My family used to be a prominent family in the county.
When I was five years old, my father served as the Taishi Ling of the dynasty, recording historical events for the dynasty and in charge of astronomical calendars, sacrifices and other rituals.
The reason why I remember it so clearly is because that year my family had a whole pig feast and twenty pigs were killed. The feast was spectacular and I ate deliciously.
Because pork is very expensive, twenty pigs are not always slaughtered to prepare a banquet.
I have two good friends who grew up together.
A boy named Wei Fengtian.
A girl named Suman.
The three of us are very close friends from our parents’ generation.
We have become very good friends with each other because of our relationship with our parents.
Wei Fengtian is the oldest, so Suman and I call him Brother Wei.
Brother Wei has been smarter than me since he was little, and he can do the best in everything.
Brother Wei showed a mature and calm demeanor when he was a child. Even my father often praised him and said that he would definitely become a great person in the future.
When I was six years old.
Enrollment at Xiangshan Academy in neighboring countries.
Our father asked all three of us to take the exam.
Although I was a little worse than Brother Wei, I still passed the academy's selection and became a student in one of the three major Confucian holy places on this earth.
To my surprise.
Unexpectedly, Suman could also pass the exam.
I like this girl.
She had been very beautiful since she was a child.
Brother Wei also likes her.
But I can feel that Suman prefers to play with me.
Maybe I thought that Brother Wei always behaved like an adult when he was a child, so we could only regard him as the eldest brother, but I can understand Suman better.
If I follow the normal trajectory, I can marry her when I grow up and make her my wife.
Life is always full of all kinds of misfortunes.
This is something I have understood since I was seven years old.
that year.
When my father performed a divination for an important sacrifice held by the emperor, the divination gave a bad result.
No emperor likes to see this kind of thing, especially an emperor who loves great achievements and is arbitrary.
My father was imprisoned.
The Chen family was also implicated.
Originally, I should have been sold as an official slave as the son of a guilty minister.
In the end, because I was a college student, I was pardoned, but the rest of my family was not so lucky, and they were all sent to the army.
On the day my father was beheaded, Wei Fengtian and Su Man wanted to come and comfort me.
I hid on purpose.
Because I didn't want them to see what I looked like that day.
On the day when my uncle and the others were assigned, my uncle told me that I should study hard in the academy so that the family name can be rectified in the future.
I know that Xiangshan Academy has this ability, because Confucianism is the only one among the three religions that can interfere in the political affairs of the dynasty.
After something happened at home, when I returned to college, my classmates' attitudes towards me changed completely.
As usual, when I went to some of my former friendly classmates to ask questions about scriptures and meanings, they began to reject me and alienate me.
My family must not fall behind, I am no longer in the same class as them.
From that time on, my mentality changed a lot, and I understood a truth:
If you don't want to be rejected, don't ask for help.
From then on, I never bothered others with things I could do myself.
Even if I don't understand something, I would rather spend more time thinking about it myself rather than asking others.
If I can't do something the first time, I can do it a few more times. Fortunately, I'm not stupid. If I do it a few more times, I will always succeed.
Although this is much slower than others, I won't be hurt.
Because of family reasons, I need to learn to protect myself.
When I can do everything by myself, no one will reject me.
Suman asked me why I didn't go to her later.
This is also the reason.
I still like her, always have.
But at that time, my family was in ruins, I had no money, no talent, and no one to rely on. The only thing I had left at that time was my little self-esteem.
We were once childhood sweethearts, but now our status is very different.
How could I possibly find her again.
At that time, I could no longer give her the joke of that year.
Chen Yujing wants to marry Su Man.
This promise made as a joke in childhood became so unattainable in the end.
But I understand.
As long as I work hard in the academy, win the first place, and stand out on my own despite having nothing, I can still rely on my own ability to marry her openly in the future.
So I made up my mind to be the most outstanding disciple in the academy.
What makes me secretly grateful is that Suman is still Suman.
She has always been the girl worthy of my love and affection.
During the few years I studied in the academy, although other famous students were unwilling to have contact with me anymore because of my father's loss of power in the court.
Only she still treats me as always.
Finally, after ten years of unremitting study in the academy, I read through some of the principles of pilgrimage in the articles of sages, and thus opened a door to the heavens.
I started to top the college exams.
When I was twenty years old, during the college entrance examination, my article was recognized by eighteen gentlemen in the college, and I came out on top. Even Brother Wei was beaten by me.
That time Suman came to celebrate me, I was very happy, and finally felt that I could enjoy the time with her confidently.
But I also felt that Brother Wei was very unhappy that time.
In the past ten years, he has always been the first. This was the first time that he came to second place, but he was pushed out by me, a brother who shares the same brotherhood.
Later, he treated me as more than a brother, with more hostility than a rival.
I didn't mind, I even understood.
Because I treat him the same way.
In the following years, the first and second place in the academy examinations would alternate between me and him.
It seems that they are deliberately targeting each other and competing with each other.
The two of us studied the classics and principles, and eventually they became two completely contradictory classics.
I have seen from the ancient teachings that "human nature is inherently good, and everyone has a heart of compassion. If you keep cultivating yourself, you can become a gentleman."
This is the orthodox teaching that Confucianism has believed in for thousands of years.
But Brother Wei took a different approach and advocated that "human nature is inherently evil. Innate happiness and anger are natural emotions. It is useless to be a gentleman and a villain. Only by imposing moral and criminal laws can we discipline people and become a gentleman."
Our two different ideological views even divided the academy into two factions at that time.
Gradually, the news that there were two outstanding successors in Xiangshan Academy's generation began to spread outside the academy.
Some people call Brother Wei and I the two beauties of the academy.
The two of us also understand that the next generation of academy master will be chosen between the two of us.
Now I have been teaching the people here in Dashe Township for a year. In a few days, the results of this year's test will appear.
And the time I've been waiting for for so many years is finally here.
Became the head of one of the three holy places of Confucianism and took charge of the Southern Confucianism Sect.
I can make Suman the happiest woman in the world.
…
today.
Suman came to see me.
She didn't say anything, she just came to see me.
But I won’t ask her before I become the director of the hospital.
I know Brother Wei also likes her.
I'm not sure if she would have chosen me in advance like she did when I was a child if I had asked her before I became a member of the hospital.
I've understood that truth since I was a child.
Don't ask for something you may not get until you are confident enough.
When I have certain preparations, I will get whatever I want.
but.
I was wrong.
turn out to be.
In this matter of feelings, this principle is wrong.
After Suman left, a young man named Lu Qingping came to find me.
He said that after Suman leaves here, she is going to marry Brother Wei. From now on...she will be my sister-in-law.
…
this day.
Chen Yujing, who had never drank alcohol since childhood, got drunk.
…
Outside the hospital.
Lu Qingping, Meng Hanchan and others looked at it and sighed.
You always have to wait until you are fully prepared before you muster the courage to act. Such a character is bound to lose too much.
Chen Yujing was too confident and thought Suman would definitely wait for him.
But in the world of love, no one will always wait for the other person.
"A poor man who is proud, self-respecting, but extremely inferior."
Meng Hanchan said quietly: "You said if Chen Yujing tries to keep the woman in green now, will she look back?"
When Lu Qingping heard this question, she thought of what the woman said before she left.
She wanted him to regret it.
What do you regret?
He regretted why he couldn't bow his head and give up his ridiculous dignity for her.
You never said anything at all, why do you want me to keep waiting for you?