saw that she was thinking about her husband, so she smiled and said, "It's very cool here, and the sun doesn't shine at all, so I sat in the courtyard for a while and waited. What do you think, sister-in-law?"
Mrs. Shao kept staring at her husband's back as he slowly walked away, wondering how he was willing to leave. After hearing Minglan's words, she immediately breathed a sigh of relief and said, "That's very good. Shi Wen, you go..."
The little girl went away in response, and soon brought in two handfuls of vines and a small table, placed them under the shade of the tree, and went to prepare tea and snacks.
Seeing Mrs. Shao's sad face, Minglan wanted to comfort her, but she didn't know where to start. Mrs. Shao frowned and said: "... I wonder if there are seats inside to serve tea?"
Minglan was stunned and couldn't answer. Qiqi Ai Ai said: "I don't know about this. I've been there once." On the second day of the wedding, I sacrificed my ancestors, entered the ancestral genealogy, and recognized my ancestry. This was the only time.
.
Mrs. Shao looked at Minglan like a child who couldn't answer her husband's questions, with an annoyed look on her face. Even though she was feeling melancholy in her heart, she couldn't help but smile: "I've only been in there twice."
According to the rules of a large family of a prominent family, except for important events in the family, to avoid taboos for uncles and sisters-in-law, there are differences between men and women, and female relatives cannot enter the ancestral hall at will. Even during festivals, when ancestors need to be worshipped, men and women perform sacrifices separately in the north and south ancestral halls.
Worship activities.
The two sisters had just said a few words when they heard a soft sound. An old servant guarding the ancestral hall had gently closed the main door of the North Hall.
The huge and vast ancestral hall was dark, with only a few faint lights remaining on the high windowsills.
"Just light the lamp." Gu Tingyu said, "I don't have the strength."
Gu Tingye stepped forward and took out the flint and velvet wrapped in layers of oil paper from under the third wooden frame on the left side of the incense stand. He turned around neatly without looking at it. He seemed to be very familiar with the location of the things here.
He raised his hand to light the giant candles on the tall brass candlesticks on both sides. Such dim light did not slow him down even a step.
Gu Tingyu watched Gu Tingye put the flint back smoothly and couldn't help but sneered softly: "Speaking of this ancestral hall, I'm afraid you are not familiar with any of our brothers. [Ye*] [*]"
Gu Tingye staggered slightly and laughed at himself: "That's natural. A small punishment every three days and a big punishment every five days. It's inevitable to come here and kneel down. If you don't let him out until dark, the child who is afraid of the dark will
I have no choice but to touch the flint myself.”
As the candles lit up, the hall became much brighter, and everything was clean and smooth. I guess it was because it was wiped and cleaned from time to time. There was also a tea tray on the coffee table beside it. The ancestral hall used high-quality incense candles, and the shadows of light filled the air.
Sandalwood, looking around, there are memorial tablets of the ancestors of the Gu family standing on the incense table with a total of eight floors, six feet across and three feet up. The hall is high and wide, which was built to accommodate hundreds of Gu family brothers to worship their ancestors together.
At this time, there were only two brothers in this huge place.
Gu Tingye's eyes were fixed on the latest tablet on the incense table: the memorial tablet of Gu Gong.
Six simple words ended all the anger, injustice, grievances, and questions he had felt since childhood. From now on, he no longer had to question him. Everything was over.
A pair of nanmu plaques are hung on both sides of the tall pillars that go straight into the beams. Eight eye-catching characters are engraved deeply into the wood: An ancestor's virtue will last forever, and all generations will be prosperous. - using a round and solemn face.
Gu Youshan, the first generation of Ningyuan Marquis, loved the uninhibited cursive style throughout his life. When he was drunk, he could write "Jianjinjiu" in four cursive styles in one breath. People asked him: Why did he use a regular style of writing at this time?
He replied: For the rest of my life, I was a drunkard, reckless and reckless. Before I was buried, I just hoped that my grandson would be safe and that there would be no disaster.
Gu Tingye smiled.
He remembered that when he was forced to learn calligraphy as a child, his father would always use the example of his ancestor Youshan Gong to learn calligraphy on his own to encourage disobedient times. He would get bored after hearing it too much. He once bit his pen and muttered: "Learning cursive calligraphy? Don't do it just for writing."
No one would notice if I made a typo.
At that time, Gu Yan opened his eyes wide and raised his big palm high. He was about to strike down, but his hand still didn't come down. He also had a strange expression on his face, as if he wanted to curse and laugh at the same time. Xiao Tingye was not afraid, and actually did something strange.
