Her mother was very happy to see her and said, "Let's have dinner at home tonight. I'll cook more dishes."
I hurriedly said: "Mom, we are going out for dinner tonight. A friend of mine just opened a restaurant, which is said to be very good. I have already agreed to go to her place for dinner tonight."
In fact, what I said was to Tong Yao. Then I said to Tong Yao: "Let's go together tonight and call Fang Qiang."
She nodded, "Okay."
My mother immediately became unhappy and said, "Isn't it good to eat it at home? There is a lot of MSG added to the food outside. If you eat it regularly, it will spoil the taste."
In fact, I knew that my mother wanted the family to have an atmosphere like when the family eats together. I felt a little ashamed and said, "Mom, I won't go anywhere tomorrow. I'll just eat at home."
My mother was still nagging, so I smiled bitterly and said to Tong Yao: "Let's go and sit on the terrace. I've already made tea."
The child was also very happy after seeing Tong Yao. This child is crazy about himself. As long as guests come to the house, he will become particularly happy. Today's children are too lonely. There are no children of the same age to play with, so it becomes a problem to pester guests.
A very normal thing.
But I knew that Tong Yao might come to talk to me about something today, so I didn’t let the child go to the terrace with us anymore. I asked the nanny to take the child to play outside.
"Don't go too far. Watch out for the car." I told the nanny.
The child was unhappy at first, but now he heard I said he could go outside to play, and he immediately cheered.
Tong Yao and I sat down together on the terrace, and I poured her a cup of tea.
She and I haven't seen each other for a long time. Now after what happened with my father, I feel that there is an awkwardness and deliberate politeness between us.
The awkwardness and politeness between us on the phone was not so strong because the distance diluted it.
Tong Yao took a sip of tea and finally spoke, "Feng Xiao, I'm sorry about your father."
I hurriedly said: "Let's not talk about that thing, okay? You are not to blame for that thing. I was in a bad mood at the time, and I shouldn't blame you for that thing."
She shook her head slightly and said: "Feng Xiao, I have that kind of personality. I am carefree. Mainly because I always treat you as a friend, so I always have no scruples when in front of you. It was true that I was too much at that time.
It was a little too willful, and it also seemed too domineering. But Feng Xiao, you know? I was really worried at the time, worried that you would go astray and affect your career because of that incident. But sometimes you are really
Very stubborn, once you decide something, it's hard to persuade you to go back."
I don’t want to talk about the things that have passed anymore, “Tong Yao, let’s not talk about this anymore. Okay? By the way, when are you going to marry Fang Qiang? You and he are not young anymore, it’s still too early.
Let’s get things done.”
She shook her head, "I made an agreement with him that we must wait until the case we worked on together before is completely revealed before we consider this matter."
I immediately laughed, "You still say that I am stubborn, but I think you are more stubborn than me. If that case never comes to light, won't you get married? There is no direct relationship between getting married and solving the case. During the war years, many people
It is also said that people will not get married until the revolution succeeds. But what happened later? Aren't there so many people getting married? It is okay to talk about such things, and it can also be regarded as a kind of self-encouragement, but the development of things is often not based on people's expectations.
If the case cannot be solved in ten years, do you still have to wait forever? Tong Yao, I used to work in obstetrics and gynecology, and I have seen many women have difficulty in giving birth because they are too old. You
Mom is also so worried about your marriage, so you better not wait any longer."
She immediately laughed and said, "I seem to have been moved by your words."
In fact, there was a bitter taste in my heart, which she didn't know. I said, "Since you think what I said makes sense, then don't wait any longer."
She looked at me, "So, what about you? Now that you are a leader, you can't live like this anymore, right? For your current status, marriage is a big deal for you. In fact, although I often said that you
It's too casual on personal matters, but I understand you in my heart. After all, you are a single man and you are still so young. But this is not the reason for you to continue like that? The organization may not be like us ordinary people.
Think about the problem. Feng Xiao, I think it’s better for you to find a suitable person to get married as soon as possible. This is the fundamental way to solve the problem."
