She crawled into my arms, "Feng Xiao, you don't want me. I have no choice but to marry someone else... Wuwu! Today is the last time for both of us. I will never do this with you again."
Something happened..."
I was stunned for a moment, and an endless feeling of desolation completely filled my body at this moment. I looked at the ceiling and gently stroked her hair, "Hey! Are you getting married? What a good thing.
...I'm sorry, I can't give you what you want. I'm sorry..."
She was still crying in my arms, and I could only say nothing.
In fact, I was shaken several times in my heart: I might as well marry her, she is actually very good.
However, when I thought about my relationship with Lin Yu, that Zhong Feng had been close to Governor Huang, and everything else, I suddenly understood: I may never have the chance to get married again in this life.
In fact, I now understand that the beginning of my relationship with Lin Yu already foreshadowed that my marriage would never have a good outcome, and after Zhao Menglei and Chen Yuan left, my marriage would become even more uncertain.
.
Unless Lin Yu and I completely and completely sever that relationship.
But, is this possible?
After a long time, her crying gradually became softer, and I was still stroking her hair. Only then did I ask her: "Who is he?"
She said softly: "You should know..."
I understood immediately. Yes, I should know that it could only be him, her current collaborator, the man who designed the distinctive restaurant.
I said softly: "Congratulations. At least he can give you what you want."
She stretched out her white lotus-like arms and hugged my neck tightly, "Feng Xiao, I can't forget you. But I must be a good wife from now on, so I can't do it with you anymore."
Such a thing happened.”
I patted her soft back gently, "I know. You have to be like this..."
She said: "Let's go have a meal together."
I shook my head slightly, "We can still have dinner together in the future."
She said: "Then, let's rest for a while and then do it again? Let's do it the last time."
I didn't answer her, I just held her body tightly in my arms. She didn't know that I was already crying at this time...
We don't do anything like that again.
It was hunger that made me think rationally. And I felt that it would be meaningless to do such a thing even once more. We have done it more than once, and we are already very familiar with each other's bodies. This is not something we should no longer cherish after we get it.
The problem is that we cannot live together. Even if we do it again, it will be just a short-term vent, and after the vent is over, it will still be more uncomfortable and lonely.
She was in my arms, and what I smelled in my nostrils was the unique fragrance of her hair. I patted her back gently, "Zhong Feng, let's leave here. I want to go home. You
You should go back to him right away. You and I have been destined to each other in this life, starting from the day you became my patient, then I went to your restaurant for dinner, and then you accepted my experimental treatment.
Including us going abroad together, we have been together until today, and we have each other, which is enough. I am very satisfied."
She doesn't speak.
I continued: "Maybe you think I am selfish, or you think my life is chaotic. There is nothing wrong with that. Yes, I am selfish and my life is chaotic. I fully admit this. To be honest.
, I have been sorry to many women in my life, and every time when the critical moment came, I would shrink back, and even...even I had no choice but to do it for myself...forget it, let's not talk about it.
To be honest, I look down on myself many times, and you may not know me well. I am not worthy of you at all. Really, what I said is not a lie. But I must live for myself.
, and for my family and children.
Sometimes I think to myself: Feng Xiao, why are you alive? I didn't understand it at first, but later I realized that I am actually very selfish. I have to admit that I live more for myself.
I like women, I also hope to achieve success in my career, and I hope to be respected by others. However, I often don’t consider other people’s feelings too much. In addition, I have many secrets that you don’t know.
, and these secrets are also one of the reasons why we can't live together. So, I can't form a family with you, can't...but I hope you can be happy, I really hope."
Her head was on my arm, and I could already feel moisture on my arm. I knew she was crying again.
I sighed softly, "Zhong Feng, let's all go back. I hope we can always remain good friends. I will go to Lin Yi's place tomorrow and have a good talk with him. I have thought about it, some things cannot be avoided.
Even if I escape now, I will have to face it one day in the future. I understand what you mean, you are worried that I will be hurt.
