Why do people want to have a blind date? (Blind date small single chapter, you can skip it, but plea
"Your grandma and your uncle are coming over in a while to clean up your house."
At 1:30 in the afternoon, I was sitting in front of the computer staring at the monitor and suddenly heard the bad news.
I sighed in my heart, knowing that I would never be able to escape this disaster.
In fact, when my grandma called me to lecture me last night, I knew it would happen sooner or later, but I didn't expect it to happen so soon.
Yes, it’s a blind date again.
Why do humans want to date?
Just to continue the family line?
Actually I can understand what the elders think.
My cousin got married years ago.
My cousin, who is three years younger than me, got married early last year.
A few days ago, his child was born.
She is a little princess (I have posted photos of me holding my little niece in the group).
In fact, when the whole family went to visit that day, I had a bad premonition.
As I guessed, after arriving there and seeing my cousin's family of three, I quickly became the target of criticism from the whole family.
27 years old.
The eldest son and eldest grandson.
single.
Any one of these three conditions is very difficult.
And I have all three.
I escaped from the criticism that day on the pretext of coding.
Unexpectedly, the elders came directly to my house today.
In fact, I have been through many battles when it comes to blind dates.
As early as 2016, I changed from resistance to compromise.
That was also the beginning of my journey of dating.
It has been four years today.
How many kisses have you had in the past four years?
Probably close to thirty times (nearly half of the blind date partners are already married, and several of them already have children).
But this is the first time that my elders and I will go to each other's home and go on a blind date in front of all the parents.
Maybe they were really anxious.
After changing my clothes, I followed them to the other party's house.
Then the two families went out to have a meal together.
At the dinner table, the two families began to introduce each other's "products" to each other.
I am 27 years old, 17cm tall and 62.5kg in weight. I don’t drink, but I smoke (although I have started to quit).
I am an unemployed vagrant (full-time author) with an average income. I own a small house of 70 square meters and am saving money for decoration.
The other party is 27 years old, 15cm tall and 51kg in weight. He does not have any bad habits.
Primary school teacher, average income, owning a car.
Round face, short hair.
The smile is very attractive.
But she is not black, long and straight, nor does she have long legs.
After the product display and promotion is completed, it is natural to start direct communication.
The girl was very introverted. She basically kept her head down and smiled while listening to the chats of her parents without speaking.
I was fiddling with my chopsticks in boredom, listening to the parents bragging to each other without any nourishment, and my heart was completely unmoved.
I can tell that she doesn't have any feelings for me.
Of course I am the same.
Since no one feels it, why not just go their separate ways?
But it can't.
Understand what’s inside?
There is no communication at all, and we have never even made eye contact. How can we understand each other?
The two of us are like products on display in a showcase, being criticized and promoted hard.
The voices of parents pretending to be happy to communicate gradually became blurry and noisy in my ears, and I could no longer hear clearly what they were saying.
My thoughts began to wander, and I gradually began to think about life.
Why have I failed so many blind dates?
Although I'm not very handsome, I'm definitely not ugly either (even shamelessly, I'm actually a little handsome)
He has thick eyebrows, a high nose bridge, and regular facial features, but his face often looks paralyzed.
Why is that?
Oh, it turns out that many of them were quite satisfied with me, but I rejected them all.
So why should I refuse?
I started looking for answers.
I have accomplished nothing for twenty-seven years. Although my past cannot be said to be uneventful, it is definitely not spectacular either.
Ever since I was a child, most parents have told me not to fall in love prematurely. I also started to indulge in games and novels early in junior high school, and I didn’t have much feelings for girls.
In junior high school, I had an ambiguous girl.
But does that count as love? After graduating from the third year of junior high school and ending up without any problems and losing contact, I don’t think it counts.
What about high school?
There was a girl I had a crush on, but I just lusted after her youthful body.
And I didn't take any action.
In college...it probably wasn't love, it could only be said that I found a dining partner.
(I have written a small chapter about the things here before, called "Twenty-Seven Years of Nothing Accomplished", and it was even reprinted on the official Dianniang account, so I won't go into details here)
So, time went round and round, and we came to the age of twenty-seven.
In the past, work was at home and at the company.
It's even better now, even the company is gone, and I just stay at home typing and thinking about the plot every day.
When did I start to fear finding a partner?
After thinking about it, I probably started after graduation.
When I first graduated, my friends and I talked about games every day.
Living on the line at two o'clock every day, a monthly salary of 1,500 yuan.
After going around for several years, 2500 a month.
This is average for us here.
Not high, not low.
Friends gradually no longer talk about games, but about making money, buying houses, cars, and falling in love.
And getting married.
Yes, some of the friends I played with back then are already married.
There are even two good buddies getting married next month.
But I started to get scared.
Ever since that friend who got married started asking us to come out to eat every day after a year of marriage because he didn't want to go home, he was afraid.
I haven't contacted him for many years, and when he suddenly contacted me and asked for a loan to pay the down payment, I was afraid.
Ever since a cousin from far away started getting divorced after being married for only half a year, I was afraid.
Ever since I got together with my junior high school classmates whom I hadn’t seen in twelve years, and everyone was talking about being overwhelmed by the thirty-year mortgage loan, I was afraid.
Looking at them now, I picture in my mind how they were so high-spirited twelve years ago.
Looking at him now, what emerges in front of my eyes is how they will look the same twenty years from now compared to today, except that they will grow older.
Twenty-seven to fifty-seven years old.
A lifetime, almost.
There is no longing for the future and no pursuit of dreams in their eyes.
There is no light in their eyes anymore.
They saw their future set in stone, and so did I.
Do people live in this world just to...live?