I shook my head and said: "Appropriate? These two words are easy to say. Tong Yao, you know about my two marriages. You said, after a man has experienced such two marriages, the kind of guilt in his heart
It cannot go away, and there will also be a fear of marriage. Unless I can meet someone I really like. However, the person I really like does not like me, so suitability is only relative. But I
I don’t want to make do with it because I’m afraid of experiencing the pain caused by marriage again.”
Her face immediately turned red. She completely understood what I meant. In fact, wasn't I expressing my feelings to her again?
A person is like this sometimes. Although he knows that some things are impossible, the hope in his heart will always rise, and he will always say to himself: Give it a try, maybe it will happen.
This time she changed her mind.
Her face turned redder, and there was a special tenderness in her eyes when she looked at me, "Feng Xiao, there are many beautiful and sensible women in the world, and there should be many of them suitable for you. I know myself, I am really right
You're not suitable. First of all, it's my personality. As a friend, maybe you can forgive me for everything, but as a wife, we won't last too long. When two people become close and familiar together, they will magnify each other's shortcomings.
, and the tolerance for the other person's shortcomings will be reduced. My character cannot be changed, so why can't you be the same? Secondly, I really can't accept your past. Your past life was too chaotic. Whenever I think of it,
I can't stand the fact that you have had relationships with so many women. Feng Xiao, as a friend, I can accept your past, but as a wife, I really can't accept it. Do you understand what I mean?"
I was completely disappointed once again. I nodded and said: "Yes, I understand. So I have to live like this in my life, because I believe that no woman can accept my past. Unless the woman herself has experienced it."
It’s the same experience as me. But I can’t accept that kind of woman. Maybe you think I’m weird and unfair to women, but that’s how it is in my heart, and I can’t change it.”
She said softly: "I know... Feng Xiao, let's not talk about this matter today. Okay?"
I smiled bitterly and shook my head: "Okay, let's not talk about it. In fact, there is no point in talking about such a thing, because it has no effect no matter how long I say it. But Tong Yao, I don't like it now.
It was like that before. I have learned to restrain myself and no longer be too casual in my personal life like before. This is not because of anything else, mainly because I feel that some things are actually meaningless. Forget it, let’s not talk about this. Tong Yao, you
Is there anything you want to tell me today?"
She shook her head, "Fang Qiang told me that he met you, and he also told me that you have changed a lot now..." At this point, she couldn't help but laugh, "He said that you have changed a lot now..."
You are very capable of being a leader. Why didn’t I feel that? I think you are still the same as before.”
I also laughed, "That was at the local level. I met him in the Shangjiang City Public Security Bureau, and then he came to my office again. Maybe in that environment, I became more serious without knowing it."
Are you up?"
She smiled and nodded: "Maybe. But he also said that you have learned a skill now, which is logical reasoning. He said that you are really good, and your accuracy in analyzing the case is not like an amateur. Feng Xiao,
I'm surprised, how could you suddenly become so powerful?"
I smiled and said, "Maybe it was influenced by you?"
She immediately glared at me, "What influence do I have on you? I'm not good at this. I think there is a possibility in this matter, that is, you have such potential, but you were in a bad situation before.
It was a state of chaos, but now that you have become a leader, you have a sense of responsibility and self-confidence, and this ability has been revealed. Feng Xiao, do you think this is the case?"
I nodded and said, "Maybe."
She added: "In fact, a person's self-confidence is very important. Any successful person is very confident, and self-confidence is a necessary condition for stimulating a person's potential. I remember a famous person said this: Believe
Only talented people are the most beneficial to mankind. In fact, each of us has unlimited potential. The reason why we have not realized its power is because it is still sleeping. And the strong self-confidence we possess
, is undoubtedly the source that inspires this infinite power. Also, Shakespeare once said: If a person's mind is inspired, even if his organs have shrunk, he will cheer up from the heavy paralysis and start activities again, like a slough.
Like a skinned snake, it gains new power. The key to realizing human potential lies in whether it can be stimulated. Many times we do not lack the ability to do a certain job well, but lack the confidence and courage to dare to think and do it.
Courage. Once we have self-confidence, the motivation to move forward and the potential for innovation can be stimulated. On the contrary, if a person is afraid of wolves before doing things, always thinks that he can't do this, and he can't do that, he will always be self-conscious.
