He didn't know what kind of dirty thing was possessing him. He first uttered shameful lines, and then imitated the flying sound of "whoosh" and rushed out of the bunker with two legs.
The river was still so calm, Wade ran and jumped into it, intending to wade across.
In an ideal plan, he would flash his middle finger to the bear, which would make the bear angry and charge towards him.
In this way, if both parties are running, they should meet in the middle of the river. When the time comes, if you slide and shovel, the blood and internal organs in the bear's belly will be carried away by the running water, and your new clothes will not be soiled.
Perfect plan.
But without the plot rationality gem, many things would not change based on his subjective consciousness.
"Charge! Kill! Gululu"
He held a dagger in his right hand, raised his middle finger with his left hand, shouted loudly and rushed to the other side of the river, and then sank.
The river was much deeper than he thought, and it went directly over his head, leaving only a string of bubbles rising to the surface from below.
The bear on the other side of the river scratched its ears and turned to look this way, with a confused look in its eyes. It seemed to have heard something just now and felt an inexplicable anger.
But when I looked back, why didn't I pinch anything?
Forget it, let's take a look at these fish and choose a fatter one.
Su Ming, who was still hiding in the bushes behind Wade, sighed. He knew his cousin would be like this, but it didn't matter. He could just run across from the bottom of the river. Diving and swimming were compulsory courses for mercenaries anyway.
But will Deadpool really be what he thinks?
In fact, it was also impossible. I saw the water surging in the middle of the river, and Wade emerged from the water. He assumed a classic pose of Marilyn Monroe and danced a water ballet like a hibiscus emerging from the water.
One moment, his upper body was twisting back and forth in the water, and the next moment, his legs were spinning and kicking back and forth. Even through the red and black mask, you could see a fake smile on his face like a professional athlete.
"Wade?"
Su Ming tilted his head and shouted, feeling so tired.
"oh!"
My cousin actually heard it. He seemed to suddenly remember his current task and started swimming towards the brown bear.
When he climbed up to the opposite river bank with a dagger in his mouth, he shook his butt like a wild dog to shake off the water stains. The water droplets sprinkled in the sun formed a rainbow.
But the brown bear was not cooperative at all. It did not rush towards him, but stood up warily.
This is the case with wild animals. Many species will stand upright to increase the visual cross-sectional area and make themselves look larger, which can scare off many enemies.
Although Deadpool was washed very clean last night, as the night passed, his ever-rotting body began to exude various fragrances.
Bears generally have a super-sensitive sense of smell, and polar bears are the best among them. Their sense of smell is seven times that of dogs. They can smell blood ten kilometers away in complex windy and snowy environments. North American brown bears are not bad either.
You can smell the sweetness of honey from three kilometers away.
When a brown bear who is about to eat meets Deadpool, can he let such a thing come close to him?
Seeing that the brown bear was motionless, Wade had no intention of changing his plan. Anyway, according to the theory of relativity, as long as he speeds up, it means the other party slows down.
So Deadpool charged, slid a shovel on the gravel beach, passed between the brown bear's two upright legs, and chopped off the man's balls with a knife.
"Ouch!!!"
Thousands of birds were startled in the woods, and the injured and crazy brown bear fought with the damn humans.
The next second, flesh and blood flew everywhere.
The final result was good, Wade had two arms torn off, but he still held a dagger between his feet, stabbed it into the brown bear's mouth, destroyed its brain and killed it.
Smelling the unique stench of the beast, he joked to himself and joked with the non-existent audience, turned over and leaned against the bear's body, trying to fight back again with his arms between his feet.
Su Ming came over to help him and used a stapler on his shoulders a few times to help fix his fallen arms.
Deadpool's self-healing speed is also a joke. Sometimes he heals so fast that he can let the enemy pluck out his arms one by one while fighting. But sometimes he heals very slowly, and it takes two or three days to break off an arm.
Only genius can grow.
Who knows why, maybe it has something to do with his own mood.
"Not bad, at least the self-healing ability is working very well."
Wade stood up and tried to move his arms. Except for a slight leak of blood from the creaking hole, everything was fine. He took out the dagger from the bear's mouth and put it away, put his hands on his hips in a cowboy posture, and stepped on the bear's head.
:
"Cousin, please take a picture for me. I'll go back and give it to Vanessa. I can't show it to her."
As he spoke, he wilted again. Although he was not dead, how could he go back to see her now that he was neither a human nor a ghost?
'What if she doesn't love me anymore when she sees what I'm like now?'
But his cousin seemed to have been prepared. He threw the stapler that had just been used to staple his arm over: "It's very simple. Let's go to the Margarita Bar first. You can go there to get the surveillance video and find your handsome appearance in the past."
Just print out a copy of the photo and pin it on your forehead."
"What a great idea!" Wade's eyes suddenly lit up. He raised his knife and cut off one of the brown bear's legs, then put it on his shoulder: "What are we waiting for? I know a good cobbler in New York, I'll give him this leg."
Take it and make some leather underwear to wear next time you go swimming."
As expected, it was night when the two arrived at Sister Margaret's Bar. Wade wasted too much time at the tanner's because the other party said that tanning leather takes time, and Wade kept talking about it.
After leaving the leather goods store, the brothers went to Afu's house again. Wade told the blind black old lady about his recent experiences and asked her to help him find out about a pervert named Francis if she knew anyone on the road.
.
Afu was actually quite enthusiastic, especially after knowing that the person following Wade was Deathstroke, she began to ask about Captain America, and even took out her treasured 'white noodles' and asked him to suck it.
Su Ming doesn't touch those things. As a tactician, he needs to keep his mind clear at all times. Things like narcotics and hallucinogens are definitely not allowed.
The three of them ate popcorn for a while in the basement, and Wade took out a game console and plugged it into the TV to play. He said that he had had a dream since he was a child, which was to play games with his relatives.
Seeing how pitiful he was, Su Ming played tank battle with him all afternoon. After nightfall, the two of them ate microwaved bear legs and went to the bar.
When he opened the door, Wade found that the atmosphere was different from before. The usually arrogant mercenaries actually made way for him.
Whoever he looks at, the other person always lowers his head and avoids it.
At first, he believed the rumors in the live broadcast room, thinking that he really had the ability to tremble and reveal his domineering power, which is called domineering and domineering.
But later it was discovered that these people were not afraid of him, but of the death knell walking beside him.
That set of black and yellow armor has always had only one owner, and no one even dared to impersonate it. Everyone was afraid of the legend among mercenaries.
After all, this is a business that respects the old and cares for the young. Every successful mercenary is a star made possible by the flesh and blood of others.
When he came to the bar, the weasel huddled in a corner and shivered, muttering, "You can't see me, you can't see me."
But Wade lay on the bar, reached out, grabbed his collar, and pulled the man out. He sat on the bar stool in a squatting position, tilted the corner of his mouth, and smiled proudly:
"Guess who I am?"
"Wade? I can still hear your bitch's voice even if it is flushed into the sewer. Oh, you have done so much harm to me."
The weasel was stunned for a moment, then smiled bitterly and vomited his bitterness.