Christmas at the end of 1993, people across the United States had a really wonderful time. I spent a warm night with my family on Christmas Eve, but when I opened the newspaper and TV the next day, I was severely shocked.
When they first heard the word ‘explosion’, everyone thought that the headquarters of the New York Times had been bombed. But then they realized that what was bombed was shit.
"Is this true? Is this true? This must not be true."
"Oh my God, someone blew up the toilet in The New York Times."
"It's hard to imagine how cruel this was. It is said that there were many people on duty in the building of the Times headquarters, and they were all panicked at the time."
"I used to envy a colleague who went to the New York Times, but now I don't envy him at all. He used to call me to describe his 'painful' life in New York, and now I have to call him to 'comfort' him.
.”
Human beings' sorrows and joys are not the same. Some people laugh when they are unlucky. In every family where the news spread, the unfortunate incident of "The Times" immediately became a hot topic.
The media seemed to be describing a magical feast made of excrement. Readers and viewers were both disgusted and dumbfounded.
The New York Times tried its best to tackle the problem as quickly as possible, but it couldn't stop its colleagues from making jokes one after another. This was a rare comedic disaster, and anyway, it was not itself the unlucky one.
Newspapers, radio stations, television stations, and almost all media outlets are mockingly describing the tragedy that occurred in Times Square. Their writing is exaggerated and their words are erratic.
Faced with the "concern" of colleagues flying all over the sky, the board of directors of The Times wished that some staff members were killed or even injured when the incident occurred. This would bring more grief to the victims.
But the worst offender was Bratton, editor-in-chief of the news section of The Times. He suffered severe psychological trauma and had repeatedly expressed his intention to commit suicide by jumping off a building, but refused to go to the rooftop alone.
After preliminary investigation, the New York Police determined that this was a crime of a heinous nature. The director held a press conference and personally briefed the media on the situation.
"Considering the seriousness of the situation, the city bureau mobilized hundreds of police officers to clean up the scene. We easily found the explosive device used by the criminals and determined their means of committing the crime, which will be very helpful for the subsequent investigation.
"
The press conference was held at the police headquarters in Lower Manhattan, and a large number of media representatives came to attend. The word "very easy" caused laughter in the venue, and everyone knew how "easy" it was.
Many police officers who participated in the cleanup of the scene have been interviewed by the media, describing the "colorful and gorgeous" and "awe-inspiring scenery" of the crime scene. It was really a delicious scene.
Whether they are interviewing, being interviewed, or watching the interview, everyone is in a very... curious mood!
A reporter raised his hand and asked: "Sir, how much do the police know about the suspect at present? Is it possible that he will commit another crime again? What is his purpose?"
The director sat on the stage and pursed his lips, "After the bombing of the New York Times last night, we quickly checked all the surveillance videos in the building, but there has been no progress so far.
According to the analysis of psychological experts, the suspect is likely to have a strong sense of revenge against society, and he has mastered superb explosive skills, so he is very likely to commit crimes again.
In fact, we received an anonymous package today. Someone said he was responsible for the bombing of The Times and will continue to commit crimes tomorrow night."
Wow...
The reporters immediately made a noise of surprise. This criminal is so rampant. He completely ignores the face of the New York police, openly expresses his position, and continues to commit crimes?
"What do the criminals want to do?" a reporter asked.
The director sighed slightly, "We are not yet sure whether the person who sent the parcel is the criminal last night. We don't want to cause too much social panic."
But reporters don’t care about panic. What they want is shocking enough news. Someone shouted loudly: “I am a reporter. The people have the right to know. The police should disclose information that can be made public.”
Other reporters also called out. They came to the reception just to write articles. You can't get paid for a mediocre article. The media are like flies by nature, they have the property of chasing odors.
The chief of the New York Police Department seemed embarrassed, but finally succumbed to the pressure. He named the reporter and said: "The person who sent the package wrote a provocative letter to us, and he mentioned it."
oh......?
Reporters pricked up their ears.
The director continued: "He said that the target of the explosion tonight is the N news agency in Atlanta, Georgia. The reports on N are all FAKE NEWS. In order to make America great again, the lying media must be severely punished."
What?
So amazing!
It is indeed shocking news.
But why is this news bad luck for his family?
The reporter who asked the question was stunned on the spot. The colleague next to him immediately turned the camera and took pictures of his stunned face. Even the director on the stage showed a sigh and pitiful expression, shaking his head to express comfort to him.
The director grabbed a plastic bag, and inside the bag was a sealed letter. This thing was made of cut-out newspaper letters and spliced together. The report in extra-large fonts was actually fraud, lies and misinterpretation, and was the source of social unrest.
In addition to the letter with spliced letters, there was also a red hat with the words 'MAGA' on it. The reporters thought for a long time before they realized that this was the abbreviation of 'MAGA AGAIN'.
Oh my God!
Do all criminals these days have such noble sentiments?
Isn't it good to ask for ransom when you're full? What's the point of being great again? I've never seen this plot before, it must be a joke.
After showing the evidence, the director turned to comfort the reporters at the scene, "Don't worry, we have notified the Atlanta police and headquarters. They said they will strengthen their vigilance and will never let the bombers succeed again."
Senior officials also stated that they would immediately inspect the headquarters building to eliminate all hidden dangers. They will strictly control the entry and exit of all personnel and will never let the disaster happen again.
I personally think this is just a bluff by the criminal. He was able to successfully commit the crime at the Times headquarters because we were not paying attention. But now that the police are well prepared, he has no chance to commit the crime."
That's what I say, but it's not your house's shit that's being blown up, so of course you don't have to worry.
The New York Times, which has been laughed to death by the entire United States, is the main force. The whole day's reporting is all about the misfortunes of its colleagues, pushing their opponents into the shithole.
Now that the situation has changed, this damn criminal has not hid, but continues to come out to cause trouble. You can imagine what a carnival the American media will be, with their eyes wide open and ready to watch the drama.
The press conference was a great success, and those who participated in it were greatly rewarded. They quickly wrote articles to spread the news and rushed to release it as soon as possible.
People across the United States are still immersed in the tragicomedy of "The New York Times", and the next second they are enveloped in greater 'sadness' - this shit bomber hasn't had enough fun, and he wants to blow up the toilet at home?
The melon seeds are ready, everyone is waiting to see.