Chapter 1179: Crisis of Confidence (Seeking Monthly Ticket)
After a cup of tea.
Bai Qiannuo followed Ma Qiao to the third floor. Li Qi was the only one on this floor.
Li Qidao: "Maqiao, wait for me downstairs."
"oh."
Ma Qiao glanced at Bai Qiannuo worriedly, then turned and left.
Li Qi looked at Bai Qiannuo. After a while, he stretched out his hand and said, "Sit down."
Bai Qiannuo seemed a little hesitant.
Li Qi smiled bitterly and said, "Have I become so scary that people have to stay seven or eight steps away even to discuss official business?"
Bai Qiannuo Dai frowned slightly, walked over, sat opposite Li Qi, and said, "I wonder what the privy envoy has to say to me?"
"Big deal." Li Qi said seriously.
Bai Qiannuo was stunned. Although she didn't want to, she almost laughed and asked, "What's the big deal?"
Li Qidao: "I found that the contradiction between us has seriously affected official matters. I think we need to talk about it."
Bai Qian promised: "If you want to discuss business with me, I will definitely listen carefully."
Li Qi sighed and said helplessly: "What do you want from me? You have been angry for so long, don't you really understand why I did what I did in the first place? I never wanted to hurt you,
I just want to protect you."
Bai Qiannuo said calmly: "Is this what you wanted to say when you called me here?"
"Yes. If we don't explain this matter clearly today, we won't talk about official matters in the future."
Bai Qiannuo breathed out softly and said: "Okay, let me ask you, have you ever believed in me from the beginning to the end? Can you still be worthy of my trust now?"
Li Qi was stunned and did not answer.
Bai Qiannuo said again: "You said before that I should understand the reason why you did this. Since you are so sure that I will understand your original intention, understand you, and support you, then why didn't you tell me all this in the first place?
Me? If you thought I was just a selfish person at the beginning, then I will not become a person who understands justice now. I will not understand the reasons why you do all this. How do you want me to answer this question?
question?"
Li Qi sighed: "I won't tell you, just because I don't want you to feel embarrassed?"
Bai Qiannuo smiled and shook his head, saying: "This is just an excuse you made for yourself. Do you think I feel very relaxed now? If you can hide it from me for the rest of your life, I won't have any complaints, but
You can't. You also know that you can't. You have long expected that such a day will come. You know that I will be hurt by this, so you asked the emperor to protect our Bai family in advance. Why don't you admit that you have no trust from the beginning to the end?
The reason why you didn't tell me was simply because you were afraid that I would tip off the information and spoil your plan, that's all."
Li Qi was stunned for a moment, feeling his face was hot. He rubbed his face with both hands to cover up his guilt, took a deep breath and said: "I admit. I do lack trust in you in this matter, because
---."
"Because you're afraid of failure."
"Yes, I can't afford to lose."
"But, what does this have to do with whether you trust me or not? Is your trust all about things and not people? You can trust me on a certain thing, but not on a certain thing. This---this is okay
Is it called trust?”
Li Qi was silent again.
Bai Qiannuo's eyes were slightly moist, and she said, "Do you still remember that you personally promised me that you would never lie to me again."
Li Qi hesitated for a moment and said, "I remember."
"But you deceived me so badly that I even had to rely on myself to think and guess. It wasn't until the imperial decree came down that I realized that all this was a trap set by my husband, and I was also in this trap. Prey, even Brother Zheng who is with me in Hangzhou understands the truth of the matter before me."
Bai Qiannuo wiped the tears from her face and said: "What I hate most is not that you did this or that, but your lies one after another. You have never believed me from beginning to end. It can even be said that you have never believed me." Have you ever thought about anyone, including Hong Slave and the others, how much harm your fake death would cause to them? If something unexpected happened to Sister Feng that night, could you still make up for it? You are the only one you have always believed in It's just you. Even if you tell Ma Qiao and Meimei, it's just out of necessity. If you can, you won't tell anyone at all."
