"Tell me, you have such a huge advantage, how come you behave like this?"
Su Ming pushed away the living carrion, put a cigarette into his mouth and asked helplessly. His little cousin would be in trouble at any time, and he had been mentally prepared for this.
Deathstroke's mission completion rate is 100%, while Deadpool's mission completion rate is only 60-70%.
Wade is a very casual person. Sometimes in the middle of a task, if he feels that he has done something wrong, he may even go back and kill his employer and steal the money.
As for the standard of right and wrong, it is of course based on his personal preference. If the target he wants to kill is particularly compatible with him, he will give up the mission at any time.
This is also the reason why his ability is very strong, but his business is average. Who among the truly selective people would find a mercenary like this who could betray him at any time?
The business of mercenaries and killers is also very competitive, especially in the information age he lives in. The mission success rate is displayed on the international mercenary website, and the customer messages below are all negative reviews, which greatly affects his business.
However, Wade often engages in promotional activities, such as 50% off the commission, killing one and sending it to the whole family, taking artistic photos of corpses, etc.
He also distributed discount coupons in newspapers and magazines, so that housewives who like to collect discount coupons can enjoy top-notch mercenary services for free as long as they collect ten coupons...
Unfortunately, most of the people these housewives want to kill are their husbands, so the money-making value-added services such as ‘murder and arson’, ‘family extermination’ and so on prepared by Deadpool are of no use at all.
This move of discount coupons caused Deadpool to suffer a lot. In order to make a living in difficult times, he had to take on tasks such as finding cats and dogs, helping with weeding in the yard...
At this time, Deadpool is using the power of gems to reposition his facial features, which looks like dragging different icons on the computer desktop.
He held his mouth and dragged it from his forehead back to his chin, but the mouth seemed to have a life of its own, still competing with him, wanting to sing loudly.
Deadpool was so cruel that he ripped the mouth off his face, threw it to the ground and stomped on it several times.
There is really no mouth on his face, just like in a cartoon. If you remove the lips, there really is no mouth. It is not like a hole exposed as usual.
He stretched out a finger, looked seriously at the mouth on the ground with the eyes on his chin, pointed at it and performed a pantomime, probably to remind it to understand who was the boss.
Then he picked up the mouth very proudly, patted the dust on it, and put it back on his face.
With his mouth to scare the monkeys, the other five sense organs were very obedient, and he smoothly returned them to their original positions.
"Slade, help me check if the distance between my eyes is right? Am I still the handsome man I used to be? And is my nose crooked?"
Su Ming looked at Wade's red and swollen lips like sausages. The combination of rotten avocado and fiery red lips was really poisonous.
He turned his head, looked at World Tree and took a deep breath: "It's good, nothing went wrong. Put on your mask quickly and tell me why things have reached this point and where did Loki go?
"
When Wade mentioned this, he showed a sad expression. He slowly walked to the piano and stroked every key.
"That's a long story. It starts when Loki and I converted the battlefield into a timeline, which was about a million years ago..."
"Then keep your story short..."
Su Ming interrupted him angrily. Now he wanted to find out where Loki went and how he restrained the plot gem, instead of listening to Wade talk about the origins of mankind.
Wade's prepared speech was suppressed and he opened his mouth. The red sausage squirmed and became shiny.
He sighed. What a thrilling and touching experience this was, but his cousin didn’t want to hear it? He pulled down his mask in disappointment and covered his face:
"Oh, you're really going to lose your popularity. Maybe viewers would like to know? Loki and I worked together on a planet tens of thousands of years ago, digging a hole in the ground..."
"No, they don't want to know. It's a story that doesn't exist. It was made up by you or him." Su Ming refused.
Wade touched his chin, thoughtfully: "So, I fell into the temporary script and got too involved in the play? But I have always felt that being in the play is the basic accomplishment of an actor, although my handsome face can fully achieve it.
The standard of a youth idol, but I have always paid great attention to cultivating my acting skills. I have to study the script for twenty-seven hours a day, and I still practice dancing with a fever of 50 degrees..."
"call......"
"Why does your symbiote have slippery hands?"
"Aren't symbiotes just slippery?"
"That makes sense...I really want the symbiote too."
"In the future, you will have a bunch of different symbiotes of five colors, which will turn you into something like a five-color team fusion robot. Now answer my question."
A sharp black thorn was slowly withdrawn from Wade's chest and flowed back to Su Ming's chest.
