I am patiently holding on to the anticipation for the child who is about to be born, and I am even a little bit lucky. Such a fall from favor has allowed me to avoid the conflicts after being pregnant with Liujia and gain a temporary peace.WWW .tsxsw.COM
On the Double Ninth Festival, as usual, the concubines in the palace wanted to celebrate the Queen Mother and all the Queen Mothers. Naturally, I couldn't go as I was under lockdown, so I prepared flower cakes and chrysanthemum wine, and put a sachet stuffed with dogwood. They were all tied with red ribbons and covered with mulberry leaves and elm leaves. They made a three-color gift and handed it to Fangruo. I asked her to give it to the Queen Mother for me to congratulate Sangyu on her happy evening.
In the evening, the Queen Mother sent Aunt Sun to see me in person, expressed some condolences, and said: "I have a body, and I am really wronged now. If there is any inconvenience, you can ask Fangruo to come and tell me that I am willing to serve as your mother." Do your best.”
I said humbly: "It's nothing. It's just that today is the Double Ninth Festival. I know that my brothers have climbed to a high place and there is one less person planting dogwood trees. I miss my family a little."
Aunt Sun's expression froze, and then she smiled gently: "The rules in the palace are that when the mistress is eight months pregnant, relatives from her mother's family can enter the palace to accompany her during the birth. Even if the empress's life is seven months, the servants will remember to remind the housekeeper. The government has arranged for the empress’s mother, Mrs. Pingchang County, and her sister-in-law, Mr. Xinping County, to enter the palace.” In this way, I felt relieved, and I also knew that my father and brother at home were not implicated because of my loss of favor, and I felt more hopeful.
By the end of September, I was waiting for the news that my mother and sister-in-law could come to the palace to accompany me, but there was no news from the Ministry of Internal Affairs. I couldn't help but be anxious and asked Fangruo, but she just hesitated, "The Ministry of Internal Affairs There was no reply after all the push and pull. But at this time of year, Li Chang came to send a message again, saying that the weather has been cold recently, and asked me not to go out to relax anymore to avoid the cold. And the guards guarding Tangli Palace became more and more strict. Although I didn't know what happened. Nothing happened, and I felt it was unusual. With no choice but to find an opportunity, I had to find an opportunity to stop the junior eunuch of the Ministry of Internal Affairs when he was delivering something.
The little eunuch was obviously new and had a very fresh face. I was sitting across from Huanbi, sewing a small quilt to cover the child after birth, with a pattern of flower bats, and he was very happy.
The little eunuch knelt on the ground, and I asked calmly: "What is your name? How come I haven't seen you before?"
He kowtowed and said timidly: "Slave Xiao Guizi has just arrived. Originally, Brother Huang was supposed to be here today, but he suddenly had a stomachache, so he changed his job to a slave to bring big hair materials to the queen."
Huanbi saw the look in my eyes and hurriedly helped him up and said kindly, "Thank you for your hard work. Our lady rewarded you with these pieces of silver to drink tea."
Xiao Guizi was very happy and quickly kowtowed and thanked you. I smiled and said: "What does this mean? I will reward you well when my family comes to the palace."
He was a little confused and raised his head and said: "Thank you for the reward, but I haven't heard from my father-in-law recently about which family's wife is going to enter the palace. If my family comes, I will definitely tell you early."
I was even more confused and worried, but my face didn’t show anything, and I said with a smile: “Yes. Where did you work as an errand before?”
He said: "My servant is also in the Ministry of Internal Affairs, but I didn't work as a servant there in the past. I served tea outside to the guards guarding the door."
I was happy because the guards guarding the palace gate could hear the news best, so I worriedly said: "My maiden name is Zeng. I am not a prominent family. I guess you are not allowed to visit me in the palace. How can I be like the one in Zhen Mansion?" Like a few lucky ladies, they can often enter the palace."
Xiao Guizi blinked his eyes and said: "I don't know where Mr. Zeng will be, but he must be safe and wealthy. It's just that the scenery of Zhen Mansion in the past is no longer good now. I heard about it when I came in two days ago, the Minister of War.
Lord Zhen has been sent to prison." My heart beat wildly and my face changed drastically, but he continued to talk: "That's not all, even the Yulin Army Commander and the Imperial Academy's Lecturer are gone, Boss Zhen
He was not able to keep his position as Minister of the Ministry of Personnel, he was banned from home for a long time, even the royal titles of his wives were revoked, and his in-laws, Mr. Xue, were also implicated."
My voice trembled a little, and I tried to hold back: "How could this happen? Didn't the Zhen Mansion make great achievements when it defeated King Runan?"
He was still unconscious and said with a smile: "The empress didn't know something. She made great achievements and committed great crimes. Wasn't the Murong family and King Runan of Concubine Hua a ready-made example? Master Zhen was reported.
.”
Before I could speak, Huanbi's face turned pale, her lips trembled slightly, and she rushed to say: "Who reported you?"
Seeing her like this, Xiao Guizi was so frightened that he didn't dare to say anything anymore. How could Huanbi endure it? In desperation, she held his arm and shouted: "Speak quickly!"
Xiao Guizi couldn't resist, so he had to say: "Your Majesty, the Deputy Chief of the Yulin Army is in charge."
Huanbi said anxiously: "Nonsense! Master Guan wants to get married to the second young lady of the Zhen family. Why should he report on Master Zhen?"