If he denies it and dares not try, then he will never have a chance to make progress, and his potential will only remain dormant forever. Feng Xiao, do you think so?"
I nodded and said, "That's right. There is such a classic case in psychology: a famous psychologist came to a university to conduct his experiment. He selected the stupidest student from one of the classes of college students.
The most disliked girl, and asked her classmates to change their previous views of her. On a sunny day, everyone rushed to take care of this girl, show her courtesy, and accompany her home.
I believed in my heart that she was a beautiful and intelligent girl. What happened? Within a year, this girl became more generous and her behavior was completely different from before. She became better and better, and later made quite a lot of achievements.
results. So obviously, the girl in this case has not become another person, but she has shown the potential contained in each of us. This kind of beauty can only be achieved when we believe in ourselves and surround ourselves with
It will only show up when everyone believes in us. From this we can draw the conclusion that confidence can create miracles. However, confidence is not innate, and not everyone has it. In fact, we
Many modern people have a low sense of self-confidence, especially after going through life and experiencing some of the ups and downs of life. Some people give up on themselves and become unable to get up. Some people even prevent themselves from losing their lives by belittling themselves.
Failure. Their reason is this: Confidence is sometimes a very dangerous thing. The more confident you are, the easier it is to hit a wall and become the target of public criticism, so it is best for people to live with their tail between their legs. Others,
They have lost confidence in themselves since they were young, because adults always scold them like this: You idiot, you can't do anything well, and you won't have any future prospects! These words from their elders are actually a negative mentality for them.
Hint. After a long time, they will comfort themselves like this: Anyway, I have been a fool since I was a child, and I will not do any promising career. I can't have any whims. This is actually also a characteristic of our Chinese-style education, right?
In our daily lives, the strong are not necessarily the winners; however, victory must belong to those who are confident. Only confidence makes everything possible."
She nodded.
I continued: "As long as each of us is confident in ourselves, it is possible to overcome difficulties and achieve success. This is not empty talk, but is proved by the German psychiatric expert Lindemann through personal experiments. Lindemann
He believes that as long as a person has confidence in himself, he can maintain mental and physical health. At that time, the whole country of Germany was very concerned about the tragic adventure of crossing the Atlantic Ocean in a single boat. More than a hundred brave men had already sailed the boat one after another, but all failed.
In the end, no one survived. Lindemann concluded that these victims were not defeated physically in the first place, but mainly died of mental breakdown, panic and despair. In order to verify his point of view, he chose to conduct the experiment himself. So he chose to conduct the experiment himself.
, Lindemann set out. He sailed a small boat alone into the vast Atlantic Ocean. He knew that he was conducting a psychological experiment that had never been done before in history, and he was prepared to sacrifice his life.
During the voyage, Dr. Lindemann encountered unexpected difficulties and was on the verge of death many times. He even had hallucinations before his eyes, his motor sense was also in a state of numbness, and sometimes he really felt hopeless. But as long as this thought occurred,
When he rose, he immediately blamed himself loudly: Coward, do you want to repeat the same mistakes and be buried in the belly of the fish? No, I will definitely succeed! With such confidence, what will be the final result? He succeeded! Indeed, confidence
It can produce huge spiritual power and stimulate the huge dormant potential in the body. In fact, I didn’t have much self-confidence in the past, mainly because I later engaged in administrative work and was suddenly placed at the top of the list.
I was in an important position, so I had to force myself to work hard to do everything well, and my self-confidence was built in the process of constantly doing everything well."
She immediately laughed and said, "Listening to what you said, it already shows that you are a very confident person."
I shook my head and said: "No, Tong Yao, you are actually more confident than me. You are not even a policeman now, but you are still so concerned about the cases you have handled, and you are still working hard to solve them. This is very amazing. I often
I'm thinking, if I were like you, I might have given up long ago. So this is one of the things I admire about you."
She tilted her head and asked me with a smile: "You mean there are many great things about me that are worthy of your admiration? This is one of them? Tell me, I like it best when others praise me."
"
I laughed immediately. "You, why haven't you changed at all?"