My tears had dried up when I returned to the meditation room.WWW.tsxsw.COM I didn’t want Jinxi and Huanbi to understand my weakness and sadness, even if they knew something vaguely.
I originally thought that by speaking out the long-standing fears and scruples in my heart and pushing away from him, I could soothe my occasionally uneasy soul. But that day when his desperate eyes appeared in front of me again, I felt like this
I feel distressed and can't bear to see it, I don't want to think about it, and I don't want to see it.
As expected, he stopped coming and never saw me again. I remained calm like this, kneeling in front of the incense table all day long, counting beads and reciting scriptures to calm my mind. The smell of sandalwood became stronger day by day.
, such a solemn smell is actually out of place in the season of spring and summer, when the fragrance of clothes in the house is not as good as that of flowers.
Behind me, Huanbi and Jinxi stared at me and sighed, but their sighs became heavier day after day.
Every day, I would fall asleep tiredly amid the lengthy scriptures and the lingering cigarette smoke. In fact, it’s not bad for people to live ignorantly. It’s just Xuanqing, he didn’t appear by my side, but he was always gone
Arrived in my dream.
When Wen Shichu faced my pale face, he almost cried with distress, "Your health is obviously well. Why are you in such a bad mood now? You are always so hard to deal with yourself."
Huanbi had no choice but to excuse me: "Miss, it's actually very boring for me to chant sutras and recite Buddha here every day."
Wen Shichu secretly breathed a sigh of relief. When he came again, he had an extra birdcage in his hand. He said enthusiastically: "I bought some thrushes. It's nice to hear their calls. Let's play with my sister."
It has apricot-yellow light golden feathers, a small body, and a crisp sound. I liked it, so I kept it in the room. The thrush was probably carefully selected by Wen Shichu, and it was very lively and chirping.
It added a lot of excitement.
I slept soundly that night, and in my dazed sleep, I vaguely heard something sharp "clicking" grabbing the window lattice, hoarse and sharp. Although the Zen room has been renovated, the windows are just made of tissue paper and are not very strong. I
Turning over, in the birdcage hanging by the window, several thrushes were chirping together, their cries were sharp and harsh. I thought vaguely, "Why is this bird so noisy?" So I turned over with hazy eyes,
He fumbled to light the candle and mumbled: "Jin Xi..."
There was a "stab" sound, which was the sound of tissue paper being torn. I didn't have time to light the candle, and looked away under the moonlight. I saw a big hole suddenly torn in the window, and the thrush was barking noisily in the cage. A pair of green
The oily eyes on the big furry head were particularly deep and terrifying. It rushed towards me with a "meow--" sound. Its strong body rushed towards me with a sharp and fishy wind. I instinctively stretched out my hand to block it, almost
At the same time, I screamed sharply: "Cat! There is a cat!"
Mixed with the sound of wind and chaotic footsteps, it was Huanbi's body, hugging the quilt and hugging me tightly, screaming: "Jinxi, get the cat out quickly, the lady can't see it, she can't see it!"
I was trembling with fear, as if I was a child when I went to visit Mr. Fan's house. Mr. Fan was about the same age as me, only seven or eight years old, but he was very naughty. He was holding a cat in his hand, and when I wasn't paying attention, he tugged on his head.
It was stuffed into my brocade jacket. It was winter. The brocade jacket I was wearing was loose and tied loosely with silk satin. The cat was stuck in it and couldn't find its way out. It clutched its claws and barked wildly.
The sharp and eerie "meow" cry screamed in my arms like an inescapable nightmare. The cotton wool was pulled out, flying in white, and my body was painful from being scratched. I cried hoarsely.
, the companion screamed in fright beside me. Its furry body rolled and twisted, desperately looking for a way out. Finally it jumped out from the open part of my chest. I will never forget that it jumped out of my arms.
The feeling on my shoulders. Its angry furry tail swept across my chin, and its strangely dark green eyes stared at me fiercely, making me completely lose resistance at a young age.
I became seriously ill because of this, and the scratches on my body healed without leaving any traces, but I could no longer see the cat. As long as I came even slightly close, I would scream in fear. Therefore, there has never been a cat in the Zhen Mansion.
.
But now, in the strange night, the sudden appearance of such a big cat almost scared me out of my mind.
I was wrapped in the quilt by Huanbi, but in my ears I heard a voice that even Huanbi was frightened about, "Why is this cat so big?" The stick in Jinxi's hand seemed to be empty every time, and it hit the wall.
It seemed that there was not just one cat, but several of them, running around the house, barking chaotically and ferociously.
