Chapter 50: The Subaru and the Witch, The Return of Death
When Subaru spoke intermittently, it probably sounded like he was stuttering.
However, the witch spent a long time listening intently to Subaru's clumsy words. She never interrupted or urged him once.
Only after Subaru lowered his head after quietly listening to the end and confirming that he had finished speaking, did he speak:
"——It's too much"
Three simple words, containing endless disgust
Her words made Subaru feel uneasy for a moment, and the footsteps she walked made the witch curse, making Subaru timid. However, seeing Subaru's reaction, Echidna shook her head and said:
"No, I'm sorry to misunderstand you. What I just said was not my feelings about what you said, but my anger at the existence that has put you through all kinds of suffering."
"The existence that made me go through all kinds of suffering..."
"——Jealous Witch"
Echidna approached and whispered, causing Subaru to stop moving.
Under the illusion that her body, breathing and even heartbeat had stopped, Echidna narrowed her dark eyes.
"You should have known a long time ago that the ability to resurrect the "dead" you and reverse the situation... No, this power that does not allow you to have the peace of "death" is undoubtedly "jealous"
ability"
"... Because many people have told me about the witch along the way. Although I have never met the witch directly, I can guess who it is from the "hand model" that appears every time."
When punishment for breaking a taboo is imposed, a shadowy woman appears in a world where time has stopped——
When the shadow inflicts pain as punishment, it will also caress Subaru with pity. At first, there was only one hand, but now you can see the outline of his hands and body, and he feels that the other person is getting closer and closer to him.
Every time "Death Return" is triggered, you will feel that you are getting closer to the tryst moment.
"I have absolutely no idea why she is so persistent with me. Do you know the reason?"
"Who knows, because it's not just me, no one else can understand "that" idea. Even if I really can understand it, I will reject it."
Echidna looked away and said bitterly. Her attitude made Subaru raise an eyebrow.
"You clearly said that you want to know everything in this world, but you don't include the "Jealous Witch". However, after all, you are the one who killed yourself, so it's no wonder..."
Echidna is a transcendent existence, placed in a realm that humans cannot reach.
Even the state where only the soul remains after death can create a world she calls the "Dream Castle". A witch who transcends human beings, like ordinary humans, will have personal feelings for others because of their likes and dislikes.
It felt like he had glimpsed her human side, and Subaru felt an inexplicable sense of closeness.
However, the person involved, Echidna, did not notice Subaru's emotion at all, but sighed:
"I think you are also full of hatred, but when it comes to "that" I feel bored, so let's talk about something else. If you have anything you want to ask, feel free to ask."
"Other things..."
Being asked to change the topic, Subaru fell into deep thought.
"For example, by the way, for example, the means to remove this power - the ability to impose never-ending suffering on you and make "death" come back again. Are you interested in knowing about this kind of topic?"
"... Even if there is such a method, it will only be a headache, and I have no interest in it."
Seeing that Subaru was speechless, the witch suggested, but Subaru shook his head without hesitation.
The ability to "return after death" does impose suffering on Subaru, but even so——
"Although the fire is strong, I need "death return". Without this, there will be many unattainable results, and there will be many people who cannot be saved."
"————"
"Without this ability, many people would not be saved, so I need it."
After saying that, Subaru once again realized that "Death Return" is his only weapon.
At the same time, something I want to ask arises spontaneously. It is an idea that has always been presented as a question.
"Echidna, do you think there is a limit to the number of times I can return to death?"
"...I see, this is a natural question."
Since coming to this world, Subaru has experienced more than ten "death" experiences.
After tasting pain and loss, Subaru used "death" to make the world come back. The fear he had every time he "deathed" was the natural feeling of doubting whether this was the last "death".
"Of course..."
Originally, "death" only happened once in a lifetime, but Subaru has subverted this rule many times.
Every time he died, Subaru experienced the despair of collapse halfway through achieving his goal.
