If you want a cat to catch mice, you can't put a bell on it.
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[Part 1·Returning to hometown in splendor]
"How well am I pretending?"
This sentence popped out from a pile of porcelain bowls and kitchen utensils.
In a hotel where a wedding reception was held in Pingyang County, the spirit was attached to these simple but not simple psychic props. In the summer, he was wrapped in a spacious winter coat. For fear of not being suspicious enough, this god of craftsmen secretly came out to join the battle.
For the king's wedding, he and Aohun Mingde didn't ask for leave.
Sitting across the wine table is David Victor. This is not his first time in China, but his first time in Xueming’s hometown. He has been crossing his legs with his diary resting on his thighs, recording the local customs bit by bit.
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Hearing Ling Weng ask this——
——Victor immediately pointed in the direction of the kitchen.
"Jack is more suspicious than you."
Jack Martin was jumping up and down in the kitchen. This old uncle originally had an evil spirit constitution and wanted to help his brother cook. Mr. Wen Bucai was running around in the kitchen wearing a high hat, chasing those who were contaminated with evil spirits.
The spiritual aura naturally turns into the ingredients and kitchen utensils for the spiritual disaster - Chun Chun is doing a disservice.
Wearing a mask, Ling Weng revealed a pair of flaming eyes from under his felt hat. He came close to Victor and said, "King Explorer, you won't tell the boss about this, will you?"
Teacher Victor's eyes were clear: "What's the matter?"
Ling Weng: "I secretly ran out."
Victor: "Actually, I have never figured it out. You are the God of Craftsmen. You should have participated in many similar cocktail parties in the past Dionysian festivals and various carnival festivals - why do you care so much about my students?
?”
"This is the wedding of the War King. Unlike you, the War King will grow old and die. He may get married once in his life." Ling Weng described it seriously: "And I have worked for so many years! What happened to me enjoying myself?
!”
As he became emotionally aroused, Lingweng's body made strange jingling sounds.
At the opening banquet, the wedding and festival film crew and other helpers felt strange when they looked over. Lingweng immediately sat upright and did not dare to move.
The old fairy whispered to Victor.
"Actually, another point is that the boss and I have not returned to the surface for many, many years. Because of the restrictions of the "Crown Jue Convention", it cannot come back - but I can, I have the gunsmith and 9527
The wedding candy, what a long face it has in front of it!"
Victor: "What a strange winning mentality."
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In [Glorious Path], the lobby manager has just arrived here with the newcomers to prepare for the stone giving ceremony.
When the two of them walked up to the statue made of copper, iron, gold and silver, Manager Marcus' inspiration was sharp and he immediately discovered that the guy in front of him was a fake. The jeweled figure had a demented expression. He touched it lightly with his hand.
The mountains of gold and silver immediately fell to the ground.
"fxck!"
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Ling Weng was making noises, talking to Victor about gemology and personality structure. He also talked about the marriage between Xueming and Xiao Qi.
"I have given lessons to so many people, and I have come up with a few simple rules. King explorer, please write it down, maybe it will be useful in writing a book in the future!"
Victor never refuses anyone who comes and takes notes.
Ling Weng said: "If you like a golden stone like 9527, you should like a colorless stone or a white stone."
Victor: "How can we see it?"
"According to the theory of demand, Bai Qingqing has no shortage of money. She is like a court official. She wants to find artists, priests who can provide the icing on the cake, places to spend the money, and a spiritual sustenance."
Ling Weng then described.
"Jiang Xueming is a colorless stone. His rationality and mechanical quality of life are closer to divinity. This is mysterious and fatally attractive to Bai Qingqing."
Speaking of this, Ling Weng looked at Victor with deep meaning.
"You, like your students, both have red stones, so the CP I drank, and the pair of red and blue - it can't be wrong."
The madness of red stone needs blue stone to soothe it.
The gloominess of blue stone needs red stone to inspire.
This pair is the yin and yang of water and fire that has been unshakable since ancient times, with both positive and negative aspects.