Then he said: Father, did you think so when you were a child?
The result was that he was punished for copying "Encouragement to Learn" twenty times.
Gu Tingyu stood on the side leaning on his cane and kept looking at Gu Tingye quietly. In fact, among the three brothers, he and Gu Tingwei were more like the Qin family. Only Gu Tingye was the most like his father. Every move, every smile, every anger, and his age
The older they get, the more they resemble each other.
Did his father notice it early? That's why he paid so much attention to him.
"... Now that you are so successful, my ancestors and father would be very happy if they knew about it." His tone was sad, and he himself didn't know why he said this.
Gu Tingye raised the corners of his lips, as if teasing: "If the eldest brother can be in good health, I think my father will be even happier."
Gu Tingyu stared at him: "Since I was sensible, someone told me that my biological mother, Mrs. Qin, was killed by your mother. Not only that, but my illness was also the root of the disaster that was planted at that time."
Gu Tingye said calmly: "If anything bad happens in the house, it is our mother's fault. I already know this, and I use my eldest brother to remind me."
"Later I learned that I was already born when the treasury was depleted, and no one was to blame for my grievances." Gu Tingyu said calmly, "My mother was not good and she should not have given birth."
She risked her life to give birth to a husband who was deeply in love with her. In the end, she wasted herself and the baby was not very healthy.
Gu Tingye raised his eyebrows sarcastically: "Thank you, brother, for your understanding."
"You have a very good relationship with your siblings." Gu Tingyu didn't pay attention to his sarcasm, and suddenly said this without thinking, "If today, the family encounters a disaster and you are asked to divorce your wife and marry another, what will you do?"
"Brother, what you asked is really interesting." Did you abandon Minglan for this group of people? Gu Tingye couldn't help laughing,
"Ahem, of course, ahem, you won't do it for the sake of those people in Xuanning Hall right now." Gu Tingyu coughed lightly, he wiped his mouth with his handkerchief, and looked up at Gu Tingye, "What if it's father?
?Now if you are asked to divorce your wife and marry another in order to save your father's life, what will you do?!" At the last four words, he suddenly raised his voice, sharp as a sword, piercing into the heart of his opponent.
Gu Tingye was shocked and took a step back suddenly, then immediately stabilized himself. He always knew that his eldest brother was a very smart person, he could spy on people's hearts, look for opportunities when they were weak, and he was careful and thoughtful. If it wasn't for his poor health, he would be able to get it in one day.
When he became an official in the imperial court, Duan was a very powerful master.
When he was very young, his seemingly careless words could make his father furious with him, and he punished him even more severely. He suffered a lot from childhood to adulthood. ~
He narrowed his eyes slightly: "What exactly are you going to say?"
Gu Tingyu was panting heavily, and slowly leaned against the pillar, found a chair and sat down: "Yes, everyone in the Gu family can't help your mother, but not everyone is like this. Brother Xuan has been stealing there since he was a child.
I gave you several meals in the ancestral hall; when you were stopped outside the mourning hall, who spoke for you despite being beaten and scolded by your relatives? And...Father, he didn’t know that your mother had been wronged.
It doesn’t feel good either…”
It's okay not to say this. After hearing this, Gu Tingye became even more angry. He straightened his back, punched the pillar next to him with a heavy fist, and sneered arrogantly: "What if my father knows? These twenty-something people
Over the years, he hasn’t watched others use words to abuse my mother! Then use my mother to abuse me?! If he couldn’t bear it at all, why didn’t he even say a word?! Brother, I’m afraid he made a mistake, these are just a few words
Can you make me change my mind?"
Gu Tingyu didn't move at all and looked directly at the past: "It's not a roundworm, I know it. You have to feel your conscience, how has your father treated you over the years? My father is busy with military affairs, and it is good to have two hours of free time all day long. Almost all
To teach you civil and martial arts, he spent more than twice as much time on you as my third brother and I put together!"
I remember that after a busy day, my old father would always ask, "How is Tingye doing today?" and as soon as he received bad news, he would go after Gu Tingye and teach him a lesson.
Gu Tingyu couldn't help but feel severe pain in his heart. Although his father was kind to him, he was not very willing to stay with him. Sometimes when he looked at his face and frail body, his father would inevitably leave sadly.
"My father raised you like this. If he doesn't love you, what else could it be? Tell the truth. If what happened back then happened to you, what could you do if you had no choice but to do it?!" Gu Tingyu raised his voice and turned red.