Li Qi was silent for a while and said: "I admit that I have reservations about everyone, but do you know how much pressure I was under at that time?"
Bai Qiannuo said very calmly: "Of course I know, so I have always wanted to help you share some of the burden. I have also been trying to prove that I can help you, just like my mother has always helped my father. If not, Who do you think would be willing to leave his husband, his parents, his relatives and sisters and run to Jiangnan alone? Maybe I didn’t say it clearly enough at the time, but the result was not your trust, but your deception again. And hurt, I also said that I don’t care what you do outside, but I hope you won’t lie to me. I won’t say that you are unfaithful, but you can’t even trust your own wife and children, how can you be worthy of others? Do you want to believe it?"
Li Qi frowned and said, "If I told you the whole plan, what would you do?"
Bai Qiannuo said: "This is the answer I have always wanted to tell you, but you didn't give me this chance."
"Then how can you forgive me?"
Bai Qiannuo said: "Why don't you understand? This has nothing to do with forgiveness. You saved the world and you defeated the golden soldiers. I am not qualified to talk about forgiveness. However, I don't want to talk to my husband in the future. , it is too tiring for both parties to have to think about the authenticity of every word he said. Maybe trust is not worth mentioning to you powerful officials in the DPRK, but to me, it is very important. It is very important, especially the trust of your family. I don’t know what you are thinking now, but I am sure that you are still hiding a lot of lies and are ready to tell everyone in the world, including me."
Li Qi's eyelids dropped, not daring to look directly at Bai Qiannuo.
Bai Qiannuo looked at Li Qi's guilty look, with a flash of sadness in his eyes and disappointment on his face. He stood up and said, "If there is nothing else, I will leave now."
Li Qi said nothing.
Bai Qiannuo didn't wait for his answer, turned around and left.
Li Qi never spoke again, seeming to be thinking about something, until Ma Qiao came down from upstairs, and he said to Li Qi: "I--I didn't mean to disturb you. Madam Zhang asked me to ask you, Are you white ladies dining here?"
Li Qi didn't answer but asked: "Maqiao, will you deceive Meimei?"
"Then I would rather commit suicide." Ma Qiao said without hesitation.
"Why?"
"Why should I lie to junior sister?"
"If you have no choice but to do it."
"My junior sister is the most important person to me. How could I be forced into such a situation? Besides, I, Ma Qiao, am a man. I am aboveboard and can tell others everything I want."
"That's it." Li Qi said no more, a bitter smile appeared on the corner of his mouth.
After coming out of the Jinlou, Li Qi was no longer in the mood to take care of business, so he went home directly.
"Sir, you are finally back."
As soon as Li Qi entered the door, he saw Mrs. Chen's anxious look and asked hurriedly: "What happened?"
Aunt Chen said anxiously: "Just an hour ago, Mrs. Feng rushed out like crazy."
"What?"
Li Qi was shocked and said: "What---what is going on?"
Aunt Chen said: "I don't know very well, but Mrs. Yelu has already chased her out."
What a crazy situation! Could it be ---?
Li Qi's face tightened and he immediately said to Ma Qiao: "Ma Qiao, hurry up and send some people to the military camp to find him."
Ma Qiao responded, turned around and went out.
Li Qi asked Mrs. Chen again: "Where is the red slave?"
Aunt Chen said: "Oh, the red lady is still looking at Zhengxi in the room."
Li Qi breathed a sigh of relief and quickly walked to the backyard.
When they came to the backyard, they saw Ji Hongnu standing in front of the door, pacing back and forth, looking forward to it. When he saw Li Qi coming, he hurriedly greeted him and said hurriedly: "Brother, Sister Feng, she---"
Li Qi didn't wait for her to finish speaking and said, "Has she seen today's Song Dynasty Times Magazine?"
Ji Hongnu was stunned for a moment, then said: "You know everything?"
Li Qi hummed and said, "This silly woman is always so emotional. Now that there is chaos outside, she still dares to run out."
