When I arrived at Ganlu Temple, it was already dusk. Ganlu Temple, built on the outskirts of Beijing, was the largest Buddhist temple in the Great Zhou Dynasty. It was built on a mountain top with layers of beautiful rocks and thousands of peaks. It has majestic pavilions, flying eaves and brackets.
It is magnificent.www.
When I got out of the car, I was hit by the mountain wind and felt a little cold. Huanbi and Jinxi hurriedly packed their bags and jumped out of the car. They supported me one by one. Jinxi said softly: "In October,
The mountain breeze has cooled down. My wife has just given birth, so it’s best not to damage your body."
After leaving the palace, she stopped calling me "Mother", fearing that I would be sad and troubled, and because her identity was indeed embarrassing and unclear, so she just called me "Mother" for expediency. As she spoke, she put a robe on me.
The setting sun was half hanging on the steep mountain wall opposite. The blood-red color seemed to bleed, making half of the sky look like it was burning, making people feel as if their hearts were suffocated. The vast twilight gradually faded like mist.
As the atmosphere spreads, the surrounding mountains become a little gloomy. The ancient temples shaded by lush pines, the melodious sound of bells, and the curls of cigarette smoke make the sunken heart settle a little.
I said quietly: "Twilight drums and morning bells, this is how our days will be from now on."
While the three of them were watching, two young nuns came out to greet us, looked at us a few times, and asked, "Are these people from the palace? The abbot has already ordered us to bring some of them in."
I bowed slightly, helped Huanbi and Jinxi and followed them. I walked around the main hall and side halls of Ganlu Temple and walked for a long time before I saw several low bungalows. He led us in and said, "This is
Where we will live in the future, you can put your clothes and rest for a while."
Although the bungalow is low, it is refreshing inside. There is a large berth with an open bed, a table and several chairs, and a large water urn in the corner. It is very simple.
The two little nuns said again: "Please follow us to the main hall. The abbot, master and others are waiting."
Huanbi leaned over and said with a smile, "Thank you."
There were candles lit in the main hall, cigarette smoke was lingering, and the smell of sesame oil was very strong. I had only given birth for two days, and I couldn't stand the strong smell. I suppressed my coughs twice. Although there were many people in the hall, it was extremely quiet.
Hearing my two coughs, they all turned their faces. The nun at the head had a kind face and said to me: "You're here."
I felt embarrassed and hurriedly walked forward. She pointed to the futon on the ground, and I knew she was asking me to kneel down, so I knelt down. Huanbi and Jinxi also knelt down hurriedly.
Just listen to her pleasant words: "The decree from the palace is that this noble man wants to lead the practice. Even so, he has entered Buddhism, so he must abide by the precepts." So she talked about the rules and precepts, and said:
"The nun's name is Jing'an, and he is the abbot of this temple. Now that you have entered the temple, you will naturally be far away from the world of mortals. You are no longer a noble person in the palace. You can't use your old name. The nun has chosen a name for you." She said.
After a pause, she said, "Just follow the poor nuns' disciples and use the word 'Mo'." She sighed slightly, "You have a hint of sadness between your eyebrows, so just call it 'Mochou'."
Mo Chou, that is not the title that a monk should use. However, I couldn't object, so I just silently agreed. I suddenly felt sad in my heart.
I still remember when I was a child, I was studying in the study with my elder brother. The summer heat made me dizzy, but the teacher’s master finished talking about the boring "Four Books" and "Five Classics" and said, "Three hundred poems, thinking innocently..."
Guan Guanjujiu, in Hezhizhou, tells the story of the virtues of the concubine. The young lady is the daughter of the boudoir, so you must remember it..."
I kept saying "Uh-huh, uh-huh, ah, ah," and the husband's beard in front of me was so long that it dazzled my eyes, and almost made me fall asleep.
Under the grape trellis in summer, the bright and white sunlight shines down bit by bit from the leaves, and the round and semicircular white shadows all over the ground are like unmelted snowflakes.
Summer is so long, so long, it almost seems like it will never end. The chirping of cicadas is as long as one, as if competing with the light of the day to see who is longer and more boring. When I wake up from a nap, my mind is already clear.
But he still didn't want to open his eyes. Under the small window, there was the clear laughter of his daughter's house. It must be Liu Zhu and Huanbi playing with grass, or it was Bin'er, coaxing the little boy to play catch.
Play with crickets or puzzle with jigsaw puzzles.
