You have forgotten when you started to realize that you are different. Just like everyone grows up from infancy, you will gradually forget when you experienced the feeling of walking for the first time, speaking for the first time, speaking for the first time.
The feeling of riding in a car for the first time, holding hands for the first time, or even kissing for the first time. In short, I have certainly forgotten the feeling of someone calling me Baoshu for the first time.
Well, my name is Xie Baoshu.
My personal background is actually quite simple. To put it simply, I have no background. To be honest, I actually made a series of inferences when I grew up. For example, my parents died in a car accident shortly after I was born, and then
The only relative who raised me, an old woman who made a living by collecting rags, died when I was five or six years old. In this way, I became an orphan.
My gender is male, and my date of birth is March 27, 1980. Of course, the authenticity of this date cannot be verified. As mentioned before, we have to forget many things in our lives. I also forgot when this date began.
It is deeply ingrained in my mind, but in any case, it became my birthday, and for many years to come, it even stayed with me throughout my life.
After I became an orphan, I started to go to elementary school. I have no memory of the transition in between. For example, why an orphan was not sent to an orphanage, why he could still go to elementary school, where the initial tuition fees came from, and what parent-teacher conferences should be done.
Whoever goes, the impression will be weak. A child will not question these things, and naturally he will not leave too deep memories in the future. As for me, what I can do at this time is probably just relying on that broken memory to tell the story.
If you tell these stories, please forgive me if they are unreasonable. After all, this is just an incomplete memory belonging to a child.
Of course, there are always some things that need to be briefly mentioned. After elementary school, I made a living by picking up rags and lived in a dangerous building on the outskirts of the city. It was a five-story old building. Most of the doors and windows were dilapidated.
The fence was erected in my memory for a full ten years, but in the context of the economic depression, the construction team never came. Apart from me, there were no permanent residents in the building, and beggars occasionally came.
After staying for a few days, occasionally some ignorant children came in to look for some random things, but in any case, the "Dangerous Building" sign on the lawn outside the building made many people afraid to stay for a long time.
A few years later, the society was gradually affected by the openness. Some young men and women who had watched too many Hong Kong movies came to the dilapidated building, hugging and kissing, or taking off their clothes and doing strange things. Once, the place where I lived was even damaged.
It was a mess. Two years later, the dilapidated building collapsed, and three of these people were crushed to death. I had already moved out at that time. God was wise. But why three? I used to be puzzled.
After a brief explanation, let us go back to the beginning: I have forgotten when I started to realize that I am different. This kind of difference is not ordinary difference. I know this sentence is very abstract, but how to say it...
…
During the days when I lived in a dangerous building, I always lived in a room on the third floor. The balcony faced a Chinese chrysanthemum tree. The top of the tree was about one meter higher than the balcony railing. I had stepped on it countless times.
Railing, jump to the top of the tree, use your strength, and fly into the sky.
Yes, it is like that.
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To some extent, I am a different person from everyone else. This difference is so obvious that I felt confused about it for a long time. I can fly and push walls.
It can destroy huge rocks and even make people stop breathing.
There are a lot of things I can do, which may sound exciting, but in fact, for a long time, this ability only brought me fear and loneliness. Why is it that everyone around me can't fly but only me?
Can it fly? Why are there so many differences even though they look the same? The answer that can be deduced is to choose one of the two.
Monsters are all around you!
You are a monster!
After my grandma passed away and left me alone, I huddled in the dark corner of the room every night, with chaotic thoughts in my mind. Surrounded by such chaos, I did not become a perverted murderer. This has always made me
It's a fortunate thing, but as the ability continues to increase, the fear also deepens.
For example, at first, I could only use my strength to jump from the top of a tree to the uninhabited grass outside the fence, and then I had to go back in a long circle. Soon after, I was able to jump directly from the grass back to the balcony.
, in the end, I could fly directly from the top of the tree and go wherever I wanted to go without any restrictions. The place I went to most at that time was a national pig farm not far from the dangerous building, and the lights were brightly lit below.
While the breeders were pouring feed into the pens one by one and making noisy grunts, I sat on the roof covered with tiles and tarpaulins and meditated. Looking back now, it was really a strange childhood.
The fear of being different from the people around me plagued me throughout my childhood, which eventually led to my character becoming extremely cowardly during that period. I didn’t dare to fight back when I was bullied, because once I wanted to fight back, I would have a fear in my mind.
The sight of the other party being beaten to pieces and with blood flying everywhere was a clearly foreseeable sight, and then he was first frightened and cried. Over time, he earned the name of a "coward".
