What are your memories of the New Year? For me, the memories of the New Year are nothing more than Three Points, Dumplings, Crowds, and Journey to the West.
I don’t need to explain much about dumplings. They are something we are tired of eating. In fact, I used to be a very picky person, but after several years of wandering outside, due to irregular eating habits, I basically couldn’t eat anything when I returned home.
I want to eat everything I see. Now think about the so-called picky eclipse, it is really a result of good life. I am hungry and anxious, but I don’t want to eat anything I see?
There are indeed many people in my family during the Chinese New Year, more than ten people. Because of my grandmother's relationship, as mentioned before, she has six children, and my father is the youngest. These six children have already blossomed, and some are also
Grandpa, when the Chinese New Year came, we all got together, and three tables were set up for the New Year’s Eve dinner. After the meal, my uncle and the others set up the mahjong table and started playing mahjong, while my eldest brother and the others also set up a card game.
Start fighting against the royal family.
After all this time, I was the only one who had nothing to do, so I had to watch TV. When I mentioned TV, I felt a little sick. No matter which station you played, it was all "Wukong!" and "Big Brother".
Senior brother!" "Stay~~ monster!"
It’s like a Spring Festival gala that has been played over and over again for more than ten years. It makes me so entangled in watching it. I remember watching this for as long as I can remember. At that time, I was so happy when the New Year came that I could watch it for a whole day just by grabbing a handful of melon seeds.
, I yearn endlessly for the magical power of my senior brother. But now I feel a little helpless watching it. A classic is a classic, and it can't be broadcast on more than 20 channels.
With a cigarette in my mouth, I watched all the monsters without backstage being knocked down, and those with backstage being picked up to the sky. I thought to myself, what kind of TV show is this? In this harmonious society, how can you still do it?
Not to mention, according to my observation, there are really two criminals with no background who were not killed by the senior brother. One is the black bear monster with a split hood, and the other is the red boy with his vagina exposed.
These two guys had good lives, but they were taken away by Guanyin Bodhisattva to work as coolies. After labor reform, one with a strong physique became a guard, and the other with exposed vagina became a secretary. You have to know, the great compassionate Bodhisattva.
The Holy Infant King eats no less people than those monsters who only want to eat Yu Di's brother. Is it because he has a petite and cute appearance that he can win your favor?
Those ugly-looking monsters could only end up throwing themselves on the street. I was so depressed that I simply stopped watching and looked to see if there were any other programs to watch. Just when I wanted to change the channel, I stopped.
I downloaded it because I saw that the plot of this episode is exactly the one in which the senior brother had just attained enlightenment and was seduced by two impermanent beings without eyes.
Seeing the eldest brother making trouble in the underworld, kicking the judge and beating Wuchang, I felt relieved. Damn it, how tough would it be if I had the eldest brother? Why should I be afraid of Xie Bian? What kind of escaped female ghost should I look for?
?A long time ago, a fierce man went up to the sky to woo Chang'e.
While feeling sad in my heart, I couldn't help but feel worried. You know, I only have one more year left in this year. December of the year after next will be the end of the two-year period with Lao Xie. Time is really short.
Fighting chaos, how to find the female ghost who is running for her life?
The sad thing is that I still have no clue at all. When I went home, I told my dad about the current situation of the Liu family, and the elders decided to go and have a look after the New Year.
Alas, "Sanqingshu", "Sanqingshu". Everything started from this book. When I think about it, I get annoyed. How good would it be if I studied "Sanqingshuan"?
I sent a text message to Lao Yi and asked him what he was doing. After a while, Lao Yi responded to me and told me that he was still studying his new invention.
I was thinking to myself, what a bullshit new invention. Last time I said it would be successful right away, but it still wasn’t completed, which made us almost break up. But then I thought about it, I can’t blame him, after all, the magic is really amazing
It's too profound. In fact, Lao Yi is already considered a master at this level, but he is just an idiot master.
I don’t know how I got through this day. Anyway, I just had nothing to do. In the evening, the ladies cooked the meal, and we started to eat and drink. This is the most practical time of the year.
I have a sister and the rest are brothers. They are the children of my uncle’s family. Now they are all married and have children. There are all couples at this table. I am the only one who is dumb. I feel a little bit.
feel bad.
My second brother joked with me and said, "Why didn't you bring back a wife?"
I smiled bitterly and said nothing.
Forget about mentioning this matter. I burst into tears when I mention it. I think of the women I have met over the years. They are either famous or have mistresses. The only two I have ever been with have gone their separate ways. They have five shortcomings and three shortcomings.
, I’ll go fuck him.