With a pale face, he roared, "Think about how you treat your siblings today, and then think about your father!"
After all, self-control has become a habit for many years. Although Gu Tingye's heart was tumbling fiercely, he could still calmly answer: "I never think about 'what if'. I am not a father. I don't have so many worries. I will fall into a 'helpless' situation. This is
It shouldn’t be!”
As a general in charge of an army, it is not that when the situation is at the end of the line, it is better to sacrifice the front troops to charge or sacrifice the rear troops to come to the rear. Rather, we should not let this kind of "forced choice of sacrifice" situation happen at all.
As a caring eldest son, with an old father above him and a young brother below him, he only cares about being deeply affectionate with a sickly woman. At least he should think about the family situation, be prepared for danger in times of peace, and take precautions, even if he can't do it at the moment.
When withdrawing money, you also need to find a good excuse or pretext. As long as it is blocked for a while and delayed for a year and a half, Emperor Wu will pass away. The new emperor will be kind and plead a few words, and he will probably be able to figure it out slowly.
Thinking of the Da Qin family, although Gu Tingye knew that it was pitiful that she died young, he still couldn't help but feel bored. He could understand his father's deep love, but after all, she was a tomb woman after all. She had been married to the Gu family for nearly ten years, but she only knew that the wind, flowers, snow and moon hurt the spring and the autumn.
She didn't even know about the hidden dangers in her husband's family.
Such a weak girl should not marry her eldest grandson, nor should she be a clan daughter-in-law; if she is a responsible and smart girl, she will never become a burden to her husband, just like... Minglan.
He suddenly felt soft in his heart. He turned his eyes to his brother, with a hint of cruelty in the corner of his mouth, and sneered: "I understand what the eldest brother meant when he brought me to the ancestral hall. However, he asked me to reflect on my ancestors and father. I can just say a word.
If I don't help you in this matter, the Gu family will not decline if it is left to its own devices."
Gu Tingyu stared at him fiercely, but Gu Tingye did not flinch. The two brothers of the same blood were like two masters meeting opponents, competing for wisdom and scheming to see who could outlast the other.
After a while, Gu Tingyu let out a long sigh, leaned back on his chair, pointed at the incense table and said, "There is a box over there, go and take a look."
Gu Tingye's handsome eyes flashed a ray of light coldly, and he walked to the incense table.
This was a large, dark and heavy wooden box, more than a foot wide and two feet long, with four corners covered with gold and inlaid with jade. It was nothing like that. As soon as Gu Tingye touched it, he was surprised to find that it was actually the extremely precious agarwood golden nanmu. It was so big.
A box is worth ten thousand gold.
The lock has already been opened. Turn the lid of the box to look inside. On the bright yellow background, there is a scroll with two ears. The golden yellow silk thread is embroidered with dragon and phoenix patterns, and is decorated with auspicious clouds, cranes and lions. It is an imperial edict.
There was another dark object on the side. It was a thick arched piece of iron with vertical characters engraved on it, filled with cinnabar, and the front page was inlaid with gold.
Gu Tingye was slightly stunned, it was an iron certificate of alchemy.
Usually, it was only taken out during festivals and put on the incense table to worship. Sun kneeling behind could not see it at all; this was also the first time he saw this treasure of the Gu family.
"Take out the iron coupon and look at the first four words on it." Gu Tingyu said with difficulty.
The iron coupon of the Alchemy Book was originally a hollow barrel. On the day when the knighthood was announced, it was cut in half from the middle, and the court and the prince's family each held one half. Therefore, the heavy iron piece that fell into Gu Tingye's hand was shaped like a tile.
Gu Tingye slowly turned the iron piece and moved his eyes to the beginning of the volume. At the front, there were four dignified characters carved in gold: Founding of the Republic and Fuyun.
Gu Tingyu raised his head and looked at the many memorial tablets standing tall on the incense table. The shadows under the candlelight overlapped into half of a jungle of thorns, falling on the Gu brothers, and even their faces could not be seen clearly.
"The ancestor Shan Degong, who was a humble and humble person, came to know Taizu. He left a widow and a young wife and died. Youshan Gong made more outstanding achievements. After that, Taizu marched eastward, Taizong conquered Nurgan in the west, and Nanping Miao
Secretary, Sanjing Beijiang, Gu family brother gave up a total of eleven lives on the battlefield... I don’t need to say these."
