Volume Four, Volume 5, Chapter 33, Universal Rubber Band
"For example: My husband doesn't have much ability, but he only makes a million a year."
Chen Mengting shrugged as she said, "So, please don't laugh at our family's poverty."
"Ah this..."
Such bragging made me speechless for a moment.
"It's a classic to make a million a year, and a classic incompetent husband is all he needs."
While talking, Chen Bifang in front of him couldn't help but hugged his shoulders and said with a wry smile.
"I can also brag about it. Our house has only four walls because the gold wallpaper is too brittle and nothing can be hung on it. It's really annoying."
As I spoke, I showed a worried expression: "People like me, whose net worth is only nine figures, are really tired of living."
"Hahahaha, so classic."
Chen Bifang also laughed and said.
"Any more?"
Senior Zhou Ke asked curiously: "I still want to hear what I want to hear. After all, although I have learned about it, I have never experienced it personally or actually used it, so I don't know anything about performance..."
"Let me think about it..."
Chen Mengting looked like she was thinking seriously.
"There are also luxury cars and mansions."
I smiled and added.
"Yeah! Also, for example, my family doesn't have much money, but the coming-of-age ceremony was quite happy. It was a Maserati, which is pretty good."
While talking, Chen Mengting couldn't help but shook her head and sighed: "And it doesn't stop there. It's like adult gifts like Maserati, Land Rover, Porsche, Mercedes-Benz, Ferrari. Every girl has a dream dressing table. Her husband is an invisible rich man.
From high school love to marriage, Dior lipstick, Chanel bags, Hermès, Louis LV, Gucci, etc... surprises abound during the holidays, making you feel like a princess every day.”
"Princess, I thought wrongly."
Chen Bifang said with a smile while holding his shoulders.
"Go! Go! Go."
Senior Sister Zhou Ke looked contemptuous.
"Such a family is so terrifying. Is this the strong man of Douzong?"
I also laughed and said jokingly.
"It comes right out of the mouth. It's true. His husband has given so much since high school. A girl would basically think she is rich."
Chen Bifang said while picking his nose helplessly: "If this is still an invisible rich man, then it is haunted."
"Any more? Let's talk about it."
I asked with a smile: "This kind of thing, please listen to your superiors."
"Exquisite afternoon tea, check-in at star-rated hotels. Traveling abroad, feng shui mountains and rivers, beautiful scenery, and all kinds of dazzling luxury goods are like sand in their hands, they can grab them at any time."
Chen Mengting sighed, and her voice became a little emotional: "In their eyes, a girl's dream is the so-called homely reform. They will tell you how to choose afternoon tea, fashion, star-rated hotels, and how to take beautiful photos and hair.
In the circle of friends, say that good things will come as expected.”
"Then did they tell you how to make a fortune?"
Chen Bifang held his chin with his hand, with a smile on his face.
"It doesn't say it in the picture... but it will tell you on the homepage that as long as you join their project or something, it is not a dream to get rich overnight and make millions a year."
While talking, Chen Mengting in front of her shrugged helplessly: "Not only that, but there are all kinds of people who obviously have nothing, but they want to comment below... A few hundred yuan of lipstick? Thousands of dollars?
He can buy a belt worth tens of thousands of yuan or even a bag worth tens of thousands of yuan, but he still has a good style. When other rich people pretend to be cool, he just goes along with it. It’s really ridiculous.”
"I support you."
Chen Bifang took over the conversation: "This thing is really a serious IQ detector. Not only that, but there are all kinds of people who obviously have a little spare money but don't invest in themselves and let themselves learn technology and get a certificate.
I’m really convinced that I have to spend money to show off with this group of people.”
"Yes, that's how it is. The world they created is called the back wave, and we are just the deep sea under the back wave. We will never be able to see the light in front of us, and we will never see the light in front of us for the rest of our lives.
We can't even see the exit of the road ahead. We are like a school of fish drifting with the current. We obviously want to change something, but we can't do anything. Most of the time, all we can do is just a few short things.
.”
I sighed and couldn't help but continue: "And the world they created is like heaven, like you can easily get what you want without any effort. Just say it.
It's very ordinary. In fact, it's just a desire to receive envious looks. Many times, life is like this. Some people are born on the waves, and some people are born on the bottom of the sea. The joy of the waves and the silence of the bottom of the sea will last forever.
Not proportional."
"Such values have already led many people astray."
Chen Bifang said with emotion.
"But you have no choice. After all, this era has been about entertainment to death from the beginning. You don't even have a chance to resist, do you understand?"
I shook my head and sighed with a wry smile.
"Sigh... the upper class and the back wave are simply fake. Here, everyone is a back wave and everyone is a master of success. If this were true, the country would have become the world's largest country long ago."
Senior Zhou Ke couldn't help but sigh, and there seemed to be a hint of helplessness in her voice.
"No way, this kind of thing is just like that."
After I finished speaking, I couldn't help but sigh: "Although life is hard, there are all kinds of prosperity and falsehoods created in order to blind these people and forget their own situation. But many times, just like
As Shakespeare said, 'Full of sound and enthusiasm, and nothing in it.' This is my opinion."
While talking, I slowly leaned my body on the sofa and looked at the people in front of me quietly.
"Is there anything else weird that can make people happy?"