There was a "bang", and the door seemed to have been kicked open by someone. It was the cat's frightened cry, the shrill scream, Huanbi's exclamation, Jinxi's comfort, and a person rushed over and held me tightly, patting the quilt,
He said softly: "It's okay, it's okay."
I opened the quilt in shock and scattered my hair. When I looked up, I saw Xuanqing's gentle and distressed face. My weakness and fear were uncontrollable for a moment. I grabbed his arm and sobbed softly in his arms.
stand up.
He patted my back and comforted me: "It's okay, it's a civet cat that broke in to steal food."
I looked away and saw several huge gray cats lying scattered on the ground, much larger than ordinary cats. The birdcage was thrown to the ground and smashed, and the intestines of several thrushes were torn out.
The blood was everywhere. I only glanced at it and shrank in fear. Xuan Qing said: "Don't be afraid, don't be afraid, he's dead, it's okay." He frowned and said: "This is in the mountains, how can we raise birds? Although in the mountains
There are no ferocious beasts, but there are civet cats. These civet cats often go in and out together. They love to feed on birds. They are ferocious in temperament and good at walking at night. They are big and dare to hurt people. Most of them were brought in to hunt after hearing the calls of birds. Fortunately, there are no
Hurt people.”
Huanbi ate and Ai Ai said: "We don't know there are civet cats. We are all Mr. Wen. How about sending some thrush here? It's said to make the lady happy, but the civet cat was brought here."
Jin Xi breathed a sigh of relief and said: "Fortunately, the prince came in time, otherwise there would be so many cats. The servants were also frightened. How had they ever seen such a big civet cat? It seems that Mr. Wen really did something bad with good intentions."
"As he said that, he found a big cloth bag, put the cat body and the thrush in it and threw them away, and then he and Huanbi cleaned the house together.
Huanbi and Jinxi were both there, so I felt embarrassed and hurriedly fixed my hair and sat up, wondering: "I'm lucky to have you tonight, but why are you still around like this?"
There was a hint of worry in Xuan Qing's brows, "You don't want to see me, so I can only come and see you secretly. For more than a month, you haven't gone to bed until almost the second watch. No wonder your face is so pale."
I was startled and said, "I don't even know."
He smiled with unspeakable bitterness and said, "If I don't want you to discover me, how can you notice that I am outside."
I was stunned and said: "Then, after I left the Qingliangtai without saying goodbye, did you often do the same thing?"
He lowered his head and said nothing, but his expression was already revealing. My heart was beating suddenly, and he described himself as rather haggard. There was a small dark green patch under his eyes, like a moon halo, which seemed to be due to lack of sleep.
I am still the handsome young man who was wild and clear and gentle as jade. I sighed softly: "Why are you doing this?"
He straightened up and said with a faint smile: "I'm not bitter. I just want to see you fall asleep before leaving."
There were heavy traces of night dew on his clothes. I frowned and said softly, "That's a lie. Since you left after I fell asleep, why are you still here today?"
He sighed lowly, "Why are you so smart? Just think that I am just looking at the moonlight." He said apologetically: "It's my fault today. I took a nap because of my inclination, and that's why you were shocked. You
The thrush I raised, I never thought that it would attract civet cats."
My heart moved, but I could only say nothing. After a long while, I said sadly: "You are worth a thousand pieces of gold, why bother yourself like this."
He smiled bitterly, looking increasingly haggard, and said, "Compared to your day, being able to look out the window and see the lights in your house is my greatest comfort."
I was stunned in my heart, as if waves were washing over me again and again. After a moment of silence, I pushed his arm and said softly: "I'm fine. Your Majesty, please go back to sleep. It's already midnight."
His eyes were as clear as a pool of clear spring. Staring at me like this, my heartbeat almost skipped a beat. I couldn't avoid it, so I just stared back at him quietly.
After a long time, he stood up and said, "Go to sleep well. Don't think about tonight."
I nodded meekly, "Okay."
He was about to reach out and tuck the quilt for me, but I quickly stopped him and said, "I'll do it myself."
He smiled seductively, like reed flowers swaying in the autumn wind, "The last time I tucked you in like this was at the cooling terrace." He paused, with a trace of prayer in his eyes, "I haven't done this for a long time, just let me
Let me tuck you in again. Next time, I’m afraid there won’t be a next time.”
My heart suddenly felt sour, and I couldn't bear to refuse anymore, so I let him tuck the quilt for me, put it under my chin, and said: "Don't catch a cold at night, your face looks so bad."
I nodded and saw the nostalgia in his eyes. I couldn't bear to look at him anymore, so I turned around and closed my eyes.