Ji Hongnu was so frightened that his face turned pale. He said anxiously: "Isn't Sister Feng very dangerous?"
Li Qi put his arm around her shoulders and comforted her: "It's not dangerous at all. The woman who dares to touch me in this world is not yet born, and those who are born are already dead."
Ji Hongnu breathed a sigh of relief and said, "Brother, why did you say that just now?"
Li Qidao: "I'm afraid that she will be even more sad when she hears those remarks outside."
Ji Hongnu pursed his lips and said, "Those people are so mean to make excuses."
Silly girl, you are too naive. Li Qi nodded and said a few words to cater to Ji Hongnu, which stabilized Ji Hongnu's mood.
The two of them did not go inside the house, but went to the front yard to wait.
After about an hour, Li Qi began to feel unable to sit still. He stood up and prepared to look for her in person. But at this moment, he heard someone outside shouting: "My lord, my lord, Lady Feng is back."
Li Qi was overjoyed and hurriedly walked out, only to see Feng Yinu walking in in despair, mumbling something, while Yelu Guyu followed her.
Li Qi looked distressed, but felt very helpless. He walked forward and said softly: "Yinu, are you okay?"
Feng Yinu was startled for a moment, then slowly raised his head, looked at Li Qi, and cursed through gritted teeth: "It's so abominable, those people are so abominable, how could they say that about my sister? What did my sister do wrong? Those people are so abominable."
How can the blame be placed on my sister? Fortunately, she donated all her money. Are they all blind?"
The more she talked, the more she cried, as if those people were talking about her. He was originally a very emotional woman, and she had no relatives. In her mind, there were only Li Qi and Li Shishi. As you can imagine,
You know how sad she felt when she heard what those people said about Master Li.
It seems that she heard a lot of rumors outside. Li Qi winked at Aunt Chen and asked her to close the door first, then half-hugged Feng Yinu and said, "Yes, yes, they are all bastards, let's go first
Let’s talk after we go in.”
Li Qi helped Feng Yinu come into the house and persuaded him: "What do those nerds know? Don't get along with them. Otherwise, you will lower your status."
Ji Hongnu also persuaded, "Yes, as long as we know what kind of person Sister Li is, we don't have to worry about what others think."
Feng Yinu said: "Now the people in the city are calling my sister a goblin and a beauty. And many people also say they want to arrest my sister. They are so barbaric. I'm afraid my sister will--"
Speaking of this, she became more and more frightened. She grabbed Li Qi's arms tightly with both hands and begged: "Husband, you have the best way. You can definitely wash away this injustice for my sister, right?"
"this---."
Li Qi really wanted to agree to Feng Yinu, but he couldn't agree because the Zhao family wanted to restore their reputation. This was not a debate, it was just a political method.
Feng Yinu saw Li Qi's hesitant look and said, "Husband, do you think so too?"
Li Qi hurriedly said: "Of course not, but I can't come forward in this matter."
"Why?"
Li Qi hesitated for a while and then said: "Think about it, why did Song Dynasty Times publish such an article?"
Feng Yinu was startled and said in shock: "Did you arrange it?"
"This has nothing to do with me." Li Qidao: "This is all arranged by the Hanlin Academy. But why did the Hanlin Academy suddenly do this?"
Feng Yinu was not stupid. He suddenly realized and said: "Is it the emperor?"
Li Qi nodded. If it had been before, he probably wouldn't have said this, but now he felt that Feng Yinu needed to know the truth about the whole matter.
Feng Yinu looked confused and said: "But--but why did the emperor do this?"
Yelu Guxu said calmly: "This is a method commonly used by the royal family. The emperor is always right, only the people around him are wrong." She was born as a princess, so she naturally understood the reason. In fact, she could have told Feng Yi just now
Slave, it's just that she was a little hesitant. Now that Li Qi has spoken, there is no need to worry.
Feng Yinu opened his eyes, and after a moment, he suddenly said: "I understand, I understand. My sister decided to sever ties with me in the first place just to protect me from harm. She--she had already expected that something would happen.
