The moment he saw Deadpool, Parker's first thought was not that his identity had been exposed, but that he was shocked by Deadpool's shady temperament, which was so dazzling that no one dared to be first when he was second.
"Who are you?"
"I am Wade Wilson, the captain of the superhero team 'X-Force'. Fans call me Deadpool. Parker, we have been observing you from the moment you were bitten by the spider. Congratulations."
, you are a qualified hero and qualified to be one of us."
Deadpool said loudly, pulled out a chair from the desk, sat in front of Parker with his legs crossed, and kept shaking.
"Uh, this chair..."
"I know, this is your property, don't worry, we are a superhero team, no one will take your chair." Deadpool said, while shaking his butt vigorously: "I have never seen anything worse than this.
But I like the chair, it creaks, as if it is conquered by me."
"No, I mean this chair can't..."
"What can't you do? Use force? Sorry, I just like to use force! Gaga, I can use force even harder!"
Bang!
"Ah!! Help, helpme! My butt, I can't feel my butt! Ahhhhh"
The old wooden chair that was in disrepair was broken when Deadpool sat on it, and a chair leg was inserted straight into his buttocks, causing him to roll on the ground in pain and let out a heart-rending scream.
"..."
Parker shrugged, his depressed mood improved a lot.
"Hey, good neighbor from New York City, what are you giggling about? Come here and help me." Deadpool turned his butt towards Parker and grunted while asking for help.
(._.)
Parker had a solemn look on his face and was caught in a tangle and struggle. His sense of justice prevented him from ignoring the victim, so he extended a helping hand and held the chair legs tightly.
"Hey, Parker, what's going on? Why did you make the door like this?" The landlord walked in angrily and was stunned when he saw the scene inside the house.
(??)x1
(￣□￣；)x2
"Sorry to bother you! Parker, the maintenance fee will be deducted from your rent deposit, and... you don't have to worry about me telling you. In fact, I don't discriminate. Really, be quieter next time."
The landlord's face changed slightly, he smiled awkwardly, pretending to be calm and covering his vital parts, keeping a high degree of vigilance as if to guard against thieves, and retreated little by little out of the house.
"No need, I'll pay for the repair." At this moment, Russell appeared at the door, took out a roll of Franklin from his pocket, counted out five cards and threw them in the corridor.
"God bless you, generous sir, you can do whatever you want with this room!" The landlord picked up five banknotes with a swoop, fearing that Russell would regret it, and disappeared at the end of the corridor with a swish.
In terms of speed, he has the potential to be a superhero!
"I remember you, you were the one on the train..."
When he saw Russell, Parker immediately beamed with joy. He tried to organize his words but didn't know how to speak, because he still didn't know Russell's name.
"Help, come help me." Deadpool put his hands on the ground, turned his butt, and moved towards Russell.
"No problem, I like to help others." Russell chuckled, accelerated and took off, leaving an afterimage in place, flying up and kicking the leg of the chair.
Poof!
The picture was so beautiful that Parker covered his weak and helpless eyes and heard a shrill scream. After that, the room became completely quiet.
…
In the room, Deadpool was lying on the ground, his whole head stuck in the wooden wall, silently without saying a word, maybe he was dead.
Russell and Parker chatted, and the atmosphere was pretty good. They ignored a certain idiot and were quite harmonious.
"The so-called X-Agent Team is a team of heroes specially composed of superpowers. The one in the corner who is bleeding is the captain. You can call him Deadpool, you can call him Wade, or you can call him a bastard."
Parker scratched his head: "Uh, what should I call you?"
"Didn't I say that?"
"..."
"Forget it, let me say it again, my name is Russell. Forgetful Spider-Man, do you remember it clearly this time?"
"..."
Parker was silent for a moment. To be honest, he had no interest in this so-called X agent team. The other party's strength persuaded him to retreat, so he thought it would be better not to touch it.
"Our X-Agent team is different from other superhero organizations. We do not have a fixed territory, but travel through various universes. Wherever there is evil, we will appear. Yes, we are Justice... ahem, Justice Watchers!
"
"Forget it, I don't want to leave New York." Parker shook his head and refused. Traveling around the world was nonsense, but he believed it: "Besides, New York alone is already exhausting me, let alone other places."
"It's okay. We won't force you. When you figure it out one day, you can call me. I'll be waiting for you at any time."
Russell said, grabbed Deadpool's legs, forcibly pulled his head out of the wall, waved his hand to Parker, and just dragged Deadpool and disappeared into the corridor.
Two minutes later, Parker regained consciousness and said with a dumbfounded expression: "Damn it, you should have left me the phone!"