My nightmares started to get serious from that day on. Even though there was no more harassment from the civet cat, my childhood experiences and the civet cat’s dark green eyes that night often scared me to the point where I would scream in a cold sweat late at night.
Huanbi and Jinxi's company did not help. My panic kept me awake all night long.
The sound of the flute sounded at this moment. It was a continuous line of pulses. Even if you don’t listen carefully, you know that it is the sound of the flute that "stays together forever". The clear and round sound of the flute is carried by the night wind, clearly
I heard it. I sat hugging the quilt and suddenly felt that the fear and anxiety in my heart had settled down, leaving only the sound of the flute at this moment, like a clear stream in a quiet place in the mountains, flowing straight into my heart.
Huanbi stood up, opened the window, and whispered, "It's the prince who is playing the flute."
I whispered: "You heard it too."
The corners of Huanbi's lips raised slightly, and she smiled indifferently, "Only the sound of the prince's flute has such charm." Huanbi's figure was soaked in the moonlight, and she whispered: "Tonight, the prince does not know that he will play again.
What time is the flute time?"
Even Huanbi could hear such sentiment.
I leaned against the wall and saw the moonlight melting like pear blossoms. I thought about his figure playing the flute under the moon. I was silent for a long time and finally shed tears silently.
That night, I still fell asleep to the lingering sound of Xuanqing's flute. What woke me up was not a nightmare, but the sudden heavy rain outside the window.
In the midsummer season, such heavy rains often come unexpectedly in the mountains.
There was a heavy rain and thunder, and the steamy wind came in gusts, blowing through the half-open window sash. Jinxi woke up with a start, and hurriedly closed the window and fastened it. Seeing that I was just sitting with my clothes on, she sat down next to me silently.
.
The candlelight flickered, and a majestic rain fell heavily between the sky and the earth. The smell of dust was picked up by the whip-like rainstorm. Amid the thunder and rain, the lingering sound of the flute could be faintly heard.
hanging by a thread.
My heart felt like someone had slapped me hard. I just hoped that the sound of the flute would stop soon, stop soon.
Xuanqing, I beg you, don’t worry about whether I sleep peacefully anymore. It’s raining so hard. Go back quickly.
Jin Xi glanced at me and said warmly: "What does the lady seem to be anxious about?"
I couldn't hide my expression for a moment and said in a low voice: "Listen, the sound of the flute is still there."
Jin Xi sighed, caressed the corner of his clothes, and said, "It's really pitiful. It's raining so heavily outside, but it's going to wet bad people."
"It's raining so heavily..." I murmured, feeling frightened and worried.
Jinxi's gaze was like a strong bolt of lightning outside the window, illuminating herself into a crystal-clear person. She straightened her face and said: "There is something that I have never dared to say. Now that I see my lady's condition, I have to say it."
"When." Jinxi took my hand and put it in her palm, solemnly and with gentle care, she said: "Madam, the past has passed. Madam is so haggard, she is torturing herself and herself.
Over the years, my slaves and lords have seen that your lord is deeply affectionate and righteous, and he is a person who can be entrusted to you."
There was a roaring thunder rolling across the deep and dark sky, making my ears numb. The sound of the flute was still lingering, and my heart seemed to be rolling with thunder.
Huanbi either advised or discouraged me, but no one had ever understood what I was talking about.
It was raining heavily. Jin Xi saw that I was just silently lost in thought, so she smiled and said: "In the past, when I was in the palace, my slaves also loved to listen to operas. There is a song "Sifan" that I heard most familiarly. My ladies are not sleepy, so why don't I sing it to relieve my boredom?
Bar."
My heart was so numb that I couldn't care about what Jin Xi was going to sing, so I had to let her sing in time: "He looked at us, and we looked at him. He and us, we and him, both of us.
There are so many worries here. Enemies! How can a marriage be achieved? That is to die in front of the Palace of the King of Hell, and let him pound the bucket, saw it, cut it, grind it, and put it in the oil pan. Oh, let him
! I only see living people suffering, but how can I see dead ghosts wearing shackles? Hey, it’s up to him. The burning eyebrows are burning, let’s look at the present. The burning eyebrows are burning, just worry about the present.”
It was as if blue-purple lightning flashed brightly across the sky, and my mind suddenly became clear. Jinxi suddenly opened the window, and wherever I looked, the sunset in the courtyard fell to the ground one by one in the violent storm.
My heart was shocked, my heart was pounding, and I could only think about it over and over again. It was burning my eyebrows, so let’s take care of the present. It was burning of my eyebrows, let’s think of the present.