Victor raised his hand and pulled out the bloodhound lady hiding under the table. The good sister, who was in her thirties, immediately sat next to Victor and did not dare to speak.
Ling Weng murmured in a low voice: "Your students are all married... Victor..."
The three musketeers are all old bachelors now, and only Victor still has such a waiter by his side. For a moment, he didn't know what to say, but he was quite helpless, with a feeling of being indebted to others, and looked at Ms. Bloodhound.
However, David Victor is a petty person, and he will still bear the grudge that should be avenged when faced with Ling Weng's strange attack to urge her to marry.
He secretly took a photo and sent it to the anonymous group.
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[Boss: Crooked? Has anyone seen Lingweng? I, a newcomer, am queuing up to receive stones! What's going on?]
[David Victor: Please use your mobile phone to view the flash photos]
[boss:fuck!]
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Bloodhound: "Your student is getting married, I can come and see it, right?"
Victor: "Yes."
Bloodhound raised his glasses and specially moved the chair towards Victor: "Then... I told Shanshan (3301) that if I grab the hydrangea at the wedding, I will talk to Teacher Victor
It’s a showdown, so don’t compete with Auntie for the prize—what do you think?”
Victor said nothing.
The bloodhound cursed: "It's shameless, isn't it? How many women are thirty years old!"
Victor finally said: "The green gold guards all have a long lifespan."
The bloodhound suddenly whispered softly, as if he had lost his confidence: "That can't be... we can't wait forever... it's fucking impossible..."
"I have told the boss more than once that you can find another employer." Victor tilted his head and looked away arrogantly. His dark green eyes were suddenly exposed to the light source, and from the golden hair to the bright place, he
Can look anywhere but into the eyes of a bloodhound.
This chapter is not finished yet, please click on the next page to continue reading the exciting content! Ms. Bloodhound was silent and waited for about ten seconds.
These ten seconds are very short, but very long.
The inner activities are complex and difficult to summarize in one go.
She just wondered why Mr. David was so selfish——
——The green-gold half-wolf can live for more than two hundred years. Perhaps he only loves his readers and no longer cares about his family.
As for "finding another employer", Bloodhound had heard it more than once, but every time David Victor entrusted the boss to handle it, she just felt that if Teacher Victor hadn't refused it personally, she would never give up.
"Allow me to be more verbose." Victor held his head high and said domineeringly: "Ms. Bloodhound, I am an immortal and have seen too many joys and sorrows. When a pet that has been with it day and night for more than ten years becomes far away from its owner, it will
It has become an unforgettable tragedy that can destroy one's sanity and make people cry bitterly - the relationship between a man and a woman would be like heart-cutting torture and bone-corroding poison. This is something I cannot accept. So..."
Victor turned back and looked at Ms. Bloodhound.
Then he saw the waiter standing next to Ling Weng, who was whispering something in a low voice.
"Stop talking nonsense to him! This is China! It's not illegal for you to act like a hooligan!"
Before Victor could figure out the implication of "This is China" -
——The Bloodhound hugged David with a killing attack, and bullied this arrogant immortal Homo sapiens with his blood-granting body, completely piercing the window paper.
Just as the groomsmen walked in, Meteor saw the teacher and his wife huddled together on the floor, and suddenly he held his forehead and couldn't see.
The same is true for Hasband Madison. He saw the "sweet" hug between the king explorer and his partner, and he missed the days of fighting side by side with his eldest sister. He still didn't know that [Malika was Radagon], and his filial piety had completely deteriorated.
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When little Robert saw this scene, he began to miss Martha. The joys and sorrows in the world are all different, and lovesickness will not let anyone go.
At this time, the host of the wedding also came in. Mr. Chen Fugui changed into a smart Tang suit, carried the clothes of the groomsmen, and asked the brothers to take them away according to their own sizes. After the opening banquet, he was ready to go to pick up the bride.