"I know your plan." Gu Tingyu said breathlessly, stroking his chest, and continued, "My father married your biological mother and gave birth to you just for the sake of the Hou family. You hate and complain, so you just want to
Seeing the collapse of the Ningyuan Marquis Mansion, seizing the title and ruining the title, going to jail for those who deserve it, and exile for those who deserve it; let your long-standing grievances go out. After ten or eight years, you slowly accumulated military merit.
, the emperor will grant you another title, and then you will be able to honor the Gu family and honor your ancestors! Those who wronged you will either die or fall into despair, and you will take revenge on them!"
Gu Tingyu laughed as he spoke, laughing until he was breathless: "But the emperor can't just take my title away from you. Even if there is a crime, it will inevitably be suspected of bullying a weak brother and widower. The emperor's reputation is the most important, and he will not
Yes, for your sake, he won’t do it either. But you can’t swallow this breath, so you simply drain the fire and kill Ning Yuanhou! Isn’t that right?”
Gu Tingye looked at his brother who was laughing wildly, coldly and without saying a word.
"But, but, have you ever thought about it..." Gu Tingyu finally stopped laughing and looked sad, "will the iron certificate of the alchemy book you get again after many years have these four words on it?"
"It has been so many years. During the reign of Emperor Taizu, so many heroes were purged. During the 'Nine Kings Rebellion' when Emperor Taizong came to the throne, then several sects rebelled, and large-scale imprisonments were launched. Even now...many of the founding heroes have been kidnapped and their titles have been taken away! You
Do you know that in today’s world, how many Youjue families still hold such iron certificates of elixirs?”
Gu Tingyu suddenly became excited, "I tell you, there are only eight families! Eight families! The rest, whether they are upright civil servants or Xuanli heroes, are not worth mentioning in front of our family! We are truly of the same blood and have never broken.
Yes! Even the Marquis of Xiangyang’s Mansion doesn’t have this, so what is the Shen family that is so red and purple now?”
He exerted force, suddenly rushed to Gu Tingye, grabbed Gu Tingye's front with his skinny hands, and yelled: "Why do you think you got the important job? When the new emperor just came to the throne, you only led a team of men.
When you go to pick up the defense, the Jiangdu camp also obeys your orders obediently; there are so many cronies around the emperor who also received military talismans and imperial edicts to pick up the military affairs. Except for the emperor's uncle who also gave you some noodles, which one is as smooth as you?
! You sent troops faster than others and convinced the public earlier than others, so you can make great achievements! Let me tell you, because your surname is Gu! Several generations of the Gu family have been buried in the army! Because your surname is Gu! You..."
Gu Tingyu ran out of breath and coughed violently, shaking so much that he almost fell to the ground. Gu Tingye looked indifferent and didn't know what he was thinking. He picked up his brother and put him back on his seat. He poured a glass of water from the tea tray and handed it to him.
Gu Tingyu coughed so hard that he almost bleeds. He pressed it down with tea and panted hard, and then he gradually calmed down. He looked at the iron-green alchemy certificate on the incense table, his eyes gradually became moist, and he whispered:
"When the incident happened, my father had already reached the rank of captain of the Zuojun Army. Both Emperor Wu and the late emperor, who was the emperor at that time, thought highly of him. Even if he lost his title, he always had a bright future. He eventually left my mother behind.
, for, these four words.”
Gu Tingye remained silent.
When he was a child, he saw his father hiding in the study more than once, crying bitterly in front of the portrait of the Da Qin family.
The candlelight stretched the shadows of the two brothers. One was tall and strong, while the other was hunchbacked. Gu Tingyu stared at his own shadow on the ground in disgust, and suddenly felt relieved. After all, over the years, he had been hurt because of the past.
Resentful, or jealous for the present? But now, there is nothing to care about.
"I know that you are unfair to your biological mother. As a human being, this is understandable." When he spoke again, Gu Tingyu felt peaceful in his heart, "But you not only have a mother, but also a father. You are half flesh and blood. Your surname is Gu, and you are the Ningyuan Marquis Mansion.
of."
"I will not establish an heir. As for how long it will take, you can ask Dr. Zhang. I think it won't be many days." Gu Tingyu's withered face was like pine branches on an isolated cliff. "You can inherit the title naturally.
It's up to you to deal with the gang of people outside. They have been under the wings of my father for many years, and they are full of arrogance. With the methods you have today, it is not difficult to find some reasons to manipulate them. "
Hearing this, Gu Tingye laughed out loud and raised the corners of his lips sarcastically: "I wonder when the eldest brother understood it like this? I think back then, the eldest brother was as good as a father to his fourth and fifth uncles."