I stood up quickly and ran out quickly. Huanbi didn't know when she got up and called me hurriedly: "Miss, where is the umbrella?"
I looked back and smiled brightly, "No need." I picked up my skirt and hurried out.
Behind him, Huanbi seemed to be sighing lonely to Jin Xi, "Miss, I'm finally out."
The heavy rain fell like a whip, one after another, causing slight pain. The clothes on my body were soaked through and sticky on my skin. The rain blurred my eyes and scattered my hair. The wind and rain
Impeding my steps, Jiao Lei broke the branches at the top of the tree. I didn't care, and I didn't feel tired. Over the years, whether it was in the corridors of the deep palace with pear blossoms like snow, or in the Zen room holding the scriptures filled with smoke,
Buddha beads, my heart has never been so free and at ease as it is now.
I ran, like a bird that had regained its wings, looking for the sound of his flute, and flew away. Wherever he was, that was my direction.
It was raining and thundering at night. He stood by the rock, dressed in white clothes, as if coming from the lightning. He held the flute to his lips and played slowly, as pure and cold as white dew holding the light.
My tears burst out of my eyes in an instant. I ran a few steps and threw myself into his arms.
Rain fell from his face. He held me in his arms, almost unbelievable, and murmured: "Huan'er... is that you?"
I nodded vigorously, hugged his neck tightly, and said with a tearful smile, "It's me. I'm here."
He didn't seem to believe it, and stared at me hard. Suddenly, he took off his coat, put it on me, and said angrily: "You are crazy! It is raining so hard, and you are still running.
Come out. Don’t you want your body anymore?”
I bit my lower lip, stared at him and whimpered: "You obviously don't want your body anymore, but it's raining so hard and you're playing the flute here like crazy."
He put my head on his chest and sighed: "You are most afraid of thunder and lightning."
His heartbeat was heavy in my ears, and his warmth spread to me through my soaked clothes.
With countless tender feelings in my heart, I lay on his chest and whispered: "As long as you are here, I won't be afraid."
He seemed not to hear clearly and said in a daze: "What?"
The rain raised up countless fine white vapors, but it could not blur his face. At that moment, my heart was as firm as the old pine in the rock. This life has been so good and hard, and the past has broken me physically and mentally. However, I am heartbroken.
, there is something that you never give up and are always pursuing.
I raised my head, looked at him steadily, and said word by word: "Qing, as long as you are here, I will no longer be afraid. Therefore, I always want you to be here."
The night was as thick as juice, and the sound of raindrops stirred up the thousands of leaves and trees, bursting out the damp and fresh fragrance of the grass and trees. He looked at me, his eyes firmly fixed on my figure, as if there was an endless stream of deep bones.
The tenderness was flowing, and even my figure was reflected in the light. There was endless joy on his face, and he hugged me tightly, so tightly, it seemed that even his bones ached. I seemed to be in a dream.
Only the pain made me feel that his embrace was so real, so happy and sweet. He was ecstatic and said solemnly: "As long as you are willing, I will always be by your side and never leave you."
His eyes were so warm and firm, with the halo of happiness and hope that he had dreamed of for a long time. Through the intertwined rain and tears, he held hands with me and looked at each other with deep affection. I just felt that he could never see enough. It turns out that the heart and the heart
The distance can be so close, or it can be as far away as the other shore. From here to there, just take this step.
His cold lips pressed against my forehead, "Huan'er, if you still don't tell me and still avoid me, I'm afraid I will go crazy."
I was slightly stunned and said shyly, "Do you know everything I'm going to say to you?"
His whole body shone like a pearl, emitting a warm and dazzling brilliance in the dark night. He smiled and said: "Fool, do you think I am so stupid? You like me, can't I see it? Don't say it's me.
, I’m afraid Jinxi and Huanbi will see it. I just feel sorry for you, and I’m torturing myself patiently like this."
I sighed, "Qing. In my heart, there are always a lot of things I can't and don't dare to do."
His lips had delicate and full lines. He said softly: "Huan'er, when did you have such feelings for me?"
I shook my head and said honestly: "I don't know." I thought carefully, "Maybe it was on the cooling terrace, maybe it was by the river. Maybe... even earlier, after I had a miscarriage, you played the flute
When you led me out of Tangli Palace to calm my worries." I sighed, "Qing, I don't know when it was, because all the time, when I needed it most, you always reached out to hold me and wouldn't let me go.
Fall down."