The moment Mr. Chen appeared, everyone focused their attention on another part of the banquet. Wood Plunk hugged a leg of lamb and was chewing it. Suddenly he patted his head and stood up to greet him.
Before Professor Wood could get closer, Mr. Fugui immediately said in disgust: "Wipe your hands clean! Not polite!"
Professor Wood took care of his appearance with a smile, took off his coat, and finally hugged his good brother who looked exactly like him.
On the other side, Victor was beaten by Ms. Bloodhound's hug attack. He just blushed and didn't know how to resist. After a long time——
——He said to Bloodhound: "You are not polite either..."
The bloodhound let go of his sweetheart: "This is the only trick that will work for you! If I reason with the scholar, isn't that exposing my own shortcomings?"
Victor suddenly laughed out loud, because he felt inexplicable happiness, whether it was reason or emotion, body or soul.
Bloodhound: "What are you laughing at! You bastard!"
Victor: "I think you have to catch a plane soon, and you have to go to Shanwei to grab hydrangeas from the bridesmaid group."
Before she finished speaking, Bloodhound finally woke up with a slap on her head. She had gone to the wrong place! She rushed out the door with a quick stride, got into the Volga and was about to drive to the airport without even having time to say goodbye.
Ling Weng laughed loudly: "I'm telling you! The boss will never look the other way! Absolutely not! Even stones will not lie!"
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Mr. Chen Fugui pushed his way to Wood Plunk's side. He happened to push Professor Wood's wife out of the way and sat between the couple. His actions were playful and a little bit wicked.
This pair of brothers with the same appearance but different genes were particularly harmonious at the dinner table. They are both from the Philosopher Foundation, one works in Tianshu and the other works in the railway.
Professor Wood asked: "How is Sanqi (Wood's daughter) doing at your place?"
"The older girl is very energetic. She asks me for pocket money every day, and her work attitude is not good." Chen Fugui was very attentive, picking up food for the professor and his wife, and talking about the family life: "Also, she doesn't like you calling me by this nickname. , it’s better to call her Yaoyao.”
Sima Yao is the daughter of Wood Plunk and his first wife Shao Xiaoxuan. She was raised by Chen Fugui, her adoptive father, because both husband and wife worked in the Underworld Transportation Agency.
Sima Yao's nickname is Sanqi. As Professor Plaque said, this girl has been influenced by Baphomet since she was a child. She has a tail and is a powerful psychic medium. It would be better to stay in Tianshu, so she had to He was entrusted to his rich uncle to take care of him.
Sima Yao has had two fathers since then, one is his biological father Wood Plunk, and the other is his younger father Chen Fugui.
"Don't you have a place for yourself?" On the other side, Wood's wife asked: "Ye Bei has been married for a long time."
Chen Fugui smiled awkwardly: "It's so urgent."
The professor's wife first pinched Chen Fugui's cheeks, and then pinched her husband's. Finally, she was convinced that the two of them were exactly the same. Except for the tattoo on their neck, they looked like they were carved from the same mold.
Wood asked: "When will you change your face again?"
"I don't know." Chen Fugui shook his head: "If you wear the mask for a long time, you can't take it off. If something happens to you one day, I will have to take your place. If something happens to me, you will be the same. You can't escape."
"and..."
Fugui’s pseudonym was Adams Vihar, and his earliest name was Oroz——
——The ability of Soul Power is to change the physical form, including the age and gender of the physical essence. It is a very powerful mimicry ability.
"And I really don't remember."
Mr. Chen squinted his eyes and couldn't laugh or cry.
"I don't remember the earliest time, whether I was a boy or a girl, I don't remember my first appearance, which is good, the sheep (Wood and Fugui's code name at the Philosopher Foundation, called [argali] and [
Sheep], used to distinguish the functions and responsibilities of the two) - it is really great to meet again on such an occasion."
The pleasantries between old friends are still going on——
——The groom had just put on his makeup and came in with the people from the wedding program team.
Xueming is still not used to it. He doesn't know that not only the bride has to dress up properly when getting married, but the groom also has to add eyebrows and hair.