My brother came in somehow, smiled and hit me on the head with a volume of books, "You're still pretending to be asleep, look what good stuff I got you." What a good thing, it's just a volume of poems from the Northern and Southern Dynasties. Brother
He smiled and said: "Master's class is so rigid. Even if you are a daughter, I feel sleepy while listening to it. This volume of palace poems was not easy to come by. Please read it carefully - just don't let mother know that father loves you."
, but mother knows that she needs a lecture."
So I hid it like a treasure to prevent my mother from discovering it. I secretly read one or two songs before going to bed. I only half understood them and my mind was crazy. It was like a sweet scent in my mouth. I chanted it day and night. When I got up in the morning, I was so excited.
Zhu made fun of me again: "Miss is studying like crazy. She talked in her sleep last night and said something about 'Luoyang's daughter's name is Mochou'. Mochou? Does Miss know this young lady from Luoyang?"
Bleeding, bleeding, it was as if her voice and smile were still in my ears, and she was still telling me those witty words with sharp teeth. She died so unjustly, and I only had to think about it for a moment, and my heart ached again.
Yes, the daughter of Luoyang is named Mochou. It is a sentence from "Song of Mochou" 2. At that time, this song was my favorite.
Finally, she was looking forward to Mei Zhuang coming to her maternal grandfather's house for the summer vacation, so she hurriedly pulled her over, as if she had a treasure, and read to her sentence by sentence: "The water in the river flows eastward, and the name of Luoyang's daughter is Mochou. Mochou."
I can weave silk at the age of thirteen, and pick mulberries on the streets of the south at the age of fourteen. I married into the Lu family at the age of fifteen, and I gave birth to a son named Ahou at the age of sixteen. The orchid family of the Lu family has osmanthus as a beam, and there are tulips, styrax and incense in the middle. There are twelve rows of gold hairpins on my head.
, five articles of silk shoes under each step. Coral hanging mirrors are rotten and shining, and a flat-headed slave is carrying a suitcase. What do you hope for wealth in life? I wish I could marry the king of my employer."
Meizhuang is most familiar with "Nv's Rules" and "Nv's Training", and she always doesn't care much about the poems. Often at this time, she sits under the window, concentrating on sewing an embroidered screen, "Five Blessings Holder"
The pattern of "longevity" or "ruyi in the jade hall", and the silk threads that shine like clouds, make her face more dignified and calm. She is only twelve years old, and she has already developed the calm demeanor that every lady should have.
After all, my father indulged me too much and pampered me so much that I became so arrogant.
She slowly finished listening and smiled at me. That smile was like a curling white lotus suddenly blooming from a pool of clear green water. Its brilliance, as white as jade, rose above the blue waves, its brilliance unstoppable.
She put down her needle and thread, folded her hands, and said: "I didn't understand what I heard, but I just felt that Mochou's life was really good. He was very talented, and his husband was a rich and noble son. He had a son in one fell swoop, so he naturally established a stable position in his husband's family.
There are many servants and maids coming and going, and wealth is extraordinary." Mei Zhuang smiled lightly: "Having such a situation is the best destination for a woman in the world. Huan'er, if you and I are in a situation like Mochou in the future, we should not have any extravagant hopes.
Already."
Yes, at that time, all the hope in the boudoir was to find a lover and live a peaceful and prosperous life.
However, Meizhuang's handsome brows furrowed slightly, "I just don't understand why Mochou is dissatisfied when her situation is so good. 'What do you want from wealth in life? Why don't you want to marry the king of your employer?' She really shouldn't
There is such a sigh.”
Mo Chou, Mo Chou, I said with a smile: "Mo Chou married into a wealthy family, but throughout the whole article, there is no mention of how majestic her husband is, how much he loves and respects her. If you meet an unworthy husband, you will not be able to bear it."
If you love your husband, no matter how rich you are, you are just a lonely woman in a wealthy family. What's better than having a son and being the first wife?"
Meizhuang sighed slowly and said: "That's true. Wealth also has its helplessness. Everyone always has his own suffering."
I imitated a line from the play and sang: "I lament the imperfections in the human world, but now I don't believe in them. Even if I raise the case to raise eyebrows, it's hard to get over it."
Meizhuang let out a "yeah" and stood up as if he was going to hit me: "This girl is a girl who reads idle poems and sings unoriginal operas. She doesn't look like a daughter of a boudoir. What is she doing?"