He shook his head, and there were countless expressions in his eyes: "It's not important, it doesn't matter anymore. What matters is that you are in my arms now, saying such things to me. Huan'er, how many years have I been waiting for you!"
The rain gradually stopped, and occasionally a drop slipped from the branches, flowing coolly into my neck. His ten fingers intertwined with mine, as if endless joy and understanding gratitude were held in the hearts of these hands.
The sky in the east gradually became brighter, and the morning light had a light blue soft tone, with the moisture of dew. His words were in my ears, as gentle as the April wind in late spring penetrating my ears, "How am I in your heart?"
Woolen cloth?"
I thought about it, and all the affection in my heart was transformed into sixteen words, "The accumulated stones are like jade, and the rows of pine trees are like green. The beauty is unique, and there is no other in the world. 1 In my heart, you are 'the only one in the world.'"
He put his forehead against mine and smiled softly: "This is an ancient poem praising the male god. I am not that good."
I smiled and said nothing, and just asked him, "What about me, how do you feel about me?"
He thought briefly and answered solemnly and firmly, "In my mind, you are my world."
I didn't have time to savor the deep meaning of the words, tears were already rolling down, and the vigorous joy burst into bloom in my heart, just like the trees and flower trees blooming in front of my eyes in spring, blooming countless holy snow-white flowers, like
The dove's pure white wings stand out above the dust and smoke of the world. It is more like the bright light shining in the sky, the bright moon in the sky, suddenly shining on my heart in the bottomless and endless darkness. That kind of brightness is so bright that it almost makes me cry.
No one dared to stare.
"Heaven and earth?" I muttered to myself, almost in disbelief.
His tone was definitely like a rock that has been placed on the cliff for thousands of years, "Yes. If I get you, I get everything. If you are not here, all this prosperity and beauty will be nothing to me." His voice suddenly sounded a little bit.
Ning Zhi said, "Huan'er, because you are here, no matter how much I lost in the past, it was all worth it."
I sobbed softly and shook my head: "I am actually not as good as you said. I am the deposed concubine of the current emperor. I live in Buddhism. I am the daughter of a guilty minister and have given birth to daughters. And you have countless
A lady from a famous family can choose. She has a bright and splendid future, and she really doesn't need to be with a broken body like me..."
His palms were warm, and they covered my lips tightly, blocking my words. He hugged me hard, "In my heart, you are the best. Huan'er, you have to believe it."
I nodded, "As you just said, you are the best in my heart." His smile slowly bloomed, and my tears melted into his clothes, as if they were blooming one after another.
The little flowers bloomed so brightly and freshly.
His arms were vast and warm, like the vast blue and peaceful sky. I was held in his arms, as if the bird that had been looking up at the sky in its nest finally spread its wings and flew into the sky that I had longed for. I felt so worried.
I let go of everything, and joy surged over my body like floating clouds and waves, and my body and mind became relaxed, peaceful, and soft.
I whispered: "Qing, it's because of you that no matter how many hardships and grievances I suffered in the past, I can no longer resent you."
Dawn has arrived, and the sky is bright and bright. The morning glow on the horizon is as bright as clouds. I have never discovered that even the morning glow can be so beautiful that it is so admirable.
When they sent me to the Zen room, both Jinxi and Huanbi were waiting outside the door. When they saw me and Xuanqing arriving hand in hand, they understood.
Jin Xi joked: "The rain stopped before dawn. I don't want my wife to be blocked by the rain until now."
Huanbi was silent for a moment and said: "I went out in the rain yesterday and didn't come back until now. The food is hot. Miss and the prince should go and use some first."
I smiled and said, "I'm not hungry, I just feel very tired right now."
Xuan Qing said: "I haven't slept all night, so go get some sleep."
I nodded and said softly: "You should go to bed earlier, your eyes are all blue."
He shook my hand, smiled at Huanbi and said, "I'll leave your lady to you."
Huanbi smiled and said, "My lord has given me orders, how dare you not do your best?"
When I saw him going back reluctantly, Fang yawned long and fell into a deep sleep. As soon as he touched the soft pillow, he fell into a dark and sweet dream.
Note:
1. The accumulated stones are like jade, and the rows of pines are like green. The beauty of the Lang is unique and unique in the world: it comes from one of the eleven Shenxian songs in the Southern Dynasties folk song "Wu Song" that has been circulated among the people. Most of the Shenxian songs are folk sacred songs in the Jiangnan area.
The gods described in the song are elegant, graceful and full of romantic warmth, similar to "Nine Songs of Chu Song". The divine string song has the characteristics of the love between humans and gods. The name of this song "Shiraishi Lang Song" is a tribute to