In this way, after gradually understanding that others cannot become like me, I began to try my best to get closer to ordinary people. When I was outside, I tried to forget the strange things about myself. I did what others did, and how others lived, I
I just try my best to live my life. Even if I pick up rags, I never use those strange abilities to help me in the slightest. Life is indeed difficult like this. I can’t get the delicious things I see occasionally. One day, I finally find that I have become
It was only after I entered high school that I became a completely ordinary person, one who would never be looked at in a crowd.
I try to forget that I am a monster during the day. Every night, flying into the sky is still my best pastime. I spend most of my time hanging on the roof of the pig farm. When I fly high, the weather gets cold, so I often wrap myself in thick clothes.
Arm yourself with thick cotton clothes, scarves or tattered helmets you picked up. As you gradually rise into the sky, you look at the houses and the city gradually shrinks under your feet. Finally, the bright places gather in large areas, and then the river,
Mountains and forests are gradually surrounding me. It feels very quiet and lonely, but I have long been used to it.
For a while, I tried to find my own kind. I flew along the road, hiding in the darkness above the rice fields on both sides of the road, following cars with lights at a distance, or going along rivers to neighboring cities. I knew from
Diving down from the bridge into the water used to be one of my favorite feelings. Free fall, the wind howling, the water surface that doesn't look very wide from above suddenly expands and spreads out. You pull up your body at the last moment, and the river is right under you.
, "Wow--" You rush out of the water. It feels like you are gliding at high speed, with an unprecedented smoothness. However, the timing of pulling up your body needs to be grasped well. If it is too early, it will not feel enough, or too much.
It's too late... Well, once I was a little too late. I fell into the water and my whole body felt like it was turned into a pulp. It felt like my body was torn apart from the outside to the inside. I couldn't swim and almost drowned. At night
I cried and went home to take a shower and sleep. I caught a cold when I went to school the next day and was sent to the hospital by my teacher.
I have also tried falling directly from the sky, but if it is too high, the wind will cut it like a knife. In the end, I feel that the height of the bridge is the best.
In short, I went to nearby cities to look for similar people who can fly, or people who are different, but after all, this kind of difference cannot be seen on the surface, everyone is the same, and I am still alone at night
Flying - even if there is another flyer in this night sky, the chance of meeting him is too slim after all.
The search was actually aimless, more just to look farther in the sky and see the lights of every house in the sky. In the warm yellow light, they gathered in rooms one after another.
In the room, we were playing around, watching TV, and there were also quarrels or fights. I didn’t dare to look too close and always tried to hide away. But in short, such a scene would make people feel very magical. In every room, there are
One or more episodes of life are going on. When there is no TV, I regard them as my own TV.
I didn’t dare to walk too far for fear of not being able to find my way home, which would make me late for school the next day. Although my grandma once told me to call the police if I got lost, even when I was young,
I also understand that it is useless to go to the police uncle. It is going too far after all, and the opportunity to go to school is really too precious for me. For me as a child, these things do not need to be explained.
, but I can just understand that it is really too precious...
During this period of time, I learned a way to protect myself. I can gather the wind in the surrounding air and wrap it around myself. In this way, when I fly into the sky, I will not be blinded by the wind, and I can also
It won't be as cold as before. Even if I jump from the bridge, I can gather the wind at the last moment, and then I hit the water like a cannonball, bouncing up like a sponge, and the water splashed down on me.
The splash behind was like a cannonball hitting a river - many years later I realized that those things were actually not wind, they were energy gathered in the air. Wind cannot solidify, but...whatever...
I started to be able to feel these things in the air, and then spent a few months installing a "beacon" that could be sensed in my home, so that I could run around without any worries, even to the ends of the world.
I can't find it myself. Of course, most of the time, I still have to carry a small backpack and push the tricycle left by my grandma to pick up rags. Every more than a week, I go to Uncle Chen's on the nearby street to buy some rice and vegetables.
I buy it once a day or two. Occasionally when I go home from school and go to the market, I can pick up leftover vegetable leaves. Many of them are good. Sometimes some uncles and aunts will give me some. There are also pots left by grandma in dilapidated buildings.
Ah, stove, I can also cook rice and vegetables.
If you just want to live, everything will become very simple.
I have been to many places, although I don’t know what they should be called. When children of the same age were still dreaming about the sea through books, I had already seen the ocean, big cities, and various mountains and rivers.
Ah, I was shocked when I saw the sea for the first time. Even in the dark night, it was covered with dark clouds, thunder and lightning and heavy rain fell, and the waves were rough below. I tried to fly in, and there was endless violence all around.
