Seventy-fifth of the solution to Su Daqiang's demon method
After realizing that he had not been able to truly untie Su Mingyu's heart and change the plot of the world, Lin Li kept reflecting on what he had done in the past ten years with complicated emotions, and realized that what he had done was really
Too few, and no serious efforts were made to change the fate of the Su family.
It’s no wonder that after going round and round, the development of the plot returned to its original trajectory.
At the same time, he also examined his feelings for Su Mingyu, and it was difficult to say that he was treating her wholeheartedly, at least not attentively enough, otherwise he should have noticed this long ago.
If he had realized it earlier, perhaps through his intervention, the biggest crux in Su Mingyu's heart, that is, her mother Zhao Meilan, might not have died.
After realizing this, Lin Li quickly decided to make amends.
He secretly made up his mind that although he could not change what happened in the past, he must do better in the future, not only to treat Su Mingyu well, but also to completely change the appearance of the entire Su family.
And his first step is to start with Su Daqiang!
Although Lin Li really didn't want to get involved with that weird Su family.
From God's perspective, Su Daqiang's actions are not a qualified father at all. He only knows how to be selfish and greedy for his own enjoyment. What's even more chilling is that he keeps instigating the relationship between his children and causing family conflicts.
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Meeting such a father, the three brothers and sisters of the Su family can be said to have been unlucky for eight lifetimes!
If it were a child with a slightly more cruel heart, he would probably sever ties with him sooner or later, or simply send him to a nursing home without seeing him.
But it is very difficult for ordinary people. After all, they are their own parents, so how can they truly ignore them?
Furthermore, Su Daqiang is certainly a weirdo, but there are actually parents like him everywhere in society, and there are even many old people like Su Mingcheng. Otherwise, there would be no old saying that "every family has its own scriptures that are difficult to recite."
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All in all, from his and Su Mingyu's point of view, since it is impossible to stay away from Su Daqiang until death, the only option is to find a way to change his personality.
Lin Li thought about it carefully and found out that Su Daqiang's personality change was not simply because no one cared about him after Zhao Meilan's death, but had an internal reason.
When he was re-study in college in this world, he studied psychology for a period of time and knew that there are three major driving forces in human nature, namely narcissism, sex and aggression.
These three motivations are also the source of vitality. Suppressing them is equivalent to suppressing vitality.
Let’s not mention the previous two points, let’s just talk about aggression. In the original Su family system, Zhao Meilan suppressed Su Daqiang’s aggressive desire for a long time, which also led to Su Daqiang’s aggressiveness being released after her death.
From this perspective, the root of the problem naturally lies with Zhao Meilan. This may also be the bad influence she inherited from her original family.
Zhao Meilan is a typical parent who identifies with the big family and works under the symbiotic model.
What is the symbiosis model?
That is, all the members of this family are one, and whoever is not doing well should be helped by those who are doing well. You must repay me for my dedication in the future.
In this model, the sense of boundaries between family members is not strong. What is yours is mine, and what is mine is yours.
Let's make a specific assumption. If the eldest Su Mingzhe is doing well, then he should naturally support his younger brother Su Mingcheng. As a girl, Su Mingyu is going to get married, so in the future she should belong to her husband's family, and not to the Su family, a large family in a symbiotic system.
Under this underlying logic, she strictly controlled Su Daqiang, both in words and actions, completely restricting his expression of aggression.
Therefore, after being blocked from venting his aggressive desires, Su Daqiang's vitality had been suppressed. After Zhao Meilan passed away, his true inner voice was, I have suffered so much for this family and your three children.
I'm angry enough. Now that Zhao Meilan is gone, you, my children, must pay back what she owes me.
This logic is common in symbiotic families.
Yes, in the face of human nature, everyone is not easy to mess with, and Su Daqiang was not born to be a tolerant and devoid of desires.
Now that his wife's restraint on him has disappeared, he can finally try to live out his true self in old age and release the aggressive desire he has accumulated for decades...
When Lin Li calmed down and carefully analyzed Su Daqiang's character and behavior, he finally realized that the reason behind his repeated demonic behavior was that after his nature had been suppressed for a long time, he began to cautiously release it.
his aggressiveness.
Once you find the root of the problem, it's actually not difficult to solve it.
Even though Lin Li's attainments in psychology were still very shallow, he knew that at this time, he needed to provide Su Daqiang with a very safe environment to make him feel that he could do this and that he had the freedom to do so.
Only after he has gained the freedom and sense of security can a good communication mechanism be established.
Therefore, if you want to cure Su Daqiang's "monster" problem, you must use a tolerant attitude to accept his tentative behaviors, let him know that he has gained the respect of his children, and then slowly guide him to suppress himself
Only by releasing the aggression deep in his heart can Su Daqiang find his new vitality.
Take the period when he lived in Su Mingcheng's house as an example. Zhu Li and Su Mingcheng seemed to be very tolerant of Su Daqiang, their old father, and tried their best to meet his various unreasonable needs, but in fact they were full of resistance in their hearts.
This was tantamount to once again refusing Su Daqiang's release of his aggression, which further led to their state entering a negative cycle.
After Lin Li calmly analyzed all this and put aside all the prejudices and disgust he had against Su Daqiang in the past, he was no longer so resistant to Su Daqiang.
To put it simply, there are two ways to cure his "work".
The first is that someone once again assumes the role of Zhao Meilan and adopts a high-pressure approach to suppress Su Daqiang's narcissism, sexuality, and aggression again.
This approach worked in the past and it works now.
As for the second type, just follow what Lin Li thought just now, meet his inner desire with an inclusive attitude, and truly care for the other person.
Of these two methods, Lin Li naturally preferred the latter.
No matter what, Su Daqiang is always Mingyu's father. Out of respect for Mingyu, he should let him enjoy his old age in peace.
This is one of the ways to truly untie Su Mingyu's knot.