Xiao Guizi said "Hi": "How do I know so much about official affairs? But everyone knew about this matter half a month ago. I am not talking nonsense!"
Half a month? I was the only one who was kept in the dark.
Huanbi was about to ask again, but Xiaoguizi found an excuse and ran away in panic. I sat down in a daze, and the needle in my hand pierced my finger. Huanbi said "Oh!" and hurriedly took a white silk cloth to wrap it up.
She shed tears: "Miss, what should I do?"
I tried my best to hold back my tears and said, "Okay! Okay -" Before I could finish my words, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I could hardly speak. I forced myself to calm down and said, "Go and ask for Dr. Wen -"
After Wen Shichu served me and finished the medicine to calm my fetus and calm my nerves, Jinxi covered me with a quilt and said, "Excuse me, Mr. Wen, is your mother okay?"
Wen Shichu frowned slightly and said, "It's not a serious problem. I just have a few words to ask your Majesty."
There was still a vague pain in my stomach, so I nodded with difficulty: "I also have something to ask Mr. Wen."
Jinxi covered herself up and went out. I saw Huanbi's eyes were full of love, and I knew that she was worried about it, so I kept her. Wen Shichu was half reproachful and half concerned, and said, "Why does the empress have such severe pain in her heart that she has fetal gas?"
I half-supported my body, looked directly at him, and said, "Today someone told me about my mother's family. I think you will be able to leave the palace every day. I must know everything."
He was anxious: "Does your Majesty know everything? Who is so bold!"
I suddenly laughed, "Sure enough, everyone knows. Even if I don't ask, someone will naturally try to make me know."
He said: "On the one hand, it is the emperor's order, and on the other hand, I must consider whether the empress can bear it."
I smiled palely: "So now that I know about it, how long will you keep it secret?"
He kept his mouth shut, and I just looked at him calmly. His expression was calm, but my heart was in turmoil. I wished he would tell me that everything was false, and that everyone at home was fine, safe and happy. However, he
He said: "The Zhen Mansion has been completely defeated." My teeth chattered. He looked at my expression and hesitated to speak.
I said desperately: "There is nothing wrong with me, just tell me."
He continued: "I lost all my titles, both the lord and the young lady were imprisoned, and the eldest lord and the old lady were also implicated and trapped at home. They are in the same situation as the empress."
"It's the same?" I burst into tears. "I only received care when I was pregnant. Can my parents be treated like this?" He was speechless, and I asked again: "What about Zhining? He is just a girl."
Years old, who is taking care of you?"
He was sad and helpless: "The young master is also in prison with his mother." I felt heartbroken, Zhining, he is still a swaddling baby, how could he endure such pain. He told me the whole story, "Guan Lu
Reporting on Lord Zhen that he was at both ends of the spectrum when he put down King Runan's rebellion. After putting down the rebellion, he repeatedly took credit for himself and wanted to entangle Lord Xue, Lord Guan, and Lord Luo, who formed a gang of his own."
"A rat has two ends?" I was surprised and shocked, "Why do you say that?"
"Does your Majesty still remember that there was a girl named Jiayi? She is a witness. She said that although Your Majesty had some quarrel with Concubine Hua, Lord Zhen had deliberately approached King Runan in order to protect his own prosperity."
I was furious: "Aren't these words 'unfounded'? Does the Emperor believe it?"
Wen Shichu said: "Your Majesty's affair with Miss Jiayi caused a commotion in the city that day. Now that she has come forward to prove it, people can't help but believe it." He hesitated for a moment and said: "It's still a small matter to wait and see. After the incident with King Runan, the emperor was quite concerned about these heroes.
, did not let him reuse him, but Lord Zhen was the most respected, but there were rumors that King Runan's incident had not happened long ago, so the emperor was very concerned about it, not to mention that the friendship between Lord Guan and Lord Zhen was not just a day or two, but almost ended.
We are married, and we are colleagues..." He did not continue, but I knew that Xuan Ling must have believed it.
He was already suspicious, and he was suspicious of me and Xuanqing because of Cao Qinmo's words at the Shuilv Nanxun Palace. After the incident of King Runan, he has not particularly valued the heroes who were the king of Ping Runan, and he has not paid much attention to the daughter of the hero who entered the palace.
He didn't dote on her deliberately, just to avoid falling into the same trap as Concubine Hua. Guanlu's accusations violated his taboos, and there were witnesses, so how could he not believe her.
As for Jiayi, I only asked my sister-in-law and brother to use fireworks to pretend to confuse me. I only asked King Runan and his party to despise my brother and relax his vigilance, but I did not arrange what kind of woman to choose. I have never seen Jiayi, I only know that there are some
Like Ling Rong, I also know that my brother has arranged the aftermath for her. I am in the palace and naturally have no idea of the twists and turns involved. Could it be that... who arranged the aftermath of Jiayi?
My heart suddenly felt cold and bright, like a mantis stalking a cicada, with the oriole behind. We have become mantises for others in our lives. Not only me, brother, but also the entire Zhen family has been plotted!
So quickly, everything was overturned, I fell out of favor, and the family fortune declined.
Wen Shichu said: "It's okay for the queen to pay it back. She was not implicated after all, but the queen must not act out of emotion. The young mistress Ruibin was so arrogant that she went out of her way to fight for her father, Mr. Luo, who was unjustly imprisoned. She hanged herself to death.
Show his innocence."
