How can one become an immortal if he is so lazy? Chapter 286: Grandpa and grandma are jumping up and down with energy, and teenagers and girls have dark circles under their eyes and are too lazy to get out of bed.
Chapter 286: Grandpa and grandma are jumping up and down with energy, and teenagers and girls have dark circles under their eyes and are too lazy to get out of bed.
"It won't work. Your situation is too different from hers. I can tell you this with confidence."
As the date of retirement gets closer and closer, Mrs. Meng has become more and more motivated recently.
My waist no longer aches, my legs no longer hurt, and I can hum a tune I don’t understand even while making soup.
She looked at Hei Yang who was looking embarrassed, smiled, shook her head, and explained to Hei Yang.
"You are reincarnated, abandoning everything in your previous life, leaving only memories.
That's why I can help you operate within the rules, make you a "local", and directly change your nationality.
But the situation of the little one you mentioned is because of her clothes. She is an illegal immigrant. What can I do about this?"
"So it means that she can't drink soup or anything, forget something to make her identity legal..."
Hei Yang scratched his head.
"Can't we also let her wash in the Wangchuan River to clear her identity?"
"It's okay to clean up. Grandma, I finally found out about you and that little girl. You two are talking..."
Po Meng frowned, spoke hesitantly, and nodded affirmatively.
"Well, yes, your usual choice of words and sentences always has an aura of illegality and crime!
Wait, let me check if you have a criminal record."
"Ah?"
The corner of Hei Yang's mouth twitched and he said speechlessly: "Isn't your effort in vain? How could I have a criminal record and be found out?"
"That means the whitewashing channel you found is very professional?"
Po Meng's eyes flashed.
"Be strict if you resist, be lenient if you confess, and tell the truth!"
"Of course... bah bah!! What?!!"
Hei Yang couldn't help shouting: "What do you mean I am a professional in whitewashing channels? I am white from beginning to end!"
"I have reservations about it anyway."
Po Meng glanced at Hei Yang suspiciously.
"After all, you sound like a very experienced habitual criminal."
"Oh, please stop teasing me."
Hei Yang waved his hand helplessly.
"I was wrong, I was wrong. I shouldn't have avoided Grandma Meng. I shouldn't have come to you when I had a problem. I repent, I admit my guilt!"
"You also know."
Mrs. Meng rolled her eyes and scolded with a smile: "You stinky boy is like hiding from the plague god all day long. He runs away when he sees you. Grandma, am I just going to offend you two like this?"
"Ah this..."
Hei Yang's smile froze, and he pointed to the long list of friends on the Naihe Bridge outside, with a look of resentment on his face.
"Look here, besides me, there are several living people running towards you all day long!"
"Don't talk nonsense."
Po Meng slowly filled the soup.
"The dead don't come here all the time. They only do it every few decades. You are more of a ghost than a ghost."
Hei Yang: "..."
"Ha, okay, don't just stand there."
Po Meng waved her hands funny.
"Grandma, there is really nothing I can do. In the blink of an eye, you will be exposed to the Nascent Soul stage. Phew, keep working hard! Go get busy first."
"Yeah."
Hei Yang had a well-behaved look on his face and slowly backed away with small steps.
"Goodbye grandma, goodbye, again..."
"Oh, right."
Po Meng suddenly said: "I'm not from your world, and I'm not very familiar with it. You two are still young and don't understand many things. You can try asking the adults in your world. They may have some ideas."
"Ah?"
Hei Yang was stunned for a moment, and his eyes lit up.
"Oh, I understand, I understand, thank you grandma, long live grandma!"
“I didn’t say it would definitely work!”
Po Meng said angrily: "Don't blame me if you don't succeed."
"Got it——"
Black Sun's voice floated far away.
………
A blanket was spread out in the open space, and Hongli sat on it hugging her knees, quietly staring ahead.
The sloth was lying in front of her, looking up at the sky with an expressionless expression.
"You are really bad."
The space next to the sloth was suddenly shattered, and deep darkness surged within it. The turbulent flow of space roared in her ears, cutting her voice into a tinny sound with a slight tremor at the same time.
"Why... tell me... death is scary... makes me... so scared now..."