But I can only face it. If there is really any danger, I will arrange the whereabouts of the children and my mother in advance. I can't escape, because escape is not an option. Moreover, I always feel that some things may be a misunderstanding.
, I once said something to Tong Yao: Lin Yi, he has no motive or reason to do such things. How can I believe that things without motive and reason are facts? Do you think so? "
She finally spoke, her voice was very soft, "Maybe you are right. Maybe I am too weak, so I think his power is too scary."
I nodded. I immediately felt that her words were the only fundamental reason that could explain her inner world.
Later, we took a shower separately, and then I went downstairs first. I took a taxi back home.
On this night, I once again felt a long-lost feeling of endless desolation and loneliness. Even under the kind eyes of my mother and the laughter of my children, I still felt this feeling of desolation and loneliness.
It is so difficult to get rid of.
I woke up in the middle of the night, and the sky was full of stars outside the window. I knew that tomorrow would be another sunny day. But I found that my face was full of tears.
I can’t remember what dreams I had, but I believe I must have had a dream about Zhong Feng. Otherwise, why would I wake up in the middle of the night? Why would my face be covered with tears?
Another woman left me. Although she made her last effort, I could only choose to be alone.
When I woke up the next morning, I found that my emotional nerves were numb and indifferent. I knew why, because I could only accept all this, because it was my own choice.
When I took out the phone to make a call, I discovered that the phone had lost power at some point and was turned off.
After replacing the battery, I called my secretary Xiao Xu and asked him to remember to go to Director Fan of the Municipal Affairs Bureau to get the photo. I also told him to get the photo and give it to the driver Xiao Cui.
Suddenly, he remembered that Minister Wu had said that he would report to Secretary Chen in time, and immediately called him.
He smiled immediately after the call was connected, "Mayor Feng, you were very tired last night, weren't you? I called you but found that your phone was turned off."
His words were half-joking. I thought he was making a joke on Zhong Feng and me. After all, I went back to the provincial capital with Zhong Feng. To be honest, I didn’t like such a joke, but I didn’t think it mattered. After all, I
I am single. I smiled and said: "I was a little tired yesterday and went to bed very early after I got home. Who knew that the phone was out of battery? Minister Wu, have you reported to Secretary Chen?"
He said: "I reported it. He said it was a good thing. Road supporting facilities are not a big problem. He said that no matter how poor we are in Shangjiang City, we should still be able to spend the money to invest in a tourist road. His
The opinion is that we should pay for the construction ourselves, and it won’t cost much anyway. He also said that if we want to build a high-quality tourist attraction, we should not be too stingy. In the future, that place will become our business card of Shangjiang City, and it is best not to charge
Tickets and tolls should not be collected. He said that is a short-sighted behavior."
I immediately sighed and said, "Secretary Chen's vision and courage are truly extraordinary and admirable."
He also said with emotion: "Yes, it is a blessing for us in Shangjiang City to have such a leader."
I suddenly felt a little funny: What's wrong with us? Why are we trying to flatter Secretary Chen behind his back? Then I smiled and said, "That's okay. I'll go to the Provincial Cultural Relics Bureau tomorrow."
He smiled and said: "Mayor Feng, thank you for your hard work."
I laughed, "What's so hard about this? This is what I should do."
After the phone call, I still hesitated for a long time because I originally decided to go to Lin Yi's place today.
Yes, I hesitated again. Although I had said those words to Zhong Feng yesterday, and at that time I felt that I had completely figured it out, but at this time, I found myself again
I had the idea of retreating.
I know why this is, because I really can't estimate the consequences of doing so. And the unknown is often scary.
In the final analysis, this is because I have a suspicion about Lin Yi in my heart. I have to admit the fact: Tong Yao and Zhong Feng both affected my judgment of Lin Yi.
Later, when it was past ten o'clock in the morning, I finally picked up the phone and said, "Uncle Lin, I have something to talk to you about..." (To be continued)