I was surprised. In fact, I don't have much friendship with Rui Bin. She has always been aloof and self-proclaimed. She doesn't bother to compete with others or make friends with others. She is indifferent to everyone, just like a narcissus, with a natural character. I am very fond of her.
Although she won't get close to her in the future, she appreciates him.
However... Wen Shi's concern for me when he first saw me was beyond words, and the regret between his brows became even heavier, "The emperor was originally very touched, but when he heard that An Fenyi was riding beside him that day, he was so frightened that he cried on the spot when he heard the news of Rui Bin's death.
It seems that the young mistress of Rui Concubine threatened the emperor with death, but she was found guilty."
Lingrong! I almost cut my teeth, Rui Bin and her have nothing to do with each other, why is this!
After Wen Shichu left, I was silent for a long time. Huanbi sat next to me with a sad face, sobbing softly.
I said: "What's the use of crying."
Huanbi managed to stop crying and had some doubts: "Miss, the young nobleman said that he was new to the Ministry of Internal Affairs not long ago, and he didn't know that the young lady's maiden name was Zhen. We casually told him that his surname was Zeng, but he believed it. How come the young master's official position is so clear.
"
I snorted softly, clutched the quilt tightly and said, "You also believe that he is a newcomer. Since the emperor 'values' our palace so much, how could the Ministry of Internal Affairs send a little eunuch who knows nothing so easily?"
Someone is clearly trying to use his words to tell us that if I were a little weaker, I might not be able to save this child."
All the resentment rushed into my heart instantly, and I felt extremely hard. It took me a long time to say: "They are so vicious!"
I sat up and took out the goose-yellow paper in the drawer. I didn't even pick up the pen. I felt unbearable with the injustice in my heart, and the tears in my eyes had soaked the paper. With tears and grief and indignation, I wrote the paper and sealed it, and presented it to Huanbi.
He said: "Fang Ruo will come and give it to her for me later, and ask her to present it to the emperor." Think about it, today is not yesterday, Xuan Ling may not be willing to look at it. With a slight sigh, he handed over the one he gave me that day.
The concentric knot was placed on the note sheet, "Tell Fangruo that it must be delivered."
Huanbi knew it was important and solemnly said: "I know the importance of this."
Waiting anxiously like this, watching the golden crow fall to the ground, the clouds filling the sky, watching the night wind blowing up the stars, there is a strong pain in my stomach, as if I drank too much wine when I was thirsty, the safety of my father, mother, brother and sister-in-law is in danger,
It just depends on whether Xuan Ling is willing to see me.
The sedan carriage was outside the palace gate at about midnight in the moonlight. Li Chang came in person and said respectfully: "Your Majesty, Your Majesty, please move to Yiyuan Hall."
I was stunned for a while, then finally came, so I said: "Father, please wait a moment. I will go after I change my clothes."
However, when I looked in the mirror, I was shocked. My cheeks were much thinner and pale, and my protruding collarbone was hidden in the azure embroidered long dress, which only made people feel cold. After all, I had lost weight, and only one of my legs was swollen.
All that was left was haggardness, without any trace of charm or beauty.
My heart is desolate, Xuan Ling has been praising me for my beauty, and he must be disgusted when he sees me like this. I lightly swipe the rouge, and the rouge seems to be floating on the face, which is not real at all. I hold half a box of rouge in my hand,
He is also at a loss, no matter how beautiful she is, in his eyes it is just the shadow of others. That's all, that's all, why bother trying to show off your beauty? Being haggard is more suitable to touch the heart in such a situation.
So she put on a deep purple plain coat, tied up her hair with rhinoceros jade hairpins and gold combs, and hurriedly took Jin Xi's hand to ride in the sedan.
It has been a long time since Yi Yuandian came. Li Chang led me into the west room and said softly: "An Fenyi just left, and the emperor is waiting for the empress alone inside."
I gathered up my clothes and asked Fangruo to help me in. As soon as Fang entered, she stepped back. Xuan Ling's back was turned to me, as if he was looking at something intently. When he heard me come in, he didn't look back. I was so happy with difficulty.
Yi Fu said: "Your Majesty Jin An."
After a moment of awkward silence, he turned around and gave me a hand, and said in a deep voice: "I am inconvenienced, so there is no need to salute." I thanked him, and he asked again: "Fang Ruo said that you have been dreaming a lot since you were pregnant, but now you can't sleep well."
Is it still safe?"
I asked eloquently: "Did your Majesty see that I was having trouble sleeping at night?" He was stunned for a moment, and I said: "Then just based on Fang Ruo's words, the Emperor believed that I was having trouble sleeping, and didn't ask any questions.
I asked the imperial doctor whether he would prescribe requiem powder for my concubine to take. Did I dream of anything?"
He looked slightly downcast and said, "What do you want to say?"
I remained calm and said calmly: "I just want to say something, don't make judgments based on other people's words."
He just asked: "Did you sleep peacefully?"
I had no choice but to say: "It was really difficult to sleep peacefully in the first few months, but now it's a little better."
He smiled indifferently: "So what Fangruo said is true."
I shook my head sadly and said: "Your Majesty, Aunt Fangruo has no intention of lying to you, but among the officials in the court, power is at stake, and not everyone can be honest and selfless!"
He helped me sit down and said calmly: "You ask for me in every possible way, but you don't even ask me if I am okay. Is this all you want to say?"
