How can one become an immortal if he is so lazy? Chapter 268 Personal test, fellow Taoists who are not in the Golden Elixir stage, please do not imitate this dangerous routine, you will be sent!
Chapter 268 Personal test, fellow Taoists who are not in the Golden Elixir stage, please do not imitate this dangerous routine, you will be sent!
"Okay! Without further ado, bring me the little peach tree!"
Hongli stretched out her hand directly: "Give it to me quickly!"
"What are you doing?"
"What else can you do?"
Hongli's eyes widened slightly: "Of course we will start cultivating family relationships from now on!"
"Don't even think about it, I am an expert in raising children!"
Hong Li stretched out a finger and said, "Xiao Huo can live so long and grow into such a cute little girl now. Isn't it my credit?
I'm not the stupid newbie I was back then!
My mother is my only daughter. My mother is a mother for the first time. I have already been a little fire mother. Plus this time, I am a mother for the second time.
It’s only the first time for my mother, but it’s the second time for me. What does this mean?”
"Does it mean your child reopens faster? Refreshes more frequently?"
Hei Yang raised his hand to answer.
"Bah, bah, bah!"
Hongli rolled her eyes and pointed to herself confidently.
"This proves that my experience in raising children is twice that of my mother. I am more like my mother than my mother. I am an elite mother!"
"Elite mom, I think you look like an elite monster, so light up your health bar!"
Hong Li: "???"
"Hey, Hei Yang! If you can't speak, you can shut up! Damn it!"
Hongli pointed at herself with an unhappy expression.
"Why can't someone like me be a leader? The one who can drop the dragon-slaying sword and so on!
You say I am an elite monster, who are you looking down on!"
"No way, no way, no one really thinks of the dragon-slaying sword as some kind of magical weapon, right?"
"Ah this..."
Hongli hesitated and retorted without confidence: "At least the name sounds powerful, doesn't it?"
"Also..."
Hei Yang nodded, and suddenly thought of something, he came close to Hong Li, brushed her hair aside to reveal her little ears, and whispered in a low voice: "Do you remember the story I told you about Calabash Baby before?"
"Uh, ah ha."
Hongli shrank her neck, the heat coming from her ears made her itchy, and she felt a little nervous in her heart.
She replied in a low voice: "Remember, what happened? Can the Calabash Baby also drop the Dragon-Slaying Sword?"
"Climb, crawl, crawl, what a mess, I really want to open your head and see what's inside!"
"It's all about black sun!"
"Good answer! Give me a shot and touch your head!"
Hei Yang patted Hong Li's head with satisfaction, and then continued in a low voice: "Didn't the snake spirit soak the Qi baby in Hei Shui'er before it was born, and then give it prenatal education to influence its will? The so-called
Brainwashing starts from childhood..."
"Stop, stop, stop!"
Hongli's eyes suddenly widened and she reacted: "Oh, you said you want me to imitate the snake spirit and play dirty tricks on others... Bah, brainwash their flat peach trees, right?"
"Smart! I am your husband, the scorpion spirit..."
Hei Yang coughed twice and clenched his hands suddenly, with a fierce expression on his face: "It's just a gourd baby, let's see how it escapes from our hands!"
"Bah, bah, bah, if you want to be the villain, you can do it yourself, but in the end, weren't you killed by someone else?"
Hongli snorted lightly, showing a disdainful expression.
"This kind of brainwashing that forcibly tamperes with one's will usually only requires the protagonist group to shout a few words, "Wake up!" "Don't you remember us?", and all your plans will be cleared up without any reason.
There is no use in trying to get it right every time.
Only when you treat others with sincerity will they be willing to repay you, and only with sincerity can the other person change into your own shape, just like what you did to Xiao Hongli when you were a child..."
"Hey, hey, hey, how many times have I told you, at the beginning, I really only regarded you as my sister..."
Hei Yang said speechlessly: "I think you have to send me to prison before you are willing to do it, right?"
"Just an example."
"This example is not appropriate at all!"
"Ah, yes, yes!"
Hongli snorted softly: "After all, it's still the same sentence. As long as I treat the little peach tree with warm maternal love, it will naturally come to show filial piety to us during the holidays. My idea is right!"
"I know, your idea is correct."
Hei Yang said faintly: "I just don't quite recognize your strength."
Hong Li: "???"
"No, what the hell..."
Hongli became angry from shame: "Go and see Xiaohuo, she..."
"That's why Xiao Huo survived."
"What Xiao Huo can do, why can't Xiao Pan Tao do it?"
"Oh, if I can't support you, it must be the other party's problem. If I can support you, it's my own credit, right?"
"Hey..."
Hongli curled her lips and turned away with an unhappy look.
"It's a bunch of nonsense, sister, I'm too lazy to argue with you."
"You can't say it, but you can't say it, and you still find excuses, tsk tsk..."
"Who, who is looking for a reason!"
Hong Li glared at Hei Yang and reached out to touch two treasure boxes.
