When I saw Yun Tiancai's suicide note, I burst into tears. Only then did I understand why he asked me to borrow the thousand yuan.
The suicide note was addressed to his wife——
Xiaofan:
When you read this letter, I believe that we are separated by centuries, the world of Yin and Yang.
Xiaofan, you are right, no matter whether we are in tears or devastated, we cannot change the heavy, iron-clad facts before us.
How much I want to fulfill the promise that I have been thinking about in my heart for a long time, but I can’t do it in this life. I will definitely pay you back in the next life. I’m sorry, Xiaofan.
My heart was so panicked that I couldn't even breathe smoothly. There were so many things in my heart that wanted to burst out in an instant, but I couldn't cry out. This made me feel so wronged.
Until today, I didn't understand what it feels like to be completely hopeless. The whole world has abandoned me, and of course, you. I really don't blame you. Because you are also in trouble. None of this is your fault.
The world can abandon me, so why can't I choose to abandon the world first? Completely forget those sorrows, those distresses, those depressions, and go to a place where there are no tears and flowers bloom all year round!
How many long centuries have I spent on my knees before God in my previous life? How many days and nights did I get the short time to sleep with you in this life? I hate this world, and my Satan-like face slowly pushes me towards eternal destruction.
The abyss of death!
I thought I could make a miracle happen in my life, but when I gave up everything, I discovered that the so-called miracle meant that I could die while I was still alive, together with my mother...
Xiaofan, how much I want to go back to the past. To me now, this is undoubtedly a dream. Don’t laugh at me.
As the saying goes, when a bird is about to die, its song is mournful; when a man is about to die, his words are also kind. Xiaofan, go find him, I know he is the one you have been dreaming about. Only then can he give you better things.
Life gives our children the best future. I am incompetent. Between my mother's life and your happiness, I can only choose the former. Because I am too incompetent. I am not a qualified man. I don't even have the ability to treat my mother.
nothing.
In fact, I can make money in some ways. But I don't bother to do that. Firstly, I really can't reach out for that kind of money. Secondly, I don't want you and our children to be shamed because of my crime.
.
In fact, death is not the result I want, but I really have no way to reverse the current situation. Instead of lingering, it is better to burn calmly. To live in pain, it is better to let yourself die while everything is still beautiful. Stay
What I wrote down are all good memories. There is no sorrow or pain.
Xiaofan, time is running out. I want to hold you just like when I came. But I know that we can never go back. My eyes are full of tears and my whole body is trembling, but I can’t help but
Looking at this ironclad fact, I am helpless.
Xiaofan, I'm leaving. I believe all the unpleasantness in the past will turn into smoke at this moment. When I look back, I will realize how meaningless and unworthy our quarrels were. We, always
You won’t cherish what you have while you have it. You won’t feel sad until it’s gone.
Xiaofan, please, please take good care of yourself and our son. In this world, I only have you two to worry about. Live well. You are so smart and capable. You will definitely find yourself.
Really happy.
Xiaofan, don't be sad. I believe that the light of heaven will shine on me. There will be no pain there, and I will be very happy. Flowers will bloom there all year round, the sun will shine there, and the birds will sing and the flowers will smell fragrant. Please!
Xiaofan, when the sun rises in the east, a new day has arrived. Take a deep breath and you will be greeted by a new life. Go ahead and don’t hesitate.
Xiaofan, no one can stop you from living a happy life. I will have one more eye watching you quietly in heaven. So, you have to be happy.
Xiaofan, when I was walking on the Yin-Yang Road and crossing the Naihe Bridge, when I saw Meng Po, I thought, I would drink Meng Po soup and choose to forget all the suffering and pain in this life, but I will never forget yours.
If there is an afterlife, if there is reincarnation, I will look for you according to your appearance in the memory of my previous life. Even if it is a hundred years of purgatory, as long as I can meet you in the next life, I can face it with a smile.
Xiaofan, in the reincarnation of the century, if we can meet in the next life, I will never let go again. I have been waiting for a hundred years, and I love your hand deeply, and I will never let go again.
Will there be you at the end of the century?
Xiaofan, do you know how much I have to say to you? But these words cannot express my dissatisfaction with you in words.
I am attached to you and really don't want to die.
However, the cruel fact has forced me to have no choice, even if I want to resist. I stand in front of the God of fate, and I have no chance to struggle. I am like a pile of mud, at the mercy of it!
Well, it's really getting late. I will leave this world with my mother. She promised me. She told me long ago: Let me go. I am really tired. But, how could I let her
What if a person leaves this world alone? As a son, I failed to make her feel happy while she was alive, so I can only accompany her to another world. Xiaofan, maybe you will think that I am selfish,
I feel that I only have mother in my heart and not you. No, you are wrong, I have you in my heart! I will pay attention to you and our children in the other world.
By the way, I went to the mall just now. I bought a new set of clothes and a new pair of shoes for my mother. Then, I will carry my mother on my back to this deserted city late at night, and let her,
And I will take another look at the world, and then, I will carry her to the riverside. I will carry her on my back, and we will flow into the cold river water, go to the center of the river, and then disappear together with my mother.
I believe that I will like that cold feeling, because it will make me feel that I am still alive before death.
Xiaofan, I will never be alone on the road I walk.
Xiaofan, remember our agreement, in the next life, I will make a lot of money and let you be my happiest wife!
I'm sorry Xiaofan, I'm sorry!
Oh, by the way, I borrowed the money to buy clothes and shoes for my mother from Director Feng of our hospital. Please pay him back for me. I'm sorry for causing you such trouble when I left. All of this
Let me return everything to you in my next life.
