The dawn moon is near the window, and the pale moonlight is as pure as water. It quietly passes through the window lattice and flows quietly on the windowsill. It also makes my heart feel so lonely and quiet.
Living alone in a secluded room, the empty stone house contained a person who was equally empty in my heart. I simply put on my clothes and went out of the house, counting the stars in the sky. Looking far into the distance, I saw the boundless sky with its broad mind embracing all things, and the bright moon with its pure beauty.
Looking down at all living things from my heart. The deep blue sky is dotted with cold stars, making it even more peaceful and remote.
Creation is magical. It not only gives us precious life, but also gives us a pure and beautiful world. Life, life, time, money, everything is as calm as a dream... In the shadow of the moon and the stars, you can think about nothing. Yihua
One world, one grass, one life. The philosopher said it well, as long as you have a unique mind, you can feel a true meaning, a taste, a charm, and even a philosophy everywhere. The moon is bright, the night is thick, and the heart is quieter...
Back to the stone house, I set out the tea set, prepared hot water, pinched a few buds and put them into the cup. A fragrance suddenly spread in the air, thick and faint, going straight to the mouth, nose, and heart.
Drilling is so refreshing.
lightly
Lifting the tea cup, opening the lid, wisps of white mist hit your face along with the aroma of tea. The soup is green in color and the aroma spreads far and wide. After a brief sip, the fragrance flows from the tip of the tongue to the base of the tongue, slides into the bottom of the heart, and lingers in the heart.
.Suddenly, it feels like being in green mountains, green waters, orchids in empty valleys, fresh and natural.
A ray of starlight, a moment of tranquility; a wisp of fragrance, a moment of tranquility.
The intoxicating fragrance of tea and the intoxicating night. I also began to be intoxicated.
After coming back from Su Hua's cemetery, I stayed here for several nights in a row and didn't go home until midnight. I was in an extremely bad mood these days because I couldn't accept that the vivid woman she once was was also gone.
He left me and this world. I was saddened by the fragility of life and thought of my own life.
I was thinking: Will I leave this world like her one day in the near future?
When I go to work during the day, I rarely speak, and my face is horribly gloomy. People in the department look at me, a usually good-tempered person, inexplicably, but they don’t dare to ask me. This also makes me feel even more isolated and lonely.
.
But I don't want to go home. Although there are children and Chen Yuan at home, I am afraid that I will be even more sad after seeing them. Because my home once had the shadow of Su Hua.
She was once such an arrogant and confident woman, but now she has turned into a pile of loess. Is this what life is like? For the past few days, whenever I am alone in this stone house, I will think about it sadly.
this problem.
Until today, just now, I suddenly understood. When I saw a meteor streaking across the sky in the sky, I immediately understood.
Meteors may once have been as brilliant as the sun, but they also have a time to disappear. The vast universe is so big and far-reaching, it will also disappear. And I, Zhao Menglei, Su Hua, we are all so small, we
The demise may be more humble. Just now, when the fragrance of tea spread in every corner of the stone house, I suddenly understood: Isn’t the meaning of life just here? I felt the fragrance of tea and experienced it.
The pleasant feeling it brings to me, isn’t this proof that I am alive?
Yes, that's it. I feel joy and the vitality of every cell in my body. At least I haven't turned into a pile of loess yet, so I should enjoy life to the fullest and enjoy the best things in this world.
When I looked at the stars in the sky, my feeling immediately changed. I found that they were so beautiful and even more brilliant. Perhaps every star in the sky represents everyone in our world, and they also have
Living life. Maybe they are the incarnations of the dead in our world. Maybe one of them is Su Hua, Zhao Menglei, my mentor. They are looking down at my world and paying attention to my current mood...
…
Turn off the lights, go out of the house, and drive down the mountain.
The child is more than half a year old. He has begun to talk and recognizes me. He gets excited every time he sees me. Now he has no signs of being a premature baby. His size and reactions are similar to those of other children.
The little guy is very good at eating. He will eat up a packet of milk powder in less than a week. Now he has been given complementary food. The little guy looks like a tiger-like head, very cute, and he looks more and more like Chen Yuan.
looks like.
When I came home, he was playing on the sofa, and the nanny was sitting next to him watching TV. When the child saw me, he immediately screamed "yeah" and looked like he was dancing with joy.
I hurriedly ran over and picked him up, then kissed him hard on the cheek, and the child burst into tears.
