The slender and tight boot legs jumped out of the water, and the water droplets attached to the smooth boot shaft quickly dripped back into the bathtub along a beautiful arc. The index finger wrapped in a glove of the same material ran across the boot shaft, feeling smooth
Even more so than silk.
"Hey~~~"
I sighed and put my legs back into the bathtub. Although the bathtub in this room is quite big, it still pales in comparison to the bathhouse at home. Due to the ordinary life during this period, I haven't bathed in my body for a long time.
I took a shower. I lost that wonderful feeling of being wrapped. I always felt that something was missing.
Cherry described it very aptly. Gloves and boots are indeed a girl’s armor, and historically, they were originally born as part of the armor. Cherry had a physical defect before, while I had a mental defect.
I used to be a nerd, and I am still a nerd today. I cannot get along well with strangers, and I have never been able to get rid of the inferiority deep in my heart. Now I seem to be full of self-confidence, but
Whenever I encounter failure, especially when I am rejected by others, my inferiority complex will burst out in an instant and overwhelm me. I can't control it at all. The hard heel of the boots can crush anything, and the smooth boots can be immune to any harm.
, thin gloves can isolate any dirt...but none of these can make me truly strong, my heart is still extremely fragile.
I hate failure, especially failure after trying my best. This situation is when the world sees you as weak and feeds you shit, and you have no way to resist, so you can only eat the shit with tears in your eyes.
, and then continue to work hard to prepare for the next meal of shit. Why do I love Ling Mei so much, and why can I trust her unconditionally. In addition to her extreme beauty and extreme power, her dreams make me admire her so much. She hopes to give
Everyone, no matter good or bad, can bring happiness. She hopes that the world can be gentle and allow those who work hard to get what they want. She hopes that the world will no longer have all kinds of disgusting settings and
Reality. She has both ideals and power, and is a veritable "god". No matter what others think of her, she will always be my idol to me. I have never worshiped anyone before, because the word "worship" represents
She is blind and stubborn. Ordinary people have all kinds of shortcomings and are not qualified to be worshiped at all. But Ling Mei, she is perfect, perfect in the true sense. Her various shortcomings are all intentional.
In order to make myself more like an ordinary person and get along better with me. She is the perfection that cannot exist in reality. She is the concept of perfection itself.
And I, knowing that I can never be her, have been clumsily chasing, imitating, trying to be like her. And when failure occurs, I will be knocked back to my original shape, and I will see clearly again.
I must see clearly the fact that I am incompetent. No matter how I imitate Ling Mei, I can never become her, nor can I become a perfect goddess like her...
Absolutely impossible, Lingmei has already said this herself.
But... I don’t know why, I don’t understand why I do this, I don’t understand why I feel unwilling to admit defeat. I have been a loser from a long time ago, just like many people who play volleyball in competitive games.
The same thing, no matter how hard you work or paddle, you can't win. So I have always followed the principle of saving effort, avoiding doing anything that may fail, and avoiding accepting any challenges. I know that I will definitely fail, and I don't want to be the cornerstone of others, like that
I'm not happy either. I've been fed shit by reality and I can't stand it anymore. So I gave up the idea of fighting long ago and just linger in silence... But why, why do I start to overestimate my capabilities now?
Why do I have the thoughts that I only have when I am young and ignorant? Why do I think about chasing Ling Mei and making some achievements to show her? Is it just because I have a little power now? Because of this little power, I am lost.
Have you? Then I am really weak-willed~ I don’t even have the courage to admit that I am weak...
I must have failed Ling Mei's expectations, right? She only hoped that I could live happily, but I did things that I couldn't do over and over again, making myself unhappy at all. It is rare for people to have self-knowledge.
I am a typical person with no self-awareness~ All the charm I have now was given to me by Lingmei, and my soul is still that dead house with no appeal at all. Once the outer layer of leather is broken, everyone
They will immediately hate me and run away while cursing disgusting words. My personality has no charm, and all the charm comes from this body. It is all the result of the body~~~
Give up, Amy, you can't conquer ordinary people in real life. Your otaku-style gentleness is only effective for 2.5-dimensional girls like Cherry and others with abnormal brains. Ordinary girls will simply treat you as
Shad sculpture. You are not a man...at least not now. You are a super beautiful girl who can make all real girls envious and jealous. Your appearance is simply a huge disadvantage here. Even if you have shown extraordinary financial resources and talents.
, your beautiful girl appearance will still make ordinary girls wary, they will never be able to express their feelings to you like the 2.5-dimensional Lily girl. You are just a useful bodyguard, an unlimited credit card, and expensive and gorgeous accessories.
, you can never be truly accepted by them, and you can never let them make changes for you...
Yes~ I always try my best to express my kindness and change my model for the other person, and hope that the other person will change themselves for me. But how is this possible? As I said before, I am good to her
It's all wishful thinking. I don't expect her to do anything for me at all. Real life is like this. Giving goodwill does not mean receiving goodwill. There is no such thing as a reciprocal exchange agreement between anyone~ I am not from a
Did you understand it from the beginning? So, am I stupid to always expect the other person to change? Is it extremely stupid to be sad because the other person does not realize this expectation? I know that the real world is a garbage game, why do I still complain about my lack of it?
Getting rewarded? I totally deserve it, I'm the one who brought it upon myself, right? What nonsense is "living an ordinary life"? What's so good about an ordinary life? Isn't it just being constantly fed shit by the world? It's not called living a peaceful and peaceful life.
Ordinary life, that is an ideal life! Ordinary life means that nine out of ten times it will be unsatisfactory. Ordinary life means that you go to the toilet without paper and buy things without money. Ordinary life means that the alarm clock does not go off and you are about to be late and you are caught in a heavy rain... I am no longer in a hurry.
I am no longer a submissive ordinary person, why should I live a rubbish ordinary life? Maybe I will never be able to catch up with Ling Mei, but I still have to do the same thing as her! Damn ordinary, I will not use it today
Ordinary destroy this garbage ordinary world!
Continue to indulge in the corrupt life, Baiyanghua, I will let you know what is the difference between you and me.