"I just suddenly remembered that there are eight treasure chests that have not been opened, so I am too lazy to continue arguing with you."
"A blunt change of subject."
"Heiyang shut up!"
"Why, if you don't close it, you won't close it!"
"I am your wife!"
"Okay, my dear wife."
"Humph."
Hong Li snorted softly, looked at the two treasure boxes in her hand, and added: "I'll open two more, and the remaining five will be yours. Is that okay?"
"Your will! Madam!"
"Hmph."
Hongli showed a satisfied expression: "Look at me, Erlian!"
Item: Potion of Obedience
Quality: blue
Effect: This prop is a one-time consumption. As long as the target drinks it, the target will obey all your instructions for one day.
Scope: Jindan stage and below
Introduction:Tsk tsk...
Item: Guaiguai Chocolate
Quality: blue
Effect: This prop is a one-time consumption. As long as the target eats it, the target will obey all your instructions for one day.
Scope: Jindan realm and below
Introduction:Tsk tsk...
Hongli: "..."
Hei Yang: "..."
Hongli: "Brother Heiyang, are you thirsty? There is water for you to drink!"
Hei Yang: "Hei Yang is not thirsty. In fact, he just drank a lot of medicinal wine and milk..."
Hongli: "Well, Brother Heiyang, are you hungry? There is chocolate here for you to eat. As you said before, you haven't eaten it for more than ten years, right?"
Hei Yang: "Well, Hei Yang is not hungry either. Hei Yang is a dog, and dogs cannot eat chocolate."
Hong Li: "???"
"Brother, it's not like he's not..."
The corner of Hongli's mouth twitched: "I wouldn't have scolded myself like that, I would feel bad."
"So it's good that you can only bear this pain alone, right?"
Black Yang Yin Yang strange Qi Dao.
"Indeed, only I can scold you like this."
Hongli didn't feel ashamed, but felt proud of it. She proudly puffed out her chest and said, "When others call you an insult, I will stand up for you.
I called you flirting, do you understand? This is my exclusive privilege, Hongli!"
"Then let me beat you twice? You know I usually don't beat people."
Hei Yang raised his eyebrows: "This is also your exclusive privilege."
"Ah, let's say goodbye then..."
The corner of Hongli's mouth twitched and she said with a sneer: "If I get beaten, you will feel bad for me!"
"Tsk tsk..."
Hei Yang snorted, glanced at Hong Li, and said, "Really, I think you should try the taste of that chocolate.
After all, I found that although there is cocoa bean milk and so on in our world, there is really no decent chocolate.
Well, maybe there are some in those countries in the east, but you must have never tasted it. Give it a try, it’s something you can’t usually eat!”
After a pause, Hei Yang added with a sincere face: "Don't worry, I just want you to have a taste. I will definitely not do anything to you, let alone order you to do something that makes Hei Yang very happy.
!"
"Ah?"
Hongli tilted her head: "Really?"
"Fake."
Hei Yang looked serious: "Although I really want to do what I said to show my grace and show off in front of you.
But you know, when a red glass that obeys orders is placed in front of Mouyang, I will definitely not be able to control myself and do something pleasant!
The more she struggled, the more excited I became, the more excited I became, the more frightened she became, the more frightened she became, the more she struggled..."
"Oh, I knew it."
Hongli curled her lips and showed a longing expression: "Think about it, when a black sun has an expression of unwillingness and disgust, and is reluctantly ordered to do something it doesn't want to do.
There will be a sense of humiliation and shame in his heart, but his body still does its duty...
At the same time, his eyes still refused to give in. He looked at me fiercely and threatened me, saying, just wait, I will return this humiliation even worse!
Wow, just thinking about it makes Li so excited!"
Hei Yang and Hong Li looked at each other.
"Hey hey hey..."*2
"Ahem, hey, what a ghost!"
Hei Yang tapped Hong Li's head with his finger and said with an upright face: "Don't make that weird laugh, it will make others think that I am as perverted as you!"
"Ouch!"
Hongli covered her head and gritted her teeth and retorted: "It's obvious that you are lowering the moral standards of our family, but you are still here and the evil one is the first to file a complaint!"
"What do you know? I was pretending on purpose to cooperate with you, so that you would not be embarrassed!"
"What a coincidence, each other."
"Huh? Are you pretending?"
Hei Yang's eyes widened, and he put the Yan Tie Zi Chong potion into Hong Li's hand, with a look of displeasure on his face.
"Here, you can drink it for me. I want to see if you are really as ethical as you say?
Hum, even if I have to be subjected to inhuman torture by you for a day, I will still reveal the dirty nature of your soul!"
"Ha, you're trying to make a retreat, right? You think you can control me this way, right?"
Hongli has never been weaker than Yang in her life. She sees that this is Hei Yang's conspiracy, so what? Do she want to be laughed at for being less courageous than him?
Stop joking!
Hong Li snorted, handed the chocolate to Hei Yang, and opened her mouth.
