Chapter 6 Yan Xiaoliu and the New World's Experiment Begins
"The divine staff protects you and slays evil spirits to avoid them!"
"The divine staff protects you and slays evil spirits to avoid them!"
"The divine staff protects you and slays evil spirits to avoid them!"
Accompanied by the whispering of God, a young man dressed as a soldier in a gray coiled-collared robe crossed his left and right legs and stepped forward, jumping and jumping comically into the door.
He held a jet black wooden staff over half a foot long in his hand. He jumped with his steps and swung the wooden staff several times into the secret room, just like a witch performing a great dance.
Wu Ma remembered that there were indeed witches during the Sui and Tang Dynasties.
There were a few witches who caused a lot of trouble, some instigated rebellion, and some used witchcraft to cause chaos in the palace. They were very powerful.
Wu Ma didn't know if the man in front of him was related to the witch, but the dark wooden staff in his hand really gave off a breathtaking aura, which was very likely to threaten his life, so he lay on the ground with the gray snake.
, not daring to move at all.
The light from outside the door came in, and Wu Ma could clearly see that the man had two dark circles on his face and looked tired.
The man looked around for a while and heard someone outside saying, "Yan Xiaoliu, have you seen a ghost?"
The man named Yan Xiaoliu waved his wooden stick toward the door, "I saw your grandpa."
"Do you really want to fight?"
"Afraid of you?"
Yan Xiaoliu's face turned red, and he waved his wooden stick to walk out. As soon as he took one foot out, he suddenly felt dizzy, and his body staggered and he almost fell to the ground.
After stabilizing his body, he seemed to have remembered something. He froze in the air with a wooden stick in his hand, and finally said:
"There's nothing in there..."
As he said that, he put down the wooden stick and said, "Not even a fart."
"Then let's watch some football. Come out quickly. This room is very evil. I'll feel bad all over after just one sip."
"oh……"
Yan Xiaoliu was about to close the door.
not good!
The dancing horse driving the gray snake raised its head, retracted its tail suddenly, rushed forward with all its strength, and got out the moment the door closed.
Then he saw Yan Xiaoliu, who had just entered, and another man dressed similarly, standing side by side at the door.
The gray undershirts they wore were wide and rough, and they fit them realistically. They were not like the exquisite props in some movies that exude a modern atmosphere.
"Look at how realistic it is. If all movies were made like this, the ticket price would not be in vain."
Wu Ma looked at the two guards for a while, and then looked up again. The room where he was locked up was not very big, but the gray tiles and hooked eaves were neat and stretched, which was quite elegant.
The house originally had windows covered with white paper. But there was no light at all in the secret room, so I guessed that there was probably another wall built from the inside of the house.
The dancing horse turned its head, and to the south was a rather spacious courtyard planted with some potted flowers and plants. There was a lush tree in the middle, and high bluestone walls were erected on both sides.
The courtyard looked eerie.
To the south of the courtyard is a tall and imposing building, with flying tiles sloping down from the top, majestic red walls, and grandeur, a bit like the grandeur and grandeur of architecture in the Sui and Tang Dynasties.
Dancing Horse looked around and thought that there were only two guards in the yard. As long as they were taken care of, escaping would not be a dream.
But there is no good way to do it exactly.
The dancing horse and the gray snake were crawling around in the yard, and it suddenly occurred to him that since his consciousness could leave his body, he had truly entered a fantasy world.
So, do the techniques of controlling people with magic, seducing people's hearts, and seizing people's nests, which are only found in fairy novels, also really exist?
"It's totally possible to do an experiment."
"right,"
Wu Ma felt a little excited,
"I am a time traveler with high IQ from the 21st century.
I have received higher education, learned Newton's first law, and the theory of relativity. I should abandon feudal superstition and use scientific methods to draw scientific conclusions."
You know, in a world where zombies and monsters are rampant, although Wu Ma always walks on the edge of life and death, he also takes a lot of time to carry out scientific experiments——
Specifically, he captured the corpses, dissected them, put the dying ghosts in Coca-Cola bottles, stuffed them into the toilet, and put them in the microwave.