I'm leaving, Xiaofan. I can't continue talking to you because I'm afraid that I can't bear to leave.
Xiaofan, my wife, please tell our son, tell him that his father is a weak person and an incompetent person. But you know that I love him in my heart, but I don’t have the ability to do it.
love him.
After leaving, in the next life, when you find someone across the street staring at you affectionately, it will be me. Just like we have known each other in this life.
Yun Tiancai’s masterpiece.
I cried. I wanted to suppress my tears but I really couldn't.
"Dean Feng, what do you think we should do?" Shen Zhongyuan was also sighing and asked me.
I suddenly woke up and said, "Call the police immediately and report it to the Health Department immediately? Lao Shen, you call the police and I will call Director Zou and report it immediately."
After hearing my report, Director Zou immediately spoke in a serious tone, "How could this happen?"
I said: "I never expected that. Last night he asked me to borrow money and said he had something urgent to do. But who would have thought that he would not be able to figure it out?"
He then asked me: "What else did he say to you?"
I replied: "Nothing, just a casual chat. He seemed normal at the time. This incident caught me by surprise."
He said: "That's it. Then have you called the police? Have you notified his family?"
I said: "The police have been called, but his family members have not been notified yet. I think it is better for the police to notify this matter. After all, we only found his suicide note and did not confirm whether he was actually dead."
He asked me randomly: "What was written in his suicide note?"
Only then did I realize: He must be worried about whether Yun Tiancai said something unfavorable to him. I said: "That is a letter he wrote to his wife. We shouldn't read it originally, but the situation is special, so
...In his suicide note...Director Zou, I cried when I read it."
He said: "I'll be right over."
He hung up the phone immediately. I didn't know what he would feel at this moment.
Of course, the police arrived first. After questioning the doctor on duty, they took away Yun Tiancai's suicide note. I asked one of the policemen, "What should I do about this matter?"
The policeman said: "What else can we do? Wait until someone finds his and his mother's bodies. This city has such a long river section, who knows where he went down from? Wait until there is news.
Say it again."
I immediately became anxious, "What if he figures it out later? What if he suddenly doesn't want to do that? Please look for it."
The policeman looked dumbfounded, "Then give us some advice. How do you think we can find him?"
I was suddenly stunned.
At this time, another policeman came over and asked me: "Are you Dean Feng?"
I nodded, "Yes."
He said: "You are mentioned in Yun Tiancai's suicide note. Please cooperate with us in making a transcript."
As a result, they were in my office, and I once again recounted last night's situation to them, except for Yun Tiancai's comment about Jian Yi.
The policeman asked me: "Don't you feel that he has suicidal thoughts at all? Or, you don't find anything unusual about him at all?"
I shook my head with a wry smile, "He has always been relatively calm after being punished. After the announcement of his transfer, I didn't find anything unusual about him. He seemed to be facing it with a normal mind.
His behavior was relatively normal last night. Although he left early, I just thought he was in a bad mood. If I encountered something like that with him, I would be in a bad mood. In that case, he didn't want to drink.
Too much wine is understandable. Do you think so?"
The policeman nodded, "Yes. A person who can't figure it out usually only lasts a few minutes, and then he starts to get confused. Now it seems that he had already decided his own affairs before having dinner with you yesterday, so he
Will behave so calmly in front of you. When a person is not even afraid of death, that is when he is the calmest. President Feng, there is something I cannot understand. As the deputy director of a hospital like yours
, he doesn’t even have a thousand dollars on him?”
I said sadly: "I guess he may not even have a hundred dollars on him."
Immediately, I told the police about his mother's illness and his family situation.
After hearing this, the police also sighed with emotion, "Who would believe it? What kind of society is this now? A vice president of a hospital was so poor that he chose to commit suicide. Who would want to be an upright official in the future?
?”
I deeply agree.
But the policeman then said: "Dean Feng, I didn't say anything just now. I read his suicide note and it seems that he committed suicide not only because of financial difficulties, but also for emotional reasons.
"
Of course I understood what he meant, "Comrade Police, I also read his suicide note. Judging from the content, he still had a deep relationship with his wife. He may no longer be in this world now, Comrade Police
, please don’t make his relatives suffer any more. As a colleague of Yun Tiancai, I beg you."
The policeman nodded, "Yes. But Dean Feng, please understand the nature of our work. We still have to do a minimum investigation."
I nodded, "Thank you."
At this time Director Zou arrived, accompanied by the director of the Health Department office.
The policeman's attitude was much more polite when he was in front of him, at least much more polite than when he was in front of me, because the policeman actually took the initiative to report the situation to him. I couldn't help but sigh in my heart: Although I am also a deputy director,
In the eyes of this policeman, he is far inferior to the level of the director of the Department of Health.
After listening to the report, Director Zou nodded slightly, "Comrade police, judging from the situation you just introduced, this incident should be just an accidental suicide. In this way, I will discuss something with Director Feng, and you can go
Get busy."
The policeman left immediately, and then he started to ask me: "Where is his suicide note?"
I replied: "The police took it."
He was stunned for a moment, and then said after a while: "Xiao Feng, you must do a good job of explaining this matter to the employees. Nowadays, some people are always worried that the world will not be chaotic, and rumors may soon spread all over the sky.
.”
I nodded, "Yes, this matter cannot be delayed. I will briefly inform the heads of each department about this matter immediately."
He nodded slightly, "That's good. Xiao Feng, you must pay great attention to this matter. You should know that rumors can sometimes kill people." (To be continued)