[Hongli: Come on, just open your mouth like this and feed me. I want to see if you really can’t do anything!]
"Oh, I'll stay with you until the end!"
Hei Yang snorted coldly and opened his mouth as well.
Hong Li brought the potion to Hei Yang's mouth, and Hei Yang brought the chocolate to the corner of Hong Li's lips and slowly moved forward.
Haha, I took the bait!
Hei Yang and Hong Li smiled proudly in their hearts.
Everything is under control, just as expected.
But the other party will never think that you can kill the game by suddenly stuffing the potion/chocolate into his/her mouth and ordering the other party to stop!
When the time comes...hehehehe...suck...ahem...
No, you can’t be careless.
If it were Heiyang/Hongli, it would definitely not be so easy to deal with...
If necessary, kill with one blow, quickly and accurately!
A cold light flashed in Heiyang Hongli's eyes, and she exerted force on her arms!
"Ha! Damn it! You've been fooled...well, ugh..."
Hei Yang Hongli looked at the other person's hand covering her mouth and widened her eyes. Did she/he even think of using instant kill to feed her?!
That's right, as long as you make the other party speechless, you will be invincible.
At that time, even if you accidentally get fed, you can still give a killer command like "You are not allowed to order me for the next day" while covering the other person's mouth!
"Well, well..."
Hei Yang Hongli's eyes widened with disbelief on his face. Could the other party even think of this step...
Damn it, you are worthy of someone who has been influenced by your own wisdom for so many years!
[Heiyang/Hongli: Ha! But you must have never thought that commands can also be launched here!]
[Heiyang/Hongli: I order you! Eat it well!]
[Heiyang/Hongli:...]
[Heiyang: despicable villain.]
[Hongli: Shameless dog thief.]
[Heiyang: Uh, it seems to still taste like watermelon...]
[Hong Li: Well, it feels bitter and sweet, but the taste is very special...]
[Hei Yang: That’s right, I’m so scared. Why don’t you relax your hand?]
[Hongli: Uh, I’m a little choked too. Can you please let go?]
[Heiyang/Hongli: Okay, I’ll forgive you this time, and I won’t do it again next time!]
Hei Yang and Hong Li breathed a sigh of relief at the same time, relaxed their hands slightly, squinted their eyes and began to enjoy the feeding, which was not just for the original purpose.
This was another good opportunity to counterattack, but Heiyang Hongli didn't even speak, just quietly savoring the taste.
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Forget it, let him/her go. No matter what happens next, since it’s not a bad taste, just let him go for the time being...
"Say..."
Hei Yang licked the corner of his mouth, looked at the window with opaque curtains, and asked his girlfriend curiously.
"Xiaoli, what time is it now?"
"Well, I don't really care..."
Hong Li followed Hei Yang's gaze.
"As soon as you spoke, I realized that there is a world outside the window..."
"Good guy, I thought it was outrageous for me to sleep around the clock, but you are even more outrageous..."
Hei Yang said speechlessly: "Have your world view been automatically modified?"
"Aha, isn't that normal?"
Hongli said confidently: "With the bed under me, the quilt on my body, and you in my arms, this is the world!"
"Miss Hongli, don't say that. If you say such things, I won't be able to bear to bully you in the future."
"Oh, it's better if you can't bear it, but I won't bear it."
"Tsk tsk..."
Hei Yang raised his body and leaned against the bed, suddenly thinking of something.
"In a few days, will you have to follow your mother back to your grandpa's house to visit?"
"Ah this..."
Hongli's expression froze, and she suddenly realized that her mother wanted to take her back to her parents' home.
"Fuck, it seems true!"
"How pitiful."
A gloating smile appeared on Hei Yang's face.
"Because grandpa came directly this year, I don't have to follow my mother to the royal capital.
Oops, in this case, I can continue to lie down at home, I’m so sorry, hehe.”
Hongli: "..."
Hongli thought about it. Her mother said that she would dress beautifully in front of her relatives, and then let her show off her daughter and so on. But when she thought of that scene...
"No..."
The corner of Hongli's mouth twitched: "Why is there still such torture?"
"There's nothing you can do about it, it's traditional..."
Hei Yang shook his head helplessly.
"After all these years, which year have you not gone back to?
Well, to be honest, I still missed you very much at this time."
"Wow, it seems like I don't miss you!"
Hongli looked sad.
"It's not like you don't know the horror of seven aunts and eight aunts. Isn't that something people can bear?"
"I understand very well, but there's nothing I can do to help."
"Who said that?"
"Huh?"
Hei Yang looked at Hong Li in confusion.
Hong Li stared at Hei Yang and expressed her thoughts.
"In this way, Heiyang, if you come with me this year, as long as you are by my side, you can take away half of my pain!"
"Ah, what's the point of me going to your house..."
A question mark appeared on Heiyang's head: "I'm not related to the Lan family, wait a minute..."
Hei Yang's eyes suddenly widened: "I am your fiancé?!"