Chapter 90: Second Lieutenant Buwanaba's Hesitation
When Second Lieutenant Buwanaba left the military council on the pretext of going to the bathroom, it was already completely dark.
Looking at the twinkling stars in the sky, he suddenly felt the urge to cry.
I don't feel sad or have any sad feelings.
It's not right to say that I was moved or emotional.
He couldn't explain the specific reason. Maybe it was the so-called sudden sensibility.
He is just an ordinary person.
Born into a noble family in Corsica.
He is said to be a noble, but in this era, there are so many nobles in France that there is really nothing to be proud of.
Moreover, to be honest, his father, like most nobles, was worse than ordinary people except for his noble title and pride. That excessive pride made it difficult for him to see clearly the flattering words of others. In his father's later years
At that time, under the whispers of those evil people who spoke the nicest words with the most malicious intentions, he almost lost all his family's property. The situation in the family at that time was not optimistic.
Therefore, he only has the name of a noble, but in fact he is inferior to ordinary civilians. At least ordinary civilians will not buy meaningless luxuries just to show off.
He rubbed his nose with his left hand. The night wind made his nose red, and a cold touch came from his dominant left hand. The hot breath exhaled from the nasal cavity warmed the skin to a certain extent, but the dull back of his hand could not feel it.
To the warmth.
After that, he left his hometown to join the military academy and graduated early as an artillery second lieutenant. This was also thanks to his father, who was unable to afford the tuition and had to graduate early at the age of sixteen.
Then, there is the story that everyone knows. He joined the artillery regiment to serve, and then one day Paris suddenly turned into a magical land. The sea of flying dragons was not created in a day. It was a long process.
How long did this process last? Maybe two years, maybe three years. To be honest, Second Lieutenant Buwanaba felt that it was really a miracle that he was still alive.
Fortunately, he had a spiritual support during this most difficult time.
Robespierre.
In terms of ability, he is not a great person.
However, I have to say that his proud posture had an unexpected persuasiveness. At that time, everyone believed that this confident man with a mustache could set off a wave of resistance against the evil dragon in Lyon.
After that, that's it.
Looking back now, my life is really just drifting with the tide.
What did you want to express at the military council meeting before?
In fact, he doesn’t quite understand himself. In fact, that’s it. What many people say is that the person who knows himself best is himself? Wrong! The person who knows himself least is himself...
Ignorantly recalling the shameful speech on the side, he suddenly realized...
(I...could it be possible that I am jealous?)
Yes, jealousy.
Obviously, like them, I have a human appearance.
However, they are so much better than me and are invincible brave men.
Very envious.
I really want to be one of those heroes.
I want to be such an outstanding person and want to be relied on by others. I am envious! I am so envious! I am jealous! I want to be such a person too!
When I cut into the core of my speech just now, in fact, I just hope to go with them. I don’t want them to be the only ones to steal the show...
He sighed loudly and fell on the turf.
With Joan of Arc's character, she naturally chose a monastery to hold a military meeting. There would definitely be such natural scenery in the monastery.
There was a soft feeling under his head. He looked at the sky and sighed helplessly.
"Well, they say that if you sigh all the time, you won't be happy."
Suddenly, a male voice came over, and the startled Second Lieutenant Buwanaba turned his head.
It's like stars falling to the ground.
Her dazzling eyes responded to his gaze, with a kind smile on her face and black hair.
He had met this man several times.
It seems to be an archer named Arash.
He did not participate in the military council. It seemed that he did not know much about military strategy and wanted to take advantage of the time when everyone was discussing to come out and be lazy. Under the banner of warning, he sneaked out openly.
They were obviously using bows and arrows that were extremely outdated, but the arrows they fired were more powerful than cannons.
When you see a hero like him, you really won’t even feel a sense of confrontation. The gap is too far.
Human beings will not try to compete with the sun in terms of brightness and heat, nor will they try to compare with the earth to see who is bigger. Because that has gone beyond the scope of comparison.
"What's wrong? Is there anything to worry about? Young man."
Arash seemed like a confessor who was good at listening. Probably because in the monastery, Second Lieutenant Buwanaba always had this illusion.
By some strange coincidence, Second Lieutenant Buwanaba sorted out his feelings and poured them out to Arash like beans from a bamboo tube.
"We are not that good either."
After hearing this, Arash smiled calmly.
"What you see is only our glamorous side. What kind of training we have received and how much suffering we have suffered, you can't see. The so-called heroes will not let you see this side. Because, indeed
It’s very embarrassing. Believe it or not, when I was eight or nine years old, I didn’t really like bows and arrows.”
"real?!"
"Really. You are an artillery second lieutenant. Is it possible that you liked cannons very much when you were a child?"
When asked by him, Second Lieutenant Buwanaba recalled... It's ridiculous to say it. When he was young, he did dream of becoming a knight on a white horse, traveling around the world, holding a metal lance, punishing rape and eliminating evil.
Indeed, when he was a child, he also thought that artillery was not that great. Only fighting with real swords and guns was the way for men to fight. Flying props are not cool enough!
"The point is, to become a hero, you have to put in countless efforts. There is an old saying in the East, one minute on stage, ten years of hard work off stage."
"As long as I work hard...will I become a hero like you one day?"
Lieutenant Buwanaba asked blankly.
"Hmm... It's a bit difficult. After all, we are not [living creatures], but we respond to the summons as the hero's side after death."
"Die...?"
Second Lieutenant Buwanaba asked in a daze.
"Well, it might be a bit difficult to understand when I tell you this. Sorry, just pretend I didn't say it! Haha, after all, brother Arash, I'm only good at listening, resolving knots, etc. I'm not good at that.
"
Arash laughed and walked back to the military council.
How long did it take? In short, the lights in the monastery went out. Then the light of the oil lamp began to flow from the door to the resting room.
It should be the end of the military council.
Sure enough, there is no problem whether you have yourself or not.
Nothing will change.
I am like a speck of dust.
He thought this with some inferiority complex.
"Good evening, Second Lieutenant Buwanaba. You look a little confused."
Just when he was deep in self-loathing and unable to extricate himself, suddenly, Paracelsus, the French caster, came to him with a smile.
"If you are confused in life, do you want to try talking to me? If you want to catch up with those [heroes], just worrying is not enough."