Feeling the malice of the whole world, the sloth's eyes were red and he looked aggrieved.
"It's better now...I could have...walked with relief...without being afraid..."
"Don't say that!"
Hongli smoothed and blocked the space cracks with a slap, and said angrily: "You said you were afraid of death, we will definitely not let you die.
Hei Yang has gone to help you find a solution, and I'm watching next to you. Nothing happened!"
"Kacha"
"Click your head, don't open it, close it!"
Hong Li looked at more and more space cracks around the sloth, and finally couldn't sit still. She jumped around beside the sloth, gnashing her teeth and scratching with both hands, patching up the east end and the west end, like a whack-a-mole.
Same.
"Close! Close! Close this side too! And this side!"
"Hongli, you have to block me from watching the sunrise."
The sloth muttered in a low voice: "It's already very good. Let's take a rest. It's very tiring.
I will leave after sunrise. In the end, I am very satisfied to have you two good friends."
"Satisfy your size!"
Hongli's eyes were filled with anger, and she clenched her fists fiercely.
"Ahhh! Anyway, give it to me first and be quiet!"
"Boom!"
The majestic power of space exploded instantly, spreading around like a ring. With the point where the red glass was as the center, the space cracks within the radius were frozen like a tide, and the violent space suddenly calmed down.
"Hoo, ho, ho..."
Hong Li wiped the sweat off her forehead and breathed a long sigh of relief.
"This is the right thing, give me a chance, Lao Ao!
We have been friends for more than ten years, right!"
"Uh..."
The sloth beeped softly: "The consciousness of the world is like a set of mechanisms that run automatically. It is almost useless if you try to use it."
"Huh, you didn't tell me earlier!"
Hongli's smile disappeared instantly, she sighed, and said fiercely: "No, we can't just sit back and wait for death!"
Sloth: "I'm just lying there waiting to die."
"Don't interrupt!"
Hong Li casually pushed her long hair back, and under the gaze of the sloth, she pulled out a large coffin from the storage bag!
It has a sliding cover and is not covered tightly. It looks like it is not an ordinary thing!
"Look here, look here!"
Hong Li waved her hand, used her spiritual power to pull the corpse of the sloth over, pointed at the coffin and said, "Did you see it, my trump card!"
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"Uh..."
The sloth looked puzzled, looked at the big coffin, and scratched his head.
"Is this the coffin you prepared for me?
To be honest, it’s a bit big and can hold several of me!”
"Ah, this is indeed the coffin prepared for you...
Bah, bah, it’s not a coffin for you, although it is indeed prepared for you..."
Hongli patted her head and said a little irritably: "Oh, this coffin is not used as a coffin anyway. You can understand what I say!"
"Well..."
The sloth was stunned for a moment, sighed, and showed a sad expression.
"That's right. How can a guy like me deserve to lie down in such a luxurious coffin? Even if I just look at it twice, it's considered a lie down...ah! Head!"
"Don't say such unfavorable words!"
Hong Li played tic-tac-toe on her head and took her palm back from the sloth's head. She felt secretly happy. It turns out that this is how it feels to hit a short man on the head. Is this the happiness of Hei Yang?!
"Ahem, maybe I didn't explain it clearly just now."
Hong Li pointed at the coffin and explained: "This, as long as you lie down in it and close the lid, you can live for a long, long time.
However, this coffin can only be opened from the inside, not the outside, so you need to pay attention to this."
"Really?"
The sloth was stunned for a moment, then floated over and tapped the coffin board curiously with his little paws, confirming again: "You didn't lie to me?"
"Why are you lying to me?"
Hongli rolled her eyes: "If you don't believe me, try it?"
"Well..."
The sloth looked around, and the deep space-time cracks were frozen, like marble patterns, and like the roots of old trees, they were still extending and intertwining.
She stretched her head to look inside the coffin again, and was lost in thought.
"Hey, hey, don't be in a daze!"
Hongli laughed out loud.
"Okay, I admit that it is indeed a bit unlucky, but this is also a necessity..."
Hong Li said as she put several layers of cotton padding into the coffin, and put a pillow inside. After thinking about it, she put another small pillow, after thinking about it, she placed another lighting stone, and after thinking about it, she put it in again.