He soaked the rotten and smelly green brains of the corpse monster, like tofu brains, into boiled water, cola, sprite, white vinegar, white wine, concentrated hydrochloric acid, lime water and urine.
etc……
It was his long-term and persistent scientific experiments that allowed him to draw many precise conclusions about ghouls and corpse monsters.
For example, even if the toilet lid is sealed, a ghoul can escape into the sewer; a freshly baked ghoul heated in a microwave oven will be covered in steam at first, and will turn into a hard lump after a while.
For another example, the corpse monster is not afraid of aqua regia and is at home in a vinegar jar, but it is very afraid of monkey urine.
That’s why before the time travel, the dancing horse had a military water bottle pinned to his waist for a long time, but he never refused to unscrew the cap and drink water.
Of course, there are also times when you are particularly thirsty.
When Wu Ma thought that there was a fresh, steaming experiment waiting for him, the entire gray snake trembled with excitement.
Unfortunately, when he observed his body just now, he found that the notebook he had always carried in his arms did not seem to follow him into this world.
There are many important experimental results and analytical conclusions recorded in that book.
"It's a shame to lose it."
Without a notebook, it is impossible to record the experimental conditions on site. Without the process of taking notes, I always feel that something is missing, which makes me feel a little uncomfortable.
However, it can be completely replenished after the dancing horse is out of trouble.
"I have to make do with it for now."
Wu Ma thought about it and concluded that the first step in the experiment should be to make preliminary contact with the experimental subject.
But how to ensure that gray snakes will not be in danger when they come into contact with the human body?
Is it possible that there is something similar to gray mist in Yan Xiaoliu's body?
In this seemingly unusual world, everything is uncertain.
The red light emitted from the secret room door made Dancing Horse more alert.
"Therefore, when the gray mist comes into contact with the human body, it should be done very lightly, and the risks that may arise from the experiment should be controlled."
The dancing horse picked up the gray snake's tail and gently tapped Yan Xiaoliu's forehead.
It feels a little hot to the touch.
Wu Ma could clearly feel almost every hair on Yan Xiaoliu's skin, which was dense but soft and motionless in the gray mist.
Yan Xiaoliu's skin is a little dry and dehydrated, and it is most likely that he is angry.
Gray fog met Yan Xiaoliu, but Yan Xiaoliu himself showed no reaction.
This led Wu Ma to come to a conclusion——
Human contact seems to have no effect on the fog.
"Then continue the experiment boldly."
In the second step of the experiment, the dancing horse controlled the gray snake's tail and swung it towards the soles of Yan Xiaoliu's feet like a whip.
As soon as the snake's tail passed through, Dancing Horse felt a rush of heat, as if his fingers were sliding across a shallow pool of hot water in the basin.
The snake's tail left the sole of the foot, and the warmth quickly disappeared.
It did not trigger any reaction from Yan Xiaoliu.
Then, the dancing horse rode the snake's tail and whipped Yan Xiaoliu from top to bottom, from the calves, thighs, thighs, waist, and chest, all the way to Yan Xiaoliu's neck and head.
"It's settled this time. There should be no danger."
"Yes, time travelers should maintain such a scientific and rigorous spirit of exploration."
Next, Dancing Horse plans to play a big game...
The third step of the experiment - the dancing horse controlled the gray snake and penetrated into Yan Xiaoliu's temple. The dancing horse's sight fell into darkness for a moment, and then a feeling of suffocation quickly came, as if someone had pinched his throat.
.
After a while, the feeling of suffocation disappeared, and he soon found that he was perceiving the world inside Yan Xiaoliu's head in another way. It was humid, hot, and slightly suffocating.
He could detect the rapid flow of blood and feel the invisible fluid surging along a winding path in the gray mist.
This is an indescribable feeling, a bit like a person who can't swim falling into the water. At first he felt that he was drowning, but soon he found that his pores seemed to be able to breathe in the water, although it was not particularly comfortable.