I turned around and hid behind the screen, and said with a smile: "Sister Mei, please spare me this time, I was just trying to have fun." I laughed so hard that my throat itched, and I kept saying: "That's not what I said.
I came to make fun of my sister."
Meizhuang straightened his clothes and said proudly: "Of course, my future husband in Shenmeizhuang must be outstanding, and we will grow old together." After saying that, even the corners of his eyes turned red as if he were drunk.
At that time, Meizhuang was so proud, so confident, so high-spirited, with a burning light in her eyes, as if a branch of beautiful Ganoderma came from the earth. She was not at all the depressed Shen Jieyu who lives in Cunju Hall today.
I was in a trance, but I remembered the day I left the palace, the beautiful eyebrows stood in the red wall, watching me at the end of the road. That concern and exhortation, what comes back to my heart now is just the desolate figure, standing alone
Under Wen Shichu's umbrella.
In the years that passed by in the palace, amid endless disputes, Mei Zhuang had never been truly happy.
It still seems like the days when I was newly favored. The waiter lifted me up and I was weak. It was the time when I was newly favored.
In those young and prosperous years, being pampered by the king, it is not easy to know the feeling of sadness.
I don’t know which morning it was, but it was probably the day when Fengluan Chunen’s chariot drove me to the east room of Yiyuan Hall for seven days in a row. I slept too much that day and got up later than usual. When I woke up, I saw Xuan Xuan.
Ling sat on the couch and stared at me with a smile. I couldn't help but be surprised, thinking that he had gone to court so early.
But he lay down calmly with his hands on his hands and said leisurely: "My dear, I love you so much. How can I be willing to leave and face the courtiers with their ever-stern faces when this beauty is sleeping in spring?"
I was shocked and ashamed, and said, "Is this okay? How can a concubine be as important as the emperor's political affairs? The emperor should go to court as soon as possible."
Xuan Ling yawned slowly, slowly touched my cheek with his index finger, and said with a smile: "It's a rare day, let's treat it as a day of relaxation for the ministers, and I will also steal a day of leisure." I will do it again.
To persuade him, his index finger had already covered my lips: "You can just sleep quietly like this. Why don't you go to court early? Anyway, the time has passed, and it's too late for me to rush back, so I'll just let it go."
I had no choice but to stop talking and lie quietly in his arms. At that time, the spring was warm and the flowers were blooming. The long red lacquered window under the east room was half open, and a warm wind slowly spread in with the misty fragrance of flowers.
, like a pair of jade hands from a daughter’s family, tentatively and gently half-rolling up the heavy crocodile curtain, as if you were in a sea city fantasy. A gust of wind passed by, and the cherry blossoms outside the temple were scattered like rain, and the pieces were dancing in the distance.
Passing by, reflecting the light and transparent crocodile all over the hall, the light and shadow are blurred like smoke.
When I looked up, I met Xuan Ling's affectionate gaze. I was the only one in sight, and it seemed that my whole body was silently intoxicated.
However, Fangruo knocked on the door respectfully and said that there was an urgent memorial to report.
Xuan Ling was impatient and had to go, so he had to smile at me and said: "It's just that Li Chang is confused and doesn't give the slaves any advice on this matter, so that they don't know a word."
I was confused for a moment and became curious, so I asked: "What is it?"
Xuan Ling smiled a little narrowly, "Don't report the intruders at the gate, don't worry about the new beauty. 3"
I was even more shy, spat lightly, lowered my head and said, "Your Majesty is so ungrateful, making fun of others like this."
Such a good time is just a dream after all.
Now, I can only sigh: How can I be the emperor of the Fourth Dynasty and not be as good as the Lu family? 4
Mo Chou, even if he realizes that love in his life can be cared for, at least he can live in peace and accompany his young son and his family. But for me, my love was wrongly paid, my family was ruined, and my father and brother could not be safe until my death, and I couldn't even have my only daughter by my side.
It's worse than worrying!
Nowadays, I sit in front of the mirror with worry, sleep with worry at night and wake up with worry. I really want to persuade myself, "Don't worry".
Just as she was lost in thought, Jing'an looked at Huanbi and Jinxi behind me and said: "People in the empty sect should not be served by anyone. It's just that the palace has told you to be like Concubine Shu in the past..." She hurriedly changed
He said: "The sin... is the precedent set by Chong Jingxian Master, so let the two of them practice together with you."
