The sun is shining and the weather is getting warmer,
Zhou Orangutan has really cured the big lobster, which has a rotten meat but a bad mouth. After this incident, the big lobster no longer dares to tease Zhou Orangutan, but for the few of us, it is still a rotten mouth. Damn, because in his subconscious mind, the one and only Zhou Orangutan cannot be compared to anyone. Except Zhou Orangutan, no one has such courage or such great ability.
When I was sleeping comfortably, I found someone pushing me from behind.
I rubbed it hard for a few times, and then thought about continuing to sleep. After a few moments, someone continued to push me hard.
I was a little depressed and said, "Orangutan, don't make trouble for me."
"Liu'er, Liu'er."
"Wait a minute, Brother Xiaoliu, why do you think it was me who caused the trouble?"
I was stunned for a moment, and then I realized that the quarrel that had been going on for a long time was not caused by Orangutan Zhou, but by someone else.
I sat up and stretched, and found that the self-study class had already begun, and there was no teacher in front of me, so I naturally turned my head and found four big eyes, staring at me hard.
I felt a little uncomfortable, so I leaned back, and then looked at Zhou Orangutan and Brother Ze, "What are you two doing?"
Brother Ze pointed at himself, "I pushed you."
"Brother Xiaoliu, you called me." Zhou Orangutan also pointed at himself, "I heard you called me."
I quickly smiled at the orangutan and said, "It's none of your business, orangutan. It's just a misunderstanding, a misunderstanding."
"Oh, let me tell you." Zhou Orangutan looked at the extracurricular books on the table again with a confused look on his face.
I turned my head and stared at Brother Ze, "Brother Ze, what are you doing?"
Brother Ze looked around and said furtively, "Liu'er, I seem to have done something wrong."
I stretched and said, "Tell me, what's wrong."
"I'm embarrassed to say it, and I don't know how to say it."
"Just say it."
Brother Ze looked around again, and also looked at Brother Chen Yangxu who was sleeping next to me, and at Xiao Chao who had been passing notes to Xiaomei. Brother Ze had a tangled expression on his face, "I really don't know what to do." Say it."
I was a little depressed, "Then stop talking, I'm going to bed." After saying that, I turned around and lay down on the table. Just as I was thinking about going to sleep, someone pushed me again.
I raised my head in frustration and looked at Brother Ze, "What do you want to do?"
"Liu'er, Liu'er, you know, I'm a rough guy, really."
"What nonsense, just tell me what you want to do, or don't hinder my sleep, okay? I thank you, I really thank you, I'm depressed."
Brother Ze touched his head and said, "Okay, I'll tell you directly."
"Well, tell me."
"How to sleep with a woman."
I was stunned for a moment, then looked at Brother Ze and laughed, "Oh, Weah." Then Brother Ze covered my mouth, "Liu'er, please keep your voice down, I don't want others to hear."
"Well, don't worry, we can't hear you. Brother Xiao Liu's voice is not loud."
"Go away, you gorilla, are you looking for death?"
Zhou Orangutan raised his head and looked at Brother Ze, "Do you also want me to kill myself and my enemies?"
Brother Ze smiled and said, "If you put me and the big lobster on the same level, just give it a try."
Zhou Orangutan thought about it, then stuck out his tongue and said nothing. Then the big lobster behind Zhou Orangutan said, "Damn it, Ozawa, are you looking for death? How dare you say that to us, Brother Orangutan, and to you?" Brother Shrimp."
Brother Ze turned his head and looked at the big lobster. Just as he was about to speak, I grabbed Brother Ze's wrist and took his wrist away from my mouth. "Okay, okay, to be serious, ignore him for now." "
"Well, okay, you wait." Brother Ze pointed at the big lobster,
"Hey, you number two orangutan, you're trying to scare me. I've been scared since I was a kid."
"Damn it." I stretched out my hand and continued to hold Brother Ze, "You don't want to say anything, I'm going to sleep after you say it, so hurry up."
Brother Ze glared at Big Lobster fiercely. As a result, Big Lobster glared at Brother Ze fiercely, and then made a contemptuous sound,
It made me very angry,
Brother Ze took a deep breath, and then said to me, "Liu'er, seriously, you have to help me."
"Help you, how can I help you?"
"How to sleep with a woman."
I smiled and said, "Tell me who you want to sleep with."
"Of course she's my girlfriend."
"Girlfriend." I looked at Brother Ze in surprise. "When did you become your girlfriend? You have nothing to do to tease me, right?"
Brother Ze looked around, "Please lower your voice, Brother Xiaoliu, I believe you the most. Really, listen to me, Brother Xiaoliu, I know you will definitely have a way."
"Tell me where you got your girlfriend."
Brother Ze smiled happily, "To be honest, I don't know what kind of virtue our old Xue family has accumulated in the past life, but they actually gave me such a good daughter-in-law. I am so happy that I am so happy."
"Okay, tell me where you got your wife."
"We can't talk about this yet. I swore to my wife that I would keep it a secret until she wants to say it."
"Why? I have a partner and I have an underground love affair."
Brother Ze nodded, "My wife has some unspeakable secrets. I also understand her, so I followed her. Anyway, as long as I am happy."
"Oh, then you won't tell me, right?"
Brother Ze looked at me and said, "Liuer, Liuer, Liuge."