Is he okay? I raised my eyes indifferently and restrained myself. I have never seen him again. I met him suddenly just because my family's life hangs in his hands alone. It's such an embarrassing and embarrassing situation. Where can I feel in my heart?
Do you want to get him? Looking at him now, he is the same as before, but his eyes have a hint of anger and feel colder. After these days, I just feel confused and confused. It seems that I don’t miss him anymore, but I still feel moved when I meet him.
Heart and lungs. I only know that it is neither close nor far, and tears fall down.
His expression became more gentle in response to my tears, and he coughed and sighed, "You were guilty of disrespecting Queen Chunyuan that day. Do you know that you were wrong?"
This sentence aroused the pain and humiliation in my heart. I had to suppress it forcefully and said: "If I say it was unintentional, will the emperor believe it?"
But his tone was stiff, "A mistake is a mistake, whether it is unintentional or intentional."
I was startled, and my heart felt like someone had grabbed it hard. It hurt so much that I stopped crying. I smiled with tears in my eyes and said, "Yes, yes, it is indeed my fault." I lowered my body and knelt down, "My concubine.
Offending the late empress is a serious crime. I am willing to be grounded for the rest of my life and ashamed to see my face. But please, the emperor can re-examine the case of my concubine and brother, so that no one can be wronged." I raised my head sadly, "Your Majesty, please also remember the death of the concubine Rui.
For your sake."
He looked at me hard and said, "I can't believe everything you said just now. I may not believe everything you said about Guanlu. But who is Jiayi? Didn't you arrange it for your brother? Now she has also contradicted you. And your brother
It is true that she has close contacts with Xue and Luo, and Rui Bin even begged me repeatedly for your grounding. As far as I know, she has no contact with you in the palace. If she is not entrusted by her father, why should she help you? "
I don't know why Rui Bin wants to help me. Is it just because of the chat with her in Taiye Pond a long time ago? I am really speechless, and I really have too many doubts about Jiayi.
Xuan Ling's words rang coldly in his ears: "It's really not an injustice to your brother!"
I tried hard: "Even so, my sister-in-law is a daughter, and Zhi Ning is still in her infancy..." I choked up and said: "My brother, I have no contribution to the country. Things in the outside world are treacherous and inexplicable, and I can't know about it. But I
Doesn’t the emperor care at all about my brother’s loyalty to the emperor?”
His eyes were filled with doubts, and fell on a scroll of memorials, uncertain: "King Qinghe has never been too involved in political affairs, but he also wrote a letter to advise me on behalf of your brother..." I felt a thump in my heart, could it be that Xuan Ling was suspicious again?
The elder brother was entangled with Qinghe, so he continued: "Zhen Yuandao and his wife are old, I can give you a lighter sentence, but your brother's fault is not a small crime and can be treated lightly." He also couldn't bear it, "Your sister-in-law.
I have released my nephew this morning, but I don’t know what fate will be like.”
What he said was strange, and I was shocked: "Why does the emperor say this?"
He sighed: "Your sister-in-law and nephew were infected with malaria and fever in prison. An Fenyi repeatedly begged for mercy and was even willing to let the medical officer serving him diagnose and treat them. I have sent him there."
The tip of my tongue trembled, and the prison was damp, but it was October, how could I easily get malaria? This is a life-threatening disease! What’s more, the medical officer around An Lingrong came to diagnose and treat me, so I was worried.
.I cried sadly: "Your Majesty!——"
He held my shoulder and said: "The imperial doctor is here and will do his best to treat the mother and son." He paused and said, "But your brother has formed a clique for personal gain. I have already decreed that he will be exiled to Lingnan. Your father will be demoted to Jiang."
The governor of the state was sent to the far north of Sichuan, which can be considered as my aunt's memory of his hard work throughout his life."
Lingnan and Sichuan are far apart from north to south. There are many miasmas in Lingnan and steep mountains and rivers in northern Sichuan. They are all places with poor mountains and rivers. How can my father survive at such an old age? My heart is so sad and sorrowful that I can't add it. I have a slight colic in my belly, like a snake.
It's the same winding climb up, and Yuyao and Yurao have been pampered since childhood, how can they endure the pain of being displaced.
I was miserable, and I could no longer bear the resentment in my tongue. I raised my head and looked at him: "Your Majesty! Is the evidence really irrefutable, or is it because the Emperor is incomprehensible about King Runan and is grudged against others?"
He was angry, his tone was stern, and cold to the point of no warmth: "Do you know what you are talking about?" He waved his hand with anger and touched the bookshelf next to him where he had just stood, where a crimson Xue Tao note appeared
It fluttered down from the stack of books and hit me in the face. I was kneeling and wanted to push it away, but when I glanced at the paper, I suddenly froze there, as if I was lying on ice.
All the truths were originally just some fragmented and clear words, but when these words really fell on this piece of paper, even though I had already known them, my depressed heart started to hurt again.
I stared blankly, the crimson-blooded Xue Tao Jian was about to bleed when I looked at it. The beating of the pulse gradually became faster, pounding directly against the heart, as if something was about to burst out in the chest.
, my heart felt like falling into the lake in the twelfth lunar month. The bone-chilling coldness caused my hands to tremble unconsciously. I couldn't restrain myself anymore. They were shaking like dead leaves on the branches in the autumn wind. There was a voice in my heart shouting loudly, no.
Yes! No! Wanwan! Wanwan! It turned out to be this Wanwan! Wrong, all wrong, all wrong from beginning to end!
