Mai Shiraishi sat on the old stone steps, raised her head and looked at the sky where the sunset was about to set. The clouds were rendered into dark red and floated in front of her eyes.
I walked to her, swept away the fine stones on the stone steps with my hands, and sat down.
She glanced at me and said nothing.
I was influenced by her, and what I just wanted to say swallowed into my throat.
The two of us were respectively committed to the boundless thoughts woven by silence.
"Um..." I sat for a while and decided to speak, "Is Maiyan really going to graduate?"
When she heard what I said, she looked away from the cloud.
"Well, it's about time." Her smile was gentle, a feeling I was familiar with.
"But..." I was filled with reluctance, and I almost didn't sleep all night after learning the news yesterday.
"You have grown up too, Momoko, you already have the respect of your younger generations, so I can rest assured that I can leave the heavy responsibility of Nogizaka to you."
When I heard her calling my name, I suddenly felt confused.
I remembered the past of being insomnia and worrying about my career, and the time I spent living in the thick clouds of numbness. At that time, I had just joined Nogizaka, and I was afraid and worried about everything.
Then he was rescued by her from anxiety and helplessness.
She, Shiraishi Mai.
He is the most special person in Nogizaka, for me.
Tears still flowed down. I am not a person who can hide my feelings, and my fragile defense has always been a problem for me.
Tears blurred my eyes and my vision was unclear. I seemed to see her suddenly smile.
"Taozi, Taozi, you are still the same as before." She stretched out her hand, touched my forehead, then slid it down, and her warm palm lingered on my face for a moment.
I choked up a little, thinking about the days without her, the days without her always watching us from behind and supporting us.
"I miss you so much." I thought such pretentious words could not come out of my mouth, but now I wish I could use more of the same words.
I stretched out my hands to hug her, and she immediately hugged me in her arms.
I rested my forehead on her chest and closed my eyes, as if I was back to that day when she comforted me and cried.
"Okay, when all the juniors are here, we should go back." She wiped the tears from my face and patted my back gently.
I agreed softly and stood up from the ground. She patted the dust on my skirt for me, being too careful.
She is always like this, more like a sister who takes good care of me than her predecessors.
Even if I have a playmate of the same age, I will still rush into her arms immediately when I get hurt.
"Let's go." She left first, while I stopped and looked at her familiar back.
Just like when she looked at me who was confused.
………………
Loneliness is the norm. When you feel hard, you might as well think about the real happiness that someone once brought you, so that you will not feel that the world is not worth it.
"Actually, I had this idea two years ago. I have considered my own future, and of course I have also considered the future of Nogizaka."
"Have you really thought about it?"
"Well, I've decided. I've already posted it on the blog. Of course I won't regret it, although I still feel a little empty inside."
"Hey, here's the cruel Mai type."
"Weren't you even more determined when you graduated?"
"It's different. You and I are also different."
"No matter what the difference, we are all the same."
"You have always been very gentle and rarely think about your own affairs. Even if you graduate, you have thought about it for a long time, right? You have to think about the compromise, and you do it because you really won't cause trouble to others, right?
?”
"I'm not as good as you say."
"You do." She shook her head, "If you weren't, then there wouldn't be one in this world."
She fell silent, quiet and gentle.
"Actually, I'm very happy to see my juniors grow up. But as I get older, my sense of belonging to Nogizaka has become deeply rooted. I'm afraid that the later I get, the more reluctant I will be to let go."
"You are always like this."
"After graduation, the direction of my life has changed, and I feel that the meaning of my future has become blurry."
"Life has no meaning, but we must give it a certain meaning so that people can have motivation, expectations, hope, sustenance, keep pursuing, and keep walking. Although the destination has been predicted, the process is not
most important."
"As expected of you, what you say is still so philosophical."
"Forget it, don't say these heavy words. It's rare for two people to go on a date."
"Well, I will have more time after graduation, and it will be free by then."
She recalled how she cried uncontrollably at her graduation concert and hugged her tightly all the time, and she still felt a sense of sadness and sadness in her heart for no reason.
I wanted to go up and give her a hug, but I held back.
Although every individual's existence in the world is difficult and lonely, we are inseparably connected in terms of the archetype of memory.