, but at least he can't drown.
After adapting to the world inside the skull, the dancing horse drove the gray snake Yan Xiaoliu to drill through the eyes, nose, ears, mouth, throat, and brain, not sparing any key points on the body.
When Yan Xiaoliu first entered his head, his body trembled very slightly and quickly, but he didn't seem to notice it at all. He just looked up at the sky in confusion.
"It seems that things like seizing a person's soul or seizing a body are quite nonsense."
Sure enough, all the spells in fantasy novels are lies.
The dancing horse swirled around in Yan Xiaoliu's head, and he couldn't help but sigh.
I was about to try another person when I suddenly heard Yan Xiaoliu say to another guard:
"Why are you sighing?"
"Who sighed?"
The guard said, his body suddenly shook, and he looked around, "I told you not to go in... you just didn't listen."
Yan Xiaoliu glanced at him, his disdainful expression flashed away, and replied:
"Maybe I'm deaf."
Yan Xiaoliu said, turning around and picking at his own ears, and pulled out a large piece of yellow earwax.
The guard came over to take a look and frowned, "With such a big man, no wonder——"
"Don't blame it,"
Yan Xiaoliu looked at his earwax, which was oily and yellow, and knew that he had been anxious for the past two days and hadn't slept well, which made him angry.
He shook his head and flicked the earwax away, "I've been too nervous these past two days."
The guard rolled his eyes at him, "It's a big deal."
As he spoke, he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes.
After a while, I started to tremble all over again, "This damn house is so evil."
He quickly left the wall and leaned against the tree trunk nearby. He was about to close his eyes and rest his mind when he suddenly saw the dark wooden stick in Yan Xiaoliu's hand. He felt irritated and frowned:
"You put that thing further away."
"what?"
"Uncomfortable," the guard raised his chin in disgust at the wooden stick, "Don't you think it's spooky?"
As he said that, he looked around and saw that there was no one nearby. He lowered his voice and said, "This thing seems to be sucking human blood. In the past few days, our brothers on duty have felt that something is wrong. They are feeling listless every day.
I’ll feel dizzy after standing for a long time.”
Yan Xiaoliu was shocked and said after a while: "That's nonsense."
The guard said: "No one on duty has touched this thing in the past two days. Didn't you see it?"
Yan Xiaoliu was surprised when he heard this and frowned: "Then where should you put it?"
"Lean against the wall, as far away as possible - it doesn't really work, my head is still buzzing."
"you……"
"you……"
Yan Xiaoliu pointed the black stick at the guard, his hands shaking with anger, "What should we do if the people inside run away?"
"Oh, take it away, don't face me,"
The guard jumped to the side in fright, "What a bad luck... Where can a damn dead man run away?"
Fart. After hearing this, Dancing Horse wanted to hit the guard on the head with the wooden stick.
Yan Xiaoliu said: "What did the county magistrate tell you, and you have completely forgotten it?"
The guard said: "The magistrate didn't say that this wooden stick is so evil - just take it easy. The world is so evil and there are so many weird things. There is no need to risk your life for this."
Yan Xiaoliu's hand holding the wooden stick hung in the air, and he didn't know what to say for a moment.
Because the wall was high and the trees were thick, the sun did not shine on him, so he felt a bit chilly, his mind was a little confused, and his steps were actually not very steady.
The guard was leaning against the tree and shivering. He was probably thinking about when it would be time to change the guard, and he definitely didn't want to wait any longer.
This residence is the Taiyuan County Prime Minister's Mansion, and the owner of the residence is Taiyuan Deputy Liu Shou, the Commander-in-Chief Wang Wei.
Yan Xiaoliu is Wang Wei's old buddy.
He has been serving as a servant to Wang Wei since he was twelve years old.
At that time, Wang Wei was not yet the county magistrate.