"I send my love to my wife Wan Wan. I wish her sorrow would go away. She is the only one left with this kind body. She often lingers in my dreams, and her worries are unforgettable. I miss the sounds and faces of the past, and my heart is filled with sorrow. I wrote "Ode to the Sorrow" to commemorate my condolences. May the ice-snowed soul be with you.
The soul, mourning for my husband, often falls into my dreams to comfort my loved one. Even if I have Wan Wan, Wan Wan is like a minister, and I can temporarily stop thinking about it, I can also 'get rid of Wushan Feiyun'."
"Why does Yi begin with the universe? Why does poetry begin with Guan Sui? But the beginning of human relations, the unity of heaven and earth. Once pain is gone, it is eternal, separated by yin and yang. It is impossible to know...Shadows and shapes are difficult to separate, and they appear suddenly and suddenly, as if they are lost.
.I miss the concubines, I care about them and respect them, I pity the weak ones...Looking at Xiangpu, why did I go there before? I beg Beihai, I don't have any magic skills...I feel sad, remembering the old things and remembering them at the beginning. Sometimes they disappear temporarily, spinning around.
Touching the mood and quenching it. Believe that life is like a dream, and everything is empty. Ooh, don't be sad. I am separated, and I have lost my inner position. Who will follow? When I enter the lady's house, it is silent, and I am covered with phoenixes and hanging in the sky.
The spring breeze and autumn moon are here, do you know when the summer and winter nights will return?" 1
Xuan Ling's handwriting has always been very familiar. At the end of the writing, his writing power gradually became weak and intermittent. There were tears on it, and the ink was reduced to small groups like blooming black plums. It can be seen that he wrote carefully.
How sad and sad it was.
Except Wushan Feiyunye, in one sentence, except Wushan Feiyunye. It turned out to be her, it was her, all my special favor and love, it turned out that it was all for her, for a "Wanwanwan Leiqing". I am haunted by dreams, haunted by dreams,
The affectionate calls in Xuan Ling's dream were all from her - the deceased Chunyuan Queen Zhu Rouze.
So, what am I?
With his hands weak, Xue Tao's paper flew out as if it were nothing, and landed quietly on the woven gold carpet. As if all the strength in his body had been drained away, he sat down slumped and resignedly. Autumn insects were chirping outside the window.
Suddenly, a red maple tree loomed in front of the window. The scarlet color made my eyes hurt as if I was about to go blind.
The excitement in my chest was indescribable, and the pain in my belly became even more painful due to this excitement. It was as if my child also understood my grievances for my mother and how unfair I was.
Xuan Ling picked up Xue Tao's paper on the ground with full of pity, and his eyes suddenly became peaceful. He was as calm and gentle as a pool of autumn water, clear and emotional. His eyes did not fall on me at all, but only focused on distant thoughts, as if immersed in the long-lasting beauty.
, said: "You know?"
I am speechless, what else can I say.
Xuan Ling half-moved: "Actually, you are lucky to be somewhat like Wanwan."
I almost sneered, right? Is it my blessing or my sin? I just feel that when I am with him, my heart is completely cold and cold, and all my feelings are cut off. He is so strange, so
It makes people alienate. It was not only Xuan Ling who was wrong, but I was also wrong. All these years of time and love were wrongly given to the person in front of me.
The door creaked open, and a petite figure flashed in. When he saw me, he hurriedly stepped back. I almost forgot that besides me, Ling Rong could also enter and exit this study.
Her face was delicate and youthful, as rosy as light clouds. It instantly reflected my sadness and haggardness, making it even more unbearable to see. Xuan Ling stopped her and said, "What's the matter?"
She looked at me delicately and hesitated to speak. Xuan Ling couldn't stand such an expression. After urging her twice, she said timidly: "Just now, the imperial doctor reported that Mrs. Zhen and the young master are seriously ill with malaria.
It's hopeless." Before she could finish her words, her face was already wet with tears, which was very pitiful.
Lingrong said, coming to help me, and said with great concern: "My sister is pregnant, please don't be sad."
I knew it was not that simple. I could see in my teary eyes that her beautiful lotus face seemed to be distorted, but it was scary. She took advantage of the moment when she was close to me and quietly smiled in my ear: "But I can't save her."
Woolen cloth!"
I was so hateful that I almost vomited blood, and just as I was about to wave her hand away, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, as if it was about to explode. The autumn air was as cold as frost, the dew was white from tonight, and the moon was pale like a grimace, with its head fluttering
When I opened it, my hand dropped weakly. At the last glance, I only saw the corners of my scarlet skirt, winding like a river.
It hurt so much that I almost choked my breath. It was like a knife twisting, and a painful rope was piercing my intestines. It hurt so much. My body was all wet. It seemed like countless torrents were rushing through my body, and my bones were moving joint by joint.
The joints were cracked. Whose cry was it? It was so painful and disturbed my heart. Every inch of skin seemed to be torn apart. I could almost hear the sound of "crunching". What was there in my body?
The desire to break through sprouted in my body.
While I was in a daze, countless people's voices urged me - "Push harder! Try harder!" The apricot blossoms filled the sky, and their petals were as thin as silk and fell on me bit by bit. I was determined to get involved in the harem fight for him.
On the first night in Yiyuan Hall, he hugged my body tightly and said sincerely: "I regard your thoughts as if they are treasures, and I will never let you down."
