Today's test papers have been updated. I have been in a bad mood these past two days, and I want to adjust for one more day to ensure the quality of my writing. My current mentality cannot write good content.
I reflected on it yesterday and found that my failures in work and life are caused by my personality flaws. I am the kind of person who thinks too linearly and in a stereotyped manner, and can only engage in stereotyped work with the exact same process. Once the work requires flexibility and changes
, there must be something wrong. In the past, I also lacked care and observation about the things I didn't like and the surrounding environment, and I didn't communicate enough with others, which ultimately led to my complete failure in social interaction.
In reality, I have never been able to fit into any social circles since I was a child. When I was a student, I was always known to the whole school as an alien who was hated by gods and ghosts. This is also the case in the workplace now.
If others write themselves into their own novels, they will be majestic (such as Douluo Dalu, Yangshen, and Infinite Horror), but I always file and write how I want. I just try my best to self-abuse in my works, and I will abuse myself as much as I want.
This makes me feel more comfortable because I have extremely low self-esteem.
This is also one of the reasons why I failed in love, because my posture was too low when I was in love. Later I saw on Zhihu that men’s posture is too low and they have too low self-esteem when they are in love, and girls can see it. Men
You may fall in love with women who have a humble attitude, but women will never be like this. This is why most men who lick dogs do not die well. Of course, another reason for failure should also be the many fallacies in my way of life, although my emotional intelligence is compared to
I was a lot taller when I was a student, but my rigid thinking restricted me in normal social interactions. I guess the other person would think that I could never be flexible and adapt to changes. I could only say one step before doing another, and it took a long time.
I guess I'm tired of it.
I want to reflect on myself.
I've become so self-loathed that I feel like I shouldn't have been born.
There is no doubt that one thing is for sure. I am a highly mentally unhealthy person. I have even been to a mental health center for testing, and I even doubted whether I was mildly depressed.
Now, I have only one goal, which is to write a high-quality novel that even attracts tens of thousands of orders. I don’t know if I can do it in this life.
I'm trying.
I want to spend my life looking for the social and self-identity that I am missing.
