I mean, after I hung up the phone at Jintang, I started to prepare for bed. I looked at the sky outside the window. There were so many stars. The stars in the sky were very bright. It seemed that tomorrow would be another bright sunny day. There were stars in the sky.
Who is it waiting for, whose master is it, and who is it falling over?
I poured myself a glass of red wine before going to bed. The doctor ordered me to drink red wine, which helps me sleep and relax my whole body. I drank the half glass of wine and sat
I looked at the moonlight outside the window carefully. The moonlight was really beautiful. Fortunately, there were occasionally a few insects chirping. Everything seemed very quiet. It seemed that I was carrying everything on my back, and it looked very much like an oil painting.
generally.
I stood with my back against the window.
This is rare, so I spend time alone. In this beautiful time, sometimes I haven’t been alone for a long time. I talk to myself naturally by myself, enriching the deepest side of my soul.
Sometimes I feel confused when talking to another person who is unfamiliar with me. Sometimes I like to look at myself when I am alone like this, as if I am talking to another person. This feeling is very strange and weird.
, but it is beautiful.
This period of time has been shaky. There have been many things that have not been dealt with. There are also many things that have not been alone. I have allowed my mind to settle down properly. Ever since the incident at Jiangnan Inn, I have really been in a kind of state.
High tension, high excitement and high, happy moments have never allowed me to relax my body and mind. Today is really a rare day. Let yourself be alone with yourself in these past moments on this happy day.
I took a sip of wine.
I felt the gentlemanly feeling as the wine flowed down my throat, and I suddenly felt regretful in my mouth. The feeling was very beautiful, as if I had a sudden drunken feeling. It felt like
It's like marshmallow, it doesn't make people feel uncomfortable, but it makes people feel a sense of relief.
Really, the stars in the sky are so bright. I have been in this city for almost 5 years without realizing it. A lot of things have happened in these 5 years. There are many things that I didn’t want to do in these 5 years.
, there are also some things that I don’t have to face, but I can’t say that the past five years must have been smooth sailing. I have indeed encountered many, many things in the past five years. If it weren’t for the mutual support and support of Luo Zhenzhen,
He can help me in every matter and save the day. Maybe there will be no more cat Jiujiu like me in this world.
After coming out of the hospital, it seems that nothing has happened in so many years. Looking back now, it is not particularly important or special. I feel like it is very painful, as if everything that happened in the past has happened.
, it seems to be a calm breeze, and when I think back, it seems that there really is such a thing. Now if I think back carefully and carefully, it seems that everything is not as easy as I imagined, and a period of time passes like turning over a leaf.
There are some thrilling scenes and some insurmountable panic.
Yes, 5 years have passed. These 5 years are considered to be one of the best times for me, including the time in the orphanage. These times are vividly engraved on me every day and every year, especially at this time, sometimes
When people are alone, they will think about a lot of things, things from the past, and things they don’t know. This feeling seems to be a kind of exploration, or a desire to go to the unknown.
Want to know something.
Since the three kidnappers captured me, some of the conversations I had later, although I didn't take it seriously, of course I believed that what they said could not be true. It was also a strategy to get me to cook with them.
, or they wanted to catch some reason from me and ask me to do this for them, but what they said caused a slight wave of waves deep in my heart.
For example, they talked about my parents.
I have never thought about my parents seriously. When I was in the orphanage, I always thought that I was an orphan, and I was indeed an orphan. I remember that the director used to hate me so much. He hated my elders.
Big, her mother is a vixen. In her eyes, I am a worthless person. She even hates my parents. Sometimes I feel that she is even afraid of this kind of hatred from my parents.
Between the fear and fear, her mood was confusing.
Of course, I have never seriously thought about this issue, because I have never gotten a clear idea on it, or I don’t think this is an important matter, so I refuse to think about it.
But now it is the dead of night, and when a person is alone, he will inevitably think of a lot of things that belong to him, or he will think about some very confusing things, such as why this issue is mentioned, why am I in my mind now?
Suddenly I thought of my parents. I became mother and daughter with my parents. In what way did they really abandon me? Was it really heartless?
Or do they really have a difficulty that they cannot express?