The Jinghong Dance was flying, and it was his heart that shocked him, or mine. My mother said that the Jinghong Dance was meant to be danced for the man you love.
In the summer at the Yifu Pavilion, he painted a distant mountain peak for me, with an intoxicated look on his face: "What I value is your love."
He and I shared a pair of bright candlelights under the west window late at night, and we wrote and composed poems like an ordinary couple.
Spring is as deep as the sea, and pear blossoms are as snowy. He made "pretty pear makeup" for me, and he laughed loudly: "Huan Huan, Huan Huan! You have our child, do you know how happy I am!"
His face was full of spring smiles, and his appearance became more and more high-spirited. He pointed to the parallel begonia on my bun and said: "Huan-huan and I were young and happy, so flowers like this coexist and grow together."
He just said solemnly: "Even if there are thousands of beauties, there is only one Huan Huan in Shiro's heart, and no one can replace her."
He kissed my earlobe and whispered: "I won't let you shed so many tears."
The past, like a dream, passed through my mind like running water, and finally turned into a field of frost and snow, leaving only a vast white expanse that was really clean.
I struggled and exhausted all my strength.
There seemed to be great joy surrounding me, the loud cry of the baby and the joyful laughter. I fell tiredly into a dark dream, unable to open my eyes.
It was a long dream. There were endless past events in the dream, one after another, trivial and clear. The dream was so long, and there were so many things. Four years in the palace seemed to have passed as long as a lifetime.
When I opened my eyes, it was already a bright day. Jin Xi came up to me with joy and sadness, and said sincerely: "Congratulations to the empress, you have given birth to an emperor." She added: "Everything is well with the emperor and she will grow up."
It’s so beautiful.”
I'm still a little confused, Di Ji?
Huanbi said from the side: "Miss, you scared me to death. You have been in a coma for a whole day and a night."
I subconsciously touched my belly. My belly was flat. I was so scared that I wanted to jump. My child was gone! Once, when I woke up like this, my child was no longer alive!
I almost burst into tears. Jin Xi hurriedly hugged the child to me and said, "Mother, don't worry, Di Ji is here."
Here, my hanging heart suddenly relaxed, and I held the child tightly in my arms. She was so small, and the skin on her face was wrinkled and red, like a small soft animal, with her eyes slightly open.
, she really looked like me. She was so light and warm. I cried with joy. My daughter, this is my daughter.
Huanbi pointed at the wet nurse and said, "This is Emperor Ji's wet nurse, Jin Niang."
She was a healthy and upright woman, with fair skin, strong body, and a soft and simple temperament in her speech.
Jin Xi said: "The Emperor was born prematurely, less than a month old. The imperial doctor came to see her and said she needs to be raised and taken care of well."
After all, I was so weak after giving birth that I found it difficult to hold her for a while, but I still couldn't bear to let go. Jinxi whispered in my ear: "The emperor is here to see the empress."
I said rightly: "I'm not feeling well and I'm gone." I looked up and saw Xuan Ling stepping into the hall.
I turned my head away and just ignored him. I never wanted to see this person again.
He looked at me and said, "Still angry? You still can't understand?"
I was speechless and could only say: "What does your Majesty want me to understand?"
He was quite emotional, "You have already given birth to the Emperor Ji for me, and you still want to be so angry? I have decided that no matter what happens to the Zhen family, I will not vent my anger on you. As long as you are willing, I can give birth tomorrow.
I honor you as Zhaoyi."
I turned around and said, "I have lost my virtue and dare not occupy the position of Zhaoyi."
He came closer to me and persuaded me softly: "Huan Huan, if you are willing, you will still be my beloved concubine, and I will treat you the same as before."
I sneered, laughing uncontrollably. I stopped for a moment and said, "Does your Majesty think it's okay?"
His expression suddenly turned cold and he said: "Yes, I do pity you too much. Your character is really not suitable for living in the palace for a long time."
I have long been tired of the palace. Do you hate it? Love it? It doesn’t matter anymore. There are so many people I hate, including the Queen and Ling Rong, Concubine Hua and the Yu family. How can I kill them? How many have I killed already, and how many more will I have to kill?
No matter how much you kill, there will be no end. So much blood and killing, without warmth or sincerity. The family has been separated and people have died. I am tired to the end. Why am I willing to stay any longer? It is better to go back. It is better to go back.
.
He said to himself: "I am here to tell you that your father, brother, mother and sister have all set off on their own journeys today."
I was just stunned, and a sad smile appeared on my face, "Thank you, Your Majesty."
He shook his head, feeling a little disgusted: "You look like this - go to the Buddhist hall and calm down, you don't have to live here anymore."
Yes, I can't live here anymore. With a mother-in-law like me who doesn't like her father, and a family as dilapidated as mine, my daughter will only suffer because of me.
And the Buddhist temple...that's so far away from my daughter.
My daughter is still in her infancy, and she is just ignorant of worldly affairs. She has not yet experienced all the ups and downs of the harem, and I cannot let her experience it. And I, the mother, will leave this exhausted world.
The harem has taken away my huge efforts and emotions, and I can no longer guarantee her future. And the only thing I can do is to make arrangements for her future to the best of my ability.
The huge pain and humiliation in my heart seemed to be being scraped by sharp blades, and I bit my lower lip tightly, almost bleeding from my heart. So, I raised my head and said quietly: "This child has not been named yet, and I am about to leave.