"Uncle, it seems you haven't shaved for a few days. You may have hurt the baby." The nanny said to me with a smile, and then took the baby from my hand.
I smiled awkwardly. Yes, I have been distracted in recent days, so I even neglected shaving.
But the child was really cute. Soon after he got into the nanny’s arms, he started to giggle again and stretched out his chubby hands towards me.
The nanny smiled and said: "This family relationship is natural, he just likes you."
I said: "This little guy is so good and naughty. Auntie, I'm hungry. Please go get me something to eat. Give me the child."
Then I carried the child to the bedroom. In front of me was Chen Yuan's thin, pale face. I found that her eyes seemed a little sunken, and her appearance seemed to have changed. I suddenly felt that she had become a little strange in my mind.
stand up.
I just stared at her blankly, and after a while I felt the baby on my hand making strange noises. Then I looked at him, and was surprised to find that he was pointing at Chen Yuan on the hospital bed with his chubby little hand.
There was also a sound of "yiyi ya ya" coming out of his mouth.
I thought the child was very cute, so I immediately asked him: "Xiao Mengyuan, do you know she is your mother?"
Immediately, my heart trembled, because I clearly heard the child’s mouth shouting “Mom!”
Although the child's voice was unclear, I could clearly hear that what he really called was "Mom"! You know, he is only a little over half a year old. How could such a young child call him "Mom"?
!
I couldn't help but burst into tears, and immediately went to Chen Yuan on the hospital bed and said, "Yuanyuan, did you hear it? Your son is calling your mother."
However, she remains the same.
I was unwilling to give in and hurriedly shook the child's body, "Son, call me quickly. Why don't you call me mom again? Come on!"
The child burst into tears.
The nanny ran in, and I said to her excitedly: "Auntie, I just heard the child call mommy!"
"I teach him to call like this every day. He is still young, so he probably made that sound accidentally. This child is very smart, and he will probably talk before other children in the future. Uncle, go to eat, I will heat it up for you." Nanny
He said to me with a smile, and then stretched out his hand to me.
I handed the child over to her and walked outside. I was thinking: Is it really a coincidence? But I heard the nanny say behind me: "Miss, you are really miserable. People in the countryside outside say that the child calls first."
Everyone will suffer. Alas!"
I couldn't help feeling miserable: Don't I have a hard life? She was in a coma and didn't know anything. It was me who suffered.
Now, I find that I am becoming more and more indifferent, and even feel less and less guilty towards Chen Yuan. Of course, only I know all this. Of course, I will not give up on her, because I still feel guilty about Chen Yuan in my heart.
She is full of pity.
Even if she was not my wife, but just my patient, I would still do this. As the nanny said, she is really a miserable person. As a result, now I begin to doubt the injustice of God.
In fact, how fair is God to me? Although I now have a lot of money and have relationships with so many women, I am still lonely, and I find that the more women I have, the more conflicted and lonely I will be.
I am an obstetrician and gynecologist, and I should have a full understanding of women. Not only do they often suffer from various female diseases, but they also feel inferior because of their low social status. No matter how rich they are, even if they are in a high position
In fact, I also have low self-esteem inside. I am fully aware of this. Su Hua, who is very competitive, and Lin Yu, who is already the secretary of the municipal party committee, are like this. Therefore, whenever I have a relationship with them, I will immediately feel self-blame and guilt.
, because I know that every time I have sex with them, it will actually hurt them to some extent. Of course, it does not hurt them physically, it can only hurt them psychologically.
Therefore, I think I will want to be alone forever. Maybe the reason why I make money and have sex with women all the time is to overcome my inner loneliness, right? The eunuchs in ancient times liked money, because they could only like money.
, because as a man, after losing his sexual ability, he can only shift his inner preferences to other things, and may even like money to a perverted level. Of course, there is also power. In dynasties where eunuchs were in power,
It's very abnormal. This is the reason.
I don’t want to be an official. In fact, I’m not that crazy about money. I just like beautiful women like other men, and it doesn’t reach the level of perversion. I know this best. So I understand very well: I pursue money.
In fact, being with a woman is just to kill time and overcome the loneliness deep inside. Playing with money and sleeping with a woman is the best way to kill time and prove that you are still alive.
But now I find that I have changed. Just tonight. In my stone house, I felt something: life is short, you must enjoy yourself in time.
I have to say that Su Hua's story stimulated me a lot. I thought: What is the purpose of a person's pursuit? Is it just to become a pile of loess in the end? Thinking of everything Su Hua has experienced, I feel that her life