Huanbi and Jinxi looked slightly happy and agreed immediately. I looked up and saw that what was enshrined in the main hall was neither Tathagata nor Guanyin, but a huge Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva. There was a large stone incense burner in front of the Buddha, inscribed with "天古斗"
"" three characters. The right side of the stone bed under the furnace is engraved with "Fusheng in the nectar land, longevity with the jade slips in the sky", and the left side is engraved with "The end of winter in the tenth year of Longqing".
The Buddha statue was made into a brilliant golden body, and looked even more majestic under the bright candlelight. My heart suddenly palpitated, thinking of the newly born Hazy Moon, and for a moment I felt extremely miserable.
I have realized Bodhi. If hell is not empty, I will never become a Buddha. If I don’t go to hell, who will? The Bodhisattva’s Dharma is indeed profound.”
Jing'an glanced at me, took a treasure vase beside him, dipped his hand into the dew in the vase, put it on my forehead, and said: "Sakyamuni has the words 'I preach the nectar purification method for everyone'
"The nectar can relieve the world's sorrows. You are already outside the world of mortals, and all your worries can be thrown away."
Her tone was compassionate and her look was kind, as if she could understand my helplessness. I nodded slightly, understanding. She pointed to a tall and round nun next to her and said: "This is my junior sister, whose name is Jingbai, who is in charge of this temple.
For daily chores, if you need anything in the future, just come to her."
After giving the order, they dispersed.
The wind was strong at night, and it made a "puff" sound on the cotton paper window paper, making me sob. I sat on the chair, and Jin Xi lit up the oil lamp and put away her clothes.
I said calmly: "What's there to clean up? It's just a few replacement clothes. From now on, I will be wearing gray clothes until I grow old."
Jinxi didn't say anything, but Huanbi laughed and said, "Miss's name is really special. Mochou, it doesn't look like an ordinary name, but more like the name of a boudoir lady."
I said: "The abbot just wants to warn me that since I have entered Buddhism, I should not think about the sorrows and troubles of the previous world." I murmured: "Isn't he as worried as the Lu family? I really think that his life is uncertain.
It’s time to leave ’5.”
Huanbi didn't hear clearly and said, "What did the lady say?"
I smiled indifferently, "It's nothing. The most important thing in my life from now on is to pray day and night, hoping that my father and brother, who are far away in the north and south of Lingnan, and Gongli Yuyue will be safe for the rest of their lives. This is my only wish."
Huanbi bit her lower lip and said softly: "This is my only wish."
I listened quietly to the sound of the wind. The wind in the mountains was different from that in the palace. No matter how warm and bright the wind in the palace was, there was still a chilly feeling with too much yin. But the wind in the mountains was whistling by.
There was a roaring sound. I sat for a long time, and suddenly my body felt tight and cold, and my stomach began to cramp, like a small blue-gray snake spitting out cold messages. Huanbi saw that my face was not good, so she hurriedly stepped forward and said
: "What's wrong, Miss? She looks so ugly."
Jin Xi heard the noise and hurriedly put down the things in her hands and stepped forward: "My wife has just given birth to a child, and the remaining blood in her body has not been exhausted. Today, she has been working hard with horses and carriages. I'm afraid something is wrong." She said anxiously: "
The water on the stove hasn't boiled yet, so I need to find some brown sugar to mix it with and drink it hot."
I was anxious and wanted to be strong, so I couldn't help but said: "Where did the brown sugar come from for a while? I'll just tolerate it."
Jin Xi hurriedly said: "You can't take the problems caused by confinement lightly, or you may suffer from lifelong diseases." After saying that, he stood up and said: "I will go and borrow some from the sisters-in-law next door to deal with it."
After saying that I was going to put on my clothes and go out, Huanbi hurriedly helped me to lie down on the bed and covered me with several layers of quilts. I was anxious. The life in the temple was naturally not as good as in the palace. My body had not recovered yet, but I was implicated in Jinchao.
He Huanbi takes care of me everywhere. Thinking of this makes me feel more painful in my stomach.
Not only had some time passed, the door creaked, and it was Jin Xi who had come back. She said in a helpless tone: "It's late at night and I'm afraid everyone has fallen asleep. No one is willing to open the door, let alone borrow some brown sugar."
The voice was even lower: "I went to find Master Jingbai, and she scolded me a few times, but I didn't dare to alert the abbot yet."
Huanbi thought I was asleep, and sighed in a low voice: "Just now, the abbot master said that he was following the example of Concubine Shu in the past. When he turned around, there was no hot water or hot water."
I listened vaguely and felt even sadder.