I will allow my concubine to marry the child's name. Please grant your permission, Your Majesty."
His eyes were so calm that there was almost no emotion. After a long moment, he said: "Okay."
All the sorrow and sorrow suddenly burst into my throat, and I forced the tears back into my eyes, saying word by word: "My name is Wanwan." Every time I said a word, my heart was severely stabbed with humiliation.
His eyes flickered open, and there was a huge and indescribable shock, heartache and passion in his eyes. The heat seemed to ignite the moonlight on the ground, and his voice was slightly hoarse: "Wan Wan?"
Frustrated heartache mixed with a sneer between his lips and teeth almost came out. Sure enough, in his heart, there will always be only one Wanwan! After all, he restrained himself. Every word and deed I have at this time has nothing to do with the person in my arms.
The future and safety of my child. For her, I must be patient.
There was a soup woman lying under the quilt, but it seemed to have no warmth at all. It was so cold and wet that water could squeeze out. My feet were numb, but only the thinking in my head was still sharp. The sad smile was no longer under my control, spreading to the corners of my lips.
: "How dare I let the emperor use the late queen's small name, which is so disrespectful." Maybe deep down in my heart, I really don't want my daughter to have the same name as her, so I slowly said: "Long Hair Wan"
In the heart of the king, I hope Di Ji can do what I cannot do. Nothing like her useless mother will ever happen to her again. As long as I live, I will pray for her day and night beside the ancient Buddha of Qingdeng.
.”
He was silent for a moment, his face softened a little, and he said: "Actually, you don't have to leave the palace to practice, but you can do it in the Ancestral Temple in the palace..."
The Imperial Ancestral Temple in the palace? I flatly refused: "I am an ominous concubine, and I really dare not disturb the peace of the palace for the sake of auspiciousness."
His face looked a little embarrassed, and he no longer had any objections, "It doesn't matter if you leave early, the palace won't be able to keep you."
He took his daughter from the wet nurse's hands, held her tightly in his arms with loving eyes, and smiled like a completely loving father. He didn't even look at me, he only teased her and called her softly: "Wanwan - Wanwan -
"I don't know if he thought of Queen Chunyuan when he called her like this, but the way he looks at his daughter is indeed very loving. With this similar name, my daughter can be loved by her father. She is not
As a man, she will naturally not be involved in the fight for the crown prince. This little love is enough to prevent her from being despised by others. But my daughter’s future depends on the Queen Chunyuan who looks similar to me. I only
I feel sad, and even more sad when I feel sad.
I gathered my clothes, knelt down solemnly, kowtowed and said, "I have one more thing to ask of you."
His eyes were fixed on my face and he whispered: "Say."
The tears in my eyes were full of tears. My child, my mother is leaving, and she will definitely arrange a way out for you. But what happens in the future is ultimately up to you, and there is nothing you can do about it. I said, "Your Majesty, please enter the palace."
I have been old for a long time, have no children under my knees, and have always had a loving mother's heart. I hope that after leaving the palace, the concubine can be raised by the empress to comfort her."
He thought for a moment and said: "The Queen and Concubine Duan are both well-supported, and Concubine Jing can still be entrusted to her."
I kowtowed deeply again and said, "In this way, I have no regrets anymore."
He and I didn't talk anymore. Over the years, I actually didn't really understand him, and he didn't really understand me either. After all, I was plotting against him, just like he was plotting against me.
How did he and I get to where we are today?
The silence in the dormitory was excessive. Occasionally, a jackdaw sleeping at night would make a sad cry, resting on the broken branches, and the wind would rustle the dead leaves. The moonlight poured through the window lattice and fell on the ground, casting a faint yellow shadow.
I reached out and hugged my daughter and pressed her face tightly against mine. She didn't know anything, she just squinted her eyes and her face was red. One of my tears fell, and she smacked her lips unconsciously, wondering if she could
There was a hint of sweetness in these bitter tears.
Xuan Ling's expression was a little lost, and he looked at the moon shadow on the ground and said: "The moon is hazy, so just give Wanwan the title of 'Long Moon'."
Long Yue is a good title. Usually emperors and concubines are given titles on the day of the full moon, which are just words for virtue and virtue. Long Yue got this honor as soon as she was born. It can be seen that Xuan Ling cherishes her, and also
I comfort my concubine. I no longer have any worries, so I can quietly thank you.
He also felt boring and a little lonely. His eyes were soft and cold, like an uncertain stream of light. The years of time and remaining emotions finally condensed into one sentence: "Huan Huan, what else do you have to say to me?"
"
If there is anything else to say, there is really nothing left to say between Xuan Ling and I. However, I had to answer the emperor's question. After a long time, I said softly but firmly: "The Zhu string is broken, the bright mirror is missing, and Chao Luxi is
, Take a rest when you are fragrant, chant with old age, say farewell to the pain, try your best to eat more and don’t think about my concubine, drink the soup of Jinshui, and say goodbye to you! 2" After chanting, I bowed three times and stopped. No more words were said.
His voice was a little sour, "Okay! Okay! In this case, I have nothing to say. You have decided to leave, Longyue, and I will raise you well with your concubine." After saying this, I slowly left with my sleeves fluttering. Looking at him coldly, not a single tear fell.
Three days later, I was deprived of all titles and positions, expelled from Tangli Palace, and retreated to Ganlu Temple on the outskirts of Beijing to practice as a disciple. Jinxi and Huanbi insisted on accompanying me, leaving others to take care of Longyue.