I was stunned for a moment, "You changed your name to Sixth Brother."
"Really, you see I'm a rough man. Whenever I ask you for anything, just say yes."
I thought about it, and it is true that Brother Ze is a down-to-earth person, stupid, but very particular.
"Hey, I'm talking to you, right? Liu'er, oh, no, it's Brother Liu."
I looked at Brother Ze, "Then tell me who you got together with, and do you think it's okay?"
Brother Ze shook his head, "You don't know me either, I'm dating online."
"Online dating." I looked at Brother Ze, "You are dating online and we met in person."
Brother Ze thought for a while, "Yeah, we met."
"Everything passed the review."
"Well, yes, but I want to sleep with her."
"Where is that woman from and what is her name?"
"I told you that you don't know me, right? Liu'er, please hurry up and tell me. We already kissed. After we kissed, I was so happy that I didn't fall asleep all night, and I was very excited today. "
"yesterday."
Brother Ze nodded happily, "Well, well, yesterday, just yesterday."
"You guys met yesterday, and that woman came to see you."
Brother Ze smiled, "That's natural, Liu'er, can you get to the point."
I shook my head, "No, I have to figure things out, right? Tell me, what should I do if the baby in your house kisses me?"
"What should I do?" Brother Ze sighed, "I ran away with Erzhuzi at the east end of our village long ago. Damn it, just talking about it makes me depressed."
"That's why you dated this girl online."
Brother Ze nodded, "Well, just trust me. Liu'er, hurry up and think of a way for me to come up with an idea."
I thought about it and then sighed, "I don't know."
"You definitely don't know me. Do you think you know everyone?" Brother Ze looked at me, "Liu'er, after this is done, I will definitely treat you to dinner. Let's go eat whatever you want. You see We have been friends for such a long time, and now I have something to ask of you, shouldn’t you come forward?”
I smiled and said, "Okay, no problem. Just tell me what you want to do."
"Liu'er, seriously, I just want to know how you slept with your sister-in-law in the first place."
I was stunned for a moment, then smiled at Brother Ze, "I didn't go."
"Hey, you're lying to a fool. If you say you didn't have sex, that's the same as saying Zhou Orangutan didn't have sex with Qiao Goulu."
"Ahem." Zhou Orangutan raised his head and looked at Brother Ze, "Can you bring me nothing else?"
Brother Ze looked at Zhou Orangutan angrily and said, "Believe it or not, I will wear out your hairs one by one."
Zhou Orangutan subconsciously touched his beard very cutely, and then said to Brother Ze, "I want to remind you that Brother Xiaoliu never talks about sleeping with his wife with anyone, so there is something wrong with your question. , you still threaten me, I mean well."
Brother Ze glanced at Zhou Orangutan, then thought about it, and continued to ask me, "Okay, Brother Xiaoliu, there is something wrong with the way I asked just now. I just want to know how you can sleep with a woman. You Do you know?"
I looked at Brother Ze and thought for a moment, "This is difficult. It depends on the relationship between the two of you. Whether the woman loves you or not, there must be certain conditions for creation, a certain time and place, and finally it depends on the relationship between the two of you." It depends on you."
Brother Ze touched his head, and then said depressedly, "Can you make it simpler?"
I sighed, "I know it's too complicated for you to understand, so I deliberately made the question very simple, very simple."
"But I still don't understand." Then Brother Ze patted me on the shoulder, "Brother Six, just tell me, why did you take the person down at the beginning? Just tell me, it's okay, and I will follow suit." Just do it your way, and it will be right."
I was stunned for a moment, then looked at this dumbfounded young man and shook my head, "I didn't win it."
"Fuck, Sixth Brother, you're teasing me again"
I spread my hands and said, "I'm telling the truth. My wife and I have an innocent relationship, a pure relationship between a man and a woman."
Brother Ze took a deep breath, calmed down, and said to me, "Okay, Brother Six, tell me how you can sleep with a woman."
I glanced at Brother Ze and thought for a moment, "I haven't tried it either, so I don't know if it works or not."
Brother Ze's eyes lit up, "Okay, okay, you say it, you say it."
I smiled and said, "You and your wife have already kissed, right?"
"Yeah, yeah." Brother Ze nodded, "Of course."
"Didn't you touch me during the kiss?"
"I don't dare, I'm a bit timid."
"Okay, if you want to touch flesh, you must have a thick face. Remember these six words, they are the eternal truth."
Brother Ze looked at me and said, "Just be direct."
"Rainbow luxury bag, or a small hotel, you can figure it out yourself. I won't talk about the rest. As long as two people can sleep together at night, then the rest is all up to you. I won't tell you the place." I’ve told you, I can’t say anything specific, so you can just say yes, after all, people are different, and the rest depends on your performance.”
Brother Ze touched his head, "Liu'er, can you give me a method that you have practiced before? Oh, no, it's a method that you heard someone tell you before."
I turned my head and pointed at Orangutan Zhou, "Ask him."
"That's right, that's right." Zhou Orangutan raised his head again and said with a smile, "Ask me, ask me, I am the full spokesperson of Brother Xiaoliu."
Brother Ze glanced at the orangutan, and then lay down on the table, "Then I will think about it myself. Brother Xiaoliu, you have given me a lot of inspiration. Thank you. I will definitely treat you well after the matter is completed."
[PS: First update]
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