A few days ago, Wang Wei summoned Yan Xiaoliu and the other guards of the Juncheng Mansion together and gave special instructions:
"In this room, there are very important people imprisoned - you take turns on duty, and you must keep an eye on the prisoner. When this matter is over, you will each receive a big reward. But if there is anything wrong with the people in the room,
If something goes wrong, we'll be dead together."
Jun Cheng frowned as he spoke.
Yan Xiaoliu had followed him for thirteen years and had never seen him look so serious.
Yan Xiaoliu secretly swore in his heart that he would not disappoint the county magistrate and would complete the task successfully.
In the past few days, he was on duty in rotation. Yan Xiaoliu was worried that others would not take him seriously, so he took the initiative to take up the duty. He worked three shifts a day, hoping that he would not be left behind in each shift.
It was just that I was really sleepy, so I managed to rest for a while, and when I opened my eyes, I had to stand guard again.
Others advised him: "You should rest for a while. Don't exhaust yourself to death if you don't get the reward in the end."
Yan Xiaoliu smiled and shook his head.
He actually had his own plans in mind - this was his last duty station at Juncheng Mansion, he had to start well and end well, and he must not cause any mistakes to happen to the people in the house.
"Jun Cheng, please rest assured, as long as I am here to guard you, I will never delay your important event."
…
Wu Ma, who had been observing for a long time, had no idea what obsession Yan Xiaoliu had in his heart. His idea was that even if there were only two guards at the door, even if there were thousands of troops standing at the door, I would still sneak out.
At this moment, he made a major discovery.
That is - Yan Xiaoliu can hear his sigh...
The horse dance was a joy. Could it be that what he said in his heart could be heard by others.
Wu Ma then said another sentence in Yan Xiaoliu's head: "Sha Diao, it's time, it's time to go to the toilet."
While speaking, he found that when he said the word "shadiao", there was an echo in Yan Xiaoliu's head.
When the word "arrive" is mentioned, the echo becomes fainter.
When it came to the word "point", the reverberation completely disappeared.
Yan Xiaoliu suddenly raised his head, looked at the other person and said, "What did you say?"
"Talk nonsense."
"Fart. You clearly said, what kind of sand, what kind of sculpture, what kind of bird is this?"
"What's wrong with you today," another person said, "Did you get some evil spirits in the house just now? I told you to mind your own business."
The dancing horse jumped out of Yan Xiaoliu's head again, got into the head of another guard, and said: "Stinky sand sculpture."
Deep consciousness and perception, invisible ripples echoed, similar to the situation just now.
The guard was shocked and turned to look at Yan Xiaoliu.
"What is stinky sand?"
Wu Ma then understood. He could talk to people inside his head, but the other person could only hear the first two words.
Yan Xiaoliu said: "Smelly sand? Why do you think of asking this?"
"That's not what you said."
"fart."
After arguing for a long time, the two guards thought they were deaf, so they reached out to pick out their ears, and a large piece of earwax fell out.
Wu Ma suddenly thought that people in the Sui Dynasty had never heard of the word sand sculpture, so naturally they didn't know that they were scolding him.
As a history buff who specializes in the Sui and Tang Dynasties, I have done some research on the curse words used in the Sui and Tang Dynasties.
The most popular curse words nowadays are "field slave" and "field fellow". That is to say, people are called farmers and country bumpkins.
Emperor Taizong of the Tang Dynasty once came home from get off work and scolded Wei Zheng with Empress Changsun: "He will kill the peasant farmer!" which means: Damn it, I will definitely kill this country bumpkin farmer if I have the chance in the future.
It's a pity that Wu Ma said "Tian She Han" at this moment, and the other party could only hear the word "Tian She", which has no lethality.
What other curse words were used during the Sui and Tang Dynasties?
There are three words for beggar, three words for beggar, and three words for dog and rat. None of them can be used.
Wu Ma thought about it again and again, and suddenly it occurred to him that the word "blind donkey" was a favorite curse word used by monks in the Sui and Tang Dynasties. It was used to describe people who have no Taoist vision and are stupid in understanding.
Then he said in the head of another guard: "Blind donkey, lock your grandpa here to die."