The moment Concubine Jing took Long Yue into her hands, she was moved to tears. She held my hand and said, "I will treat the Emperor as my own child."
I said softly and sincerely: "This is my sister's child, so why should I treat it as my own? I also believe that my sister will take good care of her child."
She nodded, "I know, anyone can raise the child, but you understand that I don't have a child to rely on."
I bowed my head and said, "I also ask my sister to take care of our old friendship and take care of Shen Jieyu for me." I kissed Long Yue's crying face, and with a burst of pain in my heart, I turned my head and left.
I meditated silently, carrying only the most necessary things with me, including clothes and jewelry, all left in Tangli Palace. The night before leaving, Huanbi hesitantly asked me if I wanted to take the things that Xuan Ling had given me in the past. The jade shoe belt, after all, is the most precious item to me.
I just smiled faintly, took out a handful of "Sauvignon Blanc", and locked all the utensils given by Xuan Ling in the big box. They were all things of the past, so there was no need to keep them anymore. Only "Sauvignon Blanc" was the best. The soulmate who understands the language.
There was a drizzle outside the curtain, and the palace carriages passed by Yongxiang, passing by Yunyi Palace. It was only four years ago that I stepped into the harem from here. I laughed to myself, I was so young at the time, so high-spirited and didn't know how to restrain myself. , although I had no intention of being selected, I accidentally blurted out a poem in front of Xuan Ling, which led to so many disputes and turmoil later. If there is a time to regret, I will definitely regret that day the most.
The light drizzle was like cold tears. Outside the Yunyi Palace, there were many beautiful women standing outside, which made the whole palace gorgeous in the rainy season. I was slightly confused, but Jin Xi whispered beside me: "Today is the day of the draft."
It's the draft again, it was delayed last year, and it's finally here today.
The young girls outside the palace all have bright smiles and eager and proud eyes, like delicate flowers waiting for the king to pick them. If they know my story, will they retreat from it?
No, they will not retreat. Because Ling Rong, who entered the palace with me, has become the winner. The harem is such a crazy place. As long as one person succeeds, as long as there is a moment of success, they will There are countless people who are willing to become people whose hands are stained with blood, to fight, to kill, and to plot.
However, that is already their story.
The palace gate is towering. Looking from a distance, two familiar figures bumped into my eyes. In the white mist and rain, Mei Zhuang stood there. Wen Shichu was by her side, holding an oil umbrella to protect her from the rain.
The horse's hooves moved more slowly, as if they were beating on her heart. Hot tears rolled in her eyes. I stretched out my hand and held her tightly. At the first opportunity, Wen Shi stuffed a bag of silver to the guard and asked him to step back a few steps.
Meizhuang gently wiped away the tears that were about to fall, and smiled sadly: "It's good to go, I finally feel relieved after leaving here."
The sourness in my nose was unspeakable, and I tilted my head slightly: "Sister, take care of yourself, I'm afraid I won't be lucky enough to be close to you again."
She patted my shoulder and said, "You're going alone, so what's the point of me? I just want to be with you."
I was sad, "Why did sister say this?" Seeing no one else around, I whispered: "Sister, when you are in the palace, you must pay attention to An Lingrong and the queen, and be careful of concubines, and don't do anything for me.
It's important to stay calm and take care of yourself." I looked at Wen Shichu sincerely and said, "Mr. Wen, my sister is alone. I entrust her to you. Take care of her and don't fall into other people's traps."
Wen Shichu said: "Empress..."
I stopped with a smile, "I am no longer a queen."
He was startled, "Sister Huan..." This was a title he had called so long ago. His name was unfamiliar, and I felt it was abrupt. Meizhuang's expression changed, and she just stared at him without speaking. Wen Shichu didn't realize it, "You
Take care, I will visit you as soon as I get a chance."
I shook my head: "As soon as you enter Ganlu Temple, you are a human being in the mortal world. You and I are separated from the world and it is inconvenient to see each other again. If you are willing, please look after Di Ji and take care of my sister. This is my only wish now."
"
The look of grief in his eyes became more intense. Jin Xi held my hand behind him and said softly: "It's inconvenient to say more."
I nodded slowly, and with a firm heart, I ordered the coachman to drive away.
Behind me, Meizhuang and Wen Shichu were still standing far away in the rain, watching me leave. This was the last tender image left to me by the four-year harem.
The palace gate has come out, and the familiar red wall is behind me. In this life, I finally walked out of the bustling and ghostly harem.
I lowered the curtain on the carriage and smiled softly and sadly.
Note:
1Adapted from "Shu Bei Fu" written by Qianlong after the death of his beloved wife, Queen Xiaoxian.
2 From Zhuo Wenjun's "Farewell Letter", written on the occasion of her separation from Sima Xiangru, to express the breakup of their relationship. The whole poem is: "The spring flowers compete with each other, the five colors are exquisite, the piano is still in the imperial palace, and the new sound is replaced by the old one."
! There are mandarin ducks in the Jinshui, and water in the Han Palace. The things are new, and the people who lament the world are here, and they are too lustful to realize it! The red string is broken, the bright mirror is missing, the morning dew is shining, the fragrance is resting, the white head is groaning, hurt and parting, work hard
Don’t think about my concubine when you have extra meals. Let’s drink the Jinshui soup and bid farewell to you!”