When Parker rushed out of the apartment building like a breeze, Russell and Deadpool could no longer be found. He was still thinking of asking each other for help and looking for Mary Jane together!
"I'm so stupid..."
…
"I'm so stupid!"
Deadpool sat on the rooftop of a building with his butt in his hands, and yelled at Russell wildly: "You used your poor acting skills to tell Parker that the captain of the X-Force team is a fool, and he only joined us because he was crazy!"
"But you are just a fool!"
"That's the illusion I use to confuse the enemy. Under normal circumstances, I'm not a fool..." Deadpool said this, covering his face and sobbing: "My favorite Parker is gone. Without him joining, I have to form a shitty x
Special Forces. I don’t want to play anymore, I want to go home!”
"etc!"
Russell held down Deadpool's shoulders: "Man, you misunderstood. In fact, I did everything on purpose just to make Parker join us wholeheartedly."
"You deliberately made me a fool?"
"Yes, sand sculpture!"
Before Deadpool could react, Russell said angrily: "Wade, you are a fool yourself. Instead of hiding in disguise and tricking Parker into joining the team, it is better to show it directly. The more useless the X Agent Team is, the more Parker will look down on you.
The future plans will be smoother."
"Sorry, I didn't understand."
"It's not your fault. After all, you are a fool."
"Wow, I understand this sentence."
"..."
Looking at Deadpool who was inexplicably proud, Russell's eyes twitched. He didn't know whether he was really stupid or pretending to be crazy, so he ignored it and entered the topic: "Human nature can't stand the stain on beautiful things, but if it is all black from the beginning,
What's the point?"
"Man, I get it."
Deadpool slapped Russell on the thigh and yelled excitedly: "Because we suck. Instead of pretending to be perfect, it would be better to let Parker despair of us at the beginning, and then gradually show his bright side. This way he will
I changed my first impression and felt that X-Force was actually pretty good, then I changed my view of us little by little, and finally accepted us completely."
"That's right!"
"Russell, my good brother, you are such a genius!"
"Well, you too!"
"Oh la la~"
Deadpool felt that the plan was feasible, and he danced and sang excitedly. After a while, he came back to his senses and looked confused: "That's not right! Man, do we have a highlight?"
"Uh...everyone except you."
"..."
"Don't worry!" Russell held the pearl of wisdom in hand and said calmly: "Parker is looking for Doctor Octopus because his goddess Mary Jane was..."
"Wait a minute, where did that Mary Jane come from? Parker's goddess should be me!"
"Wade, you have to face reality. Parker's orientation is normal and there is no way he can fall in love with you."
"I don't care!"
Russell rolled his eyes, too lazy to talk nonsense with him, and continued: "Parker and Doctor Octopus are equally powerful, and Doctor Octopus has Mary Jane as a hostage. Parker will definitely not be able to defeat him with his rat-proof weapon. When the time comes, the two of us will make a brilliant appearance and help
He resolves the crisis."
Deadpool nodded crazily: "Perform a hero saving a beauty, and Parker will fall madly in love with me. When I invite him to join the team, he will be in love and agree after a few twists."
"..."
Russell took a deep breath: "Wade, if you dare to interrupt again, I will stuff Doctor Octopus into your body."
Deadpool sat obediently with his hands on his knees, raised his hand to his mouth and made a zipper motion, indicating that he would not talk nonsense.
"We helped Parker rescue Mary Jane and owed him a favor, but this only made it difficult for him to refuse us, and he was still close to a successful invitation."
Russell said with a sinister smile: "This requires the help of Mary Jane. That woman is extremely ambitious and longs to become a famous actress. She needs flowers, applause, flashlights, and a lot of praise, and these
...Humph, Parker can't even give it to her."
"In fact, as a busy superhero, Parker can't even give Mary Jane the minimum time for the two of them. Sooner or later, the two of them will end. The blow to love will make Parker feel discouraged..."
"This is the perfect moment for us to show up and invite him to join the team!"
Deadpool fell into the beautiful fantasy weaved by Russell, hissed and touched his saliva, and applauded desperately: "Russell, I love you!"
Russell pressed his hand and signaled Deadpool to calm down, and added calmly: "In order to prevent the plan from going awry, I have also prepared a second plan, and that is... venom!"
Deadpool raised his hand to answer: "Teacher Russell, I know, I know. Let Parker put on Venom and become an anti-hero without moral constraints, which can fit in with us more perfectly."
Russell nodded, showing a childish smile of relief: "Wade, you have grown up."
"Well, this was my plan from the beginning!"
"..."
Russell coughed lightly: "Stop talking nonsense, take out the venom, and start the second plan now."