July 11, 2021, is a special day for me. Amidst the twists and turns, "I'm Just a Little Person" has already celebrated its second anniversary in serialization on this day. It is actually untrue to say that it is the second anniversary of serialization. After all, there are frequent...
There have been interruptions and updates, and the story line has only progressed to about 30% of what I expected, but, no matter what.
The book turned two years old that day.
First of all, thank you readers. No matter when or where you started reading it, this move has inadvertently become one of my pillars. "Little People" can be selected by 8 stations and reach millions of reads. All of this is
It’s all thanks to you. Then I would like to thank all the friends who support me in my serialization: NZ75 pigeons, gic, and all the readers who communicate with me... Their many suggestions have benefited me a lot. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, from the bottom of my heart
I feel very lucky to have had such an experience.
Secondly, I need to apologize to everyone who is still paying attention to Jiang Yan's story. To be honest, the updates have been so frequent during this period, and the whole story has had a great impact on your perception. I am here
I apologize to everyone. Another thing I need to apologize for is that I myself cannot guarantee when I will be able to continue stable serialization and column writing. I am deeply sorry for being so ineffective and causing trouble to you.
, this is my dereliction of duty as a writer.
I promised all my readers and fans to explain the causes and consequences behind this, and I will fulfill this promise today.
Some friends who have been following me for a long time may know that I completed the college entrance examination last year. Despite the twists and turns, I finally managed to climb to the first level. I was full of joy and thought that the college entrance examination would open a door to another for me.
A door to a way of life, and in fact it did it, but the scene behind it was really far from what I imagined. This was the result of my lack of determination.
If I had been able to stick to my goals and choose the university, I might not have chosen this situation that I can only accept. But the reality is that there is no what if. My original academic goals are completely inconsistent with the current ones. I have known it for a long time, but I thought
There is another pillar in my life: writing. The last pillar was interrupted by a completely unexpected college life, and even the fragments were mixed into a mess. And when I aimed at studying, I could only get a pass that was not satisfactory.
It’s a result that doesn’t even count.
The things I believed in seemed so unfavorable in this trend - this reality made me confused for a time. I tried to regroup and set goals for myself at the beginning of the year, but this was disrupted again. The past scene seemed to be replayed.
The same thing was playing out in front of me. When I started to escape from my original perspective due to an accident, I was shocked to realize that I was as ridiculous as a monkey who kept picking up sesame seeds and throwing watermelons.
But there is no way to change this ridiculousness.
My mental state began to become extremely dangerous, and insomnia became the norm. I often woke up unexpectedly to face repetitive and boring mornings, and then I was like a walking zombie, just breathing without being interested in anything.
The physiological effects also began to be beyond my control - my appetite disappeared, and in most cases I would only eat normally once a day, and such eating was what my rationality forced me to do. When I finally realized that my
When reason reminded me that something was wrong, the situation already gave my instincts a signal of danger.
But thankfully, my head teacher communicated with me and helped me seek psychological help. We clarified the situation and began to make preparations. After experiencing some unpleasant things, my family finally
He understood my current situation and started to stand on the same front as me. In this way, things began to turn around - I took a leave of absence from school in about mid-May. Soon after, after a relevant examination by a psychiatrist, my
The anxiety and insomnia symptom scores exceed the severe level, and are accompanied by mild depression symptoms. Please allow me to keep some privacy. In short, after diagnosis, I am suspected of suffering from some kind of mental illness.
And I don’t know when it will be cured. This is still unknown to me. My insomnia is still serious, and occasionally the medicine can’t seem to stop the voices in my head. It’s not that I haven’t tried, but during this period I briefly reset and then it came back again.
Stop writing, I really can't use this kind of thinking to deal with the story that I value so much and the bond with you all.
Just like Jiang Shao - I think - challenges and misfortunes always appear at unexpected times and are unreasonable. I am not Jiang Shao, let alone one of those so-called superheroes, but in this, there are tears and scars mixed in.
, I understand that I need to face them. Everyone has his or her battle, and now it's mine, and I can't give up.
Since I dropped out of school, I have tried various methods to get out of this situation. I have looked for part-time jobs, I have tried to go out, I have met with my friends online, and I have also tried to broadcast live to communicate with you to get psychological support and
Soothing, but it seems to be ineffective so far. Thanks to many friends, including NZ, who have been helping me find solutions and comforting me, so that I can keep trying. It is precisely because of this help that I
You know, it's far from time to stop.
The battle is still going on. This is my battle. Before I defeat my weak self, I promise you that I will not admit defeat.
It was you who gave me courage, and all I can give you in return for this courage is some of my own feelings.
No matter where you are, whether you have entered society or are still on campus, whether you are dissatisfied with the status quo or confused, please do not despair. Because impermanence is the norm, and there are always more ups and downs in life than joy. Life continues.
I will encounter difficulties and blows like this. I am sad about this, but I will not be discouraged by it.
Because, even if the pain is meaningless, we still need to experience it to find our own answers. This is life, the path of every soul, and a battle that only belongs to you. If you are tired, if you are hurt, just cry.
This is not shameful.
What we are looking for is something called "courage". If I stop fighting somewhere, don't worry.
I am just reloading.
And after a long break, I finally want to take the step of selling again:
On September 1st, we started again.
Although everything is not going smoothly, I am afraid that there will be various trivial matters that will disturb things after the update is resumed, but it is not an option to remain stagnant like this.
If you are interested, please continue to pay attention, thank you very much.