Suddenly Jin Xi seemed to remember something, rubbed her hands and said happily: "There is a unique room under the big tree in the distance over there. I don't know which master lives there. I will go look for it again."
Huanbi hurriedly stopped her and said: "In the evening, I heard from the two little nuns who led the way that there is a very weird sister-in-law living there. No one dares to talk to her. It's better to go and ask others."
Jin Xi said: "Others refused to open the door just now, and I'm afraid they are even more reluctant now. I'd better go and take a look before talking." Then she said, "When the water is hot, boil a pot so that the lady can scrub her body.
"
After a while, Jin Xi still hadn't come back, and I felt even colder. Suddenly, I heard the door being slammed open with force. A gust of cold wind carried a snow-white figure rushing in. Huanbi let out a startled sound and said:
"who is it?"
The man didn't answer. He went straight to my bed, touched my forehead, and took my pulse. His gesture was rough and sharp. He looked at me for a moment and said coldly: "You just gave birth to a baby, didn't you?"
I struggled to raise my head, and saw that the person had a somewhat fierce face, but she was also pretty, but her appearance was frozen like frost, and her expression was very cold. I saw that she was dressed as a nun, and she must be from the temple.
A fellow student then signaled Huanbi not to be upset and reluctantly said, "Yes. Today is the third day."
She hummed softly, with a look of disdain on her face, and said, "What are you doing to give birth to a child for those stinky men? You deserve it!" Then she dropped a bag of things in her arms and threw it on the bedside and said, "This is enough for you to drink.
"
Huanbi hurriedly took it and took a look, beaming with joy: "It's brown sugar! I'm afraid it weighs three or four kilograms."
The man didn't say anything, and took out a few slices of ginger and ordered me to put them in my mouth, saying, "If you put them in your mouth, this stuff will generate heat."
After saying that, he seemed to be angry with someone, and walked away angrily like a gust of wind.
He ran in after Jin Xi, panting and saying, "That person's legs and feet are so fast, I couldn't keep up with her."
I said: "Is she the one with the weird temperament?"
Jin Xi said yes and said: "I have no choice but to go and ask for help. Who would have thought that she would open the door after hearing that I said the brown sugar was here to save my life."
Huanbi served me a cup of thick brown sugar water and said: "In the Buddhist monastery, the sisters-in-law who live next to me are unwilling to come to the rescue. It is really chilling. The slaves always think that monks are compassionate.
I don’t want to look like those people in the palace.”
I shook my head and smiled bitterly: "We were expelled from our position and were abandoned by the emperor. Like Concubine Shu, we asked ourselves to leave the palace and lead the practice in the name of Concubine Shu. Of course we cannot
We talk about the same day." Huanbi looked slightly sad. I was afraid that she would feel sorry for me, so I changed the subject and said, "Although that lady just now had a cold face, she had a rare warm heart."
So I took ginger in my mouth, thinking about my Hazy Moon, and fell into a drowsy sleep.
Note:
1Bhikshuni: Another name for nun.
2 "Song of Mochou": composed by Xiao Yan during the Southern and Northern Dynasties.
3 "Don't report the invading morning guest at the pass, don't worry about the newly acquired beauty": Selected from "Fuping Shaohou" by Li Shangyin of the Tang Dynasty. The whole poem is: "The seven countries and three sides have not arrived, and the thirteen people have attacked Fupinghou. No
Collecting gold bullets and throwing them outside the forest, but regretting that the silver bed is at the head of the well. Colorful trees turn and lamp beads are scattered here and there, and embroidered sandalwood pillows and jade carvings are carved. When the gate is closed, the intruders will not be reported. Don't worry about the new beauty."
45 is selected from "Two Poems on Mawei (Part 2)" by Li Shangyin of the Tang Dynasty. The whole poem is: "Overseas disciples heard that they were watching the nine states, and their fate was uncertain. I heard that tigers traveling in the sky were calling night watchmen, and there were no more chickens and people announcing the dawn. This is
The Japanese Army and the Sixth Army were stationed at the same time, and the morning glory was laughed at during the Chinese Valentine's Day. How could the Emperor of the Fourth Century not be as worried as the Lu family?" This was used to satirize the futility and unreliability of the love between Emperor Ming and Concubine Yang Guifei of the Tang Dynasty, and it also mocked Li Longji's helplessness as the emperor.
The incompetence and helplessness of preserving the beloved concubine and the tragic fate of Yang Guifei who was favored throughout her life but died tragically in Maweipo.