Especially when dealing with him, he stirred up dissension, fanned flames, and cooperated flawlessly.
It wasn't that Gu Tingyu couldn't understand the meaning of these words. He just said lightly: "When people are about to die, they always see more clearly. Besides, I already know who they are."
"You don't care about your wife and daughter? You just want to protect the Gu family's title." Gu Tingye said sarcastically, "Sure enough, the Gu family is a good grandson."
"Your sister-in-law is nice to you, and you won't embarrass her. You are not that kind of person." Gu Tingyu answered simply, "My younger siblings have been here for the past few days, and I think they are very generous."
Gu Tingye secretly said, this person is still playing tricks at this time.
"The eldest brother is very eloquent, but the younger brother has nothing to say." Gu Tingye smiled coldly, "However, I am the bad guy of the Gu family, and just for those four words, I have to swallow my anger for these years.
, Brother, it’s too light to say it. That’s right, after all, it’s not you who suffers.”
"I was the one who was kidnapped by my father and almost sent to the clan's mansion; I was the one who was wrongfully accused when Gu Tingyang defiled the girl in his father's room and forced her to commit suicide; Gu Tingbing owed a gambling debt to a prostitute and colluded with a brothel gambling house.
, the IOU was written in my name, and my father almost broke my bones; I was so angry that I went to the brothel and gambling house to confront him, but instead I got into endless troubles, got a ridiculous reputation all over my body, and my father was so angry that he vomited blood.
I got angry and became more and more violent... In the end, my father was sad and disappointed; it was me who was kicked out of the house."
Gu Tingye spoke very softly, almost murmuring to himself, "...At that time, how many people in the Gu family spoke for me? Brother Xuan said it a few times, but later he didn't dare to, especially when it related to his family.
Brother; someone else, hum…"
The dim and vast ancestral hall fell into silence, and the two brothers remained silent for a long time.
After a long time, Gu Tingyu sighed: "I am about to die, but I just follow my father's instructions and try my best to protect the lintel of the Gu family. Whether you want to be angry or avenged, there is no other way.
, don’t, don’t destroy the Gu family’s century-old foundation.” At the end of his words, he became weaker and weaker, almost begging. He was extremely weak and overwhelmed: “I have said everything that needs to be said, and the rest is up to you.
Think about it..."
Gu Tingye raised his head and looked straight at the two large paintings at the top of the incense table, which were the portraits of the first Ningyuan Marquis Gu Youshan and his wife.
When the sons of the Gu family grow up, most of them have a pair of deep brows, which are pressed against the flying and straight eyebrows, as if all their emotions are locked in a thick forbearance.
He suddenly remembered that humiliating day when he finally entered the mourning hall and took one last look at his father across the coffin. In his eyes when he was young, he thought his father was as tall and burly as a mountain, but he was so thin and thin.
Before the age of fifteen, he lived with low self-esteem and stubbornness, feeling that he was inferior to others; after meeting Aunt Chang, he learned the truth about his biological mother marrying into the Gu family, and was filled with resentment as hot as spewing lava, but could not express it.
, he even secretly hated his father. He became aggressive and unruly whenever he spoke, and the quarrel between his father and his father became even more tense.
He knew that he couldn't believe what Gu Tingyu said. Didn't he still know what kind of person he was from childhood to adulthood?
If he really inherited his eldest brother's title, could he treat his widowed sister-in-law badly?
And if they really seize the title, the other house will be fine. At least there are men here, but they, orphans and widowed mothers, can only live with relatives in other families, and there is no good fruit to eat; only the Ningyuan Marquis Mansion will always stand tall.
By bearing the name of the weak daughter of the late marquis' widow, they can live a good life of being respected and enjoying wealth.
Not to mention Sister Xian's marriage, it's even more different.
Today, he is no longer the Erlang of the Gu family who could bully or deceive at will. He can see clearly what they are thinking, and he also understands it in his heart.
Gu Tingyu wants to arrange his funeral arrangements and take care of his wife and daughter's future, does he have to be obedient?
Unknowingly, there was a bright light above his head, and he had walked out of the ancestral hall. He was greeted by a familiar and bright face, full of anxiety and worry; he liked her eyes the most, so clean and calm, without dust.
Behind us is a dark past, and in front of us is a bright and clear future.
The author has something to say:
I almost vomited blood while writing this chapter. I deleted and rewritten it several times. I especially admire those masters who can write plots with tension and depth. It’s so difficult.
I got up in the middle of the night to write while I could rest.