Strangler just ate some of Hela's black spiral spikes. It can't imitate this energy creation, but it's quite fun to imitate its appearance.
Wade touched his chest, and there was a big hole in his uniform. He regretted that he had changed out of the Loki-style robe right away, but now his clothes were torn again.
He scratched his head: "Then let me tell you briefly, in the long battle between Loki and I, no matter what kind of attack I used, he always had a way to deal with it. We were indecisive for a long time, so
I thought about going back in time to deal with the younger version of him, and then he followed, and we were still in a stalemate. It was such a long time..."
Su Ming rubbed his face: "So you fell in love and found that you couldn't do anything to each other, so you cherished each other and couldn't help but become good friends?"
Wade sat down dejectedly, lying on the piano as if sobbing, and the piano made a heavy sound.
"Yes, when I took off my pants and wanted him to leave a cutie mark on my butt... he betrayed me... woo woo."
"Seriously, friendship magic doesn't seem to work very well in our world. Secondly, if you want a cutie mark, you should turn yourself into a horse first and then try."
Wade suddenly got up from the piano, his mask showing a moist dark color around his eyes: "No need, after experiencing this, I have grown up again, and I understand some truths."
"Oh? Do you understand that Loki can't be trusted?"
"No, I understand that you have to give before you take. I'm going to take off Loki's pants and leave something in his anus. Then we will be good friends, that's right."
Wade tapped his palms, he had a plan, a terrible, dark revenge plan as dark as the DC universe.
"pg,pg-13,r,r-18,nc-17..."
Su Ming suddenly began to memorize the grades of the film rating system, and Wade suddenly became depressed, and his plan could no longer be used.
"Damn Loki, is this also part of his calculations?"
"I can probably guess what you are thinking. Sometimes I also want to put a C4 in Loki's anus to detonate and watch him fly into the sky, but you must have forgotten your weapons in the taxi again? Let's not mention these for now.
, tell me where he went?" Su Ming casually played a few notes on the piano. In fact, he played the piano well.
"I didn't see it. My eyes were on my chin before, remember? I could only see the keys and my big dick, not even the sheet music."
Deadpool spread his hands helplessly, there was nothing he could do, it was so big and attracted so much attention.
Su Ming thought for a while, walked over and put the piano into his bag first. Green pianos were quite rare and should not be missed. Then he motioned for a few people to follow him out of the shade of the World Tree, and raised his head to look at the sky.
"Heimdall! Take us back!"
The Rainbow Bridge fell with almost no delay, teleporting everyone directly back to Asgard.
In the observatory at the end of the Rainbow Bridge, not only Heimdall, the lion of Asgard, was here, but even Odin was there. He looked at the few people who appeared expressionlessly, holding the long Gangnir in his hand.
I don't know what I'm thinking about.
"You have met my daughter."
This Odin is not at all the one he slept with before. Judging from his aura, he is completely different.
If the person I saw in Odin's Sleep felt like a tiger or other beast, then the person in front of me felt like I was facing a god. There is no better adjective.
But Su Ming was not nervous. He had seen many gods, not to mention that he had seen through that Odin and Ancient One were accomplices.
"Yes, Hela is quite enthusiastic, but Loki ran away, which is very strange."
"Oh?" Odin nodded first, then smiled: "Why is it weird?"
"His various behaviors have always been to lure me to find him, and he even left many subtle clues to guide my investigation like a prank. But when I was about to meet him, he hid.
Isn’t it strange that he opened it? Or does it mean that he has the shy mind of a girl and is too embarrassed to see me when things get bad? "
Su Ming spoke seriously, but both Xili and Heimdall had strange expressions on their faces.
What does shyness mean?
Deadpool, on the other hand, looked around, touched, and even tried to bite the wall with his teeth to see if it was pure gold, but he only licked dust.
Hearing Su Ming's words, he nodded in recognition. Yes, Loki is a tired person. Not only did Uncle Deadpool see through his true nature, he could also use Japanese-specific nouns to describe him. Isn't that awesome?
He immediately started talking trash to the non-existent audience, generally showing his insight and language skills.
In fact, he only speaks English, but he can use English to communicate with intelligent creatures in the universe. Anyway, the other party can understand what he means. Readers will not feel anything wrong when they see him communicating with various aliens in English.
Because the plot is very continuous, everything flows smoothly.
He can even communicate with cockroaches, bedbugs, and even trash cans. Of course, it's not clear whether that is an unknown special ability or a manifestation of his illness.