He was wearing a white suit. The wedding process was to go to Shanwei to pick up his bride, then go to HK's Aunt Bumei's house to change clothes, and serve tea with Aunt Bumei, Brother Ye Bei and Uncle Bai Ningguang.
After greeting all the old friends and new partners and asking them to get to know each other, Xueming immediately squeezed into the group of groomsmen, found a seat and started to cook.
Hasben didn't understand: "Teacher, when you went to Shanwei to pick up your bride, why did you go to your aunt's house to serve tea? Don't Chinese weddings always take you back to your husband's house?"
Xueming was stunned for a moment——
——On the contrary, little Robert is sensible and explained to the elder brother Haspen.
"Teacher has no home! Hahahahaha!"
Xueming: "Why are you laughing?"
Little Robert suddenly stopped smiling and immediately changed his words: "Teacher, we are at home in all corners of the world, and we are at home in all corners of the world."
But Xueming started to laugh, and carefully explained to his brothers and apprentices: "This guy is right! Bai Lu and I grew up here. Brother Ye Bei took us in, so we have to start here."
He put his arm around Meteor's shoulders and said to the people sitting in the same seat.
"Take Xiaoqi to Aunt Bumei's house, because Aunt Bumei accepted me and Bai Lu. She is not only the mother of A Xing, but also the mother of me and Bai Lu - I will definitely serve tea to Aunt Bumei and bring the bride
Take her to her house."
"One more thing is." Xueming was very serious and said to the groomsmen: "It takes at least six hours to drive from here to Shanwei. Brothers, I am going back and forth, can the wedding be held?"
In modern society, there are still families that pay attention to rituals. It is a very meaningful journey for the bride to take the high-speed train to pick up her bride and travel across half of China to marry in a foreign country.
Halfway through the opening banquet, the guys in the kitchen finally came out.
Wen Bucai, Jason, and Jack Martin returned to the banquet, along with several of the banquet's kitchen workers. They all looked frightened and embarrassed, as if they had been disturbed by the haunting incident in the kitchen.
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Wen Bucai grabbed Jack's hair and kept complaining: "I don't want to go into the kitchen with you anymore! What the hell! Everything you touch will turn into sperm, right?!"
When the two of them crowded around Victor, they saw Ling Weng's face made of blue and white porcelain.
Jack Martin: "It's not me! This is really not me! It's not my fault!"
Two tables apart, Tangning shouted enthusiastically: "Winston!"
Jack replied with a smile: "Young master! I'm always here!"
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[part2·Shining]
Finally, Ye Bei arrived belatedly. He came with the cashier girl from the milk tea shop and his wife.
As soon as the cashier girl sat down, she started looking for "Brother Xueming". Although she was older than Xueming, they also worked together in a milk tea shop. From freshman to senior year, she almost watched Xueming grow up little by little. Now this "
"Brother" is getting married, so the cashier girl is naturally unconvinced.
But when she glanced at the groom's and groomsmen's table, she was fascinated by the groomsmen's group.
The table was surrounded by handsome guys with strong bodies and three-dimensional features. They were all about 1.81.9 meters tall and wearing crisp suits. They were the red-haired Scottish brother, the blond-haired Welsh brother, and the last one.
The black-haired double-door Ah Xing, with the groom Jiang Xueming sandwiched in the middle, looked ordinary and inconspicuous.
"Oh, just come back. What gifts can you bring..." The girl at the cashier's eyes were filled with love. Her head was buzzing at that time. She was so crazy that she was attacked by this male, and she was about to scream like a chicken.
He walked towards the groomsmen table like zombies.
Thanks to Ye Bei's quick eyesight and quick hands, he grabbed this unfortunate child and asked her to wake up.
After the meal, the groomsmen and brothers should all gather together for the wedding photography before departure.
The photographer said: "Everyone arranges and forms some classic postures. I will take a video of the pre-departure speech! Brothers, please be more energetic!"
