Thick cloud shadows slowly pressed down from the hazy sky, and raindrops continued to fall, and the breeze chilled the body. Shasha held an umbrella and stood quietly in the rain, silently looking at the white silhouette in front of the tombstone in the distance, motionless.
.The beautiful figure's umbrella has fallen to the ground, and was blown gently by the wind. Her whole body was shrouded in hazy rain and mist, and her right hand gently touched the tombstone. Her thin figure trembled slightly in the rain, as soft and weak as catkins.
, it seems that it will float away with the wind and rain at any time.
Shasha watched quietly for a while, then turned around and walked towards the gate of the cemetery. Her red leather shoes hit the bluestone floor, making small splashes of water.
The rain was getting heavier and heavier. Shasha stepped out of the door, walked a few steps and then stopped. She looked back at the huge high wall surrounding the cemetery. The hazy figure that had just been quiet and trembling seemed to still be shaking in front of her eyes. "You are crying like that.
It seems like this is the first time I see Lingjing." Shasha thought. Just now, she wanted to go up and say hello and say "Long Jing no see", but her feet were always nailed to the same place and could not move.
No, it was as if there were invisible chains in the dense rain that tied my whole body tightly. Inexplicable fear rose in my heart, telling myself not to step forward, not to step forward, not to step forward. It was this kind of fear.
, I have not contacted Lingjing again for four years, I have never returned to Jianghai, I have never set foot in the old residence of the Shazhu Gang, and I have never returned to the small rental house of the past.
Shashala opened the door, fell on the large seat, and closed the door heavily. At that moment, the whole world was isolated, the glass was washed away by the heavy rain and became blurry, and the world outside the car followed with a sense of unreality.
The rain curtain was twisting. She turned on the car radio casually. The radio station had long been fixed on the jazz frequency, and then the long and gentle sound of the French horn floated in the car, light and graceful.
In fact, Shasha doesn't like jazz. In fact, she doesn't like all Western music, but she dare not listen to domestic music radio stations because she is always afraid of hearing those familiar melodies, those melodies he once sang while riding a bicycle and shaking his head.
, those melodies he once hummed while hugging himself at night, those melodies he once shouted while slapping himself awake in the morning. All familiar melodies are frightening, and they are all related to the Sacred Heart Academy and the Shazhu Gang.
, Jianghai City, and Lingjing, have become taboos in Shasha's heart, buried in the deepest place, not to be touched. It seems that as long as this happens, everything that happens is not so real, just like looking through the windowpane in the rain now
The world we came to was not what it appeared to be. From the beginning, I tried my best to suppress my sadness every day, but the painful sobs always kept pouring out of my heart. Later, I slowly began to withdraw, as if I had become an outsider, watching
I worked hard to practice shooting, practicing hiding, practicing fighting, trying my best to imitate him, as if I was participating in the school's stage play to welcome new students, or playing a long game with the two of them.
They must all be fake. Otherwise, how could there be an organization like Dark Lyra? Otherwise, how could he practice this kind of thing day and night? Otherwise, how could he...
How could he die? It's all fake, he's acting. One day, many people will come and tell him that the play is over, and he will appear in front of him with a sly smile, holding a bag of sugar-roasted chestnuts and saying this
I was very tired for a few days and the final exam was about to take place, so I didn’t come back. Then I hugged Lingjing and kicked him with a smile, saying that we were already in trouble and didn’t need you to come back.
Shasha was lying on the steering wheel, wanting to cry a little bit, but she couldn't shed any tears. She just opened her mouth and sucked in air. Her heart was tightly blocked by something. Even in the moderately warm air conditioner, her body felt like a mess.
Cold.
"Tuk tuk", there was a gentle tapping sound on the car window, rustling put down the glass, and the face of a young man appeared in front of him, wearing a police uniform under the raincoat, smiling at rustling: "Miss, excuse me, I just saw
You seemed a little uncomfortable after getting in the car, do you need help?"
"No, thank you, I'm fine." Shasha responded with a forced smile.
"Are you a college student?" The young policeman seemed to be trying to find a topic, "Are you here to pay homage to your elders? Don't be too sad."
"Well, I'm here to pay homage to my father," Shasha started the car and slowly raised the window, "and to pay homage to my husband. Goodbye."
"Uh..." The policeman was shocked by the words behind Sha Sha. He watched the pretty and youthful face of a student disappear behind the car window, and gradually disappeared into the majestic heavy rain as the car went away.
The wipers wiped away all the hazy obstacles in front of the glass. Shasha looked at the increasingly clear world in front of him and listened to the jazz music that continued to play in the car. Although he knew that everything had happened, he always resisted subconsciously and rationally.
Tell yourself that the man is gone and will never come back, but somewhere in your heart you always refuse to admit it, don't contact Lingjing, don't go back to the past, and cut off everything in your memories.
Bond, then it seems that it can be done as if all of this does not exist.
However, after returning to Jianghai, everything seemed to slowly become clear again. The deeply buried sadness began to resurface stubbornly. Everything that I refused to admit in my subconscious began to jump in front of my eyes, becoming more and more clear. Where?
There is no him, no where. In the past, I kept telling myself subconsciously that he was in that place, making the newly learned cake in the kitchen, flipping through thick comics on the sofa, and reading in the living room.
It's a boring soap opera. It's just there. It's just that I'm far away from him and haven't looked for him. As long as I look for him, I will definitely find him. But now I realize, or I admit it completely, that no matter how I look for him, I can't find him.
I can't find him. He is no longer in that room. He is not in the kitchen, living room, or bedroom. He is not found in the martial arts gym. He is not in the school or in the Shazhu Gang. Where is he? Really... really
Did he fall asleep under that tombstone? Is it true? So, is it true? Otherwise, why would Lingjing cry so sadly in front of that tombstone? Otherwise, why would she feel so painful?
Jiaming is gone. Already dead. Shasha parked the car on the side of the road and took a deep breath. Her body felt colder and colder. He could not be found anywhere. He would never be there again when he was sad.
She hugged herself quietly in the warm quilt. Everything disappeared. It was really gone. Lingjing would no longer press on her and shout, "Gu Jiaming, your eldest wife is staying in bed again and will be late."
", and you will no longer see him running to the bed in an apron, tapping his buttocks with the handle of a shovel while laughing and calling himself a lazy pig.
"I like you very much...Jia Ming." A distant voice seemed to sound softly, and the smile in front of me appeared in my mind again, making my heart hurt. "I already liked you before Lingjing said she liked you.
But I didn’t know that at that time..." It hurt so much that I felt so cold that I felt so painful.
The car started again, breaking through a curtain of rain, and speeding down the street. Shasha stared at the increasingly familiar scenery washed by the rain, as if she was running on the streets back then. The look of Lingjing crying just now emerged, and it was the same as when she was a child.
She overlapped, and it seems that the childish voice can still be heard: "From today on, you must be good to us, you are not allowed to bully us, you are not allowed to leave us, and you must be with us forever..."
"The three of us... will always be together..."
Shasha suddenly stopped the car, looked up at the heavy rain pouring from the sky, and suddenly shouted: "Gu Jiaming, you bastard who doesn't keep your promise——"
The sound was drowned out by the pouring rain, and only the sound of rain could be heard on the street. The heavy rain fell in patches, getting heavier and heavier.