He sighed and said, "Yes, yes. Mayor Feng, it would be great if there were more leaders like you."
I smiled slightly at him and said: "Chairman Ma, please don't say that. Secretary Rong has done a lot better than me in many things. You are also the main leader of our city, and everyone knows who you are. Last night
The thing was just an accident.
But Chairman Ma, I think that what happened last night was caused by the people who ate with you, and now that Minister Lei has gone to the province to report the situation, it is very likely that this matter will change.
It's very complicated and troublesome. Chairman Ma, you know that I like to tell the truth... Haha! I have something I want to tell you, but I wonder if you are willing to listen to it?"
He immediately said: "Mayor Feng, I am all ears."
I hurriedly said: "Chairman Ma, please don't say that. You are a senior, and I have to learn many things from you. But in this matter, you are living in this mountain and don't know the true face of Mount Lu. Chairman Ma
, maybe you don’t want to hear what I say, but I think I should still tell you.”
He looked at me and said, "Mayor Feng, thank you. You can speak and I will speak after I listen. I know you have good intentions and I will never blame you."
I immediately said: "Chairman Ma, I think the best way now is to calm down Minister Lei. Think about it, if he continues to report this problem everywhere in the province, things will not be easy to handle next. In fact,
You are right, as a human being, it is often a matter of face. After all, this incident has already happened. I guess what Minister Lei is most angry about right now is that he is so shameless.
You also know that what he said before, including the situation last night, is ultimately because he cares too much about his own face. So... Haha! Chairman Ma, I won’t say much else.
I said something, you should understand what I mean."
He shook his head violently and said: "Mayor Feng, do you want me to come to his door to apologize to him? No! Absolutely not! Why? I am an old comrade, who is he?! You want me to apologize to him?!"
I sighed in my heart, but said: "Chairman Ma, this is just my personal opinion. If you think it's not allowed, I have nothing to say. But I feel that I still have to state again that I have no bias."
What he means is that I am definitely just talking about things based on the facts."
He nodded, "Mayor Feng, thank you. I have no other intention of coming to you today. I just want you to know the truth of the matter. Mayor Feng, I know that you are a very fair person, but what you just suggested
I can't accept my way, absolutely not. Otherwise, my face will make it impossible for me to survive in our Shangjiang City. Mayor Feng, I am not the so-called local snake that some people imagine.
, I grew up here and have been engaged in administrative work for so many years. Now I am still the chairman of the Municipal People's Political Consultative Conference. It is a fact that many people respect me. But I am definitely not the same type of person as the former Mayor Jiang. I once persuaded
He didn't want to do that, and as a result, he was alienated from me. The few people I had dinner with that day were not gangsters in society. They all had their own industries. Although the business was not big, they could still be regarded as ours.
He is a well-known local entrepreneur. They were drunk that day, and they really couldn't stand Lei's arrogance, so they couldn't help but take action. But I definitely didn't instruct them to do that, so
Although I have some responsibility for this matter, I feel that my responsibility is not very big. My brother did not do anything, and the person who did it was not my subordinate, let alone my relative. So I am not afraid."
I nodded, "Chairman Ma, I'm just making suggestions. That's just my personal opinion. Since you said that, I won't say anything else."
He immediately stood up and said: "Mayor Feng, I know you are very busy, so I won't waste your time. Thank you. Please!"
Then he left. I personally escorted him out of my office. We shook hands when he left. He said those three words to me again, "Please!", and then he held my hand.
The hand shook a few times.
I know what he means: he still hopes that I will tell the leaders of the province about his matter. But I will definitely not say more. After all, Secretary Rong is now handling the matter, and Secretary Rong is still there.
You have no intention of discussing this with me.
I sighed in my heart: In fact, the idea I gave him just now is the best way to solve this matter, but it is a pity that he cannot accept it. But this is also understandable, because she is also a very face-conscious person, like this
It is impossible for him to agree to the matter.
It's all about face.
In our country, many people have a face-saving mentality and feel that some things are not suitable for them but they refuse to bow down.
Chinese society was first centered on the family, which determines that a person's honor and disgrace are closely linked to the family. For example, all scholars in the past dynasties, including the number one scholar and the second highest scholar, have to return to their hometowns in fine clothes to worship their ancestors, so that their honor can earn money for the entire family.
face.
Our country has been influenced by Confucian culture for a long time, and Confucianism advocates the principle of interpersonal communication that "harmony is the most important". Therefore, "leaving a little less face" to others has become an important means of maintaining interpersonal harmony. Moreover, Confucianism advocates harmony between friends.
In symbiosis and mutual prosperity, even if a friend is at fault, he should not expose his fault to his face. Behind face is the law of human relations, which is the mutual maintenance and utilization of interpersonal relationships. The most fundamental thing is the exchange and satisfaction of mutual interests.
In Chinese characters in my country, "face" and "face" are connected in some senses, such as "wash face" and "wash face". But in the word "face", there are differences between "face" and "face". Big difference. "Lian" refers to judgment under moral laws, such as calling someone "shameless"; while "face" contains more meaning of power. This reveals the first psychology of good face Motive, that is, the desire to show off power. Many people think that they can do things that others cannot do, which means they have resources and power that others do not have. For example, some people nowadays are always willing to do things for others. When others praise them for their When he is capable, his mentality of showing off is most satisfied.
In addition, low self-esteem can also lead to bad face. Song Zhenzong believed that the "Chanyuan Alliance" had greatly hurt his self-esteem. He felt inferior in front of his opponents, so he made all the "Five Sacred Mountains" Zen in one go.
This is to protect his face. From this, we can see that some people obviously feel inferior in front of others, but they are not willing to let others look down on them, so they can only use the so-called face to comfort themselves.
The same is true for Mr. Lu Xun's Ah Q. He was submissive in front of Mr. Zhao and had a very low self-esteem. However, after he was beaten, he always used "I beat my son" to try to maintain his poor self-esteem.
In psychology, the "herding effect" is also an important factor leading to good face. The so-called "herding effect" is a manifestation of blind psychology. There are many "prestigious schools" now. Your child can go to them, but if my child doesn't go
That seems so shameless. As a result, prestigious schools are like an oasis loved by sheep. As long as one parent enrolls his child, many parents will follow suit. The main reason for these people's good face is that they are afraid that others will look down on them. The safest way is to just follow suit.
Big flow.
"You must save face and suffer the consequences." We have long been aware of the dangers of having too much face. It can be as small as family weddings and funerals, and life is difficult afterwards, or even borrowing debt to survive; as big as a company, such as Hong Kong's Yaohan, in order to provide the company
Putting money on your face, blindly expanding regardless of reality, and finally fell into trouble.
But we cannot completely deny the role of face. After all, it is beneficial to give some face in moderation. Properly giving face to others is a sign of respect for others and is also the lubricant of interpersonal relationships.
Regarding the matter of face, I think the best thing is to be honest without giving up principles; to be polite without restraint; when emphasizing face, you must take into account the consequences; do not feel inferior because you have no face; do not be arrogant just because you have face.
I'm not going to look for Chairman Ma's brother anymore, but I think we should still call the personnel director to understand the specific situation.
Don't you know, after I learned about the situation, I discovered that the real situation was somewhat different from what I had learned. (To be continued)