A communication spirit stone...
"Ah haha, it should be enough. If you add more, it will be too much..."
Hongli smiled sheepishly and suddenly thought of something.
"Oh, by the way, there is also this, this, storage bag filled with snacks, called Yangli Happy Bag for short!"
Hongli put the storage bag inside, clapped her hands, and breathed a long sigh of relief.
"This should be fine, right? What do you think of laziness? Huh? What's wrong?"
"Hongli...Heiyang..."
Lazy sobbed, wiped his tears, jumped into the coffin, grabbed the coffin board, and said loudly: "It's okay, I just woke up and yawned and shed tears. Thank you!"
"Help people to the end."
Hong Li waved her hand, turned to look around, and the space cracks began to become violent again. She shook her head and comforted: "Don't worry, I will let you know when I find a way, and then you can just slide open the lid and come out. p>
Now hide inside and avoid the limelight for the time being."
"That..."
Sloth asked: "Does Hongli want to discuss wedding preparations with Hei Yang today?"
"Huh?"
Hongli tilted her head and waved her hand.
"Oh, oh, oh, that kind of thing can happen anytime, it doesn't matter! Just wait and see!"
"Hmm!"
The sloth twisted around, lay down inside, and slid the coffin board upwards with all his strength.
"Then, goodbye!"
"Yeah, bye, bye."
Hong Li chuckled and said, "It won't take long, don't worry!"
"Well, that..."
The voice of the sloth floated out softly.
"What I mean is, I won't disturb you anymore. Farewell! Hmm!"
"Bang!"
The coffin lid slammed shut.
Hong Li: "???"
"Hey, what do you mean? Please explain it clearly to me!"
Hongli's hair was instantly blown away, and she was scratched against the coffin board.
"Come out! Come out! Explain it to me! I'm angry!"
"Aha, why are Xiaoli so angry? Who offended you again?"
Hei Yang walked out of the gray fog and glanced at the frozen space cracks curiously while muttering "What the hell is this?" while carefully avoiding it.
"What's wrong, what's wrong?"
Hei Yang patted Hong Li on the shoulder.
"What's the matter? You're howling so loudly. Tell me about it, dad?"
"Black Sun..."
Hongli turned around and looked up at her boyfriend. She hugged him and cried and complained.
"Hei Yang, I was deceived by a bad guy, wow wow wow wow wow, how could she have the nerve to lie to me, I was so good to her, wow wow..."
"Ah, who was deceived? How much money was defrauded?"
Hei Yang was startled, and subconsciously patted Hong Li's back, looking around at trees, stones, cracks, coffins, blue sky, white clouds... hmm?
"That's her!"
Hong Li took Hei Yang's hand, turned around and stood on Hei Yang's left side, pointed at the coffin, and said fiercely: "She was the one who cheated me of a coffin!"
Hei Yang:???
"No, no..."
Hei Yang looked at Hong Li speechlessly.
"Speak clearly and don't get tongue-tied."
"You are tongue-tied!"
Hongli curled her lips: "This is what happened, murmur, murmur, murmur..."
"Oh, I understand."
Hei Yang glanced at Hong Li and smiled.
"Idiot!"
Hongli:???
"Hey, hey, if you don't comfort me, you still scold me, right?"
Hongli looked unhappy: "Can't you be gentler when you talk to me?!"
"Uh..."
Hei Yang was stunned for a moment, then cautiously asked: "You little fool?"
"..."
A row of tic-tac-toe popped out of Hongli's head, and he jumped onto Heiyang's head. He clenched his fists with both hands and punched Heiyang's head.
"Heiyang, are you ******* going to die?"
"Oh, okay, okay, Xiaoli, stop fighting, it's just a joke!"
Hei Yang held his head in his hands and said in resignation: "It's not that Xiaoli is incompetent, it's just that the sloth is too cunning!"
"Humph, it's good to know."
Hongli landed smoothly, clapped her hands, pointed at the coffin, and said speechlessly: "What do you think we should do now? Leave her alone?"
"Well, this is indeed a problem..."
Before Hei Yang finished speaking, he was suddenly startled, and he and Hong Li turned to look aside at the same time.
"Ka... Ka..."
