All along, Zhang Cuilan was the only one who contributed to the lives of the nanny and grandson.
Zhao Xuanying also understood this very well, so at the beginning, she wanted to study hard and find a job with a good salary after graduating from school, so that her grandma could live a happy life.
However, I don’t know since when, she who used to always talk to her grandma about everything gradually began to reduce her communication with her.
Even when chatting at home, the topic will always be directed to the neighbor next door.
It was like that when I first lived in a small residential building, and it was the same after moving to a new home. From the beginning, the little girl who only cared about her grandma gradually turned into a girl who cares about Liu Weicheng.
Zhao Xuanying hates herself now.
I hate myself now that all I can think about is Liu Weicheng.
She unknowingly ignored her grandma and even failed to fulfill her obligations after her grandma was injured.
Perhaps in the eyes of outsiders, Zhao Xuanying is already extraordinary for a student to achieve this level. After all, she has to go to school and take care of an elderly person with limited mobility at home.
But in Zhao Xuanying's view, this alone is not enough.
She had always seen how hard her grandmother had worked to raise her since she was a child. Now that her grandmother needed to be taken care of by herself, she failed to take good care of her. This result made her feel very guilty.
Zhao Xuanying is a girl with a strong sense of responsibility.
I always put too much pressure on myself and never consider whether I have done much or not. I only care about whether I have accomplished the goals I set in advance.
I don't want to trouble the people around me, and I just keep many things in my heart and bear them alone.
She was too considerate of others. Even if her best friend Shen Yunli kissed Liu Weicheng while he was asleep, she finally chose to forgive him after witnessing it with her own eyes.
She didn't want to put any pressure on her, but she inadvertently accumulated a lot of pressure on herself.
Looking at her grandma who was injured due to her own negligence, Zhao Xuanying attributed all the faults to herself. With this guilt in mind, she took care of her alone. After her condition improved, she was transferred to a general ward.
, she still stayed by my side and never went anywhere.
If she wasn't really thirsty, she wouldn't get up and go get a glass of water.
The girl's self-blaming voice reached the ears of Liu Weicheng, who looked sideways at the figure sitting in front of the hospital bed, looking at the girl with her head lowered in front of her.
Liu Weicheng, who originally planned to confess everything, realized that it was not the right time to mention it at this moment.
He couldn't tell those words to Zhao Xuanying in this situation.
After hearing the girl's words of self-blame, she even chose to enlighten her.
"You've done a good job, it's not your fault."
"If I cared more about grandma, she wouldn't be afraid of disturbing me in the middle of the night when I go to the bathroom, and she wouldn't even dare to turn on the light in the bathroom until..."
"You don't need to hold everything back on yourself. Grandma doesn't want you to be like this either."
"But... if it weren't for me, grandma wouldn't be living the life she is living now."
His speaking voice was very dull, so dull that he seemed to be describing an extremely small thing.
At this moment, Zhao Xuanying already knew the fact that she was adopted.
Over the years, images of her grandma working hard to raise her flashed through her mind one by one like a slide show. In her memory, she woke up early and worked hard at night, trying to find ways to make money to support herself every day. This was not how she should have lived.
That's right...
If it hadn't been for her adoption, the house and money left to her grandma by her grandfather before his death would have been enough for her to live out the rest of her life safely.
Send a baby girl who can't speak a word to the best school in the city, and receive the best education since she was a child.
It was obvious that sending her to a public school would require less money, but for her own sake, grandma still endured it silently and firmly believed that she was just working hard to save money so that she could get ahead.
Zhao Xuanying suddenly felt that it was very bad for her to be like this. If it weren't for herself, her grandma would not have been working so hard, and her body would not be getting worse day by day. Long-term fatigue made the old woman's already aging body even more dangerous.
This morning, I received a call from my grandma’s cell phone.
The caller was a fellow villager whom I had met many times. After learning about last night's accident, the fellow villager also came over early in the morning to visit. It was only after seeing Zhang Cuilan's condition that he reported this to his grandmother.
He told her about working secretly.
It was only after knowing these things that Zhao Xuanying became what she is now.
She had always thought that her grandma was just relaxing with the grandparents in the activity center. Who would have thought that at this time, her grandma would still care about her, just to help her save more money for college.
.
In the name of going to square dance every day, I actually still help with cleaning.
The salary was not much, but she actually deposited it all into her bank card.
It was also from the words of her fellow villager that Zhao Xuanying understood what her grandmother had done during this period, and how incompetent she was and how little she cared about the other party.
While she was still worried about Liu Weicheng all day long, her grandma had to work hard to save money because she couldn't take care of her tired body.
Everything her grandma did made Zhao Xuanying feel that she was the worst granddaughter in the world, and even the worst person.
"If she hadn't adopted me in the first place, grandma wouldn't have been so tired..."
"If it weren't for me, grandma wouldn't be sick and still have to go out to work..."
"If it weren't for me, grandma..."
Her voice became softer and softer, and Zhao Xuanying could no longer bear it any longer.
She didn't want to disturb her grandma in the hospital bed. Even though her vision was starting to blur at this moment, she still had to hold back and not make too much noise.
The hand on the bed tightened, and the sheets began to wrinkle and deform under her forceful twisting.
Zhao Xuanying didn't dare to think about it.
If I lost my grandma, what would the world be like?
After so many years of getting along with her, she has become accustomed to having her grandma by her side. When she was a child, she also said that she wanted her grandma to live a good life and live a happy life...
However, I am so bad now that I have not fulfilled my childhood promise at all.
Looking at Zhao Xuanying sitting in front of the hospital bed, blaming herself.
Liu Weicheng did not say any comforting words that were not painful, nor did he try to persuade the other party not to care about them.
After a long time, he just silently came forward, lightly brushed the other person's face, and pressed it against his own body.
Feel the trembling of the other person's body and the wet fabric through the clothes...
He had obviously made up his mind a long time ago not to make Zhao Xuanying cry, but the closer she got to him, the more the girl in front of her seemed to be crying.
This... I don't know how many times I have seen the other person cry.