I looked back at the big word "Public Security" written under the badge that was filled with awe-inspiring righteousness. Thinking about my previous experiences, I didn't believe that I was a savior...
"Let me go! What are you doing?! I'm really not a psycho!!"
At first, when several people in police uniforms walked towards me, I thought they were just on my way. But when they came up and restrained me so tightly that I couldn't move, I realized... something serious was going on.
Got it!
I heard the police officer sneer: "Okay, okay, you're not crazy, that's what everyone says anyway."
Then they really tortured me like a hairy crab and took me back to the police station to confirm my identity. In fact, I quite understood them. After all, mentally ill people kill without blinking an eye! (And they didn’t pay with their lives). But I
Still have to say: It’s not easy for hairy crabs to live so big, so why bother?
#The point is not the hairy crabs!#
But I'm not afraid of being sent to a mental hospital. After all, this was just a coincidence from the beginning...
"It just so happened" that a mentally ill person escaped from the Daqingshan Mental Hospital two days ago, and "it just so happened" that this person looked quite similar to me!
It's not a big deal if we look alike. There are so many people who look alike in this world. At this time, I just need to get my ID card to prove that I am me and everything will be fine.
But here’s the problem…I don’t have an ID card!
——Why didn’t anyone tell me that everyone needs to get an ID card!?
#This person must have traveled through another world...#
So in order to prove that I am who I am, I talked with this guy from idealism to the core values of socialism, and then from materialism to the basic content of Marx’s thought... It finally proved that I am Li Shifei, not a psycho!
orz
When I left the police station, I held an ID card in my hand. It felt like I was in another world. I wrote a poem - "I haven't thought about the title of the poem."
I have never had a hard time studying, and I only love playing online games.
The police from the Public Security Bureau came and found out it was me today.
…
Walking on the path to the vegetable market, I couldn't help but have a lot of thoughts. With the lessons learned from the past, I didn't dare to walk on a busy road like a pedestrian street...
And Rin... this little girl is really obedient. After listening to my "Don't watch the ending directly", she really devoted herself to anime. Even when I was forcibly taken away by the police, she didn't even look at me!
Seeing her smile because she saw something wonderful, I couldn't help but reach out and touch her little head, her black hair was soft.
She looked at me with a strange look, and then turned her attention to the screen of her mobile phone.
He actually ignored me...
But even so, I am still very happy. Even if I make strange moves on the street and be regarded as mentally ill; even if I am misunderstood and sent to the police station; even if I am ignored by you... I am still very happy, because...
It’s great that you like the second dimension!
"Don't look too close, you'll become shortsighted."
In fact, it’s not bad to go out for a walk occasionally...
Before I knew it, I had reached the vegetable market and had a casual stroll around. I was very ashamed to find that... I didn't even recognize half of the stuff...
Forget it, just buy whatever you want. I don’t know how to cook anyway, so I’ll buy it and learn slowly.
Me: "Auntie, how do you sell these chopped green onions?"
Auntie: "This is a leek..."
I:"……"
#"people"
It’s so annoying to be a human being,
to breathe,
Want to eat,
I have to update all day long,
So annoying,
If there is a next life,
Just be a plankton.#
Soon enough, at the same time that I wrote a modern poem in my mind, I quickly left Auntie's stall and walked around half of the market to another stall.
"Uncle, how do you sell chopped green onions?" I confirmed again and again and finally dared to speak.
"Fifty cents a handful."
"It's too expensive, two and a half cents!"
One of the best ways to bargain: cut the price in half!
The uncle's depressed eyes widened crazily, obviously shocked by my momentum. Hum, I am indeed the savior!
"Well, I'm not short of these few dollars, just Sanmao!" Through the look in his eyes that he inadvertently showed, I had figured out his psychological price, and successfully led the rhythm of this transaction! In other words
, I have already won half the battle.
The second great bargaining method: Observe your words and pay more attention!
The uncle's eyes became calm. I'm afraid he has never met someone who is as proficient in bargaining as me. He smiled bitterly and said, "You must buy one for three cents?"
"must."
"What if I don't give it to you?"
"You can try it!"
Silence, deathly silence.
After a long while, he raised his eyes and looked at me, gritted his teeth and said, "Okay! I'll give you a handful of three cents, but don't mention it to outsiders!"
I laughed, knowing that I won this battle completely.
Then, under the uncle's disbelieving gaze, I took out... my mobile phone from my pocket!
What? Why not money, you ask...
Wait, you, what did you say? Money? Cash? So it seems that the uncle’s stall really doesn’t have a QR code...
——Why didn’t anyone tell me that I need cash when I go out to buy something?!
#Aren’t these... common sense?#
...Moving in transition...
Standing at the door of the bank, I decided to take back what I said before. I never want to go out again in my life!
After taking the number, I found that there were more than ten people in line in front of me. I had no choice but to wait slowly. So I pulled Rin over and stood and watched the show with her. I’m not bragging, but if you have anime to watch, there was someone in front of you.
Ten thousand people will line up to show you!
Then... everyone in the bank saw a young man grinning non-stop at the security guard at the door...
After watching an episode of anime, I felt refreshed and stretched out comfortably. Then I noticed everyone’s gazes and the strange look in the security guard’s eyes...
What...what did I do!?
I feel as if something called "morality" has been broken in my heart. Now...in the eyes of others, I am already a pervert...
That being the case!
I resolutely raised my proud head, winked at the security guard, and walked towards the counter without looking back...
No matter what you do, do it the best! - This is my motto!
Since you are considered a pervert, then be the most perverted pervert you can be!
#Don’t break the jar and throw it!#
"Hello sir, what kind of service do you want? Withdraw money or deposit money?" The teller lady gave me a professional and sweet smile.
And I responded with a face that was uglier than crying: "Withdraw, withdraw money..."
"Okay, how much do you want to withdraw? If it's less than 20,000, please go to the ATM... Sir, don't cry, can't I withdraw it for you?"
"Thank you, thank you..."
It turns out that the machine at the door is called an ATM; it turns out that the ATM is used to withdraw money...
——Why didn’t anyone tell me!!!
#So isn’t this common sense?#
Shut up!!!
"Then sir, how much do you want to take?"
Two hundred and five, I think there is no better number that can describe my state of mind at this moment. So, in the dumbfounded eyes of the teller lady... maybe some smart readers have already guessed it... That's right! I took out my mobile phone again!
Um?
——Why didn’t anyone tell me to use a bank card to withdraw money?!
#So this is not normal...#
Chang your mother!! Gua!!
PS: Li Shifei is so impatient that he has lost his mind. Please don’t imitate him.