Chapter five hundred and forty fifth governance heart
But things are never as easy as imagined.
These three rounds of 1V1 had a great impact on Liu Jiangqing's heart. He was beaten to the point where he didn't even recognize himself. His operating techniques were clumsy, his reactions were slow, his consciousness was weak, and he was so stupid that he could only be described as a rookie. Plus Shang Hengdaoyijian's rather sharp judgments made him feel more and more ashamed in his heart, and he unconsciously began to ask himself: Is this me really me?
When he was in Mingyue Pavilion, Liu Jiangqing was known as a "serious maniac" and a "focused maniac" in the team. Although he looked very free and easy on the surface, he liked to turn on the phone with his feet, and he spoke straightforwardly, but in reality he was very However, he is very strict with himself. He gets up early and goes to bed early every day, and completes the training and study plan for the day on time without delay. Moreover, he also attaches great importance to appearance. Whether he is participating in competitions or during daily team training, he is always dressed cleanly and neatly. Looking energetic.
It was precisely because of his extreme seriousness that when the team lost to the bloody battle world 0:10, he became the first person to condemn himself. Liu Jiangqing could not forgive himself for causing the team to suffer huge humiliation, and fell into a terrible heart. The whirlpool of self-blame got out of hand, and without the need for external insults, he already felt guilty as a sinner of Mingyue Pavilion. After leaving the team, his temperament changed drastically and he became a surly weirdo.
She originally thought that as long as she changed her environment and put all her energy into work, she would be able to completely jump out of the whirlpool. But now Liu Jiangqing finally realized that trying to avoid the cowardice in her heart by diverting attention was delusional in itself. This kind of cowardice Like a sore, it rotted into his flesh and bone marrow over time, turning him into a pale waste, so desolate that he couldn't find himself.
"...I can't create a second Tianjiangming in two years, but I can create a waste. A waste is not qualified to talk about revenge. I give up." Liu Jiangqing typed this line heavily and suddenly felt a pain in her heart. , when he realized that the sore was hurting, he knew that he was really hopeless. The score result of 0:10 that year appeared again in his memory, and the people's curses and ridicules were also vivid in his mind, and the noise was loud. He got up and was so noisy that he held his head weakly and didn't want to listen anymore.
"Waste? What waste? Is it a missing arm or a broken leg?"
"..."
Liu Jiangqing raised her eyes and glanced at Heng Daoyijian's unreasonable complaints. She just smiled bitterly and still held her head with her hands uncomfortably, unable to say a word.
"You are two years older than me. You should be 5 years old now."
"Um……"
Liu Jiangqing typed out a word in response, not knowing what he wanted to say.
"At the age of 5, it is the golden age of professional players. It's a pity that I was GG before I lived. You know, one advantage of being in the game is that you have a lot of time to think. You don't have to eat, you don't have to There is nothing to disturb me when I sleep. So in the past few months, the question I have been thinking about the most is why God doesn’t allow me to possess a human body, instead of becoming a game character?”
Lu Yunqian trembled inwardly when she saw this text, and suddenly covered her mouth, and hot tears flowed down again, followed by the tears just now.
"I thought and thought, and finally came up with an answer. God probably also likes to play fierce battle, and he doesn't want the winner of the fierce battle to be mine in the next ten years, so he accepted me first. But I still have a younger sister to take care of, and I didn’t get the championship I promised my teammates, so why would I leave like this? So I struggled and said I didn’t want to die, I wanted to go back. God probably couldn’t overcome my stubborn temper, so he had to throw me into the hands of Hengdao Yijian. I can’t win the championship directly, but I can chat with Sissi in the game. Do you think it’s cheap?”
It was the first time that Liu Jiangqing saw a ghost complaining about his experiences like this. Liu Jiangqing was shocked and at the same time a little sad for Heng Daoyi Sword. He stared at the young swordsman in the game for a long time, with mixed feelings in his heart. It was hard to imagine what happened.
How much inner strength does it take to allow this student, who is two years younger than me, to face matters between life and death calmly and to tell them as easily as a story?
"Actually, having said so much, I just want to tell you one thing: whether I was alive or dead, I never thought of giving up the fierce battle. You now have the most enviable thing for me, but you say that you are a waste and want to give up.
, it really makes me look down on you from the bottom of my heart."
Liu Jiangqing's face was filled with shame as he looked at the large text flashing in the game. The noisy voice in his head gradually died away, almost to the point of being almost inaudible. He already understood the painstaking efforts that Hengdao Yijian put into arranging the three competitions.
, but I was completely unsure of who I was now, and I didn’t think there was a chance to return to the competitive circle. After hesitating for a while, I typed out what I had been thinking for many years.
"I envy me. Apart from this skin, all I have is the low self-esteem after being conceited. There is nothing to envy. The game at 0:10 was the only time I stumbled on something I was proud of. I was defeated.
It was a very serious blow. After I retired, many people thought that Mingyue Pavilion was unfair and thought that I hated Mingyue Pavilion. In fact, I did hate Mingyue Pavilion in the year I left, but later I discovered that I did not hate Mingyue Pavilion.
Mingyue Pavilion, but I am ashamed of Mingyue Pavilion."
"Mingyue Pavilion didn't do anything wrong. In that situation, I had become a loser. It was indeed a 'slump'. It was like a flash in the pan. My competitive ability was only a year old, and after that I was just an ordinary person.
Unlike you, people have inexhaustible self-confidence and strength, and can turn over on their own no matter what kind of adversity they encounter. You are the one I envy."
After Liu Jiangqing said these words, she unexpectedly did not feel embarrassed. Instead, her muscles and bones felt relaxed, as if a heavy burden had been lifted off her body. Her sores no longer hurt, and even her breathing became much easier. Looking at the screen just now
After sending out a large paragraph of text, he suddenly shook his head slightly. He couldn't believe that he had spoken out the things buried deep in his heart so easily. This had not happened in many years.
"So after you retired, you stayed away from the professional world and never joined any team again?" Heng Daoyijian asked.
"Yes." Liu Jiangqing smiled miserably and no longer covered it up, "I have seen through myself. I am indeed a waste. I am incapable of taking this road, so I won't go."
"Just in time, hey, did you see the words at my feet?" Heng Dao said with a sword.
Liu Jiangqing was startled and zoomed in on the foot of Hengdao Yijian. There was nothing but green grass leaves.
"No words." Liu Jiangqing replied truthfully.
"Professional waste collection, you can't see these five big words?" Heng Daoyijian said mischievously.
"..."
Liu Jiangqing was speechless. She just felt that this guy and his sister were so similar in terms of funny things. They were both so incredible.
"Whether waste is waste depends on what the person who collects it says. Waste itself cannot define itself as waste." Hengdao flashed a line of words again with his sword, "Come to the game at eight o'clock tomorrow morning, and I will personally identify you."