After thinking about it, Senior Sister Zhou Ke couldn't help but asked softly.
"Hmm... let me think about it, does the magic weight loss method count?"
As Chen Mengting said this, she couldn't help but think about it.
"What's the most amazing way to lose weight?"
Upon hearing this, Senior Zhou Ke in front of me couldn't help but froze on the spot, with a puzzled look on her face, as if she didn't understand what happened at all.
"For example..."
Chen Mengting pondered for a moment, and suddenly she answered directly: "For example, the pooping method to lose weight."
"...."
"...."
"...."
For a moment, the surrounding atmosphere was deathly silent. Everyone was shocked by this method and didn't know what to say.
"What... is this a great way to lose weight by pooping?"
Suddenly, Senior Sister Zhou Ke in front of me spoke.
"That's it...their picture says that one cup a day is equivalent to one enema a day, which can eliminate about 7.9 kilograms. Not only can it relieve constipation, but it can also cure years-old constipation, and it also has the effect of losing weight."
When Chen Mengting said this, everyone was silent for a while.
"Did I say something wrong?"
Chen Mengting looked at our reactions and couldn't help but asked with some doubts.
"No...as soon as you say it, it makes sense."
I slowly raised my hands and answered softly.
"Indeed... just by saying it, I can picture the picture in my head. It's just... disgusting..."
Chen Bibi also said cautiously.
"It's... it's scary to lose a few pounds a day, but it's still seven pounds..."
Senior Zhou Ke couldn't help but tremble at the corners of her mouth, and showed a helpless smile: "What the hell is this?"
"emmm...."
Chen Mengting rubbed her embarrassed cheeks and replied softly: "But it's not just that, there are others. What can I say? Pulling out more than eight kilograms... is simply appalling."
"More than eight pounds...what is the concept?"
Chen Bifang couldn't help but talk to himself
Come.
"Probably..."
I couldn't help scratching my forehead: "When I was cooking before, I made a pound of rice and ate half the pot with some vegetables. And I ate like this when I was already very good at eating. Think about it for yourself.
, calculated based on seven kilograms, the average person needs to eat at least a dozen meals. Is it okay for him to poop out all this?"
"Ah...when you say that, all I can think about is the sight of shit in the rice cooker..."
Chen Bifang couldn't help but smile bitterly, with a look of disgust on his face.
"It is said that... someone has done data. If he follows his plan... it will be very scary. If he does not pull the weight for two or three hours, he will not be able to bear the weight."
Chen Mengting scratched her forehead in disgust.
"This is the rich man..."
I smiled and hugged my shoulders, with a smile on my face: "Just think, there won't be any poor person who has one or two hours to poop, right?"
"You're right."
Senior Sister Zhou Ke nodded seriously.
"That's true."
Chen Bifang also spoke in agreement.
"anything else?"
Senior Sister Zhou Ke asked softly.
"I want something else..."
Chen Mengting thought for a moment and replied softly: "Yes, these big guys also invented the rubber band method to lose weight."
"A rubber band to lose weight? Put it on the belly? Wherever it's fat?"
Senior Sister Zhou Ke in front of her was so frightened by such words that she couldn't close her mouth in surprise.
"What you said is just like joking."
Chen Bifang couldn't help but complain.
"But there is no way, people just invented it, like... Use a rubber band to help the middle finger and ring finger to slim down the face, just tie the thumb to slim the face, tie the thumb to the index finger to slim down the waist, tie the ring finger to the little finger to lift the buttocks, tie the little finger
Slim legs.”
Speaking of this, Chen Mengting also added: "People say this thing is more effective than a hunger strike. In just a few days or a week, it can make you lose 90 pounds. It's really impressive."
"This...rubber band prince?"
Finally I couldn't help but complained: "This is the sequel to The Lord of the Rings, Rubber Band King, Thanos can also try it. After all, guys like Thanos were originally meant to prevent the collection of gems, but now they have been changed to stop them."
When humans wear rubber bands, they are simply leading evil people."
"If you say that, then I have a problem with it."
As he spoke, Chen Bifang couldn't help but smile: "This thing must have a scientific basis. After all, if you tie it like this, your fingers will become ischemic and necrotic in a few days. If you tie them for a few days, you can
If you are unable to eat, let alone eat, you will wonder if you are a fool. If it is serious, it will be cut off and you will be able to control your diet. I have to say, this
It’s the boss, the boss!”
"According to what he said, as long as I tie up my hands, will I have an amazing figure in a month??"
Senior Zhou Ke, who had been silent for a long time, also got excited at this time and started to complain.
"No, as long as I wear too many rubber bands on my hands, I can destroy the world."
At this point, I also imitated Thanos and snapped my fingers.
"Great!"
Chen Mengting couldn't help laughing.
"We are brothers. Let's have an enema together with drinks, and then put on rubber bands together. We will be invincible. There is no one in the world who can't defeat us!"
While talking, Chen Bifang in front of him acted like a middle-class student.
"Then what you said, I understand why the hoe is so sharp."
I sighed with emotion.
Before I finished speaking, everyone in front of me asked with some confusion: "Why?"
"Because, before all agricultural equipment is produced, rubber bands are required to be tied on, because it can slim the face and form a V-shaped face, and that's how the hoe appeared."
My joking words immediately made the whole room burst into laughter again.