The dense space cracks continued to extend, and there were a few crisp sounds, and the man broke free from the restraints, but still stayed still in the same place, as if he had lost his target.
Hei Yang glanced at the coffin, then at the cracks in space, showed an expression of surprise, and waved to greet him warmly.
"Oh, this is not the big boss... Landlord? Lao Ao? Oh, anyway, you understand what I mean."
Hei Yang has a sunny smile that meets the world's expectations.
"Is this going out on patrol? Ah, what a coincidence, I also brought my wife out to play.
Well, yes, yes, you said that sloth, ah, over here!
We have already helped you send her away, and the coffin boards have been nailed shut for her. All we have to do is bury her. You won’t mind if we bury her. We are traveling so well in the world, so we must talk about humanitarianism, right? Hahaha
.
Hey, you're welcome, you're welcome, if one family doesn't speak the same language, don't you know that we are law-abiding citizens, hahaha.
Ah, I haven’t eaten yet, and I’m going to go back to eat, hahaha, there’s nothing delicious, so I just put some food in my belly to fool around with. Oh, by the way, where did your two children go to school..."
"No need to get close, Hei Yang."
Hong Li said in a faint voice: "Traveling around the world is only about instinct, there is no high intelligence..."
"Fuck, then you didn't tell me earlier!"
"Then your voice is so nice. I want to hear a few more words!"
"Hongli, you are such a ****, I would call you a better name!"
"嘁."
Under the gaze of Hei Yang and Hong Li, those cracks trembled, and then dissipated like bubbles. The space cracks shook vaguely, then returned to their original shape, just like new ones.
"Huh?"
Hei Yang raised his eyebrows.
"Is this a lie?"
"Shh! Keep your voice down~"
Hong Li patted Hei Yang seriously.
"Maybe we haven't gone very far yet!"
Hei Yang: "..."
[Hei Yang: Huh? Have you been deceived now?]
[Hongli: Probably, you think about the anxiety you had before, didn’t you just hide in a canyon and set up a breaking formation to hide?]
[Hongli: This coffin is a bit unlucky, but it still has something!]
[Hei Yang: What should we do now? Leave her here and ignore it?]
[Hongli: If other factors are eliminated, there is no danger from the outside world, and she is in the Nascent Soul stage, so whatever she eats is in it, and it is not a problem to lie in it for three to five years.]
[Heiyang: But?]
[Hongli: But revenge doesn’t last overnight! How dare you lie to me! Beat her up!]
[Heiyang: Ah this...]
[Hongli: Moreover, I told her that it would be solved soon...]
[Hongli: It’s dark inside. I’m afraid that the more she lies down, the more depressed she will become. I finally coax her up and wait for her to cool down slowly...]
[Hongli: A fire is finally ignited and then extinguished again. It is even more difficult to burn it again...]
[Hei Yang: That makes sense. Could it be that Xiaoli has a solution?]
[Hongli: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!]
[Hongli: No.]
【Heiyang:**】
[Hei Yang: I asked Grandma Meng, but she couldn’t do anything. Let’s hire Gao Ming.]
[Hei Yang: However, Grandma Meng said that the adults in the travel world may know what to do, so we can ask.]
[Hongli: Got it.]
"Beep, beep, beep..."
"Who is it? It's coming, it's coming..."
Huo Le picked up the communication spirit stone and injected spiritual power into it.
"Hello?"
"Elder, elder, it's me!"
Hongli waved and said: "Good morning!"
"Ah, hoo, Xiaoli..."
Huo Le shook his head, yawned and said, "Why did you get up so early?"
"Oh, it's because of that..."
Hongli raised her eyebrows when she saw Elder Huo suddenly appearing on the screen: "Wait a minute, what kind of image do you have, Elder?"
"Ah?"
Huo Le took the mirror from the table nearby and looked at himself in the mirror curiously.
"Is it weird?"
“If it’s not weird, it’s weird!”
A row of black lines was drawn across Hong Li's head, and Huo Le's white hair and beard were dyed green for some unknown reason. His beard looked like it had been blown up, and his hairstyle was slanted with bangs.
She was dressed in colorful clothes, and there seemed to be metal rings and holes in her clothes!