This is the day.”
Maybe she is one of the few people who can understand my plan. Li Qi secretly thought, in fact, when Master Li proposed to leave, he had some vague guesses, and he was very grateful in his heart. If it were another woman, she would definitely try her best.
There was a way to protect Song Huizong's big tree, but Li Shishi didn't do that. She chose to bear it all by herself.
In fact, Li Shishi was a very smart woman, not to mention her poetry and songs. She also had a keen sense of smell even for political matters. Otherwise, she would not have been able to stay with Song Huizong for so long, and she would have been responsible for the six thieves in the court.
He has no hostility towards her, which is very difficult to do.
She knew in her heart that if things really develop as she expected, and it is very likely that a situation like today will occur, then the people around her will definitely be greatly hurt, especially Feng Yinu, because Feng Yinu
Nu is also a prostitute and is married to an important minister like Li Qi. She will definitely be affected. Li Qi will also feel very embarrassed. It is inevitable that his career will be affected. In fact, there are already people here.
When discussing Li Shishi, they brought Feng Yinu along with them, but in view of Li Qi's presence, they only dared to say a few words secretly.
Therefore, she had no choice but to leave, taking all the troubles with her.
Li Qidao: "Since you understand Miss Shishi's painstaking efforts, you should not let her worry about you."
Feng Yinu said: "You---did you guess it a long time ago?"
Li Qi sighed and said nothing, acquiescing.
Feng Yinu said sadly: "Then you will definitely not help my sister clear her grievances."
"It's not that I don't help, it's that I can't help. You have to know that it's not anyone else who arranges all this, but the Emperor. But don't bear grudges against the Emperor. It would be anyone else sitting in his place, no matter who he is.
Anyone would do this, it is just a political need." Apart from telling Feng Yinu the reality, Li Qi could not find any words of comfort.
"I--I understand." Feng Yinu lowered his head, then suddenly raised his head and said: "But--but I'm afraid that my sister will be hurt, and if she hears these words, then she
It will definitely be very sad.”
Li Qi patted her hand and said: "Believe me, I will definitely protect her. I have sent people to check. As for those words, I think since Miss Shishi has already expected it, she will definitely
We have already prepared and will not be affected."
Feng Yinu nodded and said, "Husband, you--you must find my sister."
"Don't worry, I already made arrangements from the beginning."
Feng Yinu thought to herself, since Li Qi had already expected it, there must be preventive and control measures. Then she breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that the situation outside was unstoppable. Now she just hoped that Li Shishi would not be harmed.
Li Qi comforted her a few more words, then sent her to the room and stayed with her until she fell asleep before coming out of the room.
Yelu Gu, who had been sitting in the corridor, wanted to see Li Qi come out, so he stood up and asked softly: "Is she okay?"
Li Qi shook his head and sighed. As long as he didn't find Master Li, Feng Yinu would definitely not be happy and said, "Where is Hong Nu?"
"Zhengxi just woke up, she went over to take a look."
Li Qi hummed, suddenly took Yelu Guyu's hand and sat down, and said seriously: "Guyu, there is something I have always wanted to ask you for help---."
Yelu Guyu said hurriedly: "Do we still need to be so polite between us?"
"No, no, no, you listen to me first. You can reject me, it really doesn't matter."
Yelu Guwan was curious and said, "Then tell me."
Li Qidao: "I want you to help me contact your cousin Yelu Dashi."
Yelu Guyu raised his eyebrows and said, "What's wrong with Dashi?" Although she had put down her hatred towards the Kingdom of Jin, Yelu Dashi was the only child of their Yelu family, so of course she was very nervous.
Li Qi smiled and said: "He is fine yet, but I guess Jin Guo may take action against him."
Yelu Guyu had a look of fear on his face when he heard this.
Li Qidao: "I want you to help me contact Yelu Dashi. Our Song Dynasty wants to cooperate with him."
Yelu Guyu immediately turned from worry to joy and said: "This is a good thing!"