With the darkness, lightning seemed to flash across not far from my body, and the space was torn apart. But no matter what, these are precious memories that make me proud. Of course, if I talk about it with children of the same age, they all
I don't believe it.
"That dirty guy is bragging again!"
Actually I'm not dirty, it's just that my clothes are a little worn out. I wash them all the time and they don't smell good. After my grandma passed away, she didn't have many things left for me. There was an auntie who made clothes nearby and she gave them to me one after another.
A few pieces of clothes. Although I also gave her the money I saved, I know that the money is probably not enough. If I go out to pick up rags, I will put on a special "work clothes", but even so, they still call her that
I.
I have no friends, and I have no luck in finding similar things - even though I have flown to many, many places. When I was twelve years old, I had just finished the third grade of elementary school, and I began to think about creating a companion who could talk to me.
.
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Creating companions is not so much a sacred thing to me as a completely whimsical thing. I just thought about it. As for the beginning, it was purely a joke. I was looking for things in the garbage mountain, and then
I wonder if they can become part of a human being, and if they can come to life. If Nuwa Empress is made of mud, what should I use? I can't use mud. In fact, I tried it, but it doesn't work.
In short, as long as you can speak from the beginning.
This is what I thought at the time, because I had no clue about creating humans, so I lowered my standards a little, but of course I still had no clue. I collected everything I thought was beautiful: beautiful marbles, pebbles picked up by the river, glass
, mirrors, various metal products, perfumes, flowers and all kinds of messy things that I have forgotten how many there are... Can you imagine what it is for? I put these things in a cardboard box for a TV
, I made some attempts that I thought were very creative in my child’s mind, and expected to make a life. It’s really incredible to think about it now, but one day, it came to life.
Many years later, I read a story. At the end of the 19th century, scientists encountered difficulties in studying a problem called blackbody radiation. They derived two sets of formulas, one of which was valid for objects in the long-wavelength range, and the other only
It is effective in the short wave range. A man named Max Planck also encountered difficulties in studying this problem, so he decided to give up the in-depth investigation of theoretical research and first tried to piece together a set of universal formulas. He used mathematics
After trying the interpolation method for several days, he finally came up with an empirical formula that seemed to be like that. After that, he published this formula that seemed to be a "guess" and achieved astonishing perfection in the experiment.
Proof. When people began to try to study the physical meaning hidden behind this formula, the quantum theory laws hidden inside the formula finally appeared in front of people like a ghost, and in the following decades, directly overturned the classics.
The magnificent empire that physics has created over hundreds of years.
The world is so interesting sometimes.
I was probably only a little better than Planck. I didn't know why or why at the time, but I got the result. Although at the beginning, the result was not perfect.
I created... an ooze...
This is probably because I crave jelly more during that time.
Whether it's an ooze monster or a jelly, it's all white and packed in that cardboard box. Although it doesn't move very much at first, I can feel that it has come to life.
It is about the size of a pillow and does not have a very specific shape. If it is released, it will probably curl up into a ball and not fall apart. I will take it out at night. Its body is cool and it is getting colder and colder.
The more elastic it is, I once wanted to use it as a pillow, but at dawn, it always sleeps in my arms. In order to teach it to speak, I often point to myself and say: "My name is Xie Baoshu!" This goes on day by day.
In the past, when it started to get colder in autumn, it gradually had eyes and a mouth, could say the single tone "yiyiyiya", and could bounce its body around and do some lengthening and shortening movements.
I still have no friends in school, and I still have to go out to pick up rags after school. Every day I cook and give half of the food to it - it can eat, and its body is growing up gradually. I hold it in my arms at night.
I took it out to play in a big cardboard box and put it on an uninhabited hillside and let it roll around for a while. However, I chose an uninhabited deep mountain forest. There were dark holes and the sounds of animals all around. I was also a little scared. Every time
The first time I took it back, it seemed a little reluctant, but there was nothing I could do about it. I still had to sleep and go to class tomorrow.
In November of 1992, it spoke for the first time: "My name is Xie Baoshu." The voice was milky and sounded like a girl, probably because I imitated elementary school every time I said this to it.
In the tone of a first-grade female teacher, I said: "My name is Xie Baoshu, your name is..."
Now that she can talk, I probably have to think of a name for her.
That night I went through the old newspapers I had collected, and finally found a name that I liked most at the time.
"Your name is... Jian Suyan! My name is Xie Baoshu."
"Your name is Jian Suyan." She learned quickly, "My name is Xie Baoshu!"