Even if you are like a walking dead, even if you give up your dreams and vision for the future, even if...
Why don’t many young people today want to find a partner?
The self-media that eats human blood steamed buns on the Internet is deliberately creating gender hatred.
The pressure of reality makes people breathless.
Watching others show off their wealth online makes you feel as if hundreds of thousands or millions are just small amounts of money, but if something really happens and you need money, you won't even be able to come up with tens of thousands of dollars.
Now I am not hungry, but I am unable to feed my whole family.
In the thought of "If I can't give her a good life, then why should I delay her?"
In the reality of "facing four elderly people who need care in the future, but have no skills and no brothers and sisters to help".
In the hell of "I can't even afford the down payment if I don't eat my old age".
We are the most miserable generation.
Whenever I talk about this topic, my parents laugh.
No matter how painful you are, is it still painful in our era?
Yes, everyone is suffering.
You are suffering physically, but we are suffering mentally.
Think about it, how long has it been since you saw the word "gnawing at the old people" on TV?
More than ten years ago, everyone was criticizing "cheating on the old people", criticizing TV, criticizing the Internet, criticizing experts, and criticizing the common people.
What now?
No one mentioned it.
Because the house prices that double every year will tug you by the collar and tell you: "If you don't eat your old age, you won't even have a home."
Ten years ago, "I would rather cry in a BMW than laugh in the back seat of a bicycle" was criticized by everyone.
Ten years from now, the cost of a BMW may be just the down payment for your house, or even less than the down payment.
We are the most miserable generation.
An only child, no brothers or sisters, lonely.
When I grow up, house prices and commodity prices rise, but wages do not rise.
There will no longer be any distribution when you return from serving as a soldier.
Business kids will no longer take over.
Many iron rice bowls have become contract-based.
Small private companies are not required to pay five insurances and one housing fund.
Those who work until they are in their thirties or forties will be replaced by younger people.
If you don’t have a house or a car, you won’t get married.
No, it has changed now.
I want a big house and a BBA car.
We finally got married, with four elderly people at the top and two children at the bottom.
The first born is a boy.
The second child is still a boy.
Will you be happy?
No, you will just squat in a corner outside the hospital and smoke all night like my distant cousin, then wipe your red eyes and leave your child in your hometown to work.
Children's education, medical care, schooling, and... houses and cars.
It's so overwhelming that people can't breathe.
Yes, you can just provide him with a mouthful of food after the baby is born, which can be regarded as raising him.
Then what?
When he is a teenager, will he repeat your life?
A friend of mine once said something that left a deep impression on me.
"Marriage is to improve the quality of life. If finding a partner to marry will reduce the quality of life, then why don't I live alone?"
Many people have the same idea.
but I am not.
I'm in more pain.
I have had dreams.
Write the story in your own mind, swim in your own world, and give yourself a sweet dream.
"Big Boss" is a young man's martial arts dream.
He wears a green shirt and wields a sword, wears bright clothes and rages on a horse, and has many beauties.
"Fire" is a realistic dream. A perfect girl who understands you will accompany you to success.
"I can do it" is another dream.
Why do the protagonists of these two books of mine have no system or photographic memory, and were not big names in the industry in their previous lives?
Because they are me.
I am them.
Their character is mine, and their behavior is mine.
As I get older, I no longer have wild dreams.
Then the dream will become more realistic.
A girl who is outstanding and understands you, an ordinary person who may not have much talent, becomes a successful person in an absurd and unexpected way.
They are me and they are not me.
Their character and background are mine (Zhang Hong thinks). If they succeed, my dream will come true.
But it was just a dream after all.
When you wake up from the dream, you understand your true nature.
Why have I failed to date so many times?
Because I am unwilling.
I am not willing to live a life where the end can be seen at a glance.
I don't care about the future that has no future.
I am not willing to find a girl who I just get along with. That would be a harm to her and a harm to me.
I once said that I want to find a girl who has a spiritual compatibility, a tacit understanding with me, and a good-looking girl.
They told me to dream less and not look at myself in the mirror first.
Yes, everyone has conditions, and I think the conditions should match.
Being a rich second generation is a condition, and being able to make money is also a condition.
Being handsome is a prerequisite, being beautiful, in good shape, and having a good temperament are even more prerequisites.
The conditions must be matched.
I am not handsome or tall, and my parents are workers and have retired. One of them works as a janitor in a heating company, and the other works as a dormitory sweeper at the university.
I want a girl who is beautiful, has long legs, long and straight black hair, a good personality, and a compatible soul. I am not worthy.
So I have to work hard to improve my conditions so that I can match them.
But now my conditions are not enough, so my blind dates always fail.
Someone once said, "It depends on what kind of blind date the matchmaker introduces to you, it means that in her eyes, you are also a person of this level."
I admit this, but I am not reconciled to it.
I don't know when the dinner will end.
When I got home, the elders were very satisfied and urged me to quickly set a time to invite them out next time.
Or go on the next blind date in a few days - yes, there will be several more blind dates to follow.
But I'm tired.
"Why do I have to give in?"
They laughed.
"A dragon begets a dragon, a phoenix begets a phoenix, and a mouse's son can make holes. You are a child from a working-class family, and you still expect that a particularly outstanding girl will fall in love with you?"
Yes, let's forget it.
Go on a blind date, find a suitable girl, and let's get along slowly.
If you don't hate it, get married.
Then live a lifetime.
but......
Is that really it?
Are you really willing?
If you try, you may fail.
But if you don’t even dare to try, you will definitely fail.
So, I lit a cigarette, took a puff, and then laughed.
"I don't want to just let it go, I want to try hard."