And at this angle of the picture, Hongli tilted her head and shook her neck to confirm that it was not her fault. Elder Huole raised the spirit stone above his head and was talking to her with his head raised.
"No, no, that is to say..."
The corner of Hongli's mouth twitched: "Elder, have you gone crazy and practiced some evil skills?"
"Huh?"
Hei Yang leaned over curiously, his pupils shaking.
"Good guy, I'm here!"
"Oh, you said this..."
Huo Le smiled proudly and pointed at himself.
"How's it going? My new look looks pretty good, right? Doesn't it give you a new feeling?"
"Our eyes immediately went dark!"*2
"Hey, young people don't know how to appreciate."
Huo Le rolled her eyes and flicked her bangs.
"This is called trendy, this is fashion!"
"Ahem, poof...eyes, my eyes!"
Hongli covered her eyes in pain.
"Where are the other elders, as well as the senior brothers and sisters? Anyone can do it. Come and arrest Elder Huo and send him to the hospital!"
"As for what?"
Huo Le snorted softly, waved his hand and said: "I forgot to tell Xiaoli that you said I have retired for almost a week.
The affairs of the sect have been handed over to the senior brother. Except for the younger junior sister, the four of us have resigned and are now living at the foot of Five Elements Mountain."
"Don't say that yet..."
Huo Le stretched out, with a happy look on his face.
"This retirement life is different. You can try whatever you wanted to do before! Okay, okay, I won't talk about it anymore. I made an appointment with Tulou and the others to gather for a dance competition at Wuxingcheng Square at 7 o'clock in the morning. I
But the lead dancer, just like that, died."
"Hey, wait..."
"Dududu..."
Hong Li: "???"
Hei Yang: "???"
"Black Sun."
"Ah?"
"Why do you think people should live? What is the ultimate meaning of the universe? How should the value of life be reflected?"
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"Hey, Xiaoli, wake up, don't get confused about life just because you saw something strange!"
"Ah, did Hongli dream of me, or did I dream of Hong..."
"Awakening Skull Crushing Punch!"
"Ah!!!"
Hongli screamed, took a big breath, and turned to look at Hei Yang in panic.
"Hei Yang, what happened? Why does my head hurt so much?"
"Ah, that..."
Hei Yang stared blankly, looked away and said, "Well, it's a headache caused by lack of sleep!"
"Ah? Really?"
Hongli touched her head in confusion.
"But I feel like there's a bulge on my head?"
"Illusion, believe my husband!"
"Okay."
Hongli looked at the spirit stone in her hand, frowned, and slowly came back to her senses.
"What I was doing just now... Oh, by the way, call Elder Huo for help!
Then...what happens next?
Wait, why can’t I suddenly remember what Elder Huo looks like? Well, I remember it seems like..."
"Ahaha, that's not important!"
Hei Yang mockingly interjected to "remind": "The elder didn't answer the communication for a long time, which made you distracted. Now you have come back to your senses."
"Really?"
"Huh?"
"Hmm!"
"Okay..."
Hongli's face was a little confused, and she always felt that something was wrong. She looked at the coffin behind her and gradually woke up.
"Oh, if Elder Huo doesn't answer the phone..."
Hong Li raised her eyebrows and took out another spirit stone.
"Then please ask my aunt, it's not much different..."
"Dududu~~"
"Hello?"
"Hey, aunt..."
"Hello, this is the office of the head of the Wangdu Hong family. The head of the family, Hong Ling, is busy. Please wait and call again. If you need to apply for other services, please leave a message after the beep, beep——"
"Ah this..."
The corner of Hongli's mouth twitched: "Auntie, have you gone home? Okay, then auntie, please take a rest and don't be too tired."
"Xiao Li..."
"It's okay, I still have it!"
Hong Li snorted softly and took out another spiritual stone.
"When I call Xiaoyun, she will never refuse to answer or hang up first! She doesn't even have the intelligence to set up a message!"
"Ah this..."
Hei Yang slid his hands and marked a book title.
""Good Friends""
"Hey, hey, don't believe it!"
Hongli snorted coldly, holding the phone to her ear with her little hands trembling.
"If I read three seconds, this kid will definitely answer my call in seconds! Three, two... beep!"