The students and seniors present who were familiar with Xueming all had a few lives on their hands. There was also Haspen, who was born in the military. After the camera was in place, the brothers stood around Xueming, and the camera suddenly started.
I was covered in white hair and sweat.
"Oh my god, this is too cruel... Just be gentle, be gentle, and restrain yourself!"
Hasben and Tangning were at a loss. They changed a few positions according to the guidance of the photographer, and started to giggle along with the shooting stars. They finally suppressed the chilling atmosphere.
"Remember me!"
The photographer shouted, and the groomsmen followed suit.
"A red envelope for you! Leave the bride to me! Brothers! Let's go!"
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This is a classic motorcade that the wedding program team has not seen for more than ten years——
——Not to mention Mercedes-Benz and BMW, there are not even entry-level Audis. There are more than 20 Volgas lined up from the Agricultural University.
】
The first car was Xiaoqi and Xueming's car. The relatives and friends found their seats one by one, got on the highway, and headed towards Shanwei.
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From the ancient radio station, a blessing song list sent by the boss was playing, which was a song "t take my eyes off you" - I can't help but look at you.
When the motorcade arrived at Taohe Town, the sun became warm and not as harsh as it was in the morning.
Bai Ningguang was sitting at the street corner, wearing a decent black suit, watching his son-in-law's mighty motorcade arriving in this small town.
Downstairs in the housing unit for senior cadres, Brother William was sitting next to the small shop. The scion of the flame giant was very nervous at this moment. He saw the children running back and forth playing, and felt that his clumsy and huge body was different from the others.
The wise man was out of tune, so he lowered his head, opened the paper, and repeated the congratulations he had prepared long ago.
Due to his body shape, it was inconvenient for Brother William to take a ride, so he came to the bride's hometown in advance to wait.
When it came time to play games, Bai Ningguang introduced Jiang Xueming and several groomsmen. He acted as both a father and a mother. He ran upstairs to greet the girls to start the ceremony, and then ran downstairs to serve tea and water to the groomsmen.
There are not many relatives in the Bai family. Uncle Guang came to Shanwei to work alone and left the clan family long ago. Only his brothers from the police station came to support him.
A small courtyard was temporarily fenced off at the entrance of the unit building. As soon as Xueming entered with his students and brothers, he saw Sister Bai Lu and Sima Yao, as the wedding officiants, leading the three bridesmaids out, all wearing red headscarves.
This level is very simple, it's called choosing a bridesmaid. You have to choose Teacher Sansan from among several bridesmaids.
Everyone laughed when they heard it - how could this trouble Ah Xing? It was just a question.
Bai Lu said nonchalantly: "There are only three chances! If you choose the wrong one, you will be given a red envelope! And there will be punishment!"
Meteor: "What kind of punishment! Let me go!"
Sima Yao: "The punishment is to eat lemons, it won't be a problem for you!~"
The three bridesmaids blocked the entrance to the first floor, asking Meteor to pick out the true identity of Teacher Sansan——
——In addition to 3301, this bridesmaid also has Ms. Bloodhound, who is considered Teacher Sansan’s aunt among the Laojin tribe. The pheromones of the two are very similar, and it is indeed difficult to distinguish them.
The other one is Bai Qingqing's best friend who she knew before the labor camp. She is a "fox friend" among the fox friends. When they were working as newsboys, the two girls were cheating and abducting their good friends.
Bu Liuxing stepped forward and took a closer look. The three bridesmaids were all wearing long, spacious clothes. There was really no difference. They were also of the same height.
He got closer and wanted to smell 3301's perfume - but Sima Yao and Bai Lu stopped him.
"That's rude! That's not allowed!"
Meteor held his breath and said to Bai Lu: "You little girl, why are you still turning your elbows outward? I am helping your brother get through this - I look down on you!"
Bai Lu: "Hahahahahahahaha!"
Meteor's heart is not right. It's a trivial matter to make the wrong choice and hand over a red envelope. What if Shanshan really cares about this matter?