——If you leave that feeling of despair until the end and everything will suddenly collapse, then "death" is such a terrifying thing.
That ability to blaspheme "death" gave Subaru so much hesitation——
"I would like to state first that this is just my speculation after all. I can only make general guesses about the principle of your power, so first of all I hope you will forgive me for giving a vague answer."
"...Okay, let me listen"
"Your "death return" is an ability that can be exerted under certain conditions, and the number of times is limited——"
Subaru held his breath, waiting for the answer
Echidna stared straight into his eyes, and the small gaps between each word and sentence seemed to last forever, making Subaru anxious and unbearable.
And the conclusion that makes people so anxious finally...
"—I'm afraid not."
"————"
"Your "death" has no end. No matter how many times you die or expire, your soul will go back to the previous time and force you to start over again until you defeat the fate that caused "death", no matter how miserable you were when you were killed.
, no matter how much your body and mind are defeated, you will come back again.”
Before understanding Echidna's conclusion, Subaru's mind was once occupied by a blank space, and then he stuffed the conclusion into the open blank space, grinding it down bit by bit, infiltrating it, and understanding it.
After reaching this point, the words finally came out with trembling breaths.
"——Like this, ah"
"I didn't expect you to accept it so calmly."
"The response was weak and I didn't comply with your preferences? I'm really sorry."
Subaru smiled bitterly, and finally returned to a mental state that allowed him to smile bitterly. With a bitter smile, Subaru let his thoughts revolve around the "death return" that the witch confirmed to be unlimited times.
In Subaru's vision, that was the best conclusion, but——
"——Strictly speaking, there is no limit on the number of times. What are the "specific conditions" you are talking about?"
"...Although it is very annoying, the power that allows you to "return after death" comes from the witch's persistence. As long as the witch's persistence is not broken, you cannot refuse "death" - I just don't know if you have that chance."
"You obviously don't even know the reason for being attached? It's not surprising that you were suddenly abandoned."
"That's absolutely impossible to happen, don't you feel that way?"
Faced with the teasing tone, Subaru couldn't reply. In fact, it was an inexplicable feeling of conviction.
The witch who did not allow Subaru to "die" also did not allow herself to let go of Subaru. That baseless absolute certainty was like a wedge driven deep into the depths of Subaru's being.
"...What is this ability for? What do you think?"
"The ability to prevent you from dying and the ability not to allow you to make mistakes"
"What is the purpose of the witch... Why did the "Jealous Witch" give me this ability? Maybe you hate to imagine, but do you know? The meaning of my ability."
Subaru spoke faster and faster, feeling frightened by the strange certainty that filled his mind.
Echidna frowned as she saw Subaru gradually losing his calm attitude.
"——I don't know what you are afraid of. What is so scary?"
"I'm afraid? Yes, very afraid! I'm very afraid! What I'm afraid of is..."
Echidna's scalpel named "Curiosity" mercilessly cut open Subaru's affected part named "Fear". After the cut, what flowed out instead of blood was the sticky feeling stuck deep in the chest.
Fear, regret, uneasiness, lamentation, and negative emotions overflowed all at once
"Even if I die, I can come back... I don't want to become someone who relies on this and doesn't care how many times I die. Although I don't want to be like this... but if I can only rely on this, then I can only rely on it, but
——”
Even if there is no limit to the number of "deaths", the witch's shadow that is gradually taking shape will confront Subaru sooner or later.
Moreover, "return of death" is not a panacea, and it can also leave irreversible situations.
"——I can't save everyone, including Rem."
Subaru's only weapon, "Death Return", cannot save Rem
"Why can't we save Rem? If "Death Return" gives me the ability to correct my fate, why should I be returned to a place of no return...!"
"Is that the source of your fear? It is both the source of regret and the basis of desire."
He clenched his hands until his nails dug into his flesh, and the sound of Subaru gritting his teeth made Echidna narrow her eyes.