As a result, the wine was not very good. After dinner, they continued to play poker, and those who should play mahjong played mahjong. My older ladies were making dumplings for dinner while watching the Spring Festival Gala.
Looking at this innocent gala, I was angry. It was too harmonious. I was a little bit doubtful about how those crosstalks could be done. Who could make people laugh like this? They were not as interesting as the dirty jokes usually told at the wine table.
Well, they are all laudatory things. We have heard enough of them for so many years, but they have been talking about them for so many years but they are still spitting out stars.
Originally this thing came from the folk, but you have to make it so elegant. Although art comes from life but is higher than life, but you have been separated from life, how can there be any art? This is the same as the annual report of the meeting
What's the difference? Don't they know that being separated from the masses is basically asking for death?
Maybe it’s because we little people like us haven’t advanced in our thinking and can’t see such profound art? As Teacher Guo said, let’s just watch cross talk instead of art.
Then I thought, no, since people can attend the Spring Festival Gala, they must have their own reasons. As the saying goes, there is no smile on the mouth but a smile in the heart. It seems that this is the highest state of cross talk.
Also, if the cross talk is not funny, it is really funny.
It's almost twelve o'clock, and everyone's mobile phones have received more or less New Year's greeting text messages, the same kind of polite words. I also received one, from Zhang Yaxin. It seems that this little girl is not angry with me.
This is good. I just put down my phone and I received another one. I picked it up and looked at it. It was a number I didn't recognize. It was just one sentence.
"I wish you all the best in the new year and get out of the gloom as soon as possible."
Holy shit, who is this? He knows me so well and knows that I am worried now, so I replied "Happy New Year, who are you?"
But I waited for ten minutes and there was no reply. I thought to myself who could this be? Could it be some girl who has been attracted to me for a long time?
Just when I was wondering who the person who sent me this text message was, I suddenly felt a wave of cold air, which made me shiver unconsciously. After years of training, I became alert almost like a conditioned reflex.
Because I feel that this is not ordinary air-conditioning, but a very negative air.
His uncle, no, right? It's Chinese New Year. How dare you come out today, let alone enter someone else's house. The words "Fu" on the door and the window grilles are all in vain?
You must know that those are all things that avoid evil spirits!
Thinking of this, I couldn't help but get nervous. His uncle, what's so powerful? No, it's the Chinese New Year. It would be unlucky if something happened. Besides, I have so many family members now. It's not good either.
What can I do if I use my fists and kicks?
Fortunately, no matter what is coming to my house now, it is almost twelve o'clock now. As soon as Zhao Benshan's skit is finished, my house will set off firecrackers and eat dumplings. When the time comes, a thousand blasts of "The Earth is Red" will be played, who cares?
All monsters and monsters have to be driven away, as long as nothing goes wrong during this period.
Just when I was on guard, I heard the sound of a child crying. It was my little nephew who was not yet one year old. My second sister-in-law was holding him. Seeing that the child was crying for no reason, she said strangely: "That's strange.
"Didn't you just finish feeding him? Did he pee?"
No, that's definitely not the case. I suddenly remembered what Uncle Jiu told me, that is, when a person is born, all his eyes are open.
As the saying goes: "I have just passed the road of reincarnation, and I look back at the road to death."
This is exactly what describes a newborn child, who can see the so-called dirty things, because the child's eyes at this time are clean and have not been affected by anything. It is said that this is what everyone has experienced. But most people
But they have all been forgotten. When I was five or six years old, because I started to eat whole grains and the fire became more and more strong, all the innate dark paths were slowly closed. From then on, I could no longer see those filth.
If you want to open the way to the underworld again, you must resort to certain methods.
I thought about it, my little nephew is not yet one year old, and his eyes have not been closed yet, so he must have seen something that made him cry.
This is not okay! Damn it, this is too bullying! No matter who you are, you have no ability to scare children! This moment made me angry, and I took out a piece of paper from the drawer
, then walked quietly to the yard, cut his finger and drew a 'Ding Youwen public road sign'. I thought to myself, let's see what you are first! If it doesn't work, I will fire a cannon right now and kill you.
What an evil beast.
After I opened my eyes with the 'Ding Youwen Open Road Talisman', I pretended that nothing was wrong and walked into the house. When I got to the back of the house, I took a look. Even though I was prepared, I still...
Once you get it.
My second sister-in-law was sitting on the sofa coaxing the child, but my little nephew was crying more and more. I finally figured out why. I saw a hunchbacked old lady in a robe squatting on the ground, smiling and shaking her hands.
Tickling the soles of my little nephew's feet.
This old lady looks so familiar to me. She has a sharp mouth and monkey cheeks, and is dressed like a landlady. Who else could she be if she wasn't Mrs. Huang who almost killed me back then?