Or maybe they are just two refugees in this war-torn place. In order to survive and for me, they wanted to get a bite of food, so they chose to abandon me in the orphanage, hoping that the orphanage would bring me a bite of food.
Can I survive?
Or maybe they think it’s because they don’t like me, they think I’m a girl, they think I’m a burden to their lives, maybe they think my appearance has caused chaos in their lives, and they want to get me back to their original status.
Could life be like this?
Or maybe they themselves are people who don't love each other, and their union itself was a mistake, so they were in the wrong situation, and neither of them were willing to take responsibility for me, so they abandoned me in the future.
Do you think that from now on they can live here cleanly without any ties?
Maybe it's not what I imagined. Maybe they are two people who love each other. Then they gave birth to me. Maybe my mother had an accident and my father followed her. The two of them went there for love.
They died for their love, but before they died for their love, they placed the crystallization of their greatest love in the orphanage, so if he did what they wanted to do for their love, might that be the case?
These are all uncompromising things that developed in my brain out of this longing, but I don't know what kind of situation made them really abandon me in the orphanage.
No one told me the real answer, and I didn’t particularly try to understand what this thing was. It was only after the above picture was brought up yesterday that I suddenly remembered that I also have parents.
It turns out that I am also a child. It turns out that I am also a child born by others. I did not exist in this society from the beginning. I was not brought by wild beasts in some places. In fact, I am also a very real child.
I shook my head hard, because now I felt like I had poured another glass of wine into my stomach. I thought the wine here was really delicious. I drank another half of the bottle of wine without realizing it, and my head became more and more dizzy.
I am really a good thing. With this thing, I can think randomly. I feel like I don’t have to think so much about my special life.
I don’t know why I suddenly remembered something like this. Maybe I have never forgotten those things. I was once a parent.
Whether they are still alive, whether they are watching this market, I have no news at all, I will look for them, I don’t know, if they suddenly appear in front of me one day, I will recognize them, I hate them very much, touch.
Have they been with us for so many years? Am I really like this? I really don’t know, because this thing has not happened to me, and I don’t want to consider how this thing will be an unpredictable process. Maybe
It is true that only when this thing really happened can we really face it, and it was also the real feeling at that time.
But now I don't feel this way, because I can't get these feelings now. This feeling is too luxurious for me.
I was thinking about drinking all the time, and I was about to hit the bottom before I knew it. Ah, it was really good to drink this bottle of wine today. I should keep this bottle of wine in the house.
Because Jintang, maybe I drink these wines because I think it’s really good. He knows me very well and doesn’t know that when I have something, it takes a long time to relieve my stress. Then I know that he put this bottle of wine here intentionally.
Yes, he can understand me, how similar we are in this situation.
In a daze, I held the wine glass and said to the moon.
"Raise a glass to the bright moon, and become one with the shadow. I don't know how to write any bullshit poetry. Okay, I'll raise a toast to the moon. Just toast to me. You are so wonderful today, and I will try my best to avoid disaster today. Let's
Let’s have a drink, let’s make each other happy.”
I poured the last glass of wine into the glass.
He raised his head and drank it all.
It’s really a good bottle of wine, a top-notch wine. It seems that Jintang is really willing to give everything for me.
I staggered to the sofa and lay down on all fours, babbling and singing a song that I didn't even understand.
At this moment, it doesn't matter about the wind, rain or moon, it only matters whether you feel comfortable or not.
In a daze, I opened my eyes and looked at the moon outside the window. The moon was still so bright, as if it had not changed at all. He was still smiling as if he was looking at me, still talking to me, just like a friend.
generally.
I smiled darkly at the moon.
"Moon, Moon, you are such an interesting good friend. You do your things in the sky so seriously every day. It seems that you are also a very good person. I am in a good mood today, very smooth and lonely. I feel so lonely.
It’s so rare, now the whole world seems to be just me and you here, and the two of us are the whole world.”
"Moon, Moon, I really want to ask you, who are my real parents? Although I have never met them, I am lonely. Sometimes I dream about what they look like. I don't know what they look like.
Like this, they are blurry in my dream, I really want to see their true appearance..."