He immediately shouted: "San San! You answer me!"
None of the three bridesmaids spoke or moved.
Meteor then shouted: "Three three zero one! I love you!~I love you!~"
The three bridesmaids still didn't speak.
Meteor immediately said: "It's a scam! My girlfriend can't be so calm!"
He looked left and right, followed the artificial landscape trees in the other courtyard to the flower bed, and finally took his sweetheart out from under the low table in the flower bed.
"Ouch..." 3301 was surprised and happy.
Qiuxing hugged his lover and sent Shanshan back to the bridesmaid team: "You can't trouble me!~"
Sima Yao surrendered and said, "Awesome! You are not as heartless as the intelligence says!"
Bai Lu still blocked the door: "Where's the red envelope! Where's the red envelope!"
Xueming immediately went forward and asked her sister to exchange the red envelope for the key to the iron gate on the first floor.
At the second level, there were eighteen glasses of wine placed on the stairs——
——Each glass contains two hundred milliliters, full of strong liquor.
Robert Downing's eyes lit up: "I'll do it, I'll do it!"
He lowered his head step by step, picked up the wine glass and drank it all in one gulp. It was like drinking liquor for the first time. First his eyes narrowed, and then he immediately stuck out his tongue due to the spicy taste. Finally he tasted the wine and started drinking.
Sima Yao's eyes widened when he saw this foreign devil drinking white wine as easily as he drank boiled water: "What's going on with this guy? Brother Groom?"
Jiang Xueming: "This student of mine... he had a relationship experience before... and then he couldn't live without alcohol..."
Sima Yao rolled her eyes: "Okay, don't explain, I understand."
When we arrived at the main entrance, Uncle Bai Ningguang's small house did not allow any extra space for other games, and no one was arranged to block the door. If these strong men really wanted to kick in the door, the door of the Crazy Butterfly Holy Cult would not be difficult enough, let alone
This is a residential building.
Sima Yao said: "The last little game is to shoot darts, hit the light switch from a distance of about ten meters, and turn on the light switch in the bride's room."
With that said, a box of small darts was delivered to Xueming's hand.
Xueming took one of them and observed it carefully. It was really hard to throw away——
——It has counterweights on its tail feathers, which are made of lead. Throwing them out requires a very particular technique. You have to hit the target with a spin like a throwing knife, otherwise it will tilt its head. The light switches in Uncle Ning Guang’s house are all thumb-sized.
Buttons are a bit difficult.
Sima Yao's eyes lit up, she raised her hands and said, "What? Is it difficult for you?"
Xueming didn't say anything, just smiled.
He picked up a handful of darts and threw them out, but most of them fell to the ground and hit nothing.
Sima Yao immediately said: "Hey! Red envelope, red envelope! Thank you, brother groom! Happy wedding!"
Xueming immediately took out a small red envelope from the wedding candy plate and gave it to the host, and stuffed a few more for her sister.
Meteor's expression was ferocious: "Wow! Brother Ming! You're giving me sub-questions! It's too obvious!"
Immediately afterwards, Xueming continued to throw darts, but he still couldn't hit the target, so he continued to send red envelopes to the children in the neighborhood, to Sima Yao and his sister, and to the three bridesmaids.
When the darts on the plate are all empty, there is not a single one left.
There was hot sweat on Xueming's forehead——
——Hearing the bride yelling and cursing in the house.
"You can't even hit this?! What kind of plane are you planning? How long do you want me to wait!?"
Husband didn't understand this bit of human sophistication, so he called [Queen of Sparks] and helped the teacher light the lamp. After all, if you want a cat to catch mice, you can't tie extra bells to it.
As soon as the light came on, Xiao Qi was seen dashing out wearing a phoenix robe and a haze crown. She picked up Xueming and brought her to her father, where she offered him a cup of tea.
Brother Ming was dumbfounded by that battle——
——Bai Qingqing said: "I built all my muscles just to pick you up!"