"No." Yuchen seemed not to want to say more, but when he looked into my tearful eyes, he frowned and said in a compromising tone, "It's exactly the opposite of what you think."
Quite the opposite? What does that mean?
I thought Yuchen didn't love me anymore because of these memories. On the contrary, it means that he loves me more. Since he loves me more, why does he alienate me? Isn't this contradictory?
I looked at him puzzled, "Why on earth did you alienate me?"
"Because I'm afraid," Yuchen raised his hand to hold my face, gently pinched the corners of my eyes with his thumb, and scraped away the tears from my eyes. He said, "Lin Xi, I'm afraid that I won't be able to control the desire in my heart and hurt you.
"
Yuchen said, he was here for all the nine lives that Yun Ling and I reincarnated. Unlike Yun Ling and me, he has always been alone, no matter how hard he works or how much he wants to hold on to the people around him.
, his final end was betrayal and separation from his relatives.
Those memories flooded into his brain and were mixed with his own memories, which occasionally gave him the illusion that his current happiness was unreal.
When he first developed this feeling, he liked to stick to me, and the real touch of me made him feel at ease. But at that time, Fu Lian was training him and teaching me spells. The two of us were separated.
Hearing him say that he was feeling uneasy, my heart suddenly felt stinging. I asked him distressedly, "Why didn't you tell me?"
After asking, I realized that I was too careless. There were some things that he didn't say that I should have thought of.
Some people have childhood shadows, and when they grow up, they will have nightmares when they think about it. What's more, what Yuchen recalled was the memory of the ninth life, which was like a swamp, dragging him into the abyss of the swamp again after finally landing.
No matter how determined his mind is, he still has to go through a process of acceptance and digestion. But we didn't give him this time, we kept asking him to become stronger.
Something happened to Fu Lian, something happened to the Feng clan, something happened to Yun Ling, everything happened to him, asking him to take the lead. We were so used to relying on him, but we all forgot that his essence was destroyed, and he had just integrated into the new society.
In the body. At first he couldn't even control this body, and his memory was still confused. He didn't need us to do anything for him, he just needed time!
"Stop crying." Seeing that my eyes were red again, Yuchen wiped my tears and said, "I didn't say anything at that time because I thought it was nothing. I can still clearly distinguish between reality and memories."
Yuchen was very rational. Although memories came to him like a flood, he was not too affected by the memories at that time. He could still distinguish clearly, until one day in Fu Lian's Dharma, he killed the golden dragon.
, the person lay on the ground and fell asleep extremely exhausted.
He had a dream. He dreamed that I was wearing a bright red wedding dress, standing in front of the window of the boudoir. Outside the window was a peach tree, with pink and white peach blossoms in full bloom. The breeze blew, and the petals fell lightly.
.
He stood under the peach tree and looked at me in the window. Feng Guan Xia Pei was as beautiful as he had ever seen. At that moment, he was still wondering whether dreaming of such a scene was a hint to him that he owed me
A wedding?
At this moment, 'I' seemed to have discovered him, my eyes shone with joy, and I raised my hand to greet him.
Yuchen pursed his lips and smiled softly, feeling very satisfied. He also raised his hand and was about to say hello to 'me' when he suddenly heard 'I' call out sweetly, "Yun Ling!"
Yuchen was stunned on the spot.
Yun Ling, dressed in a groom's outfit, ran over from behind him, climbed through the window, and embraced 'me'.
Then he woke up with a start.
After waking up, he found that he was the only one around, and he was covered in injuries. Yuchen had nothing to do with vulnerability, but at this moment, his environment overlapped with the memories that kept popping up during this period.
, making him somewhat confused as to whether his situation had never changed and he was still alone. About me, it was just a delusion of his.
After a while, his chaotic brain regained consciousness, and he became the rational Yuchen again. Reality and memories were clearly separated, but the fear that had penetrated deep into his bones lingered.
Later, he heard me calling him. He ran over and found me lying alone in the passage, surrounded by blood, and Fu Lian was missing.
I knew that he found me and took me back to the Demon King's Palace. What I didn't know was that the moment he found me and saw me lying in a pool of blood, he suddenly had an idea, that is
Take me away, hide me, let me belong to him alone.
Of course, his reason did not allow him to do such a thing, but the more memories he recalled, the stronger his thoughts became.
He used to be domineering and possessive, but he never had the idea of imprisoning me. Now he knows that his idea is very dangerous, and he is controlling his desires, so he doesn't want to, but he doesn't dare to be too far away from me.
Near, he was afraid that he would lose control.
He is paranoid and restless. He has been in the darkness for too long. When he sees a little light, he wants to take the light as his own. This light can only be his own salvation. If the light cannot do it, he must
If you try to shine light on others, you will extinguish the light and fall into darkness together.
He would rather destroy the redemption he couldn't get with his own hands than give it to others! This is what he is thinking now. He knows it is wrong, and he is controlling it and working hard to change it.
After saying everything, he saw that I was stunned. Yuchen's eyes were a little panicked, and he looked into my eyes and said, "Lin Xi, don't be afraid, I just need time. When I sort out the memories of the past, I won't have this problem again."
I have this idea. I can control myself and won’t hurt you.”
I shook my head, feeling so distressed that I almost suffocated, "Yuchen, I'm sorry..."
I'm sorry, I didn't know you had such a mental journey. Nine generations of loneliness is just a word to me, but to Yuchen it is a series of suffocating memories. If possible, I would rather Yuchen had not recovered
Past life memories.
He just needs to be Yuchen. The demons in his heart and the war in heaven are not his responsibility. Why should he endure torture just to settle these things!
"Yuchen, I'm not afraid of you."
Of course I believe that he is sensible enough and can control his behavior, otherwise he would not be able to bring Yun Ling back after having such emotions.
I held his face with both hands, stood on tiptoes, and kissed his lips gently.
Yuchen's body stiffened for a moment, and he subconsciously wanted to push me away, but I stopped him. My body was close to him, and my lips touched his, "Yuchen, I love you, I am yours alone, you
You can do whatever you want to me."
Yuchen's Adam's apple rolled and his voice was hoarse, "Lin Xi, I'm not joking with you. You'd better stay away from me. Give me some time and I will deal with the trouble these memories bring to me. When I recover, we will be like each other again.
Same as before."
"I don't." I refused decisively, "Yuchen, you are no longer alone. You have me. You don't have to deal with everything by yourself and endure it alone. Yuchen, I will
By your side, I will help you...well!"
Before I could finish speaking, Yuchen lowered his head and sealed my lips.
The eagerness and force of his kiss, and the restraint and patience he had spent during this period were indulged at this moment.
I had a feeling that he wanted to take me here regardless. I felt a little panicked and my mouth still hurt. When I was hesitating whether to push him away, Hu Jinyue's voice suddenly came over.
"Oh my God!" Hu Jinyue shouted, "aren't you two out to kill people? Why are you chewing on it? There are corpses all over the yard, and some of them didn't close their eyes after they died. Don't you two feel the chill around you?