Hearing the witch's words, Subaru raised his head, his two pairs of black eyes intertwined, and the witch said:
"I'm going to tell you something even crueler next."
With this as a prelude, the witch continued to speak to Subaru, who had a stiff expression.
"——"That" doesn't care about the fate of the girl you regret not saving."
"——!"
"What "that" wants is to prevent you from being stuck in the dead end of destiny. Power is the means created for this. I have never thought about anyone other than you and want to use that power to save other people.
What you are running for from beginning to end is yourself and your own expectations. This part... has nothing to do with the "Jealousy Witch"
"ah……"
"So, let me explain it clearly again."
Subaru has been shocked, but Echidna continues to talk about cruelty
Doing this is necessary for Subaru now. The witch composed of white and black closed her eyes for a moment, with an expression of holding back the pain, and then her black pupils illuminated Subaru again.
"In the future, no matter how many obstacles there are, you will definitely be able to open the road to destiny through unlimited challenges. However, if you are allowed to use many sacrifices to change your destiny..."
"——Then, I will never have the chance to recover what was sacrificed."
"...That's it"
Echidna asserted that the only thing the "Jealous Witch" cares about is Subaru's fate.
As long as Subaru can overcome the fate of "death", then everything else is insignificant.
She believes that no matter how hopeless the situation seems, unlimited challenges can allow Subaru to break his destiny
Then one day, the shadow that gets darker each time will finally take shape, and the two of them will meet again——
"——Okay, if you want to do this and only favor me, then I've decided."
"————"
"The "Death Return" you gave me, this favor... I will use it to my satisfaction."
When he finally arrives in front of the witch, he will not miss anyone or anything. Subaru wants to show her
"Okay, it's decided, I've made up my mind - when it comes to betraying others, I'm the best in the world."
Speculation turned into certainty, anger ignited consciousness and determination, Natsuki Subaru rose up
Since "Death Return" doesn't save people and things except Subaru, then Subaru will save everyone and things except himself.
If the witch doesn't care, then Subaru does, and he won't hesitate to use the witch's love to do so
Care, care so much, hold on tightly, accumulate, cross over, carry on one shoulder
——If it can be done, it will be the first time that Natsuki Subaru takes revenge on the "Jealous Witch"
"...It's so easy to get back on your feet. It's so foolhardy of you to encounter such a desperate situation."
"It's not easy for me to get back on my feet. If it were like before, I might have to try my best to tape up my broken heart now, but..."
"————"
"Huh? What's wrong? But what? What's next? Hey, what's the next sentence?"
"You must know that and still ask like this, right...?"
Echidna was in a good mood and was chatty and urging. Subaru smacked his lips impatiently. Even this move was guessed. The witch had indeed seen through everything.
I was able to confess, and someone listened to me. Echidna's existence was a great salvation.
But Subaru would never say these things directly to her.
"All in all! Your opinions are worth reference. It also helped me to realize my enlightenment. I want to say thank you in advance."
"That's it? That's all you want to thank me for? Oh, why is it like this?"
"It's so noisy! Shut up! That's all! Move on to the next topic!"
Roaring at the nagging witch, Subaru roughly sat back on his chair.
Then, looking up at the dissatisfied witch, she continued:
"Please, lend me your wisdom, I can only rely on you."
"It's really convenient. Although I say this, as the host of the tea party, I think I have fully entertained you. If you want to ask me for more..."
"I know, I said at the beginning of my oath that I will pay whatever price is required, so this is also included. Please help me."
Putting his hands on his knees, Subaru bowed deeply. Of course, if this was not enough, he would be willing to kneel down and kowtow. Self-esteem has no value at this time.
In order to defeat the witch's intention, and relying on the witch's wisdom - this is the best plan to save everyone.
"————"
Looking down at Subaru who was bowing his head to ask for help, Echidna was silent for a moment.
However, not long after, a voice from the side broke the silence
"...it seems like you guys had a good chat."
Yuexing, who came back from the side, raised the corners of her mouth and smiled.