Li Qi hesitated for a moment, and seemed to have made some kind of decision. He said: "I know that you still hope to regain Daliao in your heart. Yelu Dashi also thinks the same, but do you think the current emperor would want to see all this? There is no room for two tigers in one mountain.
, I don’t know how the situation will develop in the future, but---but I don’t want you to feel guilty for the rest of your life because of this letter. Do you understand what I mean? So, you can really reject me.”
Yelu Guyu frowned, feeling very entangled in his heart. He clenched his fists tightly and said after a while, "You don't have to tell me this."
Li Qidao: "I have thought about it before, and I have always done so, but since Yinu fell into the river with me, and you and Hongnu have also been tortured a lot, now Qiniang---
, I don’t know whether what I did at the beginning was right or wrong, but I really don’t want to lie to you anymore, no matter what the reason is, if I lie to you now, you will also know the truth by then, maybe you
You won’t blame me, but you may feel guilty for your whole life, and I will too, and I feel very guilty and regretful now. Maybe Ma Qiao is really much better than me in this regard. He always trusts Meimei very much.
Even better than myself.”
Yelu Guyu asked: "You are looking for me because my surname is Yelu, and I can gain Dashi's trust more than others?"
Li Qi nodded.
"If I don't agree to you, you should still find a way to contact Dashi, because you want to use Dashi to contain the Kingdom of Jin."
Li Qi nodded again.
Yelv Gu wanted to groan for a while, turned his head and said, "I promise you."
Li Qidao: "You really don't have to agree so quickly."
Yelv Guyu smiled slightly and said: "The Great Song Dynasty wanted to use Dashi to contain the Jin Kingdom. I think the Great Song Dynasty also wanted to use the Great Song Dynasty to contain the Jin Kingdom. If he had no such plan, I believe that even if I, my cousin, wrote to him
I believe that he will not agree to it, but I think Dashi needs this ally more than Song Dynasty today."
As she spoke, she suddenly turned her head, looked at Li Qi, and said: "Husband, I promise you, not because you are my husband, but because I think this is a win-win situation, because Da Song and Da Shi share the same
Enemy. No one can know what will happen in the future, but no matter what the outcome, my decision at this moment will definitely not make me regret it, let alone guilt. As for whether Dashi can revive Daliao, it has to be
It depends on his own ability. However, husband, you can tell me the truth and you are not lying to me, I am really very happy."
If I had told Qiniang my plan, would she have said the same thing to me? Li Qi shook his head with a wry smile and said, "Although you didn't say it, I know you are somewhat complaining about me."
Yelv Guyu shook his head and said: "I have never complained to you, I just think Hong Nu and I should be more worthy of your trust than Ma Qiao, no matter what."
Li Qi put his hands behind his back and looked up, his eyes slightly moist, and said: "You are right, from beginning to end, I only believe in myself, because I am too afraid of failure, so afraid that I don't even dare to look at the moon.
Confessing my heart, I hope I can hold everything in my hands without exposing any gaps. Only in this way, I feel the safest, and I succeeded, but I also feel very tired. If I can't even do a few of you,
I believe it, who else can I believe? I have become a loner, so what’s the point of living in this world? I think I understand why Maqiao will always be very happy when facing Meimei, but I will always be very happy when facing you.
But I feel more guilty than happy."
Yelu Guyu gently put his hand on the back of Li Qi's hand, squeezed it gently, and said: "Husband, you are different from Maqiao. You can't stand the cold at high places. What you do is just for the good of all of us. This is understandable.
, we all understand your difficulties."
"This is just an excuse. Wang Fu is such a vicious person, but he never hides anything from Wang Xuanen. At least he can completely trust someone, but I can't do that." Li Qi laughed at himself.
, suddenly held Yelu Guyu's hand and said firmly: "Guyu, sooner or later, one day, we will no longer feel troubled and helpless because of these things, we will only get happiness and happiness, I will do my best
Let that day come soon."
"I